How to Keep a Relationship Going: The Secret to Harmonious Love

You can’t do anything wrong in a new romance. But as the love grows, learning how to keep a relationship going strong makes all the difference.

I am just going to say it—relationships are not easy. In fact, a good relationship is about the rarest thing there is. It is very infrequent when I am not out for a girl’s night, and the conversation turns into a bash session about everyone’s significant other. Whether dating or married, learning how to keep a relationship going isn’t always simple.

How to keep your relationship going strong

At the beginning of a relationship, you can’t do anything wrong. You spend every waking moment together. All those little things they do are cute, and even if they aren’t, you look the other way. But, real life creeps in, and things aren’t so cute anymore.

Whether going through a rough patch, loss of passion or conversation, or when you just can’t seem to get off the fight roller coaster, understanding how to keep a relationship going is arduous and takes some self-sacrifice and maturity. If you really want your relationship to last, and you think your mate is worth the effort, these nine secrets keep the magic alive.

#1 Have heavy shoulders. One of the hardest parts about being in a relationship is learning to control your own emotions and having heavy shoulders. As a couple, there will be times when your other half goes through a rough patch. Unfortunately, humans take out their misery on the ones we love most.

If you notice your partner goes through something stressful or overwhelming, don’t absorb the anger they direct your way, rather see it as their way of venting and let it roll off your shoulders.

If they flip out because you left your socks on the floor or send you irate text messages, shrug them off and simply say to both them and yourself, “You don’t mean that, that is your frustration talking.” If you react, it just ends in misery.

Go for a walk, refuse to take it personally, and have heavy shoulders, to shoulder whatever they need to get out of their system. That doesn’t mean you should be a pushover. But, do let them vent and let it go. Wait for them to come to their senses and talk through the real issue. [Read: The 15 traits of selfless love that sets it apart from selfish love]

#2 Do the nice little things. If you are out during the day and see something they might like, pick it up for them. You don’t need a special day or occasion to do something nice.

If you pick up a flower on the way home from work, take an errand off of their list, or prepare their favorite meal, just because, it keeps a positive feeling in your relationship and acts as a reminder that you prioritize them.

It also lets them know you think of them often. Even if it is something as simple as a text message saying, “I love you.” Make an effort EVERYDAY to do at least one simple and significant thing to let them know you care. It doesn’t have to be spectacular. It should come from the heart and be genuine. [Read: 15 sweet gestures to express love without words]

#3 Try to spice things up in the bedroom. It is easy to start to lose some of the passion you had at the beginning of the relationship. About six months in, most couples start to freak out because they no longer steal quickies on their lunch break and Saturday mornings aren’t about lying in bed and having sex till noon.

But, even the best couples lose the heat once in a while. The trick to a healthy relationship is to mix things up. Don’t always go with the same moves, or it becomes routine.

If you want to know how to keep a relationship going with the same enthusiasm, introduce new ways to turn each other on and feel good. Sext to get them revved up, and find the things that make them tick. What goes on in the bedroom, goes on in the relationship. If you keep your sex alive and real, your relationship won’t get dull or monotonous. [Read: 20 racy ways to keep monogamous sex spicy]

#4 Forgive. One of the biggest hardships to any relationship is the art of forgiving. When you establish a long-term relationship, there will always be things you can do to hurt one another. Whether intentional or not, if you don’t forgive and let them go, you will forever carry a backpack of resentment.

That muddles any union. Instead of holding onto past grievances, to know how to keep a relationship going, you must forgive. That doesn’t mean just saying, “It’s okay.” Truly let go of whatever anger you bear, forgive with all your heart, and start each day with a fresh outlook, even when it’s super hard to do.

The unfortunate part is we hurt the people we love the most and hardest. Learning to forgive and let things go is key to keeping your relationship healthy and loving. [Read: 10 relationship milestones and when they should happen]

#5 Keep it in the relationship. As I said before, girl’s night and guy’s night quickly turns into a “bitch” session about all the things your significant others do. If you want to keep your relationship strong, only talk about your problems with each other.

Like letting a demon in, discussing your anger or your personal life with others, even your best friend, only adds fuel to the fire. If upset or hurt, go to the source and work it out. It doesn’t help to vent continually to family and friends. You want them to like your significant other, so why bash them?

It not only makes you feel ugly, but it also makes the people in your life not like your partner. That is a recipe for destruction. If you have an issue, keep it between the two of you. Stop going outside to find naysayers or people who will tell you, you are right. It doesn’t matter, just resolve and let it go. [Read: The 15 phases of a healthy relationship]

#6 Work as a team. The key to understanding how to keep a relationship going is trust. The only way that you build and establish trust is to be there for one another, not keep secrets, and work to solve problems and build a life together.

Stop thinking you are a one-man band and work together. A strong relationship involves two people combining their hearts, their souls, and their lives. If you don’t do that, then you are simply two people living together, emotionally apart.

Make major decisions together, talk through your problems, and turn to each other to figure stuff out. If you want them to be your better half, let them be, by including them in your life instead of keeping things separate.

#7 Be honest. To build trust, you must be honest. Sometimes we tell little lies to “avoid a fight.” I get it, no one wants to fight! The problem when you tell “little lies” and you are found out, they become giant fights.

They also put little cracks into your relationship and make your significant other question your truthfulness going forward. If you lie once, even in a small degree, who is to say you can’t do it on a grand scale?

It is those little mistruths we tell that damage our relationship the most. They poke holes over time and destroy trust. [Read: 25 signs of disrespect in a relationship that shouldn’t be tolerated]

#8 Learn to speak their language. A lot of times people think that everyone acknowledges love in the same way. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Every person both shows and interprets love differently.

If you want to know how to keep a relationship going, find out how your partner hears love. Each person has different needs, if you find out what your partner needs to feel loved and whole, talk to them in their language.

That might mean they need to hear you say, “I love you,” or it might mean they need you to take out the garbage. It is important to figure out their perception of love so you can speak their language and continually tell them “I love you” in the ways that they hear. [Read: Look for these 14 signs of love if you want a happily ever after]

#9 It isn’t about communication. Often, at the first sign of trouble, a couple starts to think that communication is key. And, it can sometimes be.

But, sometimes communication isn’t the problem, learning when things are important and when they are not is the key. If you constantly communicate your dissatisfaction to someone, then it isn’t that they don’t hear you, it is that they tire of hearing it.

Learn when to make something an issue and when it is better just to let it go. No one is perfect, including you. Make a pact to pick your battles and not sweat the small stuff, or all you find is the small stuff becoming enormous.

Relationships are a difficult thing to maintain. When with someone, there are always going to be times when you show your not-so-good side, have a rough patch, or, excuse my bluntness, get bored with one another.

If you try not to sweat the small stuff, trust, include one another, and keep things alive in the bedroom, it might not all be sunshine and flowers, but you will weather any storm.

The key is to continue to try. Make each day a new chance to show your love, make each other feel good, even in small ways, and never carry things forward from the day before. Follow the old Cherokee proverb, “Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.”

