Successful Dating As You Grow Older

In most cases, once you have been introduced to a person you are able to handle the date and know what you are doing. Oftentimes, the initial meeting is the hardest part of starting any relationship. If you know how situations are different and changed as you grow older and meet new people will help you to understand what you will be up against when you are trying to meet someone and date.

As women get older, they have a higher chance of meeting people due to the fact that there is a much higher woman to men ratio for older women. The older the woman, the more competition they are going to have. At the age of 50, the odds are increased even higher and the competition goes up again.

As for men, as they age they have a much lower rate due to an increase in suicide and death. So, there are less men looking to meet women as age increases. It is well known that most often women outlive men. This makes the ratio of men to women different and more sided toward women with increase in age.


People sometimes choose to let their friends set them up for a date. There can be good and bad things with this situation. If it is a successful relationship, it is wonderful. However, it is much more common that it does not work out and then friends can become offended or feel like they are in the middle. They may very well have the best intentions, but you need to do some serious thinking before you decide to accept this date and their help that they are offering.

There are ways to increase your odds of finding the right person to be in your life. Look closely at yourself. What picture are you giving to others? How do they see you? This is very important to look at and figure out. Look carefully at yourself to find out if there are changes that you need to make in order to be more presentable and appealing to potential mates. It is imperative to make yourself as desirable as possible if you want the best odds of finding a partner.

Are you the type of person that starts conversations? Most often, this is the best way to meet a new person. Take the initiative and be the first to talk to someone. Create an open door of potential for a new friend or possibly more. In some cases, you have to take the initiative yourself and stick your neck out. Take the chance and talk to people to make sure that you can take advantage of every possible opportunity to meet someone that could potentially turn into a relationship.

Starting a conversation or talking to people does not have to be a complex task. It is very simple. Introduce yourself. Tell them your name. Comment about their outfit or what they are wearing. Tell them about something that you witnessed them doing and what you thought about it. It is simply a matter of talking and starting a conversation. You just need to open the door.

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Rebuilding Your Relationship To Rekindle The Passion

There comes a point in almost any successful relationship where things calm down and cool off. There is no longer a major spark between the partners. They get comfortable in their relationship and develop a routine. They no longer find as much time to spend together. Often, this is not due to a lack of desire between the couple. Most often it is the fact that life gets in the way. They may have children or careers to deal with. They are busy and just do not have the free time that they had when their relationship was in the beginning stages.

Most people realize this problem and they will eventually have a desire to change it. They want to get that spark back and reconnect with each other. No matter how strong that desire and want is however, they have to find ways to change it. If they cannot, then there is no way that things will change and in the end they could have a relationship that ends due to the needs not being met. There is nothing worse than knowing that there is a problem and doing nothing to change it or make it better. This is a self destructive pattern.

It is important to make time to spend with your partner. No matter how long you have been in a relationship, you should still go on dates and have personal time alone. Not only does this keep the relationship healthy, but it also protects your sanity. You are free to focus on nothing but, the other person. There are no kids to contend with and no outside interference.

Ideally, dates should be made at least once a month. Hire a babysitter ahead of time so that you are not stuck without anyone to watch the kids on the night of your date. You do not have to go out and do anything that costs a lot of money. It is more about spending time together than it is about what you do.

A simple walk in the park or picnic under the stars is very romantic. In some cases, you do not even have to go out. Find friends or family that the kids can spend the night with. Then, have a candlelit dinner with your partner. You could also cuddle up on the couch together and watch a movie. There are unending possibilities of what you can do for your date. Just set the dates and stick to them. It is all about follow through.

Spending time together is often all that is needed to put the spark back into a relationship. You will find that you are less stressed and that your bond is stronger. You begin to find time to be together again. You have that old desire. There is no longer a monotonous life that has taken over.

You begin to change your relationship and get it back to the way that it used to be. This can ensure that you are together for a very long time and that you are both happy.

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Interoffice Relationships Good Or Bad

There are often situations where people find that they are attracted to someone at work. This is not something that can be helped. We do not determine who we are going to be attracted to or fall in love with. However, there are certain things that need to be kept in mind and considered before entering into a relationship with a co-worker.

The first thing that you need to do is find out what your companies policy is on dating among co-workers. Read your employee manual and see what it says. If you cannot find information there, you may need to go to a supervisor for information. The only problem with this is that the person is going to wonder why you are asking. If interoffice relationships are forbidden, you could be putting yourself into a bad situation before you have ever done anything. You will be under the microscope just for asking. So, if you can find the information any other way, it is best to avoid going to higher ups.

