Successful Dating As You Grow Older

In most cases, once you have been introduced to a person you are able to handle the date and know what you are doing. Oftentimes, the initial meeting is the hardest part of starting any relationship. If you know how situations are different and changed as you grow older and meet new people will help you to understand what you will be up against when you are trying to meet someone and date.

As women get older, they have a higher chance of meeting people due to the fact that there is a much higher woman to men ratio for older women. The older the woman, the more competition they are going to have. At the age of 50, the odds are increased even higher and the competition goes up again.

As for men, as they age they have a much lower rate due to an increase in suicide and death. So, there are less men looking to meet women as age increases. It is well known that most often women outlive men. This makes the ratio of men to women different and more sided toward women with increase in age.


People sometimes choose to let their friends set them up for a date. There can be good and bad things with this situation. If it is a successful relationship, it is wonderful. However, it is much more common that it does not work out and then friends can become offended or feel like they are in the middle. They may very well have the best intentions, but you need to do some serious thinking before you decide to accept this date and their help that they are offering.

There are ways to increase your odds of finding the right person to be in your life. Look closely at yourself. What picture are you giving to others? How do they see you? This is very important to look at and figure out. Look carefully at yourself to find out if there are changes that you need to make in order to be more presentable and appealing to potential mates. It is imperative to make yourself as desirable as possible if you want the best odds of finding a partner.

Are you the type of person that starts conversations? Most often, this is the best way to meet a new person. Take the initiative and be the first to talk to someone. Create an open door of potential for a new friend or possibly more. In some cases, you have to take the initiative yourself and stick your neck out. Take the chance and talk to people to make sure that you can take advantage of every possible opportunity to meet someone that could potentially turn into a relationship.

Starting a conversation or talking to people does not have to be a complex task. It is very simple. Introduce yourself. Tell them your name. Comment about their outfit or what they are wearing. Tell them about something that you witnessed them doing and what you thought about it. It is simply a matter of talking and starting a conversation. You just need to open the door.

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Rebuilding Your Relationship To Rekindle The Passion

There comes a point in almost any successful relationship where things calm down and cool off. There is no longer a major spark between the partners. They get comfortable in their relationship and develop a routine. They no longer find as much time to spend together. Often, this is not due to a lack of desire between the couple. Most often it is the fact that life gets in the way. They may have children or careers to deal with. They are busy and just do not have the free time that they had when their relationship was in the beginning stages.

Most people realize this problem and they will eventually have a desire to change it. They want to get that spark back and reconnect with each other. No matter how strong that desire and want is however, they have to find ways to change it. If they cannot, then there is no way that things will change and in the end they could have a relationship that ends due to the needs not being met. There is nothing worse than knowing that there is a problem and doing nothing to change it or make it better. This is a self destructive pattern.

It is important to make time to spend with your partner. No matter how long you have been in a relationship, you should still go on dates and have personal time alone. Not only does this keep the relationship healthy, but it also protects your sanity. You are free to focus on nothing but, the other person. There are no kids to contend with and no outside interference.

Ideally, dates should be made at least once a month. Hire a babysitter ahead of time so that you are not stuck without anyone to watch the kids on the night of your date. You do not have to go out and do anything that costs a lot of money. It is more about spending time together than it is about what you do.

A simple walk in the park or picnic under the stars is very romantic. In some cases, you do not even have to go out. Find friends or family that the kids can spend the night with. Then, have a candlelit dinner with your partner. You could also cuddle up on the couch together and watch a movie. There are unending possibilities of what you can do for your date. Just set the dates and stick to them. It is all about follow through.

Spending time together is often all that is needed to put the spark back into a relationship. You will find that you are less stressed and that your bond is stronger. You begin to find time to be together again. You have that old desire. There is no longer a monotonous life that has taken over.

You begin to change your relationship and get it back to the way that it used to be. This can ensure that you are together for a very long time and that you are both happy.

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Ending Relationships And Getting Over Them

There are times when a relationship will end. There are many reasons that this occurs. There are also many different lengths of time that a relationship has gone on before it ends. Sometimes people will have been in a relationship for many years and other times they will have only been together for a few months. However, no matter how long the relationship has been established, there are still certain things that are true for every relationship that ends.
The end of a relationship will impact both people. They will both be hurt and have a wide range of emotions. No matter who is at fault or even if someone is at fault, it is going to change both parties. They will both be emotionally drained for a long period of time. They may not have any desire to be around anyone, even friends. Oftentimes a relationship that ends, whether good or bad, results in depression. Other times it leaves people angry and hostility becomes an issue for them for any length of time. They are blaming the other person or something has happened that ended the relationship that has made them angry. No matter what the situation is, the emotions have to be dealt with.
It is a very bad idea to try to jump into a new relationship right after a relationship has ended. However, many people do this. They have gotten used to having someone in their life. They miss having that and do not know what to do about it. So, they try to find another person to fill that void. However, this is a destructive pattern. It is also unfair to the other person that they are pulling into their negative pattern.
They are offering a false sense of themselves. They are pretending that they are in the relationship for the relationship. The other person has no idea that there is anything else going on. However, in most cases, the two people are not compatible with each other and they end up in a very bad situation.
They will not stay together and in time the relationship will completely deteriorate. The person that was using the relationship is now empty and alone once again and in most cases they are much more emotional and hurt than they were when they started.
The particular circumstances surrounding the relationship will factor into everything and determine how a relationship ends. If it was simply dating, then it will end easier than if it was a live in situation or if there were children involved. There are no specific rules about relationships and dating.
There are also no specific rules about how these relationships will end. Each person, each relationship, each life has its own dynamics and ideals. If a break up is mutual and simply due to the fact that the people are not compatible, it can be easier to end the relationship and keep things on good terms. If there are issues that have caused the relationship to deteriorate on the part of one person, then the relationship is much more likely to end in a bad way and with anger.

