Platonic Relationship is an intimate relationship between man and woman without the romantic or sexual intimacy. The questions that normally arise whenever this topic is raised are: 1) Is it possible; and 2) what are the good and bad that come with it?
Is it really possible
Is it really possible to have a platonic relationship? Many people, including famous celebrities, claim that they indeed enjoy special friendships with the opposite sex. They do things together; some even share the same apartment or room without being attracted to get into bed. But psychologists argue that while it is possible for platonic relationships to exist, if mishandled, they will only end up in either of the two results: a happy ending wherein both parties eventually realize that they have more than just platonic love, then move forward to a romantic relationship and live happily ever after; or one of the couple realizes that he or she wants more than just plain friendship but the other doesn’t and eventually destroys the platonic relationship, with one of them deeply heartbroken.
Another opposing idea that some relationship psychologists point out is that men are naturally sexually attracted to the opposite sex. With the genetic and psychological makeup of a man plus the pheromones that are part and parcel of a human being, there is no way that men and women can maintain a platonic relationship for life. And when lust or romantic love set in, the possibility of losing the friendship and being hurt come into the picture as the platonic relationship walk out the door.
So why take the risk? Why should you get into a platonic relationship? Let me share with you the good and bad that come with platonic relationship.
The Good
1) Having an “insider”
The book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus clearly states that people of the opposite sex don’t think and feel alike. Wouldn’t it be great if you have someone to ask all the questions about the mystifying behavior of the opposite sex? You will have someone who actually feels and understands how your romantic partner does. It’s like having a personal coach to help you solve the emotional and behavioral puzzles of the opposite sex.
2) Having a confidant without fear
Most men don’t want the mushy romantic discussions among themselves. And most of the time, it’s considered “unmanly” to even start talking about those stuff. Some women find it difficult to trust other women due to the tendency to compete and gossip. Having someone to pour out the hurt, doubts and sentimental feelings who you know is a friend who won’t judge you, is another plus in having a platonic relationship. You can confide without fear of being judged is one very good benefit.
3) The best relationships start as friends
The best marriages started out as friends. Sometimes, platonic relationships can bloom into a serious romantic relationship. Friendship is a very strong foundation for a lasting relationship because a lot of secrets have been shared in the past without fear of being judged. Trust has been established during the friendship stage. One very good thing that can result from a platonic relationship is the possibility of finding your one true love.
The Bad
1) Peer Pressure
No matter how you explain that both of you would prefer to stay in platonic level, there will be pressure from friends from both sides. Some would even say that it’s impossible that your platonic friend has no secret romantic love for you. Sometimes, these ideas can get to you. The problem starts when you cross the bridge only to be told by your platonic friend that he or she would rather stay just friends. At this point, both of you will feel uncomfortable with each other and the platonic relationship will never be the same again.
2) When lust creeps in
How does one ward off this thing from a platonic relationship? When lust starts, it can sometimes be misinterpreted as romantic attraction. You must ask yourself if what you are feeling is indeed love or lust. Can you risk losing your friend just because of a physical attraction? It would be very discomforting to maintain a platonic relationship if there is a very strong attraction every time you get to see your platonic friend. The best thing to do is to first identify what you are actually feeling and then communicate with your friend. Diffuse the attraction as early as possible unless you really want to take it to another level.
3) Jealousy
The society in general interprets any man-woman relationship as romantic or sexual. When platonic friends are married or have committed romantic relationships, the platonic relationship can take its toll on their respective committed relationships. The best way to handle this jealousy problem is to diffuse it early on. Make sure that your platonic friend is introduced to your spouse, preferably together with his or her partner. Go out on foursomes.
Conclusion: Don’t keep your platonic relationship a secret from your spouse. Is platonic relationship good or bad? It is a good healthy relationship if handled properly. Just like any relationship, open communication is the fundamental ingredient in keeping it strong and long lasting.
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