[Read: 20 things happy couples don’t do in a perfect relationship]

Learn how to keep a relationship going on track and harmonious with these nine tips. That means forgive, forget, and think about each other and how to make each other happy, not just on special occasions, but in little ways every day. 

The post How to Keep a Relationship Going: The Secret to Harmonious Love is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Article from: LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships, by Julie Keating

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You Have Not Because You Ask Not

When someone tells me their spouse isn’t giving them something they want, I usually say, “Have you asked for it clearly?”

The answers are often something like, “He should know” or “I told her when we got married” or other things that aren’t a clear, recent request. 

Let me share a truth with you:

If you haven’t asked, you haven’t been refused.

And if you asked in the past, but didn’t ask today, then you weren’t refused today. I realise this may seem like wordplay, but it’s not. Rejecting a clear request is much more difficult than not offering something when no request has been made. Please also note hinting is not a request. Neither is making sad puppy eyes!

Along these lines, I’ve done a horrible job of asking for donations most of this year. Because of that, donations are down. I have not because I’ve asked not. Earlier this month I did ask, and several of you gave (thanks!). This is me asking again. Lori and I put in 40 plus hour weeks doing what we do, and we depend on support from those who feel what we do is worthwhile. You can make a one-time or recurring donation here. The page includes information for mailing a check or setting up bill pay.

By the way, several of you had problems with Paypal doing recurring donations earlier this year. We recreated the code and I’ve had confirmation it works again.

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Looking For A Spark?

Married life can become routine and comfortable.

Comfort serves a purpose – but too much and it becomes monotonous.

What if there were a way to add a spark for your marriage? And what if this you could try out this spark for free for 30 days?

You can … The Sexy Marriage Radio Academy

This is the place where you can ask your questions you feel embarrassed to ask your friends or co-workers or small group at church. There is a community online within the Academy that is asking these questions already – and answering them.

Members of the Academy also get their questions answered via the Quarterly Webinars, or the monthly live Coaching Q&A call, but the real conversations take place in the private Facebook Group page. And the coolest thing, there are already lots of  conversations going on with the other Academy members already inside.

So what are some of the topics/questions we’ve already covered?

How to be more sexually confident.

Creating a sexy state of mind.

How to approach conflict in married life.

Plus many, many more.

Curious about these topics or others?

Join the Sexy Marriage Radio Academy today.

You can even try it out for 30 day for Free.

The post Looking For A Spark? appeared first on Simple Marriage.

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11 Things You Absolutely Must Know about Toxic People

While most of us have seen fictional representations of psychopaths, sociopaths and people who are evil, these aren’t the kinds of friends, neighbors, co-workers and family members we regularly interact with. Yet, we may be likely to encounter or occasionally deal with people who are best classified as toxic.

As the word implies, there’s nothing good about toxic people. Even though most toxic people aren’t criminals, they could have underlying personality disorders, including narcissistic personality disorder, bipolar disorder, or other mental health condition.

Or they could just be mean, self-centered, manipulative, egotistical, selfish and calculating.

Since it’s important to know how to recognize toxic people so you can protect yourself and learn how to deal with them, here are some traits to be on the lookout for.

1. Toxic people may or may not be there when you need them. You cannot rely on them, even if they are. In the unlikely event they do show up for you, you’ll never hear the end of it. Instead, you’ll hear an endless rendition of how they saved you when you couldn’t help yourself. You’ll be forever in their debt. That’s how they’ll make you feel. Furthermore, while they may help in a crisis, forget anything but superficial support if you’re in emotional need. Toxic people can’t offer you comfort. Everything always must be about them.
2. They lack empathy. Don’t expect someone who’s toxic to ever fully comprehend what you’re going through, especially if it’s emotional pain. They’re simply incapable of empathy or sympathy. While they may mouth the words, saying what you want to hear, their expression is enough to tell you they don’t mean what they say.
3. They’re not your friend. Friends don’t make it all about themselves. That’s not being a friend, it’s being a user. And toxic people are accomplished users, to the extent that the one being used never realizes what’s going on. Even if they do, they don’t want to believe it, making excuses to absolve their not-friend of any culpability.
4. With toxic people, it’s all about control and manipulation. Much like psychopaths, toxic people are expert in how to control and manipulate others. They always know the words and actions that will send shock waves through you, set you on edge, put you into a tailspin of doubt, confusion, anxiety and worry. You’ll wonder what you did wrong, and make yourself ill trying to figure out how to please them. But you never can please a toxic person, who always wants more, demands more, until you’re totally drained. In addition, their ability to manipulate makes you feel like you owe them something. Also, toxic people may take something or hurt you in some way and say they did it for you. This is especially true in workplace situations. Remember, you don’t owe anybody anything, particularly toxic people.
5. They’ll use you to get what they want, without a thought about how you’re affected. Smiling to your face, yet devising cunning ways to convince or coerce you into doing what they want is the toxic individual’s stock in trade. Once they get what they want, however, don’t think that they’ll spend a second concerning themselves with how you might be affected. That will never happen.
6. You’re constantly forced to prove yourself. With impossibly lofty standards for others like you to live up to, the toxic person puts you in a never-ending state of trying to prove yourself. Once again, no matter what you do, you’ll never achieve the level the toxic person has set as the bar. If you come close, he or she will move the bar higher, making it impossible to ever succeed.
7. Toxic people refuse to apologize. Saying “I’m sorry” is anathema to toxic people. How could they apologize when they think they’re perfect? Furthermore, they’d never admit to failure, let alone causing harm to others. Their self-centered world view won’t permit it. Guess who loses out? Anyone who allows themselves to be sucked into the cold, emotionless world of the toxic individual. In addition, if you confront a toxic person about something they did wrong, they’ll lie, twist the situation or make up different details. You’ll begin to wonder if you were the one who was wrong. Never argue with toxic people. Just move on.
8. They never own their feelings. What’s behind their inscrutable eyes is forever a mystery. You’ll never get a toxic person to admit what they’re feeling. They may tell you what they believe you want to hear, but it won’t be the complete truth, only the faintest approximation. Even then, you probably can’t believe what they say. What you will find, however, is that they’ll project their feelings to you. This puts you in the position of having to defend or justify yourself.
9. You never know which version of themselves you’re with. Dealing with toxic people is like peering into a kaleidoscope. The picture always changes. Is he or she the charming conversationalist today or the know-it-all who demands everyone’s attention? With a chameleon’s ability to serve up different guises of themselves, toxic people are adept at sizing up a situation and presenting whatever face they deem appropriate to accomplish their goals.
10. Whatever your success, toxic people always dismiss it or try to downplay it. Got a promotion? Too bad it wasn’t as good as your co-worker’s. Received recognition for a paper or some other acknowledgement of your talent or ability? That was inconsequential, netting you nothing. About that raise? It hardly counts. It doesn’t matter what success you achieve, you’ll never hear praise from toxic people. Instead, they’ll minimize it, compare it negatively to someone else’s achievements — including their own — and make you feel like maybe you didn’t accomplish all that much after all.
11. If you’re waiting to hear from them, they’ll leave you hanging, then disappear. Toxic people demand to be served, yet they’re quick to be absent when you want or expect anything from them. Try to get in touch with them and they won’t answer their phone, respond to texts or emails, don’t come to the door — if you even dare to invade their personal space. This all fits with the total package of the toxic person. Anything and everything they do must be on their terms.