Do You Know The Dating Principles

Dating is something that is personal and individual. There are no set rules or circumstances in dating. Every person is different and every date is different. There are some guidelines and basic ideals that will help you when you are stepping out into the dating world. .
You need to be able to have a conversation with people. If you are not able to talk to someone, you are not going to be able to go on successful dates. You need to be able to have basic conversations. This is not to say that you have to be able to pour out your heart and soul to a date. You just need to be able to have a basic conversation and keep someone’s interest and attention in you.
Honesty is another very important part of dating. If you are not able to be honest with yourself and with those that you come in contact with, you are not going to get anywhere. You will immediately set yourself up for failure if you are dishonest. Being honest with you is just as important as being honest with others.
You need to know exactly what you want out of things and what you are looking for in a date. If you have false hopes or unrealistic ideas, you are not going to get anywhere. You are setting yourself up for failure before you even start. Look within yourself and decide what it is that you want before you start looking for someone to date.
Be particular about where you go to look for people to date. Bars and nightclubs are bad places to meet people. Most often people in these places are under the influence of alcohol. They are impaired and not capable of entering into a relationship or even a simple date.
You could set up a date with someone and then they could have forgotten it by the next morning. Or, you could become intoxicated and make poor decisions. This can lead to a wide variety of problems. It is best to avoid these situations at all costs. If you do go to a bar or a nightclub, it should not be for the purpose of looking for a date or trying to start a relationship.
When you are starting to date, it is important to take things slowly. You do not want to rush into something and end up ruining a wonderful thing. Take your time and really get to know the person that you are spending time with.
Do not push to advance your relationship or push for more. You will both know when the time is right. You will be able to discuss your thoughts and feelings and you will both communicate and talk about when to move to the next level of your relationship. If you are both happy and things are going well, there is no reason to move faster than you are comfortable with. If the relationship is good, then neither of you is going anywhere and you will both still be there no matter what.
As you can see the dating principals are a matter of common sense and treating people the same way you want to be treated.

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Deciding To Live Together

When you have been dating someone for awhile and decide that you are ready to live together there are things that have to be considered. You need to carefully plan and figure out all of the details. If not, you are both setting yourselves up for disaster and lots of problems. A decision to begin a live in relationship is one that cannot be taken lightly. It is a big decision and one that will affect every aspect of the lives of both parties.

If you have decided that you want to begin a live in relationship with another person, you need to spend time together talking about your decision. If you are not both on the same page and both wanting to live together, the relationship will never work. You will find that you have more problems than you ever anticipated. Your relationship will begin to deteriorate and fall apart. Fighting and arguing ensues and soon you are both parting ways.

The key to a successful relationship is communication. You have to be able to talk to each other and work through things. Most often problems can be resolved simply by talking. You can also prevent problems by taking the time to communicate and understand each other. It is very simple to find out how a person feels about the relationship and the possibility of beginning a live in relationship.

Before entering into a live in situation with another person, there are some important factors to keep in mind. Most often people that make a decision to live together have been dating for an extended period of time. They have gotten to know each other very well. They both have an understanding of what they want out of the relationship. They are committed to a long term relationship with each other. They both want to be together and have gotten close enough to where they are ready to take that next step and move forward in their relationship.

After a decision has been made to live together, there are other factors that come into play. You need to decide which person will be moving or if both people are. This can be a tricky situation in itself. The decision is sometimes dependent on current housing situations and other factors. Perhaps one partner owns their home or has more room. There could be children involved in the decision. If you have children, chances are that you do not necessarily want to uproot them and move them to a new home. This can impact your decision.

No matter what the situation is, know exactly what you want going in. Do not make a decision in haste. Take the time to process everything and consider all aspects. Think about the long term consequences of your decision. Is the person that you are considering living with someone that you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with? If not, you need to reconsider your decision and not rush to move in.

Compatibility Issues Are Key To A Successful Relationship

Compatibility is important in any successful relationship. This is not to say that you and your partner have to like all the same things and be exactly alike. It is not a matter of having someone that is like a mirror image of yourself to share your time with. In fact, if this were true, there would be issues from the start and the relationship would be doomed to failure.
   
You want to find a person that enjoys some of the same activities that you do. If you both like completely different things, there is nothing for you to share when you spend time together. It makes the time strained for one person or the other. It also creates uneasiness and can create unhappiness in the end. This will result in the end of your relationship. It is perfectly acceptable to like different things and have a successful relationship. However, you cannot be completely opposite. There has to be some common ground so that you have things to do during your time together.

You will want a person that shares some characteristics with you. Of course you want them to have their own personality and be their own person. The differences are important for success. You will get bored if you are both too much alike. You will also have conflict between yourselves when you get comfortable with each other. There is nothing to add to the relationship. You both exist as one. You have to have some difference to discuss and add spice.

It is important that people in relationships have similar ideals relating to life and events in it. If you are religious, you would want to be with someone that shares religious values. If you have a desire to have a family, then you would want to be with a partner that also has a desire for family. In regards to life ideals, this is where compatibility is a must. There is nothing like finding a person and falling in love with them. You feel that you are destined to be together. Then, you decide to move your relationship forward.

You have your idea of how things are going to be. Your partner all of a sudden crushes your hopes and dreams. They tell you that they do not want children or that they are not interested in the same things that you are. This will bring about a quick end to the relationship and can leave you both devastated. You could also have feelings of resentment or betrayal toward the other person. It becomes a bad situation for everyone involved.

The best thing that you can do when dating is to find someone that is compatible with you. Talk to them about what you like. If there is something that you are completely against, make sure that they know that from the beginning. Tell them what you are looking for and what your ideal match would be like. Talk about characteristics and personality traits. All of these things are important and can help you have a successful relationship.


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Dating Ideas For the Clueless

Dating Ideas For the Clueless

First dates never cease to be the one of the most thrilling events in one's life. However, dating can become boring if one allows it to be. Here are a few great dating ideas that will make your time interesting.

1. Island Picnic

If you have the moolah, you can always get travel arrangements and head to a deserted island. A simple picnic on a not-so simple island will give your dating life that spark you have been waiting for. This will be very much appreciated by married couples as well.

2. Food Tripping Date

You don't have to spend so much if you only going to fast food chains. But it is a lot more fun to go restaurant-hopping to sample each restaurant's specialties. Don't forget to skip some food before doing this kind of date, or you'll end up overweight.

3. Wine Sampling

This could be more enjoyable if you are in a European country where all sorts of wines abound. However, many private wineries are springing up all over the place.  Do your homework and see if you can find a local winery close to your location.  Just make sure that you are not alcohol-intolerant to enjoy this dating idea.

4. Learn Something New

Learning a new skill could be handy.  Learning a new skill with someone else is a surefire way to conjure an exciting mood during the date.

5. Window Shopping

Who says only women could enjoy this kind of date? Even if it is not a first date, as long as the guy also gets to go to the stores he likes visiting, it could be one fun time for the both of you. Also, it can make you both learn each others preferences when it comes to material things.

