Friday, June 30, 2017

Japanese Men Are Finding True Love In Sex Dolls. Should We Be Creeped Out? Cause We Are

Sex dolls aren’t a new invention for men looking to find escape through sexual release. However, there are some who are taking the concept a little too far, to the extent of declaring their undying love for these sex dolls. In one of their recent stories, Channel News Asia dug up one such ‘rubber romance’ between Japanese physiotherapist, Masayuki Ozaki and ‘the love of his life’, Mayu, a sex doll. 

Japanese Men Are Finding ‘True Love' In Sex Dolls© AFP

One not-so-fine day, Masayuki found the love die out of his marriage when his wife gave birth to their daughter. They weren’t having sex anymore and that left the 45-year-old physiotherapist distraught. “After my wife gave birth we stopped having sex and I felt a deep sense of loneliness,” he tells AFP. “But the moment I saw Mayu in the showroom, it was love at first sight.” He blushes as he reveals this. Masayuki found his silicone sex doll in the window of a sex toy showroom and now, she shares a bed with him. 

He confesses that his family was initially revolted by the idea. “My wife was furious when I first brought Mayu home. These days she puts up with it, reluctantly,” he says. “When my daughter realised it wasn’t a giant Barbie doll, she freaked out and said it was gross – but now she’s old enough to share Mayu’s clothes.” The arrangement triggered angry outbursts within the family of three, initially. However, Masayuki reassures that they arrived at a ‘delicate truce’ of sorts. 

Japanese Men Are Finding ‘True Love' In Sex Dolls© AFP

The physiotherapist goes on to reason in the same interview about how he is turned off by human relationships and that Japanese women are “cold-hearted”, adding further that, “They’re very selfish. Men want someone to listen to them without grumbling when they get home from work.” While we can agree that Masayuki might be having the emotional intelligence quotient of an orangutan, I’m secretly wondering what these women he talks about would say about the men. 

Speaking more about his undying love for his… erm… sex doll, Masayuki says, “Whatever problems I have, Mayu is always there waiting for me. I love her to bits and want to be with her forever.” He further adds, “I can’t imagine going back to a human being. I want to be buried with her and take her to heaven.” 

Japanese Men Are Finding ‘True Love' In Sex Dolls© AFP

In another instance, 62-year-old Senji Nakajima, quips, “Human beings are so demanding. People always want something from you – like money or commitment.” The Tokyo-born businessman man has a girlfriend named Saori who is a rubber doll. In the same interview to AFP, Nakajima confesses how his heart flutters when he comes home to his girlfriend. His family too has been divided on his relationship with the doll; while his son has accepted it, his daughter hasn’t. However, Nakajima who has separated from his wife, proclaims, “She never betrays me, she makes my worries melt away,” adding that he will never date a real woman again. “They’re heartless.”  

The sex doll industry (yes, there is an industry) is thriving off this newfound means of love. And more and more Japanese men are falling head over heels in a new kind of love with these dolls. Honestly it’s just little; but a lot downrightly creepy. But, hey, love knows no… heart…? 

Is real human love redundant now?

Article from: RELATIONSHIPS, by Penelope Tamblyn

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Is Social Media Taking Over Your Life?


It is easy to lose yourself in social media without realizing it. If you feel sometimes that your life consists entirely of going from Facebook to Whatapp to SnapChat to Twitter, you are not alone. Millions of people, young and old, feel the same. It is wrong to say that all human relationships have become subsumed in social media. The truth of the matter is that face-to-face interactions and relationships are what spur activity on social media.

As a college student or working professional, you make friends, organize groups, and put together events. This leads to the unconscious formation of tribes. And the members of all tribes want instinctively to know what is going on with other members. You don’t want to be left out; you want to be part of the latest gossip, planning, and developments in everyone else’s life. None of this feels forced or intrusive; indeed, not checking social media and responding to messages and updates comes off as being unsociable and unfriendly. Checking and posting is your life and that of those to whom you are connected.

It is common nowadays for people to complain about the amount of time that they and their friends spend on social media. And there are those who temporarily shut down or abrogate their accounts in an act of facile defiance. But these gestures do not constitute a sustainable solution. To survive in the modern social world you must be on social media. The point is not to extract yourself from it, as from a prison, but to control how and when you use it.

The how and when of the thing hang together. But before I press this argument further I must point out an exception. For many people—and you may be one of them—social media is not a mere tool of amusement; it is the primary means by which you organize and execute your business. Your livelihood is made through the virtual sphere, and so you are compelled to spend a great deal of time on Facebook, Twitter, etc. If this is your life, then I can offer no advice. You must do what you need to do to make money.

If you use social media mainly to keep in touch with friends then you should question whether it is preventing you from getting important things done. Scrolling through updates and contributing to them can be a welcome distraction after an intense period of work. It can be an unwelcome distraction if by the time you exit your SnapChat or Whatsapp account you realize you’ve not done a scrap of real work—not one thing that advances your career or that will help you get on in life.

Such wastage begins to add up after a while. Sometimes it is better to resist sharing your every thought and sentiment with the world, and then, perhaps the greatest source of the time sinkhole, answering those who respond to them. To get back control of your life you must learn the increasingly rare art of restraint.

Social media is a great and growing part of our lives. It is a useful tool for keeping in touch with the people we care about most. The thing to remember is that it is a tool: it is we that must use it and not it that gets to use us.

Article from: TSB Magazine | Dating and Lifestyle Advice for Men, by Christopher Reid

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Thursday, June 29, 2017

Is an Unhealthy Relationship Destroying Your Life?

A relationship is never perfect. Everyone faces problems in relationships. The solutions to those problems rest in a couple’s willingness to work together to solve those problems. And yet, if a couple searches in vain for solutions that never seem to work, is it possible that the relationship is turning into an unhealthy relationship? Is it possible to solve these overwhelming problems?

First, examine 6 warning signals of an unhealthy relationship.

1. Excessive Control
Controlling relationships take on many forms. A partner who must win all disputes regardless of the consequences is controlling. Partners who devote all of their attention to the other partner are controlling. A partner who constantly pressures the other to change is controlling. Others who control force a withdrawal from all other friendships and social contacts. In the end, excessive control diminishes self respect and self identity, eliminating the expression of true feelings and passions.

2. Deception
Unhealthy relationships are void of honesty. Secrets become lies, constantly fueling the destructiveness of deception. Deception is manipulation and trickery and dishonesty. If a couple cannot overcome the lies, the relationship is likely to fail.

3. Lack of Support
Support is a measurement of commitment. It means desiring to spend time with one another – and enjoying it. Support means communicating with each other, finding ways to solve individual frustrations and to strengthen the relationship. Without support, there is no commitment. A lack of support intensifies problems in relationships and the relationship overall is at risk.

4. Persistent Anger
Relationship problems become insurmountable when a couple cannot let go of that which should have been forgiven. In a relationship void of forgiveness anger works to destroy mutual respect. Relentless anger is a negative force that fuels resentment and leads to regret. Eventually persistent anger will destroy a relationship, replacing any hope of communication with overwhelming name calling and accusations. Persistent anger destroys compromise. It paves the way for a life without apology.