Article from: Relationships & Love – Psych Central, by Suzanne Kane

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Ignoring a Guy: How to Do It Right and Leave Him Chasing You

Guys have a way of acting as if they don’t need us around. But, try ignoring a guy and see what happens. It is an excellent way to get him and keep him.

Often the hardest things to do meet with the best rewards. When it comes to getting a guy to fall head over heels in love, sometimes the way to his heart is not through his stomach but by getting under his skin. Ignoring a guy may be the best way to peak his interest and have him begging for your attention.

6 great arguments for ignoring a guy

Guys are predictable creatures. If you chase them, they run. If you are too needy, they pull away. Because if you aren’t a challenge, you aren’t as attractive. Perhaps for instinctual reasons, guys love the thrill of the hunt. If you don’t make yourself hunt-able then you aren’t all that alluring. If you ignore him, trust me, it drives him crazy.

#1 Bring out the “hunter” in him. Men really are the “hunters.” There is nothing they enjoy more than chasing after something they want that they can’t have or catch. If you ignore him and make him feel as if he can’t have you, he wants you even more. I know, totally dumb. But the thing he desires most is usually the thing he can’t have. [Read: All the reasons why chasing a guy never helps]

#2 Ignore him if he craves power. Guys like to feel powerful and successful. If you are something unconquerable, it will be all he seeks. If you ignore a guy, he feels powerless to win you over.

Wanting to be in control, it literally drives him nuts that no matter how hard he tries, you just really don’t care enough to acknowledge him. If you worry that he will give up and quit, think again. Ignoring him only makes him work harder. [Read: How to make him worry about losing you]

#3 Make him think you are something special. Usually, when girls like a guy, they can’t do enough to get their attention. Flirting, they hang on a guy’s every word and make him feel super special about himself.

If you want a guy used to girls falling all over themselves to capture his eye, you must set yourself apart from the rest by being what all the other girls aren’t.

Ignoring him confuses him to no end. The girls he doesn’t want, can’t seem to tear themselves away, and the one that he does, doesn’t want anything to do with him. It makes him think there is something special that you alone possess. It makes him have to have you. [Read: How to play hard to get with a guy and leave him craving for you]

#4 Make him crave your attention. Let’s just be honest. Guys crave attention and admiration. If you pretend you couldn’t care less about him, it makes him work overtime to catch your eye.

The more he can’t have your attention, the more obsessive he becomes. Ignoring a guy is like making him wait to have sex with you. If you don’t let him have the attention he craves, he craves it that much more. [Read: How to make a guy realize he’s losing you]

#5 Teach him not to mess with you. If you’re in a relationship with a guy who either doesn’t give you enough attention or with a wandering eye, show him what it feels like for someone to discount his feelings or make him feel less than.

The only way to tame a guy who seemingly can’t be bothered with your relationship is to show him the sting of what it feels like when you dump his ass. Shutting him out and ignoring him altogether makes him think twice about what you really mean to him.

And, it also teaches him that if he can’t get his shit together and start treating you right, you have no problem walking away and saying goodbye. To hold onto him, make him believe he is disposable, and, also, you are not. [Read: 15 shitty ways to lead a guy on and dish out revenge]

#6 Ignore him to keep the peace. Sometimes you must ignore a guy to keep him in line. There are many men out there who like to push their girlfriend’s buttons, especially when they look for a little drama.

If you are with a guy who cyclically does things that make you want to jump out of your skin, the only way to deal with it is just to ignore the behavior. Just like with little kids, if you cease to acknowledge their bad behaviors, eventually they stop acting out.

If a guy learns he no longer gets a rise out of you because you learn to ignore him, likely, he stops doing whatever it is that drives you crazy. And maybe, just maybe, you find some peace in your relationship. [Read: How to play a player – 12 ways to return the favor like a boss]

Ignoring a guy is a super powerful tool to grab his attention, keep his attention, or curb his bad behavior. Although guys usually pretend like they couldn’t care less if women are around, try ignoring him. What you will find, is he needs you a whole lot more than he lets on.

If you try to capture the attention of a guy who could have any girl he wants, be the one that doesn’t give it to him. Ironically, that makes him want you more and more.

[Read: How to make a man chase you – 15 ways to make him fall hard]

The thing most guys want most is the thing they can’t have, so be that thing he can’t seem to catch by ignoring a guy.

The post Ignoring a Guy: How to Do It Right and Leave Him Chasing You is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Article from: LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships, by Julie Keating

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What Does Exclusive Mean? 15 Signs to Tell You’re at This Stage

If you’re ready to settle down with your partner, they may ask if you’re ready to be exclusive. But what does exclusive mean exactly? Here’s how to know.

Your relationship will go through a lot of different stages even before you’re considered to be in a real relationship. Meaning, you might not be able to tell when you’re exclusive. But what does exclusive mean?

Being exclusive is a term used to describe when a couple decides to only ever date each other. They’re happy with one another and they don’t want to date anyone else. Basically, it’s becoming an official couple. Boyfriend and girlfriend. You’re now partners.

Being exclusive is a big deal

This is especially true if you’re someone who doesn’t typically get into serious relationships. Becoming exclusive is declaring your commitment for someone. You’re in it for the long haul. Your intentions are pure.

This can be a huge deal and that’s why it’s such a touchy subject for some. Those who have commitment issues find this word to be super scary. To them, becoming exclusive might be a much bigger deal than it is for you. [Read: 19 sure signs you’re in an exclusive relationship already]

What does exclusive mean and how do you know when you’re ready for it?

If you only want to date that person and nobody else, then you’re ready. But how do you know when it’s time to actually have the discussion? Because you might be ready way before they are.

And if you try to become exclusive with someone who’s really not ready, it could backfire on you. Here’s how to tell if your relationship is ready to be exclusive.

#1 You act like you are already. Basically, you two are already in an exclusive relationship. You don’t see other people and you don’t have the desire to, either. This is a major sign you’re both ready for the commitment. [Read: 14 signs to know if you’re just dating or in a relationship]

#2 You know you don’t want anyone else. If you’re certain you want to commit to that person, then you’re ready. The thing you have to consider is if they feel the same way. If you’re already acting like you’re in an exclusive relationship and they integrate you into their life, they probably feel the same.

#3 Your relationship is healthy. Are you both happy? If you’re treating each other well and things are going great and it’s been a couple months, you could very well be ready for an exclusive relationship.