6. Truth or Dare Date

Pick a place to go to. Then while heading to that area, you can have fun learning about each other's secrets while playing truth or dare.

7. Sports Date

Go hiking, golfing, mountain-climbing or just about anything that makes you both  tick. This is one of those feel-good date ideas since sports induce the production of that body chemical that makes you feel good.

With these ideas, you will never run out of new and enthralling activities to do. Just be creative.


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Age Differences In Dating

Some people are attracted to members of the opposite sex that have a significant age difference from them. They may prefer dating someone that is younger or older. This is often a matter of personal preference and there are many reasons that people choose these relationships. It is dependent on the individual person and their life.

In most cases, women are attracted to older men. This may be due to the fact that women mature at a younger age than men. In order for women to date a guy that is as mature as they are, they have to resort to older men. For some women, younger men that are less mature are not an issue.

They enjoy having a relationship with them and it all works out fine for both people. However, for some women having a mate that is less mature is almost like having a child. They do not want to have to mother their partner. They want the compatibility and the even keel. Again, this is all a matter of personal preference.

Men also have attractions and relationships with females that are a different age than them. Again, the reasons are just as diversified. They may seek an older or younger woman depending on their preference. They may also look for someone that is around the same age.

Some men that are less mature like to find a woman that is closer to their maturity level. In this situation, they would most often date a woman that is younger than them. This would help them to feel that they are fulfilling their role as the man of the relationship.

It is hard to present yourself as a strong man and as being capable of caring for your mate in a relationship, if you are not mature enough to fulfill this role. However, there are also some men that seek older women to have a relationship with. They want the mothering type of relationship and they want to be able to act a little less mature and be taken care of themselves.

For some people age has no influence on them at all. They date people based on their attraction or traits that they are looking for. They are compatible with a person and want to spend time with them. There are times that they will not even know how old the person that they are talking with is for awhile. They are not worried about age. There is no factoring of age to consider.

These people are sometimes the happiest and in some cases have the best relationships. This is due to the fact that they are not into trivial things and they are really looking for personality and internal traits. They are not worried about looks, age, or other trivial factors.

Every person is different. You may have to date people of different ages to determine what is best for you. If you are new to the dating scene, it is especially important to determine what works best for you. This is important to determine before you try to get involved in a serious relationship. If not, you are setting yourself up for failure and misery.





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6 Dos And Donts For A First Date

There are many right and wrong things to do when you go on a date. Knowing what you should be focusing on and what you need to avoid on a first date can mean the difference between a second date and having someone that never calls you again. If you know what makes a perfect date, you can then go into a first date with confidence and self assurance. You will know what you are doing and what to expect. This limits the surprises that sometimes come up and can ruin a date.

1. Be On Time:

One very important thing that you should do when you are going on a first date is to make sure that you are on time. The fastest way to make a bad impression is to show up late. If you are late, your date will think that you do not care about them or that they are not important enough for you to be on time.
Another potential result is that your date may decide that they do not want to wait for you and will leave before you arrive. They say that the first impression is the lasting impression. Being on time for a date makes a great impression.

2. Put Your Date at Ease:

Do your best to make your date feel as comfortable as possible. Everyone gets very nervous when they go on a first date with someone. If you are making your date feel comfortable, you will also find that you are more relaxed and enjoy yourself much more during the date. Laughing at your date's jokes is one great way to make them feel that you are interested in them and it will also make them more comfortable.

3. Keep Conversation Alive:

Be interesting and keep the conversation alive. You do not what to show up for a date and then have nothing to say and nothing to ask all night. You should prepare yourself ahead of time and think of interesting topics and things that make good conversation.

4. Listen Sincerely:

Show a valid interest in what your date has to say. Pay attention when they are talking to you. Let them know that you care what they are saying. Practice your conversation skills ahead of time. This will help you prepare for the date.

5. Don't Talk About Yourself:

You do not want to talk about yourself all night. This is a turn off and is also rude. You do not want to come off as being conceited or stuck on yourself. Ask questions about your date. Give them a chance to talk. It is not all about you. If you do all the talking and do not let them get a word in, chances are it will be your only date with them.

6. No Talking About Past Relationships:

Do not talk about your past relationships. No one really wants to hear about your ex. They do not want to know what the good points and bad points were. This is a huge turn off and a guaranteed way to drastically reduce the chances for a second date. This is a new person and a new start. Focus on the date that you are with and start finding out about them.

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What First Turned Me On about My Husband

What First Turned Me On about My Husband



I’m going to be seriously honest right now. I’ve had a crazy last week, in which I shifted the family schedule to fall school hours, worked grueling hours to meet a project deadline, and posted nothing here. In September, I have an online course I’m teaching (not about marriage), a local conference I’m chairing, and plans for a terrific giveaway for Hot, Holy, and Humorous (which I will tell you about next time) that requires some additional planning and coordination.

I’m stressed.

On top of that, my husband is stressed, for all of his own reasons. So yesterday, despite our marriage being a happy one overall, we had a bad night. Now believe me when I say that we are so far down the road from where we once were, it’s like we traveled to a different planet. We had an argument, but I’m not the least bit worried about us. We’re in love, committed, and will be fine.
But I’ve been feeling sullen all day, and a little guilty about coming on my blog and saying anything that makes me sound like I know exactly what I’m doing in marriage.

After being absent for too long, though, I wanted to write something.
So I started to think about my husband. Not the negative stuff I was feeling last night or the aftermath hurt stuck in my gut. Rather, I’ve learned enough about marriage to know that was a blip and there are some really great reasons to love the guy I chose.

Memories can be a wonderful thing in this regard. Because I mulled all the way back to the things my husband first did to attract me to him. What flipped that switch to awaken my love for him? What made me eager to hold his hand, to feel his kiss, to say I do and get the other fabulous stuff? Why did I find him so appealing, so engaging, so — I’ll just say it — sexy? 
Practicing optimism about and appreciation for our spouses fuels a better attitude, a hopeful outlook, and a bit of swooning, if we do it right. So I’m going to share my reasons, and I’m hoping you’ll share yours in the comments.

He bought me an ice cube tray.