5. Lack of Individuality
In a lasting relationship, each partner is comfortable with their own individuality. Individuality is about sharing the good and the bad, and working in harmony to strengthen the relationship. When a partner abandons personal individuality and seeks identity only through the other person, the relationship is at risk.

6. Abandoning Trust
Perhaps the strongest signal of an unhealthy relationship is the absence of trust. In order to work, a relationship must be founded on trust for a partner and trust in our own instincts to do the right thing. An abandonment of trust is fueled by insecurity and doubt. Left unchecked, an abandonment of trust will eventually destroy a relationship.

An unhealthy relationship can change for the better, but only with a great deal of patience and commitment. Both partners must be accountable for their actions, and for their willingness to work past their differences. The reality is, more often than not an unhealthy relationship is so destructive that it cannot survive. And rather than devoting the time and frustrations of repairing it, it is usually better for both parties to move away from one another.

Understand and evaluate the signs of an unhealthy relationship. Apply it to your life. Is that relationship enhancing your life, or is it destroying your very being? If it is the latter, you must break away.

Having faced and survived hardships and adversities of her own, Kelly Bowman has since devoted years of her life to learning how best to help others with similar challenges. From a relationship breakup to emotional pain, cast aside the emotions that defeat. Join Kelly on a journey of strength away from relationship breakup and loneliness to acceptance and companionship.

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Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Ideas To Find A Match In Senior Dating

Senior dating can be a prospect that seems very unfamiliar to you especially if you have not been in the dating game for several years. Today one of the best and safest ways of doing this is on-line dating sites or social networking sites. Take a class if you are not already computer savvy. Many a woman and man have found love later in their lives with the help of these communities on-line.

You must be aware of your safety on any of these type sites. When you are signing up and posting your profile to these pages be totally honest about your weight and your look as well as important factors like your hobbies and main interests. This is how the site can match you with potential people who are in to the same things as you and think you would be a great fit together.

Never chat with a person who asks for personal information right off the bat. These people should not be trusted. Get to know them much better before releasing anything like that to them once you feel comfortable letting them into this part of your life. Most reputable dating site make you pay fees on a monthly basis this is to secure you safety and pay for site maintenance as well.

If a person contacts you through these sites but is not a full member of them then do not have contact with them either on site or especially if they ask you to contact them off the site. These are scammers only looking for information they can use against you to cheat you or harm you.

Although doing a background check on a potential love interest may seem out of hand it is the best way of your truly knowing the person you are getting close to. You don’t want to fall for someone and then find out he has a domestic abuse, anger or assault even murder history. It is best to get this over before anything really gets going between the two of you, they should also do one on you to even the playing field and to be sure about your intentions as well.

When setting up your first face to face with an on-line suitor make it somewhere public like a crowded restaurant, theater etc. Once you both feel reasonably at ease and comfortable with one another then more private meetings can take place. On the first several dates do not give out a lot of your personal information and be wary if a person seems to be asking you too many questions you do not feel comfortable answering.

If a certain person makes you uncomfortable in anyway then do not hesitate to get out of there and never have contact with them again. Intuition is a strong and very often than not safe way to gauge if the situation is dangerous or not. So listen to it at all times to be on the safer side.

Chat on-line with a perspective suitor for months before actually meeting or giving out your home number. Sometimes you get to know a person much better this way than actual face to face contact or telephone conversations as they are a lot less guarded about themselves on these sites.

Senior dating on-line is a great way to find that one true perfect pearl in an ocean of oysters for you. So don’t let it scare you, jump in with both feet but just remember the safety tips you have learned here also.

As a senior dating after a couple years out of the market may seem terrifying and overwhelming as their are a couple new ways to meet senior eligible men and women these days. More information now on senior singles dating and senior single dating site .

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Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Dating Tips For Guys – 4 Incredible Tips That You Should Be Aware Of

There are many dating tips for guys but not all of them are worth it when it comes to the matter of dating and women. You see there are loads of dating tips out there on the internet and other sources yet only a few of these dating tips actually help men. There are some stunning dating tips which are guaranteed to help you achieve the desired results with females fast. Read on to discover what these dating tips are and how you can use them to achieve stunning results with women…

Dating tip 1- Never act too impressed too early- This is something you must be careful about at all times. You see what normally happens is that most guys end up acting too impressed too early due to which the girl they are with loses all the attraction towards them. The reason why this happens is simply due to the fact that when the girl discovers that you want her real bad she you become an easy catch and girls are normally after guys who are some what of a challenge.

Dating tip 2- First impression is the last impression- This is one of the most important dating tips for guys. You see if you make a lousy first impression it would be extremely hard for you to make a good impression again. Once a woman discovers that you are something she doesn’t want to have there is absolutely no way she will feel attracted towards you again. Therefore keep in mind to make a great first impression.

Dating tip 3- Act as if you are something even if you are average- Most guys feel that it’s all about the looks but the fact of the matter is that looks don’t matter that much. Now you might feel that you have read before in dating tips at other places that looks do make a difference. You see the fact of the matter is that looks have very little to do when you have a strong personality. This is one of the most under looked dating tips for guys. Girls would value you more if you are confident about yourself and carry a frame of mind. Guys concentrate more on your behavior than what you look like.

Dating tip 4- Forget the outcome just have fun- Another important dating tip for guys is to forget the outcome which means not to think about whether she will like you or not. Just be in the moment and try to have some fun. You see when you forget what she might think about you, she automatically starts to like you since she will have a great time in your company because you are enjoying yourself.

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Monday, June 26, 2017

Relationship Problems – Finding Solutions

The distinction between a healthy relationship and an unhappy relationship is often determined by how well the couple can handle their relationship problems during their most difficult moments.

As stress builds, and as conflicts rise, all relationships are tested. But with the proper mindset, and with genuine respect for one another, those tensions can be soothed, and the relationship can be strengthened.
A proper mindset begins with a commitment to responsibility, accountability, and emotional maturity. It is also about trust. These are the building blocks of a healthy relationship, and the foundation for the replacement of conflict and hostility with harmony and respect.
As a starting point, ask yourself a basic question.

“Am I so passionate about winning that I am prepared to end our relationship?”

Has winning at any cost become more important to you than the original problem? Can you let go of this conflict and move forward?

Relationships problems can be solved if the couple is willing to work together towards a resolution. By following these 7 relationship rules, you can discover for yourself a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.

1. Listen to what your partner has to say. A relationship is not a competition. When you listen, you can begin to find common ground.

2. Don’t blame your partner for all of your frustrations. While the relationship itself may well be a source of aggravation, don’t allow outside frustrations to undermine your relationship. It’s as simple as communicating. Replace blaming with sharing and expect an immediate boost in your relationship.

3. Deal in the present. Resentment for what occurred in the past only adds negative to an unhealthy relationship. Avoid placing blame for what occurred in the past and concentrate on solving the relationship problems of the present.

4. Do not allow pointless arguments to drain the life from your relationship. Discard that which is meaningless, and concentrate only on those relationship problems that must be resolved.