As we cannot control our feelings and desires, there is really no way to avoid falling for a co-worker if that is what is meant to be. However, there are often risks and complications involved. You could end up losing your job once the relationship is out in the open. You could also have problems with other co-workers who may not approve of the relationship. Your boss could start treating you differently due to the fact that you are involved in a relationship within the office. There are numerous possible consequences of pursuing a relationship at work.

Talk with the person that you are interested in to determine what the best way to deal with the situation is. If you are both attracted to each other, you need to decide how to tell people. You will also want to discuss how you will handle any problems that arise. If there is a rule about not dating, you need to decide if the relationship is worth losing your job over. In some cases one person could switch to a different office or department. At other times, one person may need to quit their job in order to have their love and happiness. There are many possibilities and you both need to know how to deal with them before they come up.

Do not try to hide the relationship if you both decide it is what you want. You will often find that honesty is the best policy. If you are open and upfront with everyone from the beginning, you are more likely to get a more favorable response. If you try to hide it, then when it is found out, there could be much worse ramifications of your behavior and denial. Everyone needs to be made aware as soon as the relationship has begun. Tell your boss how you plan to deal with the relationship and the possible problems.

No matter what you do, it is important to avoid letting your relationship interfere with your work. This is the most common reason for a relationship to be frowned upon at work. It is also likely to result in negative repercussions. Keep work and personal life separate from each other at all costs.

Dating Exclusively Is It For You

Dating exclusively means that two people in a relationship do not spend time with other members of the opposite sex as anything more than friends. You are able to explain what you were doing when you are away from your mate without having done anything wrong or deceiving them. Your partner can unexpectedly stop by your home and you will welcome them with open arms.
You are always looking for ways and reasons to spend time with that special person in your life. You enjoy having your free time spent with them. Two people in an exclusive relationship communicate with each other and they know nearly everything that is going on in each others lives.
Exclusive dating is a very serious thing. It should not be taken lightly. Several things are important when making a decision to enter into an exclusive dating relationship with another person. There has to be an attraction between both people. Most often the couple has dated for months and love spending time together and being with each other. The couple has dated other people and they have both decided that they want to be with each other and not with anyone else. They want to potentially spend the rest of their lives together.
A decision to not date exclusively can have potentially negative effects. One partner in the relationship could be spending time with other single people that may not realize that there is a serious relationship between two people. These single people could end up trying to take your partner away from you and trying to start a relationship with them themselves. You will soon find yourself spending more and more time alone and you will not have that commitment and companionship as they move farther away from you.
It is essential to make sure that you spend time getting to know someone. Spend a great deal of time with a person that you are interested in. find out all that you can about them and do it in different situations. People often act differently when they are with their friends than when they are with their family or people that they work with. People that change and have different personalities based on the people that they are around often bring problems with them. This is a potentially destructible behavior and can ruin any kind of relationship that they have.
Exclusive dating is an informal commitment that is made in a relationship. This does not mean that there will be marriage or that they have even discussed the possibility of marriage. Simply put, it means that they have decided not to date other people and to only date one person. This is a joint decision that is made and is an agreement that they will get to know each other better through only dating each other and not others.
Exclusive dating brings about major changes in your life. You have someone that you answer to about your life. If you do not want to answer to someone about your life and what you do, then you do not want to be in an exclusive dating relationship. You will give up some of your independence that you have when you are single. This can be a very good thing if you are ready for the commitment and what is involved. You must be prepared for these changes.

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Ending Relationships And Getting Over Them

There are times when a relationship will end. There are many reasons that this occurs. There are also many different lengths of time that a relationship has gone on before it ends. Sometimes people will have been in a relationship for many years and other times they will have only been together for a few months. However, no matter how long the relationship has been established, there are still certain things that are true for every relationship that ends.
The end of a relationship will impact both people. They will both be hurt and have a wide range of emotions. No matter who is at fault or even if someone is at fault, it is going to change both parties. They will both be emotionally drained for a long period of time. They may not have any desire to be around anyone, even friends. Oftentimes a relationship that ends, whether good or bad, results in depression. Other times it leaves people angry and hostility becomes an issue for them for any length of time. They are blaming the other person or something has happened that ended the relationship that has made them angry. No matter what the situation is, the emotions have to be dealt with.
It is a very bad idea to try to jump into a new relationship right after a relationship has ended. However, many people do this. They have gotten used to having someone in their life. They miss having that and do not know what to do about it. So, they try to find another person to fill that void. However, this is a destructive pattern. It is also unfair to the other person that they are pulling into their negative pattern.
They are offering a false sense of themselves. They are pretending that they are in the relationship for the relationship. The other person has no idea that there is anything else going on. However, in most cases, the two people are not compatible with each other and they end up in a very bad situation.
They will not stay together and in time the relationship will completely deteriorate. The person that was using the relationship is now empty and alone once again and in most cases they are much more emotional and hurt than they were when they started.
The particular circumstances surrounding the relationship will factor into everything and determine how a relationship ends. If it was simply dating, then it will end easier than if it was a live in situation or if there were children involved. There are no specific rules about relationships and dating.
There are also no specific rules about how these relationships will end. Each person, each relationship, each life has its own dynamics and ideals. If a break up is mutual and simply due to the fact that the people are not compatible, it can be easier to end the relationship and keep things on good terms. If there are issues that have caused the relationship to deteriorate on the part of one person, then the relationship is much more likely to end in a bad way and with anger.

