They say that “those who can’t do, teach” and while it normally applies to teachers… the same can be said of wingmen and wingwomen. Those who can’t or won’t try to get laid can still go out there and help their friends achieve those goals.
1. He doesn’t necessarily call himself a “wingman.” Oftentimes, wingmanning happens organically. While it’s possible a group of guys huddle up at a bar and formulate some kind of strategy (or, more likely, someone swears a very serious oath that they’re going to help their friend out), oftentimes a wingman is just a guy who senses that his friend is into someone he just met and does his best not to get in the way.
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2. Wingmanning isn’t just about sex. He can wingman in the hopes he’ll help his friend get your number, or a date, or even a job in some cases. Wingmanning is just about being an active support system in a social setting and putting his friend’s needs above his own.
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3. The wingman’s job is to be human potpourri. When you enter a house, potpourri is there to make things smell pleasant, but not too good. It’s supposed to fade into the background. It can’t be too conspicuous. If you see potpourri out, the illusion is gone. It’s like, “Yo, I thought only old people had potpourri in their house. Does your house smell weird? Is that why you need this?” Similarly, a good wingman shouldn’t be detected. He’s just there to give his friend a little push, but if he’s too obvious or overpowering, the whole thing falls apart. That’s not to say that if a guy has or needs a wingman, it’s because he smells weird (although that’s entirely possible).
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4. He needs to be complimentary, but keep his friend humble. On the one hand, a wingman needs to boost his friend up. But his job isn’t to be a hype man. It’s his job to help break the ice and bring out the best in his bud. He’s also got to keep his friend in check and step in if he says something douchey or gets ahead of himself. A well-timed joke to cut him down a peg, or a good-natured “embarrassing” story are important tools in a wingman’s repertoire. It keeps his friend down to earth and can even be pretty endearing.
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5. It’s also his job to take a hint. If you’re sending out signs that you’re just not interested, it’s also a wingman’s role to make sure that message sinks in for his friend.
6. Being a wingman doesn’t mean he’s taken. The obvious choice for a wingman is someone out of the game. They’re often married or in a committed relationship, but not always.
7. Anyone can wingman. It’s definitely not just a guy thing, by any means. You’ve probably wing(wo)manned yourself, or had friends wingman for you. Hell, even a dog can be a wingman under the right circumstances.
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8. Wingmen have to be able to make a quick exit. It’s not like he can follow the both of you around all night. Eventually, he’d just become a third wheel. A good wingman bows out during the night with a quick and reassuring, “No, you go on ahead.”
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9. Introducing two people is not the same as wingmanning. Wingmanning requires concentrated effort. Putting two people and running away makes you a successful matchmaker, but it doesn’t make you a wingman.
10. Wingmen aren’t necessarily making a noble sacrifice. Wingmanning doesn’t mean said wingman is giving up his night all for the sake of his bro (or bros… wingmen can wing for multiple people). He can still mill about at the party or club and meet new people. It doesn’t always mean you’re playing the supporting role of the buddy in a rom-com.
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