5. Forgive your partner. Love is hollow without forgiveness. Accept your partner’s weaknesses along with his strengths. Refuse to allow resentment to overpower forgiveness.

6. Learn when to let it go. Some issues are just not important enough to continue. Most relationship problems can be resolved through compromise. If you cannot find common ground on a particular issue, ask yourself if it is worth ruining the relationship over. If not, give it up.

7. Above all else – place the relationship first. You and your partner are not competitors. Respect your partner’s viewpoints, always looking for the solution. You might well be amazed at the results!

Relationship problems are not insurmountable once couples can embrace mutual respect. True respect is built on the willingness to listen rather than to speak. Trust is about honest communication without fear. Trust is the foundation of love.

Respect your partner, and respect that sometimes it is acceptable to agree to disagree and to move on. By releasing the past and looking forward to the hope of the future, even challenging problems can serve to build and strengthen your relationship.

Having faced and survived hardships and adversities of her own, Kelly Bowman has since devoted years of her life to learning how best to help others with similar challenges. From a relationship breakup to emotional pain, Kelly understands that sometimes the most important thing for healing is an inspiring word, a thoughtful passage, or the understanding of someone who has already been there.

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12 Simple Activities You Can Do to Start Building Self Esteem Today

Self-esteem is a popular topic these days, with even parenting guides encouraging parents to start young in encouraging their children’s self-esteem.

It’s not hard to see why — people with a good sense of self-esteem consistently have better mental health and are happier and more successful.

But what happens when you don’t have a high self-esteem? It’s not too late.

When you struggle with low self-esteem, improving your sense of self-worth can be a journey that takes both time and dedication.

However, there are things you can do right now to get you started on that journey. Below are 12 simple activities that you can do to boost your self-esteem today.

1. Make Yourself a Priority

From the time we are young, we are taught that putting other’s needs before our own is a virtue, while prioritizing your own needs is selfish. However, you can’t have a good sense of self-esteem if you don’t make your own needs a priority.

So what does prioritizing your own needs look like in the real world? It means meeting your own needs instead of ignoring them for the sake of others.

This can be easier said than done, especially if you are a parent or work in a demanding work environment, but when you recognize that your own needs have value, you begin to realize that you yourself have value.

2. Stop Being a People Pleaser

As Aesop once said, “He who tries to please everybody pleases nobody.” This includes yourself — if you spend your whole life trying to please everyone, you won’t find personal happiness.

That is because people pleasers have an unfortunate habit of making everyone else a priority over themselves and pretending to be someone other than their authentic selves.

As you can imagine, pretending to activities that you actually can’t stand or pretending to possess certain qualities you don’t actually have in order to get others to accept you can have a negative effect on your self-esteem.

You are, in essence, telling yourself that you aren’t good enough. The next step towards boosting your self-esteem, then, is forgetting what others want you to be and being your own authentic self.

3. Find Yourself

If you’ve spent your whole life ignoring your own needs and pretending to be someone else in order to please others, you may not know what your authentic self actually is. This is your chance to figure that out!

Turn your gaze inwards and analyze what really drives you and brings you joy. It may feel strange at first, but there is no wrong emotion in this scenario — all are an important step towards authenticity and increased self-esteem.

4. Watch Your Self Talk

Part of developing a healthy self-esteem requires analyzing how you talk to yourself.

We all talk to ourselves in some way, whether out loud or just in our heads, and the language we use can be a significant insight into how we view ourselves. Negative self-talk (i.e. calling yourself ugly or unlikeable) creates a feedback loop where your self-esteem drops, which leads to more negative self-talk, and so on.

The most effective way to break the cycle is to counter that negative self-talk through being kind and positive towards yourself.

Anytime something negative pops into your mind, counteract those thoughts by writing down something positive (i.e. a list of your positive attributes) until positive self-talk becomes a habit.

5. Don’t Beat Yourself up over Your Mistakes

As humans, we are frequently harder on ourselves than we are on our loved ones. Unfortunately, many of us view our mistakes as personal or even moral failures.

The thing is, we are all human, and all humans make mistakes. Instead of dwelling on your mistakes as some sort of personal punishment, try to view these mistakes as opportunities to improve yourself. Just by changing your way of thinking, you can boost your self-esteem.

6. Acknowledge Your Successes

On the flip side, you should also recognize your achievements. It is common for many of us to downplay our successes.

We say “It wasn’t that big of a deal. Anyone could do it.” This leads to feelings that we haven’t achieved much with our lives, hurting self-esteem.

If you want to boost your self-esteem, you should celebrate your successes. Think about the person you were just a few years ago, and recognize how much you have grown and changed.

Write your successes down and as time goes on you’ll be amazed at how much you have accomplished.

7. Be Grateful

Cultivating a healthy sense of self-esteem also involves the ability to be grateful for what you have. Some individuals tie their entire sense of self-worth in what they have, but someone else will always have more than you do, whether it’s more money, better looks, etc.

Instead of getting caught up in what you don’t have that others do, focus on what it is that you do have. Be grateful. When you focus on being grateful for the things that you do have, you start to feel happier with your life and more self-assured.

8. Nurture a Positive Attitude

A lot of changing your self-talk, emphasizing your successes over your failures, and being grateful has to do with maintaining a positive attitude. Such an outlook can be difficult to cultivate, as our brains naturally tend to dwell on the negative instead of the positive.

The first step towards nurturing a positive attitude is to associate with positive people. Negative people can only bring you down to their level. Positive people can only help you improve.

9. Commit to Your Decisions

Another way to cultivate positivity in your life is to fully commit to your decisions.

Once you have decided on a course of action, don’t waste your energy on self-doubt and second-guessing yourself. Use that energy to do the necessary research and work to see your task through.

When you give in to self-doubt and second thoughts, you are telling yourself that you don’t view yourself as a competent adult capable of making the right decisions and successfully completing a task.

As such, committing yourself to your decisions boosts your self-esteem by eliminating those doubts and insecurities.

10. Learn How to Say No

Another aspect of making yourself a priority and committing to your decisions is learning how to say no in a decisive yet respectful way. When you learn how to say no, you teach others that your boundaries are to be respected and that you won’t be taken advantage of.

One of my favorite quotes from the late Steve Jobs emphasizes the importance of saying no:

“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.”

Substitute focus for happiness and you’ve got a winning strategy for life, not just business.

By teaching others to respect your boundaries, you affirm to yourself that you are allowed to have needs and boundaries. You also avoid getting stuck with tasks that drain your energy and sense of positivity.

11. Be Generous to Others

Making your needs a priority and learning how to say no to the things you don’t want to do doesn’t mean that you have to shut others out in order to build up your own self-esteem.

In truth, humans are social creatures and a lack of meaningful human connections can severely impact your self-esteem.

For many people, helping others gives them a sense of meaning and purpose in life.

If you have the time and the means, give to charity, volunteer your time to a cause you feel passionate about, or even give blood at the local blood bank.

12. Love Yourself

At the end of the day, a person with high self-esteem is a person who loves himself. This doesn’t mean loving yourself as Narcissus loved his reflection, but rather loving yourself as a person who has value and worth.

