Senior dating can be very challenging. For many people who have experienced a significant life event or found themselves in the dating pool when they didn’t expect it, there are many reasons to avoid it. Dating for older people is not the same as for younger people and entering the dating scene requires that a person have a clear idea of what they expect from their dating experience for it to be fun and fulfilling.
Setting realistic expectations is an important step in enjoying senior dating. Many people think that they want to get into a relationship after they have experienced a loss or significant life event when, in actuality, they just want someone to spend some quality time with. Maybe you want somebody you can go to the movies with, or enjoy activities with because you have never really done these things by yourself before. Learning to be alone can be difficult.
Having interests in common with your life made in very important. But, you don’t need to make a lifetime commitment to share interests with a person. Dating is best translated as spending limited periods of time with a person that you share interests with, without the expectation of moving the relationship to the “next” level.
When people get older a long term relationship relationship becomes less the focus than for many younger people. Many of us have spent our lives caring for others and when we enter the dating scene, we are not looking for a long term relationship. We are comfortable with the habits we have formed and a really good date ends with a bowl of ice cream and our favorite book with a cat in our lap. Staying “up” and “on” are not on our list of priorities.
Expecting to meet a senior that has no baggage is not realistic. People start collecting emotional and physical baggage from birth. By the time they reach senior dating, most have enough baggage to fill a freighter. Meeting a person that is great to spend time with and not expecting perfection is a key to enjoyable dating experiences as a senior.
If being set up on dates did not work when you were young, it is not going to be better now. Children always think they can set up parents because they have lived with them their whole lives and think they know them the best. However, our children don’t really know us. In many cases friends don’t really know us that well either.
There are several ways to meet dates that will be fun and meet your expectations once you know what you are looking for. Most of the time, when you are involved in activities in your local area, you will meet very interesting people to date or spend time with.
There are many websites available that offer senior dating opportunities. When you are considering using one of these sites, use the same types of caution that you tell your children to use. Check the site carefully to make sure that they are reputable. Don’t give out any personal information to a stranger on line. Remember that someone you meet online is a stranger. If you are going to meet someone you have contacted online be sure that you meet at a neutral location like a coffee shop before you make a commitment to meet for a lunch or dinner. And, most importantly remember to watch out for red flags. Independent people who are “wealthy”, fantastic looking, and smart will have the money to pay for their own coffee.
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