6 Dos And Donts For A First Date

There are many right and wrong things to do when you go on a date. Knowing what you should be focusing on and what you need to avoid on a first date can mean the difference between a second date and having someone that never calls you again. If you know what makes a perfect date, you can then go into a first date with confidence and self assurance. You will know what you are doing and what to expect. This limits the surprises that sometimes come up and can ruin a date.

1. Be On Time:

One very important thing that you should do when you are going on a first date is to make sure that you are on time. The fastest way to make a bad impression is to show up late. If you are late, your date will think that you do not care about them or that they are not important enough for you to be on time.
Another potential result is that your date may decide that they do not want to wait for you and will leave before you arrive. They say that the first impression is the lasting impression. Being on time for a date makes a great impression.

2. Put Your Date at Ease:

Do your best to make your date feel as comfortable as possible. Everyone gets very nervous when they go on a first date with someone. If you are making your date feel comfortable, you will also find that you are more relaxed and enjoy yourself much more during the date. Laughing at your date's jokes is one great way to make them feel that you are interested in them and it will also make them more comfortable.

3. Keep Conversation Alive:

Be interesting and keep the conversation alive. You do not what to show up for a date and then have nothing to say and nothing to ask all night. You should prepare yourself ahead of time and think of interesting topics and things that make good conversation.

4. Listen Sincerely:

Show a valid interest in what your date has to say. Pay attention when they are talking to you. Let them know that you care what they are saying. Practice your conversation skills ahead of time. This will help you prepare for the date.

5. Don't Talk About Yourself:

You do not want to talk about yourself all night. This is a turn off and is also rude. You do not want to come off as being conceited or stuck on yourself. Ask questions about your date. Give them a chance to talk. It is not all about you. If you do all the talking and do not let them get a word in, chances are it will be your only date with them.

6. No Talking About Past Relationships:

Do not talk about your past relationships. No one really wants to hear about your ex. They do not want to know what the good points and bad points were. This is a huge turn off and a guaranteed way to drastically reduce the chances for a second date. This is a new person and a new start. Focus on the date that you are with and start finding out about them.

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3 Simple Steps To Saving A Relationship

There is no question that being involved in a good relationship can be a wonderful and rewarding experience. You feel so happy, so content, so fulfilled that you can't ask for more. On the other hand, being involved in a relationship that you know is headed for trouble, or about to end can be devastating and shocking to think about.
There is a good chance that you will feel all alone, sad or possibly act in an irrational manner. So, if you find your previously good relationship is now in trouble, then you have to take action right away and do what you can to keep your love alive and to get your relationship back on track. In reality, there's no excuse for not trying to make things better because there are tons of resources readily available to help you patch things up. If your relationship is at a point that it needs saving, then these tips will help you to get started:

1. Identify The Problem

The first step in saving any relationship is finding out what the root cause of the problem is. Every relationship will have its own fair share of problems. The only difference is how severe they are, and how willing each partner is in fixing or not being irritated by them. However, even small problems can lead to a break up if one partner isn't aware of their impact on the other. That's why it is so important to find out what those problems are in your relationship. After all, you can't fix something if you don't know its broken.

2. Communicate! Communicate! Communicate!

It takes two people for there to be true love. While it may not always be easy, this means you need to talk over the problems you have found. Your significant other may also have concerns they would like to share. Do not argue. Instead, be appreciative that these things are being brought to your attention, and that it's the only way to work toward a happy solution. It doesn't matter if you've been seeing each other for a few weeks, or a few years. Good communication is critical at every point in healthy relationships.

3. Love At The Forefront.

Love is what holds everything together. Sometimes it takes work to prevent feelings of dislike from creeping in and taking hold. Do whatever you can to give love its proper place at the forefront of your relationship. When all is said and done, love is a powerful force that can turn the most sour relationships into wonderful, happy ones. As long as there is even a hint of love, it will be possible to turn things around for the better.
There is no doubt that it's completely possible to save a relationship. Make note of the tips mentioned above and use them. While you can't force somebody to stay with you, knowing how to make things better will increase the odds that they will want to stay. Wouldn't you rather stay in a loving relationship than a negative one? Who wouldn't?