When you love yourself, you lead a healthier life. You take care of your body by exercising regularly, eating the right food, and you take care of your mind with positive talk and a healthy social life.

In short, even if you currently don’t have a high sense of self-esteem, there are simple steps that you can take to start developing a strong sense of self-esteem today.

Some of these twelve activities might not be easy at first due to ingrained habits developed over a lifetime, but if you consistently practice these actions every day they will start to become second nature and you will start to see an improvement in your self-esteem.

 


Article from: Relationships & Love – Psych Central, by Daniel Fries

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Sexual Positions to Impress Your Man: 10 Moves to Rock His World

Whether your sex life is lackluster or you need a change of pace, wow your guy in the sack with these 10 awesome sexual positions to impress your man.

When it comes to sex it’s all about variety, comfort, experimenting, and fun. It’s so easy in any relationship to fall into a bit of a pattern. If you both have busy lives outside the bedroom it’s easy to start seeing your sex life slip away. You not only do it less often, but when you do you kind of have this comfortable routine thing happening. It’s not that it’s not nice, it just seems a little predictable! These 10 sexual positions to impress your man bring back some spice.

If this sounds like you, it may be that you’ve started to worry that your sex life is becoming a bit of a yawn fest. And you worry that your man thinks so too. Or perhaps you started a new relationship and want to totally knock his socks off with your sexual prowess.

10 sexual positions to impress your man

Whatever your reasons for wanting to spice things up in the bedroom, learning how to incorporate lots of different sexual positions into your sexual play is a great place to start. Not only does it add lots of variety, it will make you feel confident and adventurous. You could open up a whole new world of pleasure to both you and your man!

So, with that in mind, let’s take a look at some of the more interesting and tried and tested sexual positions that will seriously impress your man! [Read: 30 day sex challenge – 30 sex positions for 30 days]

#1 Stand and deliver. This is a fantastic sex position that has great benefits for both of you. You lie on the edge of the bed with your legs apart, while your man stands at the edge. Get him to grab your legs at the ankles and gently bend them towards your chest.

As he enters you, this creates deep penetration, and he will be in complete control and have a great view of himself thrusting in and out of you which is sure to massively turn him on. [Read: Exotic sex: 16 hot, hot, hot sex positions you need to try out]

#2 The wheelbarrow. Not for the fainthearted! This sex position requires some serious skill, but is sure to impress your man if you achieve it. You kneel on the floor and get him to hold your legs and gently pull them up so you put your weight on your hands. He leans your legs on his chest or over his shoulders if that works for you. He then enters you from behind. This takes strength and stamina, but if you do it, it provides loads of stimulation for you both.

#3 The reverse cowgirl. Everyone loves a bit of cowgirl/cowboy action in their lives, and if you are feeling in a raunchy mood, why not take control in the reverse cowgirl position?

This position is fairly simple. Just get him to lie down and then mount him as if you would a horse but facing his feet. Gently lower yourself onto him and then ride him like you’ve never ridden before! [Read: How to do the reverse cowgirl: 12 must-know tips and tricks]

#4 The mile-high club. This is the perfect position if you fancy sneaking off for a quicky at a party. It works in a confined space and feels super naughty.

To do this right, simply grab your man and head to the nearest bathroom. Then just stand facing the mirror and get your man to enter you from behind. The fact that you both see yourselves in the reflection is a serious turn on and certain to win you some major brownie points with your man. [Read: 15 sexy ways to have the best quickie every single time]

#5 The couch surfer. This sex position isn’t as lazy as it sounds! This is great for couples who want to be a bit more adventurous but aren’t quite ready to expand their sexual repertoire to public places just yet!

Here you simply bend over the arm of the couch and let your man enter you from behind. If you cross your ankles this will make you tighter around him and what’s even better is if your sofa’s nice and soft, it should be pretty comfy too!

#6 The push up. This is a bit of a twist on the classic missionary position. You lie on the bed and have your man enter you. Then once he is inside, get him to lift his torso, putting the weight on his hands as he thrusts deeper still.

This lifts his weight off you, giving him a good view of your chest. You will be able to maintain eye contact, and it makes him feel all manly and strong, especially if you swoon at his awesome six pack! [Read: 8 ways to make missionary sex magical]

#7 The simple pillow trick. Sometimes all that’s needed to spice up one’s sex life is to look at things from a different angle. Use a pillow under your back to tilt your pelvis upwards. The different angle makes all the difference, providing deeper penetration that is sure to please your man. [Read: Easy sex positions that won’t break your neck – or worse!]

#8 The spoon. For a more romantic twist on your usual sexual position, lie on your side and get him to come up close behind you and enter you while wrapping his arms around you tightly. Once you are in position, move gently together in circular thrusts and build up to a dramatic climax.

This makes you feel super close and sexy together which no doubt makes him feel all warm and mushy inside! Try synchronizing your breathing to add even more intimacy to this one. [Read: Spooning sex – 15 ways to make it hotter than any other position]

#9 Position X. If you want to try a sex position that really builds up arousal and makes you feel hot, horny, and closer together, then position X is definitely one to try. To do this, get your man to sit on the bed facing you, and you do the same, both with your legs facing forwards. You lift your right leg over his left leg, and he should lift his left leg over your right.

Then move towards one another until your man is inside you. Both of you then lie back with your legs forming an X. Thrust in a slow and leisurely style, building up arousal, and heightening pleasure as you do so. [Read: 10 intimate sex positions to feel the romance in the bedroom]

#10 Anywhere outdoors. Okay, so we might be grouping these together a little bit, and technically it’s not a sex ‘position’ but if you really want to get creative with your sex life then head into the great outdoors. See what weird and wonderful places you can find to do it in.

Having sex in nature feels adventurous and fun. Simply trying to sneak around doing it in places where you may or may not get caught also adds a bit of spice and sense of danger to your sex life which makes it feel fresh, intimate, and spontaneous once more!

[Read: The 20 best and hottest places for outdoor sex]

There you have it, ten fantastic new sexual positions to impress your man. They are adventurous, stimulating, and a whole lot of fun to try out with your man. Some might take a bit of practice to perfect, but if you work on them then you’re sure to impress your man big time!

The post Sexual Positions to Impress Your Man: 10 Moves to Rock His World is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Article from: LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships, by Bethany Cadman

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Sunday, June 25, 2017

The Most Important Relationship You’ll Ever Have

reflectDo a Google search of the word relationships and you’ll find about 178,000,000 articles, links and sites on the topic.

Interestingly though, you won’t find many links and articles on the most important relationship you’ll ever have – the one you have with yourself.

The relationship you have with yourself has a tremendous impact on your life.

Your self esteem, personal outlook, drive, and even mental health is largely shaped by this relationship.

Why is this the most important relationship you’ll ever have?

Your external world tends to be a reflection of your internal world.

So this relationship will ultimately determine how people see you. If you see yourself as below average, unsuccessful, or a failure, then you’ll exuded these qualities in your energy, and people in your life will see you exactly the same way, plus you’ll tend to attract circumstances and events to support this self image.

