They say opposites attract, but there’s way more to a relationship than just attraction. Whether you think things work best when you’re two peas in a pod or if you have totally different interests and personalities, one thing’s for sure: you can’t knock it till you try it. Here, nine women open up about what did or didn’t work about dating someone very different from them.
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1. “At first glance, people would say I’m the stoic and quiet one and my boyfriend is the fun, outgoing one. It’s true to a degree… but he really brings that side of me out. Part of the reason I love him is because he brings a side out of me that’s already there but needs a little push.” — Emily, 26
2. “It’s fun to date someone who is going to expose you to new things, while maintaining your individual interests and habits. In one of my longest relationships, my partner was a few years older and more of the homebody type, which meant that going out for drinks was something I could do with my friends. He was also really into working out, and I learned a lot from him. It’s something I still keep up with even though I was never into it before.” — Marissa, 27
3. “I’ve gone on a blind date that was my complete opposite in every way and it was the worst. I don’t think it’s so much that opposites attract as finding someone that complements you in certain aspects. But this guy I went out with was so smug and rude. I have a tattoo on my wrist that’s meant to be a tribute to my grandmother and is somewhat religious. He was making lots of comments about it. We had no common ground and nothing to talk about. He was a jerk.” — Rebecca, 27
4. “My boyfriend and I are the opposites in a lot of ways. I’m messy, he’s neat. I’m more calm and he’s hot-headed. He keeps the apartment clean and I can keep him focused and put things in perspective. There are tons of other ways that our differences work, but it works because we respect each other. We know our own strengths and weakness and we know how to work together.” — Kim, 26
5. “I ended up dating an old friend for a while who was very different from me. It was something that made for a great friendship but not a great relationship. We had a lot of fun together because we were such different people with a similar sense of humor. But it meant we also wanted very different things out of a relationship. He was very laid back in that sense and I’m the kind of person who gets very intense about the other person.” — Amanda, 28
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6. “My fiancé is very, incredibly talented but he’s more of a ‘Type B’ personality and I am not. It’s not that he wasn’t motivated before, but I think he was sort of afraid to go for his dream job. I pushed him hard and helped him with his resume and now he’s so much happier with the job he has now. I do think opposites attract and you can make each other stronger for it.” — Alexis, 26
7. “My husband and I are more like fire and water rather than oil and vinegar. We’re different but we understand how to work together. Some of that comes from a very slow learning process. For example, when he’s angry, my husband wants to talk things out and get to the root of the problem right then and there. I tend to need some time and space. He’s learned if we get in an argument to back away and give me time to myself first.” — Brittney, 29
8. “My ex was different from me in a lot of ways, but it worked because we got those differences. He’d go out with friends and that would give me time to read a book and decompress after work. It didn’t work out for other reasons, but I think opposites can be really good together.” — Alisha, 27
9. “My boyfriend now is so much more outgoing than me, but he also knows that sometimes social situations give me anxiety and so he’s so good and caring about making sure I’m OK. He checks in on me at parties, or will leave with me if he can tell I’m getting anxious.” — Courtney, 26
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