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What First Turned Me On about My Husband

What First Turned Me On about My Husband



I’m going to be seriously honest right now. I’ve had a crazy last week, in which I shifted the family schedule to fall school hours, worked grueling hours to meet a project deadline, and posted nothing here. In September, I have an online course I’m teaching (not about marriage), a local conference I’m chairing, and plans for a terrific giveaway for Hot, Holy, and Humorous (which I will tell you about next time) that requires some additional planning and coordination.

I’m stressed.

On top of that, my husband is stressed, for all of his own reasons. So yesterday, despite our marriage being a happy one overall, we had a bad night. Now believe me when I say that we are so far down the road from where we once were, it’s like we traveled to a different planet. We had an argument, but I’m not the least bit worried about us. We’re in love, committed, and will be fine.
But I’ve been feeling sullen all day, and a little guilty about coming on my blog and saying anything that makes me sound like I know exactly what I’m doing in marriage.

After being absent for too long, though, I wanted to write something.
So I started to think about my husband. Not the negative stuff I was feeling last night or the aftermath hurt stuck in my gut. Rather, I’ve learned enough about marriage to know that was a blip and there are some really great reasons to love the guy I chose.

Memories can be a wonderful thing in this regard. Because I mulled all the way back to the things my husband first did to attract me to him. What flipped that switch to awaken my love for him? What made me eager to hold his hand, to feel his kiss, to say I do and get the other fabulous stuff? Why did I find him so appealing, so engaging, so — I’ll just say it — sexy? 
Practicing optimism about and appreciation for our spouses fuels a better attitude, a hopeful outlook, and a bit of swooning, if we do it right. So I’m going to share my reasons, and I’m hoping you’ll share yours in the comments.

He bought me an ice cube tray.

I bet you never imagined that would be the first thing I’d say. But it’s true! Spock (hubby’s nickname) and I lived in the same apartment complex, and we discussed how the apartments did not provide a sufficient number of ice cube trays. A day or two later, my guy knocked on my door holding two ice cube trays he’d picked up for me at Walmart. And yeah, that little gesture warmed my heart. Because it said: I thought about you when I was nowhere near you. You were on my mind.
To this day, I love finding out that my husband thought about me when he was in other places or with other people. It makes my heart flutter to hear from co-workers that “he talks about you all the time” or to discover he bought my favorite chocolate at the store. The truth is, most married people don’t spend the majority of their day together. And we don’t really know what’s happening in our spouse’s heads, so those little reminders that say, You were on my mind, can keep us feeling connected even when we’re apart.

He listened to me.

I have a history degree, and my primary focus was church history. I recall sitting on his apartment couch when we were first dating and him listening to me talk about the Reformation and Restoration Movements. He leaned in as I spoke, he asked questions that showed he was interested, and he indicated that he was impressed with my knowledge. Want to know what that moment did to my pulse?
Never mind that the subject was John Calvin or Alexander Campbell, the point is he made me feel like he wanted to be with me that moment, and the next moment, and the next. I wasn’t just a pair of lips or a pair of good legs hanging out with him. I could converse with this guy about deep things, and he respected my opinion — he liked me.

These days we often have some of our best lovemaking after a profound discussion on something completely unrelated. We might talk about current events or spiritual issues or personal challenges we each face, and the next thing I know we’re smooching and heading to the bedroom. Guess those thoughtful exchanges are a turn-on.

He touched me, often and easily.

In case you’re familiar with the Five Love Languages theory from Gary Chapman, one of the top two ways I feel loved is physical touch. It’s strange because I’m not touchy-feely with most people. Maybe it’s my introversion that keeps that circle fairly small. However, when Spock and I started dating, he seamlessly found ways to touch me.
He reached for my hand when we walked somewhere or when we rode in the car. He stood shoulder-to-shoulder with me in church and held a single hymnal for both of us. He put his arm around me when we sat on the couch to watch the World Series (1992, every single game). Something about that constant proximity made me feel protected, cherished, desired. And I desired him back.
I still adore holding his hand, although we also get to do things now like cuddling in bed, sharing a shower, and naked body massages. All that physical touch heightens my senses and arouses my libido. It also reminds me that we share something special, from the little goodbye pecks to the big sexual climaxes.

