4 Signs That You’re About To Have An Affair

A one night stand, a brief fling, a night of wild, uninhibited, drink-fueled sex with a woman who is not your wife or girlfriend is one thing. Carrying on with another woman over a long period of time is quite another. The former may lead to the latter. But an affair is most likely to occur after a prolonged and subtle flirtation with a woman you know well.

It is easier than you think to get drawn into one. Whether you decide to cross the line of flirtation into actual sex is up to you, but you should not fool yourself into thinking it was something that “just happened”.

There are always signs that you are about to have an affair. Here are 4 of them.

1. You fantasize constantly about her

Most of us masturbate to different girls we see every day. Even when you are doing the wife or girlfriend, you may conjure the image of various hotties in your office or the coffee shop girls you see each afternoon. There is no real danger here. It is typical male behavior.

However, if your mind wonders very little from one particular woman, and if she is someone with whom you speak and socialize regularly, you ought to take heed; for you are on the path to an affair.

2. You encourage her to speak about her dating life

It is hard to control your instincts and impulses when you around a woman you like. One minute you may be talking about work-related issues or what’s happening in the news; a few hours and many more drinks may lead you to ask about her dating life. If she responds to the question positively, it may become a regular topic of conversation.

How does that push you closer to having an affair? It associates you with sex in her mind. If she is a serial dater, if she never seems to find the right guy, it may be a sign that it is you that she desires; and she wants you to know that.

3. She suggests having dinner with you and your significant other

If a girl you know is really into you, meeting your partner may seem like the last thing she would want. However, there are good reasons for her to make this move. It is a way of inserting herself into the most intimate part of your life. It is a stroke of boldness. It is a way of pushing herself from the margins of your life to the very center of it. And besides, meeting your partner allows her to size up the competition: it gives her a means of finding out what she can give you that your partner can’t.

4. The two of you experience awkward moments of sexual tension

A succession of awkward moments filled with sexual tension is the most definitive sign that you are on the brink of having an affair. Those breaks in conversation that are bridged over with smiles; the partings in which the hug or cheek kiss lingers a bit too long; the accidental brush up that seems to be no accident at all—these are signs that there is something going on between the two of you. What you do about it must eventually be decided. But there should be no mistake as to what is happening: you are being drawn into having an affair with another woman.
Article from: TSB Magazine | Dating and Lifestyle Advice for Men, by Christopher Reid

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How To Date A Feminist

It’s 2015, and fewer and fewer people are shying away from identifying themselves as feminists.

Beyoncé performed at last year’s VMAs in front of giant, all-caps lettering spelling out the word “FEMINIST”; Buzzfeed, an enormously popular media outlet, recently expressed unflinching support for the movement; and an increasing number of people is willing to adopt the label compared to a decade a…
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Can You Ever Stop Loving Someone?

Though the question seems out of place in a men’s magazine, I ask you, my brothers, to think seriously about it.

We are men. Testosterone drives us to hunt, to protect, to act out in all sorts of aggressive ways; it is partly responsible for the greater development of our muscle mass, the density of our bone structure, the hair on our faces and chest, and the desire to protect what is ours—to defend our hearth and home, our women and children.

The masculine chemical also makes it harder for us to form lasting and permanent attachments to mates. We can fuck anyone. From puberty onwards, we are able and more than willing to nail anything with tits and ass. But, as we all know, sex is not the same thing as love; nor is it even an outgrowth of it.

Love for a man is more than a strong feeling. It is a state, a condition, a force that changes us in ways that can be difficult to deal with. If you have ever been in love, then you probably have some sympathy with what I’m getting at.

Working hard, making sacrifices, striving and struggling against your peers and colleagues, building up your resources so that you can purchase a stake in the world are all things you’ve done to gain greater control over your life. The feeling comes naturally. You have a will and wish to assert it.

But this priority comes crashing down when you fall in love. Suddenly you find yourself out of control, in a way that is irrepressible. You are enthralled to another person; your life influenced and guided by their will; your sense of confidence, pleasure, and satisfaction determined by changes in their every whim and fancy. I don’t say that career women, who constitute the majority of our sisters, do not face similar difficulties. But the descent from absolute control to relative control is not as hard for them.