I bet you never imagined that would be the first thing I’d say. But it’s true! Spock (hubby’s nickname) and I lived in the same apartment complex, and we discussed how the apartments did not provide a sufficient number of ice cube trays. A day or two later, my guy knocked on my door holding two ice cube trays he’d picked up for me at Walmart. And yeah, that little gesture warmed my heart. Because it said: I thought about you when I was nowhere near you. You were on my mind.
To this day, I love finding out that my husband thought about me when he was in other places or with other people. It makes my heart flutter to hear from co-workers that “he talks about you all the time” or to discover he bought my favorite chocolate at the store. The truth is, most married people don’t spend the majority of their day together. And we don’t really know what’s happening in our spouse’s heads, so those little reminders that say, You were on my mind, can keep us feeling connected even when we’re apart.

He listened to me.

I have a history degree, and my primary focus was church history. I recall sitting on his apartment couch when we were first dating and him listening to me talk about the Reformation and Restoration Movements. He leaned in as I spoke, he asked questions that showed he was interested, and he indicated that he was impressed with my knowledge. Want to know what that moment did to my pulse?
Never mind that the subject was John Calvin or Alexander Campbell, the point is he made me feel like he wanted to be with me that moment, and the next moment, and the next. I wasn’t just a pair of lips or a pair of good legs hanging out with him. I could converse with this guy about deep things, and he respected my opinion — he liked me.

These days we often have some of our best lovemaking after a profound discussion on something completely unrelated. We might talk about current events or spiritual issues or personal challenges we each face, and the next thing I know we’re smooching and heading to the bedroom. Guess those thoughtful exchanges are a turn-on.

He touched me, often and easily.

In case you’re familiar with the Five Love Languages theory from Gary Chapman, one of the top two ways I feel loved is physical touch. It’s strange because I’m not touchy-feely with most people. Maybe it’s my introversion that keeps that circle fairly small. However, when Spock and I started dating, he seamlessly found ways to touch me.
He reached for my hand when we walked somewhere or when we rode in the car. He stood shoulder-to-shoulder with me in church and held a single hymnal for both of us. He put his arm around me when we sat on the couch to watch the World Series (1992, every single game). Something about that constant proximity made me feel protected, cherished, desired. And I desired him back.
I still adore holding his hand, although we also get to do things now like cuddling in bed, sharing a shower, and naked body massages. All that physical touch heightens my senses and arouses my libido. It also reminds me that we share something special, from the little goodbye pecks to the big sexual climaxes.

He made me laugh.

My husband’s humor can be dry. Like drought-in-summer dry. One time we were sitting together at a church group event, and he murmured something in response to what the speaker said. I don’t even remember what it was, but it cracked me up. And others around us didn’t get it. I was the one who understood and appreciated his humor.

Turned out, he was also willing to be silly, which I’m all for in life. Life is serious enough that we don’t need to killjoy our way through it, but find reasons to smile. Spock and I engaged in word play, dorky dance moves, and watching comedy films. I laughed at his jokes, and we laughed with each other.

I still think that makes him sexy. And it makes our marriage bed more enjoyable that we can laugh together. Surveys consistently show that women are drawn to a man with a great sense of humor. We enjoy being around someone who makes us smile — is it really surprising that it’s a turn-on too?

Yep, what first turned me on about my husband is what still turns me on about my husband. And after sharing all that, I’m feeling incredibly blessed to have such a terrific, sexy man for my husband.

By Holy & Humorous by J

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5 Things You Should Never Feel Like You Have To Sacrifice In A Relationship

5 Things You Should Never Feel Like You Have To Sacrifice In A Relationship

My mother always said, “Someone will come along who likes you for you, even though you’re weird.”
Well, it turns out mother knows best.
So before you jump into your next relationship, do some introspecting. Pick out all the things you love most about yourself and the things that make you happiest and hold them close, even if they are a little weird.
Relationships should be a source of growth, positivity and love. What they shouldn’t do is change who you are fundamentally (especially when you are so dope).
To start, here are five things you should never give up for a relationship:

Your Friends

There is never a point in a relationship when you should have to prove why your clique is your clique.
It’s simple: They are your people.
That’s all your significant other should need to know. Don’t ever feel the need to justify why your friends are your friends.
Your partner should accept them simply because they make you laugh, know all of your stories, love you unconditionally and always have your back. If they’re friends with you, they have to be pretty cool anyway, right?
At the end of the day, your friends are the family you chose for yourself. It shouldn’t really matter why you picked them.

Your Interests

You like Nickelback? Awesome. You watch the History Channel for fun? Cool.
Don’t even think about letting your partner make you think less of yourself for your interests.What you likes make you, well, you. Drop the person who tells you to change what brings you joy, what helps you smile and what makes you giggle until you tear up.
These are the pieces of your personality that make you unique, interesting and worth loving. Of course, let your significant other show you new things and broaden your horizons, but don’t lose sight of who you are at your core.

Your Body

Do not ever change how you look solely for someone else’s benefit, regardless of your clothing size. Your significant other is in your life to love you for all that you are, not a fantasy version of you or the person you could be.
Your body is meant to be cherished and appreciated. If you want to change something about your appearance for your own personal happiness, then go for it, but never change a hair on your head or the size of your waist to mimic someone else’s ideal image of you.
If you are in the right relationship, your significant other shouldn’t wish for you to be different or sexier. They should already think you’re sexy as hell, because you are.

Your Voice

Now, this one is easy to lose without even realizing you’ve lost it.
Women tend to feel inherently guilty in their romantic relationships. We don’t want to make our partners mad or hurt their feelings. We feel that if we upset them, they might pack up and leave without looking back.
If they can’t deal with your thoughts, feelings and ideas, tell them to leave for good. Don’t stay silent just to make someone else happy. Speak up. Vocalize when your partner crosses a line or hurts your feelings. Say something when the sex isn’t stellar, and tell them what they can do to make you feel even sexier in the sheets.
Speak your mind whenever you feel you need to. If they are the right one, they’ll want to know all of the things running through your beautiful mind.

Your Dreams

Do you want to backpack through Thailand or quit your job and open a wine bar? Do it. Do you want to take a pole dancing class to make you feel sexy? Go for those dreams.
Don’t ever let someone tell you your dreams aren’t worth chasing. Your dreams shape who are and who you will become. They are the most intrinsic, unique pieces of you.
If your significant other really cares for you, they will want to be front and center to watch you achieve all of your goals… especially pole dancing.