He made me laugh.

My husband’s humor can be dry. Like drought-in-summer dry. One time we were sitting together at a church group event, and he murmured something in response to what the speaker said. I don’t even remember what it was, but it cracked me up. And others around us didn’t get it. I was the one who understood and appreciated his humor.

Turned out, he was also willing to be silly, which I’m all for in life. Life is serious enough that we don’t need to killjoy our way through it, but find reasons to smile. Spock and I engaged in word play, dorky dance moves, and watching comedy films. I laughed at his jokes, and we laughed with each other.

I still think that makes him sexy. And it makes our marriage bed more enjoyable that we can laugh together. Surveys consistently show that women are drawn to a man with a great sense of humor. We enjoy being around someone who makes us smile — is it really surprising that it’s a turn-on too?

Yep, what first turned me on about my husband is what still turns me on about my husband. And after sharing all that, I’m feeling incredibly blessed to have such a terrific, sexy man for my husband.

By Holy & Humorous by J

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5 Things You Should Never Feel Like You Have To Sacrifice In A Relationship

5 Things You Should Never Feel Like You Have To Sacrifice In A Relationship

My mother always said, “Someone will come along who likes you for you, even though you’re weird.”
Well, it turns out mother knows best.
So before you jump into your next relationship, do some introspecting. Pick out all the things you love most about yourself and the things that make you happiest and hold them close, even if they are a little weird.
Relationships should be a source of growth, positivity and love. What they shouldn’t do is change who you are fundamentally (especially when you are so dope).
To start, here are five things you should never give up for a relationship:

Your Friends

There is never a point in a relationship when you should have to prove why your clique is your clique.
It’s simple: They are your people.
That’s all your significant other should need to know. Don’t ever feel the need to justify why your friends are your friends.
Your partner should accept them simply because they make you laugh, know all of your stories, love you unconditionally and always have your back. If they’re friends with you, they have to be pretty cool anyway, right?
At the end of the day, your friends are the family you chose for yourself. It shouldn’t really matter why you picked them.

Your Interests

You like Nickelback? Awesome. You watch the History Channel for fun? Cool.
Don’t even think about letting your partner make you think less of yourself for your interests.What you likes make you, well, you. Drop the person who tells you to change what brings you joy, what helps you smile and what makes you giggle until you tear up.
These are the pieces of your personality that make you unique, interesting and worth loving. Of course, let your significant other show you new things and broaden your horizons, but don’t lose sight of who you are at your core.

Your Body

Do not ever change how you look solely for someone else’s benefit, regardless of your clothing size. Your significant other is in your life to love you for all that you are, not a fantasy version of you or the person you could be.
Your body is meant to be cherished and appreciated. If you want to change something about your appearance for your own personal happiness, then go for it, but never change a hair on your head or the size of your waist to mimic someone else’s ideal image of you.
If you are in the right relationship, your significant other shouldn’t wish for you to be different or sexier. They should already think you’re sexy as hell, because you are.

Your Voice

Now, this one is easy to lose without even realizing you’ve lost it.
Women tend to feel inherently guilty in their romantic relationships. We don’t want to make our partners mad or hurt their feelings. We feel that if we upset them, they might pack up and leave without looking back.
If they can’t deal with your thoughts, feelings and ideas, tell them to leave for good. Don’t stay silent just to make someone else happy. Speak up. Vocalize when your partner crosses a line or hurts your feelings. Say something when the sex isn’t stellar, and tell them what they can do to make you feel even sexier in the sheets.
Speak your mind whenever you feel you need to. If they are the right one, they’ll want to know all of the things running through your beautiful mind.

Your Dreams

Do you want to backpack through Thailand or quit your job and open a wine bar? Do it. Do you want to take a pole dancing class to make you feel sexy? Go for those dreams.
Don’t ever let someone tell you your dreams aren’t worth chasing. Your dreams shape who are and who you will become. They are the most intrinsic, unique pieces of you.
If your significant other really cares for you, they will want to be front and center to watch you achieve all of your goals… especially pole dancing.




 Article by Emily Brookshire:
5 Things You Should Never Feel Like You Have To Sacrifice In A Relationship


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