Just make sure you’re not blinded by your new feelings for this person. Look for the signs of a healthy relationship before you assume things are great. [Read: 15 signs of a healthy relationship you should always look for]

#4 You’re excited by the idea of this relationship. Do you get pumped thinking about your future with this person? If so, you could be ready to be exclusive. Think long and hard about the future. Do you see yourself with that person happily? Having a clear image of a happy relationship together could be a sign you’re ready to commit.

#5 You get upset when you think about losing them. Think about the fact that you could lose that person and not be in a relationship with them. You could live a life without them, actually.

How does that make you feel? If you’re bummed and upset just thinking about it, that person is definitely important to you. So important that you’re probably ready for an exclusive relationship with them.

#6 You both complement one another. No, I don’t mean you both tell each other nice things. This is about your personalities meshing well together. Do your lifestyles fit one another’s? If so, it’s a great sign that you could be very happy together. [Read: How to tell if there’s serious chemistry between two people]

#7 Your friends like them. This is assuming they’ve met already. But if your friends really like them and that person is trying really hard to impress them, they clearly want you around. Making an effort to fit in your life is a huge deal. It shows their commitment already and proves they might be ready to be exclusive.

#8 You like their friends. If you’ve been integrated into their life and have met their friends, they have feelings for you. And if their friends have expressed how much they like you, then you’re in. Exclusivity is right around the corner.

#9 You don’t even consider advances by other people. Anyone who tries to hit on you just doesn’t matter. You don’t even think about it because you’re just not interested. That means you’re happy who you’re with and you’d be happy in an exclusive relationship with them. [Read: 8 ways to deal with an overly flirtatious coworker]

#10 You can solve problems together. This speaks a lot to your compatibility and how you’ll work together to get through tough times in the future.

If you’ve already had a fight and got through it pretty easily by communicating, you’re on the right track. Being able to solve problems as a couple is huge and if you’ve already done it, you’re ready to be exclusive.

#11 You’re satisfied in every area with them. That means in and out of the bedroom. Basically, if your sexual life and romantic life are satisfying to you, then you’re definitely ready to take the next step and be in a committed relationship. They already make you happy.

#12 You talk about the future already. If everything’s been going well, then you probably already talk about a future together. And if they’re discussing a future with you openly, then they’re definitely down for the idea of committing fully. [Read: 15 things to talk about in a happy relationship]

#13 You both have the same morals and values. This is a major thing to consider when dating anyone. If you’re going to be in a committed relationship with someone, you have to be on the same page with your values and morals. If you’re not, the relationship is only bound to be trouble.

#14 You maintain your own lives separate from each other. You can’t be with each other 24/7 and expect the relationship to work. Initially, you might want to spend a ton of time with them. However, being too dependent on them will only be unhealthy.

In order to tell if you’re ready to be exclusive, you have to have separate lives. You still have your friends and you still go out and do your own thing. This shows that you have trust and a healthy base for an exclusive relationship. [Read: 12 insightful lessons to help you have a better life]

#15 They don’t shy away from the idea. Just ask them about it. Talk about how you’re definitely feeling them as a boyfriend or girlfriend. If they don’t shy away from the idea, then they obviously want to commit. Be open and discuss it. If you’re both happy, you’ll probably end up in an exclusive relationship without even knowing it.

[Read: How many dates before you can DTR and make it official?]

What does exclusive mean? If you’ve been wondering this and aren’t sure if you’re ready to take this leap with your significant other, these tips can help.

The post What Does Exclusive Mean? 15 Signs to Tell You’re at This Stage is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Article from: LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships, by Bella Pope

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How to Be Mature: A Guide to Grow Up and Face Life like an Adult

Learning how to be mature is something we all face at some point in our life. It is not as easy or fun as the carefree days of youth, but it has its own reward.

“Adulting” is hard. With bills to pay, a college loan to worry about, and relationship troubles that seems to be pulling at the seams of one’s sanity, how you wish you can revert back to the Hakuna Matata days of your youth. Alas, you’re faced with learning how to be mature instead.

Adult life is indeed challenging. And whether you like it or not, it is inevitable. Sooner or later you’ll find yourself adjusting your lifestyle to accommodate these responsibilities. And in order to survive the physical, emotional, and mental toll of living as an adult, you must learn to be mature.

How to be mature: 12 pieces of advice to transform your life

Being mature gives you more perspective in dealing with any challenges you may encounter. It is an important life skill cultivated by both your experiences and mistakes. If you still linger in the tail end of youthful immaturity, try to learn maturity early with these tips.

#1 Listen to advice. You are not as knowledgeable about life as you might think. This is not asking you to follow all advice but to listen to advice. Sure, not all the advice that people give you may work on your problem. But it gives you the idea on how they managed to deal with their own problems in their own way.

Advice, especially coming from people older than you, is tried and tested by their experience. However, it is important to note that when it comes to decision-making, you have the final call. Use the advice given to you to visualize scenarios and from there, work your way to a decision you are comfortable with. [Read: How to succeed in life – All you ever need to know]

#2 Continue to expand your knowledge and skills. When it comes to knowing how to be mature, you need to remember that learning does not end at school. There are a lot of ideas and pursuits that you discover once you get out in the real world. Learning every bit of information and skill that comes your way no matter how superficial gives you an edge in dealing with future challenges you’ll encounter. So don’t shut yourself off from new information and life skills. [Read: How to overcome the things that keep you stuck]

#3 Learn how to compromise. Learning how to compromise is the true mark of maturity. To compromise is to recognize that you won’t be able to move forward if you don’t make small personal sacrifices. It recognizes the importance of the common good over personal bias or pride. You find that learning compromise is particularly useful when dealing with interpersonal problems and decision making.

#4 Learn how to apologize. It won’t hurt to apologize for a mistake. And most people fail to recognize the power of the gesture. People are often called immature because they don’t want to admit a mistake due to their misplaced sense of pride.

Just imagine if all people were like this, then society degenerates into chaos, and humanity would have achieved nothing. What these people don’t know is that there’s nothing degrading about apologizing. In fact, admitting to one’s mistake is an admirable trait and is a mark of someone with a superior character compared to others. [Read: 15 guidelines you need to follow if you want to forgive and forget]

#5 Take responsibility for your mistakes. If you made a mistake, apologize for it, and come up with a solution in order to correct that mistake. Taking responsibility teaches you a great deal on how to recover from failures and in the process, one learns from the mistake instead of getting discouraged by it. Also, taking responsibility signals you consider the people around you, particularly those directly affected by your mistake. [Read: 7 reasons why empathy is important in a relationship]

#6 Plan for the future and don’t settle for short-term gratification. It is easy to fall for the YOLO bandwagon nowadays, but it’s still wiser to prepare for the future rather than only thinking about what would be fun on this day and the next. After all, you never know when the hard times will strike, so it’s better to have a safety net prepared for it when it comes.