The same is also a true for a positive self image. Without a healthy self image, your personal development efforts will not be nearly as successful.

The parallel to our external relationships is equally important. More important than how you relate others is how you relate to yourself.

4 Ways to Improve Your Relationship with Yourself

A negative self image can result from a number of different things in life.

What caused the failure is not as important as focusing on how you respond to it. Think of this way. Where you came from isn’t nearly as important as where you are going. Or, what happened is not as important as how you responded to the incident. There are several different ways to begin repairing a negative relationship with yourself.

1. Self Talk

Self talk, or mental affirmations are perhaps the most commonly used tool to make changes in life. It’s been said that if you lie to yourself enough, eventually you will start to believe that lie. The reverse is also true. The beauty of the human brain is that it will go where it is told to go.

Try this: rather than reacting to the fear surrounding an anxious event in life, repeatedly tell yourself that you can handle whatever may happen during the event. Your self talk can dramatically increase your mood, resolve, drive, and even ability to perform in life’s situations.

2. Visualization

This technique is used by a wide range of people, from athletes to professional speakers, to enhance their performance. One of the beautiful things about our brain is that is can not distinguish between experiences that are vividly imagined, and those that actually happened. Have you ever had a dream and a few days later you couldn’t figure out whether or not it was something that actually happened? This is exactly what is happening in the visualization process.

Taking conscious control of the mental pictures you are making in your head gives you power over the results that occur in your life. The key to using visualization successfully is repetition (just like self talk). By visualizing a new, empowering self on a daily basis, your mind will eventually accept it as reality, and the external world you see will follow.

3. Mind Movies

Given the rapid pace at which new technology has developed, people are finding many innovative ways to take combine visualization and affirmations. Mind movies are an excellent technique for doing that. The concept of a mind movie is very simple. First you develop a list of affirmations for all the things that you want in your life. Then, find pictures to match all of the affirmations you have written down. Combine the pictures and affirmations with some upbeat music and you have a mind movie.

What’s great about this technique is it eases the burden of trying to picture something in your head since you have a picture right in front of you and the affirmation to go with it.

4. Meditation and prayer

Slowing the mind and the body down to the natural rhythms of life will boost your mood and self image. It’s almost impossible to be in a state of calm and peace without a solid self image.

One of the best ways to obtain this state of being is through mediation and/or prayer. Connecting to a higher source and recognizing the interconnectedness of the world provides a great perspective for life. It helps to know you are connected to the things around you, as well as know you are a part of God’s creation.

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Adapted from Dumb Little Man

The post The Most Important Relationship You’ll Ever Have appeared first on Simple Marriage.

Article from: Simple Marriage, by Corey

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Senior Online Dating through Life Begins

For the game of love, it never ends with any number. Even if you’re 50, 60, or 70, you can still be a hot commodity in the market. It’s all in finding the right market for you. And for anyone looking for a senior online dating hotspot, you have to be knowledgeable of what you are bound to expect.

Keeping an open mind is important when you are dating this late in the game. It’s not about the looks anymore, as anybody is bound to catch you off your feet with a few words or even at first sight. Never underestimate the power of experience. With the people you are bound to meet and be acquainted with, you want people whom you can share a commonality with. Maybe you’re either single parents or you just could not find time for love after years and years of working so hard. All of these can be factors as to what is to be expected out of your mate.

Yes, the internet provides different ways to connect with people, but only Life Begins will give you that specific senior online dating that you need. Naturally at this age, you want to get connected with people who are in the same situation as you are. This website will give you a host of numerous users whom you can get connected with through a simple click of the button. And to make your senior online dating a lot more specific, their search engine allows you to give details on what you want to expect.

The best part about Life Begins is that creating an account is free. So you can date and log on all you want without ever having to worry about the costs. Truly, dating has never been this easy for seniors! For more information, check out http://ift.tt/2sbFf6A

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Saturday, June 24, 2017

Long Term Teenage Relationship Problems

Long term teenage relationship problems are becoming very common nowadays. These problems are usually full of drama and can cause a lot of collateral problems in the school and the teenagers’ family. Some long term teenage relationship problems can even lead to drug abuse or suicides. If not addressed properly and early enough, long term teenage relationships can adversely impact the emotional and psychological health and growth of the teenager.

Attracted to the opposite sex

It is normal for young people to be attracted to the opposite sex and develop infatuation or romantic feelings. But the question that needs to be asked is how serious should the relationship become? Is there a boundary for a teenage relationship?

Period of getting to know oneself

Teenagers are young, passionate, adventurous and oftentimes, idealistic. With limited experience, most teens are inward looking. The ego is strong. Understandably, this is the period of getting to know oneself, of exploration and trying out new things. Many honestly think that they completely know life and its meaning, while the truth is, this is the period when the teen is going through dilemmas about himself, with self-doubts, lack of confidence, fear of the future and still in the process of developing unconditional love for self.

Unconditional love

For any relationship to really work, both parties should be self-confident, generous, empathetic to the other person’s feelings and capable of unconditional love for self first. This love will eventually overflow to fill up the romantic partner’s life.

Secure and self-assured

In psychology, there’s a saying: “I’m OK, You’re OK, and We’re OK.” A successful relationship starts with each party coming into the relationship as emotionally mature and full, so that each will be able to give and receive without a need to demand. If both parties are secure and self-assured, the ego won’t get in the way of the healthy and successful relationship.

Teens have emotional needs

The problem with teens is that this is the point in time when they are still growing. Normally, there is a vacuum inside that needs to be filled up first. The teens have emotional needs which they seek from other people instead of drawing from within. Their dependence on the partner for happiness, peace, feeling loved and needed usually cause the long term teenage relationship problems. This problem is further magnified when the girl starts to think of a permanent long term relationship and the guy still thinks of friends, sports and parties. The girl demands more time and attention while the boy thinks that the girl is overbearing and the relationship is constricting him. This is when arguments erupt, and drama unfolds.

Adults don’t understand

Most teens think that adults don’t understand them. And this is the biggest road block for them to communicate with their parents and turn to adults for guidance. Unbeknownst to them, the parents and other responsible adults are the best sources of romantic wisdom. The parents have gone through the teenage relationships — the fun times and the bad times, the joys and pains and the victories and failures of romantic relationships. If only the teens could see that there are so much nuggets of wisdom that lay along the path that their parents took. All they have to do is pick up those nuggets so that they can build upon all the mistakes that their parents went through. The teens need not go through the same mistakes. They can avoid them by learning from their parents. And follow what the parents did right. The parents can empathize with the teens. Communication and willingness to listen are important.

Teenage pregnancies

Long term teenage relationship problems can also result to irreversible circumstances like teenage pregnancies. At this point, the relationship is not only affecting the teens and their respective families, but the future of the unborn child.

