You meet someone special and it seems like everyday is Christmas. The chemistry between the two of you is so incredible and intense that you are thinking of putting a patent on it and selling it over the counter. You hope it will always be that way.
Of course it will not. In the early stages of a relationship everything flows easier. Love and romance seem to push aside all obstacles in their path. But as time goes by, reality sets in. No doubt that love should be an essential part of any relationship but it is going to require a lot of work and considerations in other areas to sustain and grow that love into something more concrete and lasting.
1. Self Sacrifice
It is not feasible to get your way all the time and expect to have a good relationship. You have to give in occasionally. Whether it is going out when you do not want to (you promised a week ago that you would) or washing the dishes even though it is not your turn, putting your partner first can truly strengthen the relationship.
Another thing to remember is avoid keeping score as some couples do. “I sacrificed last time, so it is your turn now.” It is perfectly normal to expect the other person to do some sacrificing also. Nobody wants to be a doormat. Still you should sacrifice for the other person because you really want to make them happy and not because you expect something in return.
2. Communication Effective
All the sugar coated words of love and romance will come to a screeching halt without good communication. Yes you sacrifice but it still bothers you that the other person does reciprocate. You do not say anything but all the while resentment is quietly building. One day you both are sitting at the breakfast table. Your partner asks you to pass the butter and you explode. Now the words start flying back and forth between the two of you. Things that have been on their mind now take center stage also. You are communicating alright and the message is clear: this relationship is in trouble.
If you are upset then do not let it fester. Tell your partner why as soon as possible. Do not turn it into an indictment of them and by all means do not start bringing up incidents from the past that also ticked you off. Stay focused on the topic at hand.
What’s more be ready to listen and try to understand their point of view. It does not mean you will agree on everything or even agree on the thing that made you upset. That is okay. If you got it out in the open, you should feel like a great weight has been lifted off of you. Try not to go into the situation with a full head of emotional steam. That only has a tendency to put the other person on the defensive. Prep yourself beforehand to maintain your cool as much as possible. Also go in with the idea that you have already forgiven your partner.
3. The Space
Sharing intimacy and affection on a regular basis is healthy for any relationship but so is giving the other person room. Being in close proximity to your partner an inordinate amount of time can feel downright claustrophobic. This is especially true in the world we live in now. All of us, it seems like are bombarded with people and information twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. Everyone needs quiet time to themselves and providing that sanctuary to your partner tells them you not only care but you respect them
There are going to be many bumpy roads in a relationship. That is just a fact of life. The strong love you have for each other will go a long way to getting you through but it needs help. Sacrificing, communication and giving space are just a few of the ingredients you will need to make it all work. You are in it for the duration so expect to work on these things today, tomorrow and everyday you two are together. After awhile it becomes second nature to the both of you.
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