Dating After Divorce - Something Your Need To Know

Dating After Divorce Can Be Easy Or Difficult.  Many people have a difficult time getting back into the dating world after they have been divorced.

It is very possible to have a successful relationship after a divorce. Watch the video for more details.

3 Tips You Wish You Know Earlier Before You Go Into Any Type of Relationship

3 Tips You Wish You Know Earlier Before You Go Into Any Type of Relationship!

by: Cucan Pemo Publishin


If you are in a relationship right now, or are thinking of
going into one, there are 3 very important tips you should
know and questions you should ask yourself before you ever
get yourself into a relationship. This could save you from a
lot of heartache and pain when you are involved in a love
relationship.

(1) Your lover does not owe you your happiness, peace or joy.

Happiness is a state of mind we choose to have. All of your
happiness, and all of your suffering, are created by you and
they do not come from outside of you, or from others. Before
you go into any type of relationship, ask yourself these
questions: "Do I really, really, really know how to walk
away from disappointment and fear? Will I be able to find
the person that I am now even after I go into this
relationship and begin a new way of life?" In short, you
should not be dependent on your partner on your emotional
needs. You yourself are responsible for your own feelings
and creating positive experiences for both your partner and
you whenever you are together.

(2) Love your partner for who they are.
No one in this world is perfect. One day you will find your
partner doing certain things or saying certain things that
will hurt you, disappoint you or anger you. Before you go
into any type of relationship, you have to ask yourself:
"Will I be able to love my partner for who they are. If I am
unhappy or angry with something they have said or done, will
I be able to recognize my unhappiness or anger as against
their speech, actions and behavior, and not against their
persons?"

(3) Will I be able to love myself as much as I love my partner?

If you cannot love yourself, how are you going to give love
to another? This is a mistake most people make when they go
into a relationship. They become over-obsessive with what
they can give to their partners and what they can do for
their partners. To ensure a fulfilling relationship, you
have to learn to take care of your own needs as well. A true
partner or lover is one who will make sure that you do not
become too dependent on them. You are responsible for your
own feelings and your own emotional needs too. You are a
beautiful being. So, take care of yourself, love yourself,
treat yourself to all the good things in life too, and do
the same to your partner. Very soon you will find true love
always coming your way without any effort on your part!

As always, if you are encountering problems in your
relationship, try to dissolve all of your problems in love.
And you'll be sure you are on your way to a peaceful and
fulfilling relationship!

---

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3 Simple Steps To Saving A Relationship

There is no question that being involved in a good relationship can be a wonderful and rewarding experience. You feel so happy, so content, so fulfilled that you can't ask for more. On the other hand, being involved in a relationship that you know is headed for trouble, or about to end can be devastating and shocking to think about.
There is a good chance that you will feel all alone, sad or possibly act in an irrational manner. So, if you find your previously good relationship is now in trouble, then you have to take action right away and do what you can to keep your love alive and to get your relationship back on track. In reality, there's no excuse for not trying to make things better because there are tons of resources readily available to help you patch things up. If your relationship is at a point that it needs saving, then these tips will help you to get started:

1. Identify The Problem

The first step in saving any relationship is finding out what the root cause of the problem is. Every relationship will have its own fair share of problems. The only difference is how severe they are, and how willing each partner is in fixing or not being irritated by them. However, even small problems can lead to a break up if one partner isn't aware of their impact on the other. That's why it is so important to find out what those problems are in your relationship. After all, you can't fix something if you don't know its broken.

2. Communicate! Communicate! Communicate!

It takes two people for there to be true love. While it may not always be easy, this means you need to talk over the problems you have found. Your significant other may also have concerns they would like to share. Do not argue. Instead, be appreciative that these things are being brought to your attention, and that it's the only way to work toward a happy solution. It doesn't matter if you've been seeing each other for a few weeks, or a few years. Good communication is critical at every point in healthy relationships.