Going out in group dates

To avoid long term teenage relationship problems, the teens themselves should have the proper perspective on the nature of relationship that they are embarking on. It is best to take things slowly and to start building a strong friendship first. Going out in group dates would help a lot because they can get to know each others’ hobbies and preferences in a fun and friendly atmosphere. Both should also understand that they do not know what the future holds and that they have yet to meet more interesting and possibly more attractive people when they go to college or find work. With that taken into account, they are now only choosing the best among the small populace of people that they know at their young age. They might be surprised later to see a much better fit or even a perfect match when they grow older and meet more people. Should they realize years later that they indeed truly love each other, that they are the perfect match and can live with each other’s greatness and flaws, then that would be the time to decide to commit to a long term romantic relationship.

Giving the children the pros and cons

It is advisable though for parents to start talking with their children as early as late teens regarding future romantic relationships. The most important way to minimize, if not completely avoid, long term teenage relationship problems is for parents to start impressing upon the young minds of their children that they are the best guide and advisors when the teens start to think of getting involved in romantic relationships.

Conclusion: By giving the children the pros and cons, and a sounding board and an empathetic advisor, the kids will be able to go into healthy relationships without falling into any serious long term teenage relationship problems.

The author grants full reprint rights to this article. You may reprint and electronically distribute this article so long as its contents remain unchanged, and the author’s byline remains in place. Francis is the owner of http://ift.tt/2sCQLeG if you want more information on relationship in your life you can find at: http://ift.tt/2s7CCTu

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The Pleasure Of Hating


There is no end of commentary on the venom and vitriol that is so characteristic of contemporary politics. Though history shows that current American politics remain tame compared to the unhinged fury of 19th century brand, the civility industry is always primed to express umbrage at what it perceives as the latest “new low” or injury to common decency.

I for one am unwilling to join this chronic choiring of voices calling for the better angels of our nature to prevail. I wholly embrace my hate; for my capacity to hate is inextricably tied to my capacity to love. As long as there are things in life that I love with passion and fire; there are things that I will hate with the same intensity.

The English journalist, essayist, and critic William Hazlitt best explained this condition in his marvelous little essay “On The Pleasure Of Hating”:

“Nature seems (the more we look into it) made up of antipathies: without something to hate, we should lose the very spring of thought and action. Life would turn into a stagnant pool, were it not ruffled by the jarring interests, the unruly passions, of men.”

Those who go around saying—as though pathologically driven to do so—that we should always respect our opponent’s point of view ask the impossible. The people who agree with them either love nothing or love only the personal and private, which is irrelevant in politics.

Another great observation by Hazlitt: “Love turns, with a little indulgence, to indifference or disgust: hatred alone is immortal.”

There is a great deal of truth in this sentiment. A genuine hatred rarely if ever burns out. And the feeling should not be as denigrated as it is at the moment.

The obvious rejoinder to this claim, and the entire premise of my argument, is the catastrophic results of the mass racial and religious hatreds of the past. But there are two things to say about these in relation to the kind of, shall we say, legitimate hating I’m talking about.

Hating is violent feeling, not violent action. You can hate ideas, objects, and even people without doing violence against them; and no, the one does not necessarily lead to the other. The second thing to note is that hatred directed indifferently toward people and ideals of all kinds is a mental sickness; it is not the hate which constitutes a perfectly healthy response to what is stupid, oppressive, tyrannical, ugly, tiresome, and degenerate—in short, to whatever is anathema to the art of good living and thinking.

My pleasure in hating consists of an exhilaration that comes from thinking of all my objections to bad ideas and contemptible people; it is a feeling of exuberance that washes over me whenever I take verbal fire and sword into the midst of the ignorant and dishonest, the greedy and selfish, the cowardly and disingenuous, the superstitious and self-righteous. My pleasure in hating is a thrill, a joy, a burgeoning excitement at the rightness of my own indignation.

My friends, there is pleasure in hating. It is natural; it is both human and humane. You should embrace it, express it, and never deny it.

Article from: TSB Magazine | Dating and Lifestyle Advice for Men, by Christopher Reid

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Friday, June 23, 2017

How Can I Meet College Girls Online For Dating?

Oftentimes it can be really hard for a guy to find a girl for dating reasons – and this level of difficulty doesn’t seem to change when they are in college either. Actually it might be even harder to find the right girl! Maybe you are looking for a girl that goes to your college or maybe you are looking for any college girl, the best suggestion I could possibly give you is to check on these personals websites. I’ts a great way to meet younger girls or even date college girls. This could even be a good way for an older guy to meet college girls if he likes to date younger girls. The process is super simple. The first thing you have to do is fill out a profile. This is mandatory because they have to at least know your location, age, sex, etc.

You might even be asked to fill out other things as well such as what you do for a living, how much you make, what you like to do for fun, etc. They might even ask what you like in a partner this can range from things such as sex, age, location, weight, race and more. If you really want to find a girl for dating I would recommend that you just be completely honest on your personal profile and what you are looking for. Can’t find who you want unless you put it out there, right?!? Photos are another big thing on dating sites. You need to make sure that you put up a photo of yourself so that girls who visit your profile know what you look like. Even if you don’t find yourself to be the “hot guy” another girl just might! That’s the great thing about dating – everyone likes something different.

So just because one girl doesn’t like something about you doesn’t mean every girl won’t! If you want to take a chance at love or to just date around these sites are the perfect fit for you! You might even find other things on these sites as well. Things such as activities, quizzes, different options for communication (IM, PM, mail), tips, articles, hints about dating and dating guides. Some sites will have free options while others will have paid options. If you do have to pay I can tell you that it will be well worth it in the end. So say for example on the free membership you can only send three emails, and 4 “kisses” to a girl. If you get the paid it might give you unlimited of both plus an addition of other fine options as well!

This Author is a huge fan of college dating online

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A Broken Heart Can Prove To Be Fatal andamp We Agree So Hard It Hurts

‘The Notebook’, a novel by Nicholas Sparks and a movie, starring Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams, sees the lead pair growing old and dying together. Debbie Reynolds died exactly one day after her daughter, Carrie Fisher, in December. And the reason for her death remains unknown. There have been very rare cases where we come across couples dying within months, days, or even hours of one another. And it’s not just in movies. Every once in a while you’ll find a rarity like this and it only ever happens with a couple, or two people who share a blood relation that is strengthened by their love for each other. It’s never random, not even when the cause of death seems to be uncertain.

A Broken Heart Can Prove To Be Fatal & We Agree So Hard It Hurts© Pexels

Broken Hearts Syndrome is real. A broken heart can cause long-term damage to the heart; and in some cases, it can lead to death. A study funded by the British Heart Foundation had a team of medical researchers from the University of Aberdeen follow 52 patients, aged between 28 and 87, suffering with what is called takotsubo cardiomyopathy, over a period of 4 months. The study has been published in the Journal of the American Society of Echocardiography. The term that was originally coined in Japan in 1990, is said to be aggravated when the heart muscle is stunned or shocked suddenly, causing the left ventricle to change its shape due to ‘intense emotional or physical stress’. Triggers include emotional distress, including, but not limited to, the death of a loved one.