Planning for the future isn’t just being financially secure with savings in investments, but doing activities that help you accomplish goals rather than doing stuff that’s fun drains your finances. [Read: 12 life questions to help you visualise your future]

#7 Be open-minded. Being open-minded means suspending pre-existing biases before judging it to be good or bad. It also entails knowing the right information and the supporting facts about something before making an impression. Being stuck with preconceived notions and biases hinders progress and causes interpersonal conflict in the future.

#8 Don’t engage in gossip but engage in a mature intellectual discourse. Gossip is unproductive and distasteful to say the least. You get nothing from it and you hurt people by it. Mature people talk about ideas instead of people. With a proper intellectual discourse, you learn something useful compared to inane gossip. [Read: The 7 big clues to identify an emotionally immature person]

#9 Know that you will not be able to please all the people around you and you don’t have to. Nobody is perfect and nobody owes anyone to change just to be well-liked by the people around them. If a person who hates you for who you are, keep in mind that there are more people willing to accept you for who you are. Don’t live your life according someone’s expectations. [Read: 13 clues to know if someone has emotional maturity]

#10 Get something done and see it to the end. If you want to know how to be mature, start by sticking to commitments you make. If you said that you will do the laundry today, then make sure you do it. If your long term goal won’t get accomplished in a single day, align all your activities and energy towards the pursuit of your goal. Seeing things to the end teaches a person to be creative in achieving their goals. Of course, it also makes you feel good to have an item ticked from your “to do” list even if it’s something superficial.

#11 Learn from your mistakes. It sounds cliché, but learning from your mistakes allows you to deal with future mistakes easily. Don’t allow mistakes to let you down, but instead learn to turn something negative into a positive learning experience. We screw up many times over the course of our lives. The person who deals with it easier, and possibly prevents doing the same mistake, is the one who learned from it. [Read: 5 life altering lessons you can learn from regrets]

#12 You can’t always get what you want. We are often disappointed if we fail to get something we desired for so long. If we let that disappointment linger, it turns into bitterness and resentment. Consequently, bitterness and resentment make us do stupid things like hate and blame people giving us a negative outlook of the world.

There are two ways to deal with this: if it’s not for you, then let it go and focus on other things. However, if you want it so badly, try again and persevere until you get it. But the main lesson that maturity requires is that people should learn when to stop and let go.

[Read: 25 memorable life lessons to perfect your life]

People get older at the same rate but not all develop maturity at the same time. Being a true adult is not defined by age but with maturity. Understanding how to be mature is that needed trait to make “adulting” easier.

The post How to Be Mature: A Guide to Grow Up and Face Life like an Adult is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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10 Communication Techniques to Finally Get Them to Open Up to You

It’s not easy getting someone to talk to you. But open communication is vital in relationships. Here are some communication techniques that can help.

You know how important communication is in a relationship. Without it, your relationship won’t last. You’ll have a number of different problems all based on the fact that you lack the necessary communication techniques to make your relationship work. Luckily, those methods can be learned.

But it won’t be without effort. Relationships are hard work and a lot of that work is in the communication. You have to be willing to work on talking to each other. That also means discussing the hard things, too, like your need for more in bed or your lack of feeling cared about.

Too many relationships end because of bad communication

And the worst part about this is the fact that it can be prevented. Bad communication in relationships can be fixed. You really don’t have to sit there and be stuck with so many problems that can be solved by just sitting down and talking to each other.

If you don’t talk about your problems, they just pile up. And the more issues you have swept under the rug, the more you’ll trip over them. You won’t be able to move past those problems after a certain point and that’s when the relationship goes sour. [Read: 9 signs you subconsciously want to end your relationship]

Communication techniques that can actually get your partner to open up

Sometimes the lack of communication isn’t just your fault. Honestly, it takes two to have a conversation. But sometimes one person can make it a bit harder on the other who’s trying to get the ball rolling.

If your significant other just won’t open up, it’s a problem. Here are some communication techniques you can use to finally get them to talk about their issues.

#1 Never be accusatory. If you go into your discussion with this kind of attitude, it’ll quickly form into a fight. And when someone is arguing, they feel attacked. If you make your partner feel attacked every time you want to work something out, you’ll never get anywhere.

People who feel like they’re being blamed for something immediately get on the defensive. That means you won’t be able to talk anything through because they’ll close themselves off to protect themselves from hurt. Stay calm and you’ll have a much better conversation. [Read: 9 ways playing the victim makes your life worse]

#2 Start with how you’re feeling. If you really want your partner to pay attention, start the conversation with how you’re feeling. This is one of the most important communication techniques and is crucial because if you immediately begin with their faults, they’ll stop listening.

Nobody wants to hear about all they’re doing wrong. However, if you talk about how you’re upset, they’ll want to listen to why. They care about you. That means they care about your happiness and if you’re not happy, they’ll want to know why.

#3 Make it a regular thing. Just get into the habit of talking to each other. You really have to just do it. Every single day, sit down and talk about your day. Then discuss any issues you might have. It can seem weird at first, but you’ll get the hang of it.

You can even just mention how you’re a little bummed about the way they just blew you off when you asked a question. Even small things should be discussed and if you make this a regular part of your relationship, your partner will just open up automatically after a while. [Read: 16 silly bad habits that can ruin your relationship]

#4 Ask a lot of questions. If you have a significant other who just won’t open up to you on their own, you’ll need to utilize questions. Just ask a lot of them. You can simply start with asking about their day and go a little deeper.

Ask if they’re happy in your relationship. Talk about what they think about your sex life. It’s easier to get them to talk if they’re prompted first. Plus, by the time they figure out what you’re doing, they’ll have already dished a bunch of information you’ll find useful.

#5 Keep your tone light. You can have serious conversations about how you’re unhappy without a harsh tone. Remaining calm and even happy will help your odds of getting your partner to talk more.

When you’re in a good mood, they don’t sense anything serious, even if the topic gets there. You’re more likely to get an honest response out of them this way. Keep the tone light and you’ll have a lot more luck. [Read: How to get someone to open up to you so you can really connect]

#6 Be honest. Just keep things open and honest. Don’t lie just to get your partner to talk to you. If you just talk about how you’re feeling and what you want to talk about, they’ll be more grateful than if you lied. Plus, if you’re being open and honest, they’ll feel the need to be the same.

#7 Share your vulnerabilities. You have to be vulnerable in a relationship. Opening yourself up will help your partner see that it’s okay to do so. You grow a lot closer and bond deeper the more you open up to each other.

Therefore, you can help your partner by implementing one of the best communication techniques of being vulnerable. Talk about your fears for your relationship or even things you’re scared of in general. You’ll see how much it’ll help them show you how they really feel. [Read: 12 great reasons to be open and vulnerable]

#8 Ask if they understand. If you really want to make sure your communication is effective, then ask if they understand where you’re coming from. Oftentimes, your partner might not even get it but they’ll agree anyways.

If you ask if they understand, they’re more likely to give you an honest answer. They might say no. That not only tells you that you have to be more specific when explaining stuff, it’ll allow you to take the time to make sure they get it.