3. Love At The Forefront.

Love is what holds everything together. Sometimes it takes work to prevent feelings of dislike from creeping in and taking hold. Do whatever you can to give love its proper place at the forefront of your relationship. When all is said and done, love is a powerful force that can turn the most sour relationships into wonderful, happy ones. As long as there is even a hint of love, it will be possible to turn things around for the better.
There is no doubt that it's completely possible to save a relationship. Make note of the tips mentioned above and use them. While you can't force somebody to stay with you, knowing how to make things better will increase the odds that they will want to stay. Wouldn't you rather stay in a loving relationship than a negative one? Who wouldn't?

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What First Turned Me On about My Husband

What First Turned Me On about My Husband



I’m going to be seriously honest right now. I’ve had a crazy last week, in which I shifted the family schedule to fall school hours, worked grueling hours to meet a project deadline, and posted nothing here. In September, I have an online course I’m teaching (not about marriage), a local conference I’m chairing, and plans for a terrific giveaway for Hot, Holy, and Humorous (which I will tell you about next time) that requires some additional planning and coordination.

I’m stressed.

On top of that, my husband is stressed, for all of his own reasons. So yesterday, despite our marriage being a happy one overall, we had a bad night. Now believe me when I say that we are so far down the road from where we once were, it’s like we traveled to a different planet. We had an argument, but I’m not the least bit worried about us. We’re in love, committed, and will be fine.
But I’ve been feeling sullen all day, and a little guilty about coming on my blog and saying anything that makes me sound like I know exactly what I’m doing in marriage.

After being absent for too long, though, I wanted to write something.
So I started to think about my husband. Not the negative stuff I was feeling last night or the aftermath hurt stuck in my gut. Rather, I’ve learned enough about marriage to know that was a blip and there are some really great reasons to love the guy I chose.

Memories can be a wonderful thing in this regard. Because I mulled all the way back to the things my husband first did to attract me to him. What flipped that switch to awaken my love for him? What made me eager to hold his hand, to feel his kiss, to say I do and get the other fabulous stuff? Why did I find him so appealing, so engaging, so — I’ll just say it — sexy? 
Practicing optimism about and appreciation for our spouses fuels a better attitude, a hopeful outlook, and a bit of swooning, if we do it right. So I’m going to share my reasons, and I’m hoping you’ll share yours in the comments.

He bought me an ice cube tray.

I bet you never imagined that would be the first thing I’d say. But it’s true! Spock (hubby’s nickname) and I lived in the same apartment complex, and we discussed how the apartments did not provide a sufficient number of ice cube trays. A day or two later, my guy knocked on my door holding two ice cube trays he’d picked up for me at Walmart. And yeah, that little gesture warmed my heart. Because it said: I thought about you when I was nowhere near you. You were on my mind.
To this day, I love finding out that my husband thought about me when he was in other places or with other people. It makes my heart flutter to hear from co-workers that “he talks about you all the time” or to discover he bought my favorite chocolate at the store. The truth is, most married people don’t spend the majority of their day together. And we don’t really know what’s happening in our spouse’s heads, so those little reminders that say, You were on my mind, can keep us feeling connected even when we’re apart.

He listened to me.

I have a history degree, and my primary focus was church history. I recall sitting on his apartment couch when we were first dating and him listening to me talk about the Reformation and Restoration Movements. He leaned in as I spoke, he asked questions that showed he was interested, and he indicated that he was impressed with my knowledge. Want to know what that moment did to my pulse?
Never mind that the subject was John Calvin or Alexander Campbell, the point is he made me feel like he wanted to be with me that moment, and the next moment, and the next. I wasn’t just a pair of lips or a pair of good legs hanging out with him. I could converse with this guy about deep things, and he respected my opinion — he liked me.

These days we often have some of our best lovemaking after a profound discussion on something completely unrelated. We might talk about current events or spiritual issues or personal challenges we each face, and the next thing I know we’re smooching and heading to the bedroom. Guess those thoughtful exchanges are a turn-on.

He touched me, often and easily.