 Article by Emily Brookshire:
5 Things You Should Never Feel Like You Have To Sacrifice In A Relationship


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The Key To A Successful Relationship

The Key To A Successful Relationship

 

 

If you were to ask me about the one thing that determines whether a couple will have a successful relationship, I’d think you were crazy. I mean: trying to boil down all of the complexities of a relationship into one single line of advice? My average column hits 2200 words and you think I’m someone who can boil things down to a soundbite? Something you can slap on a bumper-sticker?

But as it turns out, there’s an answer. And it’s deceptively simple.
It’s how the two of you choose to look at your relationship.

One of the biggest mistakes people make is that they assume their view of reality is both accurate and objective. We tend to believe that what we see and experience is 100% exactly what’s going on in the world around us. The only time we really start to question the subjectivity of reality is after a couple of deep bong rips in college.

“Shit man, what if essence really does precede existence?”

In reality, however, our brains lie to us all the damn time.  We can only handle so much information at one time, so in order to free up space, our brains skip over things and fill in the blanks based on what we know and what we expect to happen. We filter our reality through our assumptions and preconceived notions. Part of why most automobile accidents take place within five miles of your home is because the area is so familiar to you that your brain quits paying attention and goes on auto-pilot. It fills in the blanks based on what it believes to be there. Then that pick-up comes barrelling out of nowhere and you literally didn’t see it coming.
But what does this have to do with relationships?

Well, it’s about expectations. Much as with confirmation bias, when you expect to see something or hear something, you will. The same thing applies to relationships: what you expect is what you will get. Not because the experience is manifestly different, but how you perceive and react to it will be.
Now, the big question is: how does this apply to you as a couple?

Celebrate The Good, Minimize The Bad

Since we see what we expect to see, it’s important to make sure that what you expect are the best parts of your relationship. The problem is that the bad almost always outweighs the good in our minds. Because we have this inborn negativity bias, we often let the good times pass without comment while the bad times hit us like a ton of bricks.

That’s why it’s so important to celebrate the good times in your life. Not “acknowledge.” “Celebrate.” Sure, people in a happy, loving relationship can take their partners’ pride in them for granted. But even in the happiest, schmoopiest of relationships, nothing feels better than to get that little burst of validation from someone you love. It’s lets them know that you see what they’ve done and you want them to know, without a doubt, how proud you are.

That’s why it’s good to celebrate life’s little victories; it reaffirms that you appreciate your partner’s accomplishments, just as they appreciate yours.
Yeah, it can feel cheesy to make a big deal out of, say, finally nailing that recipe that’s been giving you trouble. It brings to mind ever Baby Boomer who’s ever complained about kids getting participation trophies for just showing up.

“Way to devalue real accomplishment. Asshole.
Love you!”

But there’s legitimate value in making a fuss over even relatively small accomplishments. Those little celebrations can actually be more important to a successful relationship than simply being the rock they can rely on when shit goes down. Yes, supporting your partner during the bad times is important. Being one pillar of their support system is like the first aid of your relationship. You’re staunching the bleeding and stabilizing the patient. However, that’s all you’re doing… relationship triage.  Cheering your partner on and being cheered on in turn, on the other hand, is what helps heal the relationship.

Knowing that somebody sees the little things we’ve done, who knows what they mean to us and thinks that it’s great that we’ve achieved it? That’s a warm fuzzy feeling that makes us feel closer than before. And most importantly: celebrating those little moments is fun. Fun doesn’t become any less important when you’re in a relationship than when you’re dating. The more fun you have in your relationship as a couple, the more it strengthens your connection, your commitment and your intimacy.

So when you or your partner have some good news, overcome some obstacle or reach a goal at work, celebrate a little. It doesn’t have to be a giant production; a little reward or minor indulgence is all you need. Your celebration might be a nice foot massage or an extra glass of wine. It might even just be getting excited and asking for all of the details so your partner can feel like the conquering hero as they relive the moment.

The way you celebrate is ultimately less important than the fact that you do it and make it a habit. That becomes part of the programming of your relationship.

Affection Makes The Difference

While we’re on the subject of making sure our partners know how we feel, it’s also important to demonstrate our love and affection for one another. It’s one thing to assume that our partners know that we care for them, but it’s another to show it.

One of the traps that we can fall into over the course of a relationship is that we stop being affectionate with our partners. Things become routine, rote, even. We do things because they’re expected, part of what we do every day, rather than out of genuine feeling. A quick kiss before you go out the door, saying “I love you too” reflexively… if we aren’t careful, those just become part of the background radiation of a relationship. We become less like a couple than a pair of Disney animatronics, performing their daily routines with no feeling behind them.
When we want keep those positive associations going so we are primed to see the best in our partners and our relationship, we need to make a point to express ourselves. Not just to say the words or perform the expected observances, but to make a point of demonstrating and expressing our fondness for the person we love. After all, whether you’ve been with someone for six months or sixty years, we still like to know that they’re happy and want to be with us.

Let’s look at Patrick Swayze in Ghost. The fact that Swayze’s character Sam can’t say “I love you,” is a minor plot point; Demi Moore’s character Molly feels a little put out by the fact that Sam just says “Ditto” when she tells him that she loves him. Sam clearly feels the emotions even though he can’t say them. However, it feels less like a playful moment of someone who’s uncomfortable with intimacy to just… doing what’s expected. Even sweetly-intended jokes can damage the relationship in tiny ways if done for too long. It’s like being stabbed with a toothpick. On it’s own, it’s not a big deal. But those small cuts and stings add up over time, and it sets a specific tone and expectation.

This is the birth of a wonderful ro-meh-nce.

On the other hand, you have my favorite fictional couple, Gomez and Morticia. Not a day goes by without a “Cara mia” or a reminder of how much they mean to one another. Critically, it doesn’t feel forced or rote; it feels like a genuine expression of affection. They’re deliberately setting up what to expect from the future of their relationship.

If you want to make your relationship a generally more positive one, make sure that you keep up your affection for one another. You don’t need to make a production how much you love someone — that can end up feeling like you’re making a joke — but you do want to express your fondness and affection for one another. Compliments, terms of endearment and flirting are all ways of keeping that feeling of affection alive. So too are little touches; not just kisses or hugs (though those are important) but the casual physical contact that reminds them that you like being with them. Your hands on their waist, your knee next to theirs and snuggling up to them on the couch or in bed… these are all ways of reminding your partner that you care.

They may be little gestures, but those little gestures build up over time too.