#9 Don’t try to talk when they’re busy. If they’re busy or running late or not in a good place to sit down and discuss things, then don’t try. A lot of issues arise when you try to talk about sensitive matters at the wrong time. Make sure they’re calmed down and relaxed first. [Read: What’s pillow talk and how can you make it better?]

#10 Know that it’ll take time to make it effective. It won’t happen right away. If you’re not good at communicating now, you’ll have to work up to it. The great thing is that it will get better. You just have to work at it every day and make sure your partner is willing to work with you.

[Read: A guide for effective communication in relationships]

Being able to talk to your partner and discuss your relationship woes is really important. Having some communication techniques up your sleeve will only make the process easier.

The post 10 Communication Techniques to Finally Get Them to Open Up to You is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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There Are No (Good) Marriage Shortcuts

I like shortcuts. I like those back streets that get me somewhere faster. I like keyboard shortcuts that do things faster or call up a program. 

However, I’ve learned that marriage shortcuts are a snare and delusion. Relationships take time and effort, and shortcuts don’t accomplish the same things as you get from investing the time and effort. To put it another way, you can’t microwave your marriage!

If you want a good marriage, you must be all about giving it the time and energy that requires. 

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Financial Goal Setting With Your Spouse

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Patty Moore of Working Mother Life.

For many couples, money is a major source of tension within a relationship.

In fact, in a 2017 survey, 49 percent of all respondents considered money to be the most critical and stressful factor in their relationship. Undoubtedly, problems with money can cause strain in a relationship. From arguing over having too little money to how money is spent, finances can play a major role in the health of a relationship.

That is why it is so critical for couples to work together and communicate in order to effectively work together as partners and to reach their financial goals. Talking openly and honestly about finances can not only help couples avoid many of the most common relationship stressors, but it can also help them plan for the future.

By working together to set financial goals, couples can achieve more by working in concert — instead of against each other. Here are some tips on how you can set financial goals with your spouse.

Make a List of Your Goals

The first step in setting financial goals is to actually have financial goals in mind. Perhaps you want to retire early, to move out of the city and into the country, or even to change careers. Having each partner make a list individually of his or her goals for the coming year can help define what is important to him or her.

This list can include anything from practical ideas, such as having more money in an emergency fund, to more exotic goals, like taking a round-the- world trip. The key is that you are spending time privately to figure out where you want to be financially, so that you can then work with your partner to make a joint plan.

Set Aside Time to Talk

Once you each come up with a list of your individual financial goals, sit down and share your lists and talk to each other about where your lists differ — and where they are the same. If you have a lot of common ground, such as a shared desire to put as much money into retirement savings as possible, that is fantastic — you are well on your way to a harmonious relationship, at least in terms of financial goals!

If you find that your lists are wildly divergent when it comes to financial priorities, you may have more work to do. For example, if your partner wants to save money for what you think is an unnecessary kitchen renovation while you want to put aside more money for an emergency fund, you will likely have to communicate more to determine how to come to a middle ground on
this matter.

Combine and Prioritize

Once you have talked out your individual lists, combine your individual lists into one joint list. In doing this, make sure that you order your list in terms of what is most important to you as a couple, such as paying off all of your debt. The key here is to work together to decide what is most important to you, rather than having one partner decide for both what is the top priority.

Because both partners will be working on the goal, it is critical that each buys into it in order for it be successful.

So work as a team to come up with a ranking that works for you. Perhaps you can focus on paying off student loan debt as a top priority, and then move onto saving for a new car or big trip or other goal as an incentive working towards reaching the first goal. By coming together to set financial goals for 2018, you can avoid many of the disagreements over money that many
couples have.

Create a Spending Plan Together

In order to reach your goals, you will need to have a budget or a spending plan that is realistic and based on your income and expenses. Sit down with your partner and work through the details of your budget, examining items such as your current monthly income and expenses.

Working collaboratively with your significant other, decide how you can tweak your budget to reach your financial goals in 2018.

For example, you might be able to cut certain costs, like cable or eating out, in order to make extra payments on debt or put money into a vacation fund. By deciding on this plan together, you will be better able to make it a reality — and there will be a lower risk that one partner will undermine the goals.

Patty Moore started blogging when she got the idea for Working Mother Life, her personal finance blog. Check it out to learn more about her journey as a single mom.

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Loving Someone with Depression: Why It’s Not Your Job to Fix Them

Loving someone with depression can strip you of your own joy. You can’t save them. Only they can save themselves, it isn’t your fault they’re sad.

For most of us, when in a relationship, you want to make your partner happy. In fact, you thrive on being with someone who not only fulfills you but that you make their life better too. Loving someone with depression is not an easy thing. It isn’t just tough on them—it takes a toll on you.

We all go through times in our lives where things aren’t so great, we get into a funk, or we just don’t feel happy. But, if you live with someone who can’t seem to break out of that rut and it is more habitual and more than feeling a little down, it also robs you of your happiness. [Read: 18 emotions you shouldn’t feel in a healthy relationship]

Loving someone with depression isn’t what you might think

The hardest part about loving someone with depression is you want to get them out of it. You think that if you love harder, make them happier, are nicer to them, or make their life easier, they’ll snap out of it, and you walk into the sunset together. But, truthfully, depression has nothing to do with you and you can’t solve it.

For someone depressed, the only one who can save them from it is themselves. If you are with someone who shows signs of depression, it is important to try to get them the help they need. But, don’t negate what you need or find yourself in the same misery to try to help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.

Depression isn’t just about feelings or experiences. For many, it is a chemical imbalance that starts with brain chemistry. That can’t be fixed by your smiles, your enthusiasm, or you continually trying to make them happy. It is true that the only one who makes you happy is you. Sure, other people pick you up once in a while, but you can’t keep carrying the weight of your partner if they are truly depressed.

#1 Get them help. One of the hardest things to get someone with depression to do is to admit they have a problem. No one likes to admit they need help, especially not the depressed person.

You can’t make them see a therapist or get an evaluation, but suggest it to them without fear of reprisal. If you keep quiet and don’t state the obvious, you do both of you a disservice.

If they need more help than you can supply, try to get them to see it. Promise to be there to help out if they are willing to help themselves. [Read: How to know if your relationship is toxic so you can get out fast]

#2 Don’t lose yourself. When you love someone with depression, you want to solve it for them. You think if you just make things light, happy, and easy for them, their problems will be solved. But, the more you try to make them happy, the unhappier you become.

Because, for all your efforts, you likely get no reward. That has most people in love with someone with depression feeling like a continual failure. We all like to think if we do enough, we make our partners happy.

But, the only one who makes you happy is you. And, if your loved one is depressed, you can give them the world, and they still won’t enjoy it. It isn’t your fault. You aren’t to blame. Don’t lose yourself trying to save them. It won’t work, you just lose yourself in it. [Read: Stand up for yourself and get what you want from your relationship]

#3 Don’t become an enabler. Sometimes we stay with people we love because we feel like we must be the martyr or they won’t be able to exist without us. If you are both miserable and can’t seem to pick them out of their depression, you don’t do them any favors.