The BHF defined the condition as temporary condition where your heart muscle becomes suddenly weakened or stunned. The left ventricle, one of the heart’s chambers, changes shape. The condition that can even cause temporary heart failure disrupts the heart’s ability to pump blood. The British Heart Foundation went on to state that the condition has no known medical cure. Hearts do break and when that happens, it never works the same way again—not emotionally, and now we know that neither does it function effectively in the physical sense, either. This research is important not only to establish the fact that hearts once broken can actually cause severe physical damage to people; but also to prove that the human heart cannot always fully recover from such conditions, as was previously perceived. 

A Broken Heart Can Prove To Be Fatal & We Agree So Hard It Hurts© Pexels

“This study has shown that in some patients who develop takotsubo cardiomyopathy, various aspects of heart function remain abnormal for up to four months afterwards,” said Professor Metin Avkiran, associate medical director at the BHF, in an interview with the Telegraph. “Worryingly, these patients’ hearts appear to show a form of scarring, indicating that full recovery may take much longer, or indeed may not occur, with current care. This highlights the need to urgently find new and more effective treatments for this devastating condition.”

Using ultrasounds and cardiac MRIs, the researchers at Aberdeen University concluded that the syndrome had a permanent affect on the heart’s pumping motion and delayed the “wringing” or vibratory motion that the heart makes while beating. The condition is also said to hamper the heart’s squeezing, as well as cause scarring on the heart’s muscles in a way that prevented it from proper contraction.

A Broken Heart Can Prove To Be Fatal & We Agree So Hard It Hurts© Pexels

While in a majority of cases, the left ventricle slowly returns to its normal shape over the next few days, months, or years, according to statistics, of the people suffering from takotsubo, or broken heart syndrome, anywhere between 3 to 17 per cent of them die within 5 years of being diagnosed. 90 per cent of these are said to be female which isn’t surprising really, since women do tend to feel and be more sensitive emotionally.

“We used to think that people who suffered from takotsubo cardiomyopathy would fully recover, without medical intervention. Here we’ve shown that this disease has much longer lasting damaging effects on the hearts of those who suffer from it,” said Dr Dana Dawson, reader in cardiovascular medicine at the University of Aberdeen. About 3 years ago, research in relation to this was conducted at JAMA Internal Medicine, that showed that the number of people having a heart attack or a stroke in the month right after the death of a loved-one was double compared to that of a matched control group who were not grieving. The figures were recorded as 50 out of 30,447 in the bereaved group, or 0.16%, compared with 67 out of 83,588 in the non-bereaved group, or 0.08%. Speaking about the study, Dr Sunil Shah of St George’s at the University of London, told the BBC, “We often use the term a ‘broken heart’ to signify the pain of losing a loved-one and our study shows that bereavement can have a direct effect on the health of the heart.”

A Broken Heart Can Prove To Be Fatal & We Agree So Hard It Hurts© Alamy

Some researchers seem to think that because a mutually supportive marriage acts as a buffer against stress and other negative factors, the loss of such a partner could prove to have long-term damaging effects.

Go ahead and give it a poetic and melancholic twist to sound like romantics. And if you’re among the ones who still brush this off as just another scientific study, that’s all good for you; just try not to be the reason why someone else has a broken heart though. Okay? 

Article from: RELATIONSHIPS, by Dessidre Fleming

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Thursday, June 22, 2017

What Should You Learn Regarding Senior’s Health

As one progresses in age, he retreats in wellness or physical fitness. While seniors are usually counseled to keep fit, this is rarely the case . A lot of natural changes happen in the body as it moves toward fragility. As an example, the bones and muscular tissues lose their potential lowering the endurance of the body, the kidneys as well as other internal organs start malfunctioning plus the vitality of the skin recedes.

But the truth is that health is actually wealth at every point of lifetime. It is more vital when one enters in the seniors group since there are few caretakers in those times. So, older people have to give full attention to health and fitness whenever possible. There are actually numerous ways in which the elderly can enjoy a good physical and mental health.

1.Health Insurance- it is the first and foremost requirement of every senior citizen. A medical insurance is the greatest friend in the time of need. It is able to provide your household the financial assistance in hardest periods of your life.

But you need to be very mindful in investing in a health care policy. The plan that facilitates maximum benefits should be adopted.

2.Diet and Exercise- the diet of individual varies with the age along with other elements. Nevertheless at an older age, a person need to be extra thorough in issues of eating. This happens because, the antibodies or the immunity system receives a setback in this age and one becomes more prone to all sorts of illnesses. The dietary plan thus needs to be thriving in vitamins, minerals, proteins and carbohydrate food. Fat must be totally avoided as they make one susceptible to numerous diseases mainly cardiovascular illnesses. There must be a supplementary intake of calcium to support the diluting bones.

However a rich diet plan isn’t enough. Some exercises ought to be a part of everyday routine in this age. People have to be extra cautious about movements of their limbs for the natural strength and the illness fighting ability of the body keeps on going in older ages.

3.Avoid stress. Anxiety is as damaging as any other transmittable illness. Do not stoop to prescription drugs named stress reducers. Consult a psychiatrist if conditions run out of control.

4. Make friends. Indeed even as a senior it isn’t too late to make new friends. This will help your disposition and also keep your body active with dates, meetings and social events.

If you want to meet seniors online I do suggest you take some time to read resources about senior online dating

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Is Lezing Out Cheating?


This question occurred to me after speaking with one of the bartenders at my local café-bar the other day. She is quite an attractive woman: young, tall, long honey brown hair, a set of upright perky tits, and a round, graspable, perfectly cleft ass. She is conservative and conventional in manner: educated, reserved, and well-groomed—the kind of girl who seems destined for housewifery and motherhood. She often flirts with me, and when I am able to break from writing I reciprocate her attentions.

The restaurant was quiet on the day in question, and we were making what I thought would be small talk. She casually let drop that she had a date that night, and so I accepted what was an obvious invitation to sift through our respective private lives—which is, in case you’ve never noticed, a not so subtle form of flirting.

Our chat soon led to her relationship status. She had recently broken up with a live-in boyfriend and was just now getting back into dating. She went on to tell me how difficult and awkward the whole thing was and that her roommates had encouraged her to join Tinder. This disclosure led to a surprising confession. She told me she joined Tinder mostly out of a desire to meet women. She also said that one of the reasons for her recent break-up was a one-night stand she had with a girl.

I took the news in my stride and appeared as though un-phased by it. In truth, I was anything but unmoved. Her revelation sent a twinge of pleasure and excitement up my spine. I have no doubt that this girl is really into men; but, as further discussion revealed, she is also really into women. Bi girls and guys usually lean heavily toward one or the other. Not this girl; she seemed to want both in equal measure.

This got me to thinking about the conditions of dating and sexuality in modern life. If your girlfriend hooks up with another girl, should you consider it cheating?

There are a few factors to weigh before answering this question. First, the tribes of homo and hetero sexuality are breaking up; or at least, they are not as clearly defined and tightly wound as they once were. More and more women, especially Gen Y women, are identifying as bi-sexual or refuse any label at all. That means your girlfriend may have already had one or two dalliances with women before meeting you.

This leads to the second, and more pressing, issue. Traditionally, cheating has been thought to consist of physical intimacy with the opposite sex. We must now re-evaluate this assumption. I suspect that for a woman in a relationship with a man, same-sex cheating remains cheating. For men, things are a bit more complex.