Want A Successful Relationship? Manage “Me vs. We”

Another key to the way you perceive your relationship is managing the “me” vs. “we” factor.
There’s a delicate balancing act when it comes to a successful relationship. You’re both an individual with their own wants and needs but also part of a gestalt being — that numinous “we” that you and your partner built together. You are both the individual pilots and Voltron.

Defender of the universe, yet still can’t agree on what you want to eat for dinner…

You construct that “we” out of your time together, of the life you’ve shared and the work you’ve both put in. You have to be willing to commit to that “we” — that is, to the relationship the two of you have built. Focusing on the “we” means that you put aside your own wants and needs and doing the things that support the relationship. Notice very carefully that I didn’t say your partner’s needs. While that is important, that’s not what I’m talking about here. Your partner’s needs aren’t the same as the relationship’s needs. The relationship requires maintenance from the two of you working on concert with one another.

This is, of course, a tricky line to walk at times. While it’s important to have a life outside of your relationship, it’s also important to remember that at the end of the day, you’ve chosen to be together. You’re individuals yes, but you’re also a couple and that relationship is supposed to be greater than the two of you apart.
You will have things that you want. Your partner will have things that they want. It’s important that you both indulge each other’s needs and do things specifically for your partner… but that’s not the “we”, that’s two “me’s”.

You both will have to be willing to sacrifice your interests and time to do things that are specifically for the relationship itself. This sacrifice may be something as simple as establishing a date night and sticking to it. Alternately, it may be something as fun as finding couples activities that encourage the two bond on a deeper and more meaningful level. It may be something as emotionally difficult as setting up a recurring appointment with a relationship counselor to iron out issues that you’re unable to resolve yourselves.
If you want your relationship to last, you’ve got to remember that your “we” isn’t just you and them, it’s what the two of you have built together.

The Glory Is In The Struggle

Into every relationship, some strife must fall. How you respond to those hard times is what will make the difference in the long run. Do you believe that trouble is inevitable and hard times are there to be endured? Or do you dig in your heels, spit into your hands and get ready to do whatever it takes to get through to the other side?

That choice is significant, because it could affect the rest of your relationship together. Couples who see trouble as something to be endured are far more likely to break up than the ones who treat it as something to overcome.
There are two factors at work here. The first is simply the locus of control. Couples who are content to passively endure the hard times are functionally giving up their ability to affect their relationships. In focusing on endurance and simply trying to bear up under the stresses of a relationship, they’re saying that they’re helpless to do anything to better their position. Relationships are hard and shit happens, so wear a hat.

“Now maybe we can get through our Netflix queue without major trauma…”

Couples who gear up to work through the problems, on the other hand, are coming at it from a place of agency. In trying to overcome whatever life throws at them, they are taking an active role in their own relationship. They know that things are tough — they’re facing the same problems as everyone else and feeling them just as keenly — but they’re choosing to work together to get through. They believe that they are can make things if they work at it, as long as they try. That belief, that fundamental optimism of “this is hard, but we can work harder,” gives them the emotional resilience to keep trying. They get knocked down, but they get back up again. They tire, but they endure.

Like a bird pecking away at at mountain, they may not make much progress at first. But by fighting for their relationship, they know they can break through eventually. They keep at it until they wear that mountain away.
And it’s that struggle together that leads to the other factor that determines who stays together and who breaks up: the reinforcement of  “me vs. we”. Couples who simply endure are maintaining the status quo. They don’t commit to the “we”. They continue to do the same things over and over and watching their relationship fall apart under the stress.

Couples, on the other hand, who struggle and fight are committing to the “we”. They are growing and changing together. In taking a position of conscious effort and improvement, they’re having to work together as a team. They have to communicate and cooperate. They’re finding new and different ways of solving their problems as a unit and it’s bringing them closer together. The times are hard, the pain is great and the stress is almost unbearable. But in working together and rising up to the challenge, they come out the other side stronger and better than they were before. They fight on because they know that in the end, it’s worth it.
That’s the glory in the struggle to make a relationship last. There will be times when it’s nothing but frustration and pain. There will be times when it seems like nothing would go right if you stuck a gun to it’s head. But when those times come, if the two of you look at each other, roll up your sleeves and prepare to face those troubles head on… you’ll find yourselves breaking through to the other side and ready to face the other challenges life throws at you.
And that leads us to the most important part about making a relationship last…

You Build A Successful Relationship With The Stories You Tell

At the end of the day, the success of your relationship revolves around the stories you tell about your relationship. Is it the story of two people who muddle through life? Or do you tell the story of two determined bastards who’ve fought for every scrap they have and love each other all the more for it?
Sounds a bit woo-woo crazy-pants, doesn’t it? But there’s actual science to back it up. A study from the University of Washington found that the longevity of a couple’s relationship could be predicted with 94% accuracy based on how couples describe their relationship history.

See, the stories we tell about our relationships define who we are as a couple. Those stories correspond to how we perceive the way our relationships have progressed. The more negatively you describe your relationship, the more you’re predicting the future of your relationship together. Those negative beliefs are going to color the way you see everything in your life with your partner. They could be sitting quietly eating Triscuits and they’d still be pissing you off. Look at them eating crackers like they’re not the worst person in the world.

“Tiscuitts? Triscuitts?! WE ARE A WHEAT-THINS HOUSEHOLD!”

Alternately, the more positively you describe your relationship, the more that positivity is going to influence your perceptions. Yeah, you’re struggling right now, but you know that deep down, you both love each other and at the end of the day there’s nobody you’d rather have at your back.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that you’re supposed to pretend that you didn’t have to struggle. You don’t act as though you didn’t have hard times or that there weren’t moments that by God you were ready to choke a motherfucker.
It doesn’t matter how much you love one another. It doesn’t matter how much sex you have or how many separate vacations you take. Every couple has times when they are just sick of each other’s shit.

It’s how you choose to view those times that makes all the difference. And it is a choice. As someone wise once told me: pain is inevitable. Everybody’s going to get hurt at one point or another. But while pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. You may hurt. You may get angry. Hell, you will have days when you’re so pissed off that you’re quivering with suppressed rage. But if you can grit your teeth and hold on to that core of love at the center of your relationship – you know, the one I’ve been talking about over and over – then you can find the strength to get through those bad times and back into the good.

And when the good times come again: how are you going to describe what happened? What is the story that you will ultimately tell about your relationship? Are those bad times simply a matter of how close you came to ending things, or are they a time when the lightning flashed and the pillars of Heaven shook and the two of you lashed yourselves together and rode through the storm?