Often our best efforts become nothing more than enabling. If you love someone with depression, sometimes you give them an ultimatum to get help, or you won’t watch it anymore. You can’t fear what they will do or feel like you are ditching out when they need you most.

If you let things go the way they are, you enable them not to get the help they need or to see what is really going on. The best way to love someone with depression is to not continue playing along. It keeps you BOTH stuck. [Read: 25 clues to know if relationship therapy will help]

#4 Get other family members or friends involved. It is easy for your partner to put the blame back on you or to ignore your requests that they seek help. You likely aren’t the only one seeing the decline in their mental status.

If you can’t talk some sense into them, there is safety and power in numbers. If you truly think your partner is depressed, approach a close family member or friend confidentially and enlist some help. Sometimes it takes more than just one to help turn things around.

If it isn’t coming from you, it might be heard differently. That does not mean to call around announcing the problem, that leads to shame, and it isn’t productive. But, do find those people who your significant other values and enlist their help when possible. [Read: 25 important questions to ask your significant other]

#5 Stop blaming yourself. Loving someone with depression can be one of the biggest knocks to your self-esteem and what you think of yourself. If you can’t make the person you love most happy, what does that say about you?

It says you care enough to continue to try. Don’t take the onus of someone else’s happiness on you. [Read: 15 revealing truths about feeling alone in a relationship]

#6 Stop letting it rob you of your happiness. I know the feeling. You walk in the room or they do, and even if you have a good day or are on cloud nine, one look from them reminds you “oh yeah, we aren’t happy.”

Happiness becomes a team effort. If you find you lose your joy because they suck away your happiness, then love them or not, it is time to get out. If they don’t want to take steps to change, don’t stick around and lose the joy you have in life.

That saying, “Life is too short” is true. If you don’t walk, I guarantee you that your smile will be squashed for a lifetime. If they aren’t willing to seek help, the only one changing will be you. You shouldn’t live that way, love or not.

When we are in a relationship, we want to make the people we love happy. But, for a person depressed, nothing makes them happy. It isn’t your fault they aren’t joyous, but it becomes your fault if you continue to enable them to stay stuck.

Not only do you have to end the cycle of depression for their good, but you have to for your own. No one should live unhappy all the time, not them and not you. Try to convince your partner to get the help they need. If they won’t, don’t stay out of guilt or play the martyr, it isn’t your battle.

[Read: Is it ever worth dating someone with depression?]

Loving someone with depression means you help them fight it, not you fighting it for them. Unfortunately, the harder you try to fight for them, the more you begin to morph into their misery.

The post Loving Someone with Depression: Why It’s Not Your Job to Fix Them is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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How to Communicate in a Relationship: 14 Steps to a Better Love

The old saying “communication is key” is not wrong. But it’s a lot easier to tell someone how to communicate in a relationship than to actually do it.

Many of us confuse communication with having a conversation. Sure, talking to someone is basic communication, but just because you’re talking doesn’t mean you express your feelings nor does it mean that the other person truly understands what you say. Learning how to communicate in a relationship is what makes it work or where it all falls apart.

So, yes, communication is key, but what we really mean is effective communication is key.

How to communicate in a relationship

All of us who’ve experienced problems in our relationships *not just romantic* had issues with communication. Sometimes, we’re too scared to tell people how we feel or we don’t want to cause an issue, so we brush it to the side. We think by ignoring the problem it will just go away. In most cases it only gets worse, usually resulting with someone blowing up in an angry rage.

You never want to let a situation get to that point, especially when you could have easily solved it just by expressing your feelings. Shitty communication skills not only affect your intimate relationships but also your surrounding relationships with friends and co-workers. If you want to know how to communicate in a relationship the right way, keep these things in mind.

#1 Stop talking and listen. We love to talk, almost to the point where we really don’t care if someone listens or not. But if you want to improve your communication, you must get out of your head and actively listen to your partner. Expressing your feelings is one thing, but if you don’t listen to their needs, you will not be able to reciprocate. [Read: Do you love talking and hate listening?]

#2 You’re going to have to open up. This is the hard part for many of us. No one wants to become vulnerable, even though it’s perfectly healthy. Many of us think we’re “weak” for opening up to someone else and becoming vulnerable. How else will you express your feelings if you’re not honest with your partner? [Read: Steps to become more emotionally available for lasting love]

#3 Don’t assume anything. Don’t assume that your partner feels this or thinks that. If you start assuming how they feel, you actually prevent proper communication from occurring. You know the saying, “When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me.” A truer phrase has never been spoken. Throw your assumptions out the window because they’re not going to help you one bit.

#4 When talking, use “I.” This is really the basics of effective communication. When you speak about your feelings, always use “I” statements. Don’t say “you.” This is accusatory and easily takes the discussion down a different, unpleasant road. So, for example, don’t say, “You never wash the dishes,” instead, say, “I feel annoyed when you don’t wash the dishes after saying you will.”

#5 You say a lot through body language. We communicate mostly through body language, shockingly. So, when you sit down to talk about your feelings, a frown on your face with your arms crossed isn’t giving off great vibes. Try to maintain an open and neutral position, one that doesn’t give off defensive or aggressive energy. [Read: 23 dos and don’ts that make all the difference in a relationship argument]

#6 Walk the talk. Everyone says they’re going to change and be a better person. Hell, even I’ve said it 100 times. But what really makes the difference is when you actually do it. If you don’t follow through with your words, how can you improve your communication skills with your partner? If you say you’re going to work on your anger, actually take the steps necessary to do so.

#7 It’s a two-way street. The only way to improve your communication is if both people are fully invested in it. If your partner is already working on their communication skills, you need to step up and meet them halfway. This won’t work if only one person does all the work.

#8 No texting. If you’re upset about something, sure, you can text them. However, it’s very easy to miscommunicate your feelings via text. The other person can’t hear your tone of voice or see your facial expression behind a text message. This is why you need to save these conversations for in-person talks, especially when you’re trying to understand how to communicate in a relationship in the best way possible. Yes, I know it’s easier to sit behind your phone, but it causes more bad than good.

#9 You don’t have to solve a problem right away. We usually feel that when we have a disagreement with someone, it needs to be solved right away. Of course, we want the problem solved now. It saves us hours of awkward encounters in the kitchen.

But not all arguments or disagreements need to be solved right away. Sometimes, if it was really heated, you’re better off sleeping on it and then discussing it the next day. That way, you both had space and can now effectively communicate. [Read: 15 ways to resolve conflict without the drama]

#10 Keep the emotions to a minimum. Okay, you do need to express your emotions, however, you want to express them with minimal emotion. If you cry or yell, you’re going to have a harder time truly communicating how you feel. Also, your partner will not be actively listening if you’re sobbing in front of them. Staying as rational as possible gives you the best outcome.