Admit it. The thought of your girl with another girl is hot. But therein lays the problem: you want to be part of the lez out. And this brings us to the third and final issue.

If your girl is willing to let you join her with another girl, then that’s just a standard threesome. If, however, she insists on having separate sexual relations with women, then she is playing you. The two of you should talk the matter through. Do not assume anything. Even if she is lezing out with lesbians rather than other straight girls, she may be open to the two of you becoming swingers—that is, finding other girls willing to do both of you at the same time.

It is therefore right to conclude that your girl’s lezing out is only cheating if she keeps it a secret and is unwilling to share.

Article from: TSB Magazine | Dating and Lifestyle Advice for Men, by Christopher Reid

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Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Platonic Relationship the Good and Bad

Platonic Relationship is an intimate relationship between man and woman without the romantic or sexual intimacy. The questions that normally arise whenever this topic is raised are: 1) Is it possible; and 2) what are the good and bad that come with it?

Is it really possible

Is it really possible to have a platonic relationship? Many people, including famous celebrities, claim that they indeed enjoy special friendships with the opposite sex. They do things together; some even share the same apartment or room without being attracted to get into bed. But psychologists argue that while it is possible for platonic relationships to exist, if mishandled, they will only end up in either of the two results: a happy ending wherein both parties eventually realize that they have more than just platonic love, then move forward to a romantic relationship and live happily ever after; or one of the couple realizes that he or she wants more than just plain friendship but the other doesn’t and eventually destroys the platonic relationship, with one of them deeply heartbroken.

Another opposing idea that some relationship psychologists point out is that men are naturally sexually attracted to the opposite sex. With the genetic and psychological makeup of a man plus the pheromones that are part and parcel of a human being, there is no way that men and women can maintain a platonic relationship for life. And when lust or romantic love set in, the possibility of losing the friendship and being hurt come into the picture as the platonic relationship walk out the door.

So why take the risk? Why should you get into a platonic relationship? Let me share with you the good and bad that come with platonic relationship.

The Good

1) Having an “insider”
The book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus clearly states that people of the opposite sex don’t think and feel alike. Wouldn’t it be great if you have someone to ask all the questions about the mystifying behavior of the opposite sex? You will have someone who actually feels and understands how your romantic partner does. It’s like having a personal coach to help you solve the emotional and behavioral puzzles of the opposite sex.

2) Having a confidant without fear
Most men don’t want the mushy romantic discussions among themselves. And most of the time, it’s considered “unmanly” to even start talking about those stuff. Some women find it difficult to trust other women due to the tendency to compete and gossip. Having someone to pour out the hurt, doubts and sentimental feelings who you know is a friend who won’t judge you, is another plus in having a platonic relationship. You can confide without fear of being judged is one very good benefit.

3) The best relationships start as friends
The best marriages started out as friends. Sometimes, platonic relationships can bloom into a serious romantic relationship. Friendship is a very strong foundation for a lasting relationship because a lot of secrets have been shared in the past without fear of being judged. Trust has been established during the friendship stage. One very good thing that can result from a platonic relationship is the possibility of finding your one true love.

The Bad

1) Peer Pressure
No matter how you explain that both of you would prefer to stay in platonic level, there will be pressure from friends from both sides. Some would even say that it’s impossible that your platonic friend has no secret romantic love for you. Sometimes, these ideas can get to you. The problem starts when you cross the bridge only to be told by your platonic friend that he or she would rather stay just friends. At this point, both of you will feel uncomfortable with each other and the platonic relationship will never be the same again.

2) When lust creeps in
How does one ward off this thing from a platonic relationship? When lust starts, it can sometimes be misinterpreted as romantic attraction. You must ask yourself if what you are feeling is indeed love or lust. Can you risk losing your friend just because of a physical attraction? It would be very discomforting to maintain a platonic relationship if there is a very strong attraction every time you get to see your platonic friend. The best thing to do is to first identify what you are actually feeling and then communicate with your friend. Diffuse the attraction as early as possible unless you really want to take it to another level.

3) Jealousy
The society in general interprets any man-woman relationship as romantic or sexual. When platonic friends are married or have committed romantic relationships, the platonic relationship can take its toll on their respective committed relationships. The best way to handle this jealousy problem is to diffuse it early on. Make sure that your platonic friend is introduced to your spouse, preferably together with his or her partner. Go out on foursomes.

Conclusion: Don’t keep your platonic relationship a secret from your spouse. Is platonic relationship good or bad? It is a good healthy relationship if handled properly. Just like any relationship, open communication is the fundamental ingredient in keeping it strong and long lasting.

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The Importance of Connection

How to Deal with Domestic ViolenceI don’t suffer from depression, but I certainly have my moments of feeling down in the dumps. Sometimes it’s because I’m dealing with difficult issues, or life is just not going my way. Other times, it’s hard to pinpoint where my sadness comes from. Usually an upbeat person, these bouts leave me drained and tired, with no energy to do anything I don’t absolutely have to do. I just want to be alone.

But that never makes me feel better.

The reason, I believe, is that we all need to feel connected. Study after study reports that as social animals, humans need each other. We need to feel supported, valued, and loved. Those who have good relationships are happier, healthier, and live longer than those who report feeling lonely.

When I think of my own experiences, it’s amazing how connecting with someone, even briefly, can give me what I need to soldier on. For example, there are times I’ve felt as described above, and have been moping around at home. My phone rings. My impulse is to not answer it, but for some reason I do, and I hear a good friend’s voice on the other end. She’s just calling to say hello. We chat about nothing important for about five minutes, promise to get together soon, and say our good-byes.

My spirits have been lifted. I even smile as I remember something my friend and I just joked about. I decide to push myself and I get out of the house to take a walk. Some people smile at me as we pass and I smile back. I compliment a passerby on her sweater and stop to pet someone’s dog. By the time I arrive home I am feeling much better than I had been feeling before my phone rang.

We often think of connecting with others as having heart-to-heart talks where we share our deepest thoughts and emotions, or open up about hard-to-discuss feelings or events in our lives. This is certainly connecting, and is important for us all to do at times.

But connections can also be as simple as my walk. A pleasant interaction with a store clerk, a shared laugh-out-loud joke, even a text message to a family member, can all, to some degree, satisfy our innate need for community.

Unfortunately, many of us have almost totally replaced our face-to-face connections with virtual ones. We rack up friends on Facebook, and join all kinds of virtual community groups. We shop online, thereby limiting those pleasant interactions with store employees mentioned above. In fact, we often pride ourselves on our independence, on focusing solely on our own aspirations and desires, and on not needing anyone else. This trajectory might lead us to our personal goals, such as a successful career, but just might leave us feeling lonely as well.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t work hard to reach our goals. I just think there needs to be a balance. In living our lives and pursuing our dreams, we need to recognize how important basic human connections are to our well-being. Once we realize this, we can consciously work toward making these connections that are sure to enhance our lives. And it just might be as simple as going outside for a walk.


Article from: Relationships & Love – Psych Central, by Janet Singer

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