Do you talk about how you made a mistake when you got married? Or perhaps you reminisce more about the days when you were single and free? Are your stories about how you miss those days? Do you talk about them as though it was the worst time of your lives? Is it a miracle that you got through it at all?
Or — like Gomez and Morticia — do you look at it as a struggle that brought you two closer together? Did it nearly tear you apart, or did it show you that you had more work to do and inspired you both to work harder?
Do you talk about how marriage may be a struggle, but at the end of the day, you agree that it’s worth every hard-fought moment? Or do you talk about the hard times and the bitterness? Can you find the good that came from your tribulations and focus on that instead?
The stories you tell about yourselves will be what determines your future together. So it’s up to you.

Tell your story.

Just make sure it’s a good one.

by Dr. NerdLove  

The post The Key To A Successful Relationship appeared first on Paging Dr. NerdLove.

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The Only 2 Times You Should Tell Your BFF You’re In Love With Them

The Only 2 Times You Should Tell Your BFF You’re In Love With Them

I typed the words, “should I tell my best friend I’m in love with them?” into Google and found odd comfort in the solidarity that other people posed the same question. Many times, actually, in all sorts of phrasing. I felt particularly grateful for the rhetoric that resonated with my own. But, like many, I took most comfort in believing my situation was different.
For the record, the consensus is not to tell. An overwhelming majority concede that it’s best to move on in your own time without causing temporary or permanent trauma to the friendship. After all, what hurts more: losing your best friend, or missing out on the chance they’ll feel the same?
There’s two important health checks to assess first: One, how do you know it’s love? And two, is the benefit of telling the person greater than the loss of losing them?
I decided to tell and here’s why.

Health check one: Is it love?

It took months of consideration, assessment and reflection to draw the dichotomy between loving someone and wanting to spend the rest of your life as partners with him or her by your side. I used associated and disassociated techniques found in NLP training to think about how I saw myself and felt in the relationship.
I wondered if conversation and great sex would survive alongside financial fights and domestic chores. Would the bubble around utopia burst with reality? It takes honest consideration because making a permanent decision on temporary emotions is a recipe for regret.
The second part to the first health check (yes, life is complicated), is confronting your motive. Is it altruistic or is it hubris? An altruistic motive places your heart in the right place; you’re speaking up with the best intentions and for the selfless greater good. A Machiavellian mind could be acting out of ill-placed emotions.
Are you qualifying your ego? Fulfilling a need for temporary attention in the wrong place? Or even setting up your friend to fail the test of love?
If there’s a slice of doubt of whether to tell, it’s a stop sign.

Health check two: Will you risk the friendship if it doesn’t work out?

Part two’s heath check is a balancing act; is the benefit of telling the person greater than the loss of losing them? This is a contingency plan, giving you a taste of the loss that could ensue if your feelings are not reciprocated.
Firstly, a “best friend” is hard to come by and harder to replace. If your feelings have started to encroach on your ability to remain friends and not be disappointed by lulls in communication or unmet expectations, then it’s a good sign you’re on the way to telling.
For others, the possibility of jeopardizing your friendship is simply too much to bear.
The litmus test for this balancing act comes down to your honest expectation of their response. So you’ve told your best friend you love them; how will they react? You should have a reasonable expectation of what happens next.
If, deep down, you don’t believe they feel the same (maybe they’re in a serious relationship or maybe they’ve never made an advance), then the balance may lean toward not telling. Don’t bring unnecessary pain to the friendship if you can move on from your feelings in time.
Again, if there’s a slice of doubt of whether to tell, it’s a stop sign.
Now, if you’ve passed health check one and two, you know your love is genuine and the friendship will be unsuccessful anyway given your feelings, it’s time to tell.
We live in a fast-paced world crammed with disposable mating, digital dating and medicated fixes. We don’t like to feel pain and we’re wired to think quick. It’s likely why our emotions feel like a moving target; some stay grounded, others are fleeting and some poke their head from time to time. If for no other reason than to slow it all down to be sure, assess your motives before throwing “love” around like confetti and “best friends” around like they’re replicable.
How to tell your best friend you love them? Well, that is a whole other story.



Via Dating – Elite Daily by Nicole Crowley:
The Only 2 Times You Should Tell Your BFF You’re In Love With Them

What It’s Like To Travel Across The World For A First Date

What It’s Like To Travel Across The World For A First Date

Once upon a time, not so very long ago, I did something a little crazy. On one hand, this story may evoke admiration amongst the adventurous romantics of the world. On the other hand, it may call my sanity into question.

But here’s the thing: While my 20s and free passes for reckless behavior quickly slip away, I justify my choices by asking myself a simple question. What good is life without spontaneity and irrational, emotion-fueled decisions?

Meeting people online these days is pretty standard. We are a Facebooking, Tindering, Couch-surfing generation, after all. While I’ve done some strange things in my life, including but not limited to going on my fair share of internet-generated dates and moving across the world, I never imagined that Instagram would be the platform to launch an international whirlwind of a romance.

Here’s how it all started:
I was on an island in Thailand, the stunning Southeast Asian country that tempted me away from home for two years. I was in the middle of a beach scene worthy of a desktop screensaver. Despite this actually being my reality, I was shamefully glued to my phone. It was then, bikini-clad and epitomizing iPhone addiction, that a hot, seemingly well-traveled guy started to follow me on Instagram.
Now, perusing through an Instagram profile offers a lot of information about a person. In five minutes, those squares told me everything I needed to know.
I could clearly see he was good-looking, he’d been to numerous places around the world, he liked dogs, he worked out, he had an active social life, there were no recurring females to indicate that he was taken and he was close with his family (quite a mama’s boy by the looks of it.)

I followed back. He responded by liking a few pictures and commenting on my latest post. Feeling particularly bold, I decided to send a direct message: “So you’re adorable, how’d ya find me?” Turned out, in one of my #travel liking sprees, I’d liked one of his pictures. Our conversation quickly escalated into exchanging Facebook information and striking up conversation there. Thank you, social media.
David* was an English dreamboat bouncing between London, England and Marbella, Spain. Unapologetically intrigued by one another, we started talking incessantly, whenever our waking hours coincided. Something just clicked; I didn’t think twice about what to say and everything flowed effortlessly.

David had been to Thailand several times, and we had a lot in common. In addition to texting, we started exchanging short video clips, and I’d die a little bit inside every time I heard his ridiculously charming accent. Things accelerated quickly, and suddenly meeting each other was on the table.