#11 Communicating isn’t a competition. The point of communicating isn’t about proving that you’re right and they’re wrong. It’s based on empathy and compromising. If you go into a discussion solely focusing on winning the debate. Well, you’re not going to get far. This isn’t a 100-meter dash. [Read: How to be a better listener in your relationship]

#12 Timing. If you want to sit and talk with your partner about an issue that really bothers you, pick the proper time and place. Don’t do it an hour before their final university exam or the day after their grandfather died. Choose a quiet place, preferably not in public, and choose a moment where you both are emotionally neutral.

#13 Try to keep it relaxed. Sometimes, communicating our emotions can be quite stressful and emotional. There’s nothing wrong with throwing in some humor to help you relax and lighten the atmosphere. However, don’t make the conversation turn into a comedy hour. It distracts from the main objective. [Read: The guide to find your zone of calm perfection]

#14 Get a professional involved. If you experience problems applying these tips to your relationship, then consider seeking professional advice. Going to a therapist is a great option as they help provide you with the tools needed to start a conversation with your partner. Yes, you can read this feature and understand it, but putting it into practice can be a challenge.

[Read: The 10 telling signs you need relationship counseling]

Now that you know the 14 ways for how to communicate in a relationship, the only thing I can tell you is that you better get on it. Your communication skills aren’t going to get better on their own, so better get to work!

The post How to Communicate in a Relationship: 14 Steps to a Better Love is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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How to Tell if He Loves You: 15 Actions that Reveal His Feelings

You won’t always be able to know how to tell if he loves you. Sure, he can say it, but does that make it true? Actions speak louder than words.

It’s not always enough to hear a person tell you they love you. They’re just words. Anyone can say them, really. What you really need to know is how to tell if he loves you through his actions. Does he do things that support his words?

And what if he hasn’t said them yet? You still want to know how he feels about you even though the words haven’t come out of his mouth. There are a lot of ways to know whether or not a guy loves you just by what he does when he’s around you.

Don’t always trust the things people say

There are far too many people out there who can use words to get what they want. They’ll manipulate you just by the things they say and this can harm you down the road. It’s great if a guy confesses his love to you but never let that mean anything to you unless his actions back up those words.

Otherwise, you might end up doing something you might regret just because you think someone really loves you when they don’t. So just be careful with what you trust. Make sure someone’s actions always match their words before trusting them. [Read: Be careful who you trust and beware of backstabbers]

How to tell if he loves you through the things he does daily

If you really want to be able to tell if a guy loves you, you’ll need to pay attention to the little things. Here’s how to tell if he loves you through only his actions. Watch closely and his true feelings will always come out.

#1 He supports you. This is probably the biggest thing to look out for. Does he support your dreams? If he’s not right on the sidelines cheering on your success and encouraging you when you feel down, then he doesn’t truly love you. Those actions are easily one of the main things someone who loves you will do. [Read: 10 signs your partner is truly supportive of your goals]

#2 He listens to you. And I mean he really listens to you. He doesn’t just nod his head when you talk. He actually hears what you say and does something about it. It’s really easy to tell when a guy is just listening to you talk without actually absorbing anything. Make sure he remembers the things you say and that’ll show that he truly loves you.

#3 He shows you affection. This is just an obvious one. Someone who really loves you will show you affection from time to time. He’ll sneak you kisses or even just put his arm around you when you’re snuggled up on the couch. This affection, along with other signs on this list, shows he really loves you. [Read: Affection is the magic spark in long-term relationships]

#4 He does the little things. These little things can vary from person to person. Ultimately, if he is kind and sweet and does small things every day to show how much he cares, then he really does care.

These can be little things like doing your dishes, taking the trash out so you don’t have to, or even filling your car up with gas, seemingly small things that make your life a little bit brighter. Those are the things that show his love for you.

#5 He laughs at all your jokes. This is something you’ll notice when anyone likes you in general. However, in order to know how to tell if he loves you, just pay attention when you make jokes. Even the worst of jokes will get a laugh from him if he truly loves you. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]

#6 He smiles after kissing you. Not only is this really cute, but it also shows how happy you make him. And when you make him really happy, he’s bound to love you. If you notice this along with other signs that he loves you, you can believe it’s true.

#7 He brings you around his friends often. A guy who doesn’t want a future with you isn’t going to bring you around his friends all the time. If your man does and also actively works toward building a relationship with your friends, he definitely is in love with you.

Also, watch how he acts when he’s around you while his friends are there. Does he act the same and even affectionate toward you? If so, then he’s absolutely in love with you.

#8 He engages in PDA with you. A guy who loves you will want to show the world. He’ll engage in PDA with you and not care who sees him. A kiss and hug and even hand-holding or ass slapping are sure signs he’s in love with you. If he wasn’t, he wouldn’t go around doing that to you in public because he wouldn’t necessarily want people to see. [Read: 15 ways public displays of affection can save your relationship]

#9 He calls and texts to tell you exciting news. When something great happens in his life, you’ll be the first he wants to tell. That is, if he truly loves you. Does he call you up to tell you little exciting things that have happened throughout the day? If so, then he definitely loves you and wants to share his life with you.

#10 He calls and texts for no reason. On the flip side, he might also call and text for no reason at all. This is proof he’s in love with you because he just wants to be able to talk to you through the day. He just wants to keep in touch. There’s no reason for him wanting to be able to talk with you other than he just loves you. [Read: 30 signs he totally loves you]

#11 His gifts are meaningful. When he gives you gifts, they’re not pointless. They have a deeper meaning to them. Those gifts show how much he cares about you and how much he’s been paying attention.

#12 He gives you soft, sweet touches. These are very meaningful forms of affection. He’ll kiss your forehead or place a hand on your thigh as you’re sitting down together. They’re not erotic or meant to get you in the mood. They’re for the simple purpose of being in physical contact with you because it makes him feel good.

#13 He tries really hard to brighten your day. In order to learn how to tell if he loves you, you’ll have to learn how to tell when he’s trying to cheer you up. He’ll be the first person there to try and lift your spirits on a bad day. [Read: 11 simple ways to make each day more meaningful]

#14 He helps out when you’re stressed. This is different than trying to make you feel better because he’s actively trying to do things that’ll lessen your stress. Maybe he’ll clean your place up for you or do the chores you’re stressed about doing. When he lightens your load so you can relax, he loves you.

#15 He asks for your advice. This is a very subtle sign that he’s in love with you but it means a great deal. When he asks for your advice, he’s showing you how much he truly values your opinion. He wants you to know that he cares about what you think and that’s because he loves you.

[Read: Does he love me? 20 signs to read his mind]

Knowing how to tell if he loves you will save you some heartache down the road if he only says it, but doesn’t mean it. Now you’ll be able to tell just how he feels.

The post How to Tell if He Loves You: 15 Actions that Reveal His Feelings is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Article from: LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships, by Bella Pope

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