Long term teenage relationship problems are becoming very common nowadays. These problems are usually full of drama and can cause a lot of collateral problems in the school and the teenagers’ family. Some long term teenage relationship problems can even lead to drug abuse or suicides. If not addressed properly and early enough, long term teenage relationships can adversely impact the emotional and psychological health and growth of the teenager.
Attracted to the opposite sex
It is normal for young people to be attracted to the opposite sex and develop infatuation or romantic feelings. But the question that needs to be asked is how serious should the relationship become? Is there a boundary for a teenage relationship?
Period of getting to know oneself
Teenagers are young, passionate, adventurous and oftentimes, idealistic. With limited experience, most teens are inward looking. The ego is strong. Understandably, this is the period of getting to know oneself, of exploration and trying out new things. Many honestly think that they completely know life and its meaning, while the truth is, this is the period when the teen is going through dilemmas about himself, with self-doubts, lack of confidence, fear of the future and still in the process of developing unconditional love for self.
Unconditional love
For any relationship to really work, both parties should be self-confident, generous, empathetic to the other person’s feelings and capable of unconditional love for self first. This love will eventually overflow to fill up the romantic partner’s life.
Secure and self-assured
In psychology, there’s a saying: “I’m OK, You’re OK, and We’re OK.” A successful relationship starts with each party coming into the relationship as emotionally mature and full, so that each will be able to give and receive without a need to demand. If both parties are secure and self-assured, the ego won’t get in the way of the healthy and successful relationship.
Teens have emotional needs
The problem with teens is that this is the point in time when they are still growing. Normally, there is a vacuum inside that needs to be filled up first. The teens have emotional needs which they seek from other people instead of drawing from within. Their dependence on the partner for happiness, peace, feeling loved and needed usually cause the long term teenage relationship problems. This problem is further magnified when the girl starts to think of a permanent long term relationship and the guy still thinks of friends, sports and parties. The girl demands more time and attention while the boy thinks that the girl is overbearing and the relationship is constricting him. This is when arguments erupt, and drama unfolds.
Adults don’t understand
Most teens think that adults don’t understand them. And this is the biggest road block for them to communicate with their parents and turn to adults for guidance. Unbeknownst to them, the parents and other responsible adults are the best sources of romantic wisdom. The parents have gone through the teenage relationships — the fun times and the bad times, the joys and pains and the victories and failures of romantic relationships. If only the teens could see that there are so much nuggets of wisdom that lay along the path that their parents took. All they have to do is pick up those nuggets so that they can build upon all the mistakes that their parents went through. The teens need not go through the same mistakes. They can avoid them by learning from their parents. And follow what the parents did right. The parents can empathize with the teens. Communication and willingness to listen are important.
Teenage pregnancies
Long term teenage relationship problems can also result to irreversible circumstances like teenage pregnancies. At this point, the relationship is not only affecting the teens and their respective families, but the future of the unborn child.
Going out in group dates
To avoid long term teenage relationship problems, the teens themselves should have the proper perspective on the nature of relationship that they are embarking on. It is best to take things slowly and to start building a strong friendship first. Going out in group dates would help a lot because they can get to know each others’ hobbies and preferences in a fun and friendly atmosphere. Both should also understand that they do not know what the future holds and that they have yet to meet more interesting and possibly more attractive people when they go to college or find work. With that taken into account, they are now only choosing the best among the small populace of people that they know at their young age. They might be surprised later to see a much better fit or even a perfect match when they grow older and meet more people. Should they realize years later that they indeed truly love each other, that they are the perfect match and can live with each other’s greatness and flaws, then that would be the time to decide to commit to a long term romantic relationship.
Giving the children the pros and cons
It is advisable though for parents to start talking with their children as early as late teens regarding future romantic relationships. The most important way to minimize, if not completely avoid, long term teenage relationship problems is for parents to start impressing upon the young minds of their children that they are the best guide and advisors when the teens start to think of getting involved in romantic relationships.
Conclusion: By giving the children the pros and cons, and a sounding board and an empathetic advisor, the kids will be able to go into healthy relationships without falling into any serious long term teenage relationship problems.
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