I’d conveniently orchestrated a week off between jobs, and he didn’t have the typical 9 to 5. So who should go where? When David told me he was going to Spain during my week off, suddenly I knew I was, too.
We scheduled a FaceTime date to discuss our impulsive idea more seriously. Never had someone been more on my page; never had someone considered the outlandish things I considered.

We didn’t hesitate at all, which is the only way something crazy like this ever actually comes to fruition. I sent my first direct message on June 20. By June 25 I had a flight. By July 5 I had traveled nearly 19 hours and was toting a suitcase around Malaga Airport, nervously looking for this stranger that I would meet in person for the very first time.

With only five full days to spend in Spain, it would be a quick trip, considering the distance. The days spent together were not without their flaws (those English accents can be really hard to understand sometimes!), but we spent our days as this (no pun intended) insta-couple.

We had a romantic date night; we spent a lazy afternoon on the beach kissing and singing old ’90s hits from my iPod; we enjoyed homemade family dinners; we climbed a mountain and took risqué pictures at the top; we swam through a beautiful gorge; we took a boat to Old Town Marbella; we went on photo adventures and we explored swanky Puerto Banus and its nightlife.

It was like I’d walked onto the set of “The Bachelor,” but better. I had the exotic dates, the sexy man and thankfully, zero other women to beat off with a stick. As quickly as I’d arrived, it was time to head back to Bangkok. We set no expectations for what was to follow. Both of us were realistic enough to be content with the possibility that our time together might be nothing more than a crazy adventure.
While the internet has undoubtedly made the world a smaller place than ever, England and Thailand were still a considerable distance apart. The stars could not have aligned better to orchestrate our first meeting, but they kind of scattered across the sky after that.

David and I haven’t had the chance to see each other again, but we still talk to this day, over a year later.

Although we’ve both moved on, I consider him a close friend. We share our work and dating woes as well as our travel plans, the one thread and common interest that particularly connects us. Our moment may have passed, but I’m so glad to have had the adventure, and to have met someone else like me out there, someone willing to follow their heart and take a chance, even if it sounds like the craziest thing in the world.
In my book, it’s stories like these that make life worth living, and I plan on writing many more.


What It’s Like To Travel Across The World For A First Date

Via : Dating – Elite Daily by Lauren Carey


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Do men like it when women ask them out?

Do men like it when women ask them out?

Mr. Answer Man says: 

Men definitely like it when women ask them out. What's not to like? But before you get busy with your phone and address book, there are a few things you should know.

For starters, a part of the guy will wonder if you've called him up because you want to have sex with him. Guys are generally hoping to have sex whenever they go on a date, so this probably won't mean he'll behave any different, but you might want to set some limits early on. (Unless that is why you called him.)

Also, be prepared for lots of dating gray areas: Who'll drive? Who'll pay? Who'll decide where to go? The impetus is generally on the guy to control the flow of events on a date, but since you initiated things, how far will the initiative extend? Ideally, this will be part of the fun, but it can lead to baffled expectations on both sides.

Another thing to consider is something guys have been dealing with since time began: The answer might be no.


Article from Just Senior Singles.


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If Your Guy Doesn’t Have These 8 Qualities, Don’t Marry Him

Meeting the man of your dreams — the one you will want to marry — will not be an easy task.
Most girls have a pretty long list of desired qualities, which narrows the playing field for them quite a bit. And as they say, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your Prince Charming.
Your soul mate for life is not something you can plan or shop for. I mean, you can attempt to meet a lot of different guys, but I believe soul mates for life happen by destiny. It’s about being in the right place at the right time.
You both need to be prepared. If you don’t have the right tools, you won’t qualify for the job. There has to be that overall, mutual attraction, and it needs to feel just right.
Everything should come naturally so don’t try too hard. If you do, it’s probably not meant to be. Conversation should be flowing easily, you must share common interests, and an absolute feeling that you want to see this dude again. You can’t stop thinking about him, and he can’t stop thinking about you.
There are certain traits that definitely have to be there. Everyone’s taste and outlook on finding the right partner varies but these are the qualities I would look for in a husband, and I’m sure many other gals can agree with many, if not all of them.

1. He has an awesome sense of humor.

In my book, if a man makes a girl laugh uncontrollably, he’s definitely a keeper.
Knowing how to laugh and have fun together is an important part of every relationship. What’s a relationship without having fun and letting loose together? Constant tempers, crankiness and seriousness are major NO’s.

2. He's a dependable kind of a guy.

When he says he’ll be there, he’d better freaking be there. Obviously emergencies come up but communication is essential. Canceling or being late are not very impressive habits to have at all.
A girl will run in the opposite direction if she can’t depend on her man. I need to know I can always count on my guy, just as he’ll be able to count on me.

3. He's honest and truthful.

Embellishing a story for a few laughs is one thing. But if a guy gets caught in a lie, he compromises his character. Compromise his character and he’s yesterday’s guy.
All of my dudes out there: DON’T lie. Do yourself a huge favor and don’t even go there, because it will never end well. You should be honest and truthful to one another, always.

4. He's extremely thoughtful, because he wants to be.

Many girls love to be surprised because it shows the guy cares. Besides, thoughtfulness is super sexy, and girls eat it up. I’m not talking about extravagances, just the little things.
When a guy makes creative plans without being prompted by his girl. Or acknowledges a stressful day she’s having with flowers, her favorite ice cream or a back rub. Cooking her dinner is always a sweet move! Take notes, guys.

5. He's affectionate and shows that he appreciates you.

In a relationship, a girl should be treated like a queen, and a guy should be treated like a king. Never take any day for granted; hugs, unexpected kisses and holding hands aren’t just for when you first meet, they’re forever.

6. He's motivated, and that's sexy AF.

Nobody wants a slacker or a couch potato as a partner. A guy who has ambition to create an awesome future and build a great life together is plain ol’ sexy.

7. He's a family-oriented man.

When a guy is respectful and close to his family, it’s a great indication that he will be a good husband and father. You can tell a lot about a guy by how he treats the women in his life (mom, sisters, aunts, female cousins).

8. He's confident with himself and his choices.

A man without a backbone is attractive to… hmmm, let me see… NOBODY. Know what you want in life, and experience it together.

A

If Your Guy Doesn’t Have These 8 Qualities, Don’t Marry Him

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