In case you’re familiar with the Five Love Languages theory from Gary Chapman, one of the top two ways I feel loved is physical touch. It’s strange because I’m not touchy-feely with most people. Maybe it’s my introversion that keeps that circle fairly small. However, when Spock and I started dating, he seamlessly found ways to touch me.
He reached for my hand when we walked somewhere or when we rode in the car. He stood shoulder-to-shoulder with me in church and held a single hymnal for both of us. He put his arm around me when we sat on the couch to watch the World Series (1992, every single game). Something about that constant proximity made me feel protected, cherished, desired. And I desired him back.
I still adore holding his hand, although we also get to do things now like cuddling in bed, sharing a shower, and naked body massages. All that physical touch heightens my senses and arouses my libido. It also reminds me that we share something special, from the little goodbye pecks to the big sexual climaxes.

He made me laugh.

My husband’s humor can be dry. Like drought-in-summer dry. One time we were sitting together at a church group event, and he murmured something in response to what the speaker said. I don’t even remember what it was, but it cracked me up. And others around us didn’t get it. I was the one who understood and appreciated his humor.

Turned out, he was also willing to be silly, which I’m all for in life. Life is serious enough that we don’t need to killjoy our way through it, but find reasons to smile. Spock and I engaged in word play, dorky dance moves, and watching comedy films. I laughed at his jokes, and we laughed with each other.

I still think that makes him sexy. And it makes our marriage bed more enjoyable that we can laugh together. Surveys consistently show that women are drawn to a man with a great sense of humor. We enjoy being around someone who makes us smile — is it really surprising that it’s a turn-on too?

Yep, what first turned me on about my husband is what still turns me on about my husband. And after sharing all that, I’m feeling incredibly blessed to have such a terrific, sexy man for my husband.

By Holy & Humorous by J

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5 Things You Should Never Feel Like You Have To Sacrifice In A Relationship

5 Things You Should Never Feel Like You Have To Sacrifice In A Relationship

My mother always said, “Someone will come along who likes you for you, even though you’re weird.”
Well, it turns out mother knows best.
So before you jump into your next relationship, do some introspecting. Pick out all the things you love most about yourself and the things that make you happiest and hold them close, even if they are a little weird.
Relationships should be a source of growth, positivity and love. What they shouldn’t do is change who you are fundamentally (especially when you are so dope).
To start, here are five things you should never give up for a relationship:

Your Friends

There is never a point in a relationship when you should have to prove why your clique is your clique.
It’s simple: They are your people.
That’s all your significant other should need to know. Don’t ever feel the need to justify why your friends are your friends.
Your partner should accept them simply because they make you laugh, know all of your stories, love you unconditionally and always have your back. If they’re friends with you, they have to be pretty cool anyway, right?
At the end of the day, your friends are the family you chose for yourself. It shouldn’t really matter why you picked them.

Your Interests

You like Nickelback? Awesome. You watch the History Channel for fun? Cool.
Don’t even think about letting your partner make you think less of yourself for your interests.What you likes make you, well, you. Drop the person who tells you to change what brings you joy, what helps you smile and what makes you giggle until you tear up.
These are the pieces of your personality that make you unique, interesting and worth loving. Of course, let your significant other show you new things and broaden your horizons, but don’t lose sight of who you are at your core.

Your Body

Do not ever change how you look solely for someone else’s benefit, regardless of your clothing size. Your significant other is in your life to love you for all that you are, not a fantasy version of you or the person you could be.
Your body is meant to be cherished and appreciated. If you want to change something about your appearance for your own personal happiness, then go for it, but never change a hair on your head or the size of your waist to mimic someone else’s ideal image of you.
If you are in the right relationship, your significant other shouldn’t wish for you to be different or sexier. They should already think you’re sexy as hell, because you are.

Your Voice

Now, this one is easy to lose without even realizing you’ve lost it.
Women tend to feel inherently guilty in their romantic relationships. We don’t want to make our partners mad or hurt their feelings. We feel that if we upset them, they might pack up and leave without looking back.
If they can’t deal with your thoughts, feelings and ideas, tell them to leave for good. Don’t stay silent just to make someone else happy. Speak up. Vocalize when your partner crosses a line or hurts your feelings. Say something when the sex isn’t stellar, and tell them what they can do to make you feel even sexier in the sheets.
Speak your mind whenever you feel you need to. If they are the right one, they’ll want to know all of the things running through your beautiful mind.

Your Dreams

Do you want to backpack through Thailand or quit your job and open a wine bar? Do it. Do you want to take a pole dancing class to make you feel sexy? Go for those dreams.
Don’t ever let someone tell you your dreams aren’t worth chasing. Your dreams shape who are and who you will become. They are the most intrinsic, unique pieces of you.
If your significant other really cares for you, they will want to be front and center to watch you achieve all of your goals… especially pole dancing.




 Article by Emily Brookshire:
5 Things You Should Never Feel Like You Have To Sacrifice In A Relationship


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