Love for a man is a kind of existential shock from which he never really recovers.

That is why I pose the question: can you ever stop loving someone? I say no. Circumstances may make it impossible for you to be together; you may have fucked up and given her good cause to leave you or the passion and affection may have been so intense and overwhelming that it became impossible to actually make a life together. Whatever it was that drove you apart, you can never really disavow and put out of your heart any woman who got close to it.

I know for certain that if any of the three women I’ve been in love with were to show up at my doorstep right now I would be powerless to resist them. I would feel the pang, the nagging sensation of desperation mixed with longing that one feels when in love. I know that they would have power over me. How far I would go to please them is hard to say. But the feeling is there; it is irrevocable, undeniable.

If you are finding it hard to get over an ex, you should perhaps view things in a different light. It may be the case that you actually love her and have been too stubborn to admit it. If that is the case, then you will not get over her. You will move on, you will meet new women and enjoy a life filled with sexual and romantic adventure. However, once you’re in love, you can never free yourself completely from the object of your affection.
Article from: TSB Magazine | Dating and Lifestyle Advice for Men, by Christopher Reid

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Why You Should Stop Being a Good Person

“You’re such a good boy, Daniel.”

“Sarah, that was a nice thing you did. You’re a sweetheart.”

Did you hear phrases like this when you were younger? If you’re a parent, have you said something similar to your child?

This form of praising starts in early childhood. Our parents, family members, and teachers innocently install it in us (as the prior generation did to them).

“Good boy/girl” praising gives children a sense of pride and approval from their parents.

This praising gets anchored into the child’s mind. Good behavior brings reward. Expressing negative emotions and unacceptable behavior (being bad) leads to punishment.

Sit Down, Sit Up Straight, and Mind Your Manners

All parents want well-behaved children. Yet, all children misbehave. The good boy/girl program is a tool parents use to inhibit misbehavior.

Although it works to a degree, as we’ll see, this belief in pure goodness hinders the individual’s psychological development into mature adulthood.

We all have a complete range of emotions and impulses — positive to negative. We each possess the capacity for love and hate, peace and anger, joy and depression.

Sure, we would prefer to experience only love, peace, and joy. But these qualities always come with their opposite. In early childhood, we lack the ability to repress this emotional energy. When parents instruct their children to be “good boys and girls” they’re forced to push down negative emotions and impulses their environment doesn’t accept.

This repression creates what analytic psychology calls a shadow. Children drag this bag of repressed emotions, qualities, and impulses behind them into adulthood.

How Good Intentions Turn into Poor Behavior

Psychology is beginning to understand the role of the unconscious mind.  

Studies show most of human behavior is unconscious. Consider what this means: we’re not aware of what’s motivating most of our actions, thoughts, and decisions.

As an example, take Kathleen Vohs’ research on money priming. If someone dropped a box of pencils as you walked by, would you help pick them up?

Vohs ran experiments to see how exposure to money (in this case, Monopoly money from the board game) affects people’s behavior. She found that when people were “primed” with Monopoly money, they picked up fewer pencils than when they weren’t exposed to money.

No way, you might exclaim. YOU might be unaware of your behavior. But I know what I’m doing and why I do it!

The human mind’s capacity for self-deception is infinite. People who believe in pure goodness are capable of the most unscrupulous evils. Outside of our awareness, our lesser qualities express themselves through our unconscious behavior.

Parents, for example, who believe they love their children unconditionally are often unaware of their repressed hatred toward them. This hatred influences the parent’s behavior and the child’s well-being.

When parents spoil their children, for instance, they encourage ego inflation and narcissistic tendencies. How many adults wrestle with these unnecessary afflictions?  

Parents and grandparents spoil their children because of unconscious guilt. They spoil not out of love, but because they fail to admit their feelings of hatred toward their children. (“I would never hate my child.”) Instead, they feel good about pleasing their children without concern for the long-term consequences of their children’s development or well-being.

It’s why the proverb says, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” In identifying yourself as a “good person,” you will consciously try to do only good for yourself and others. But your shadow side — all the unowned and unrecognized stuff in your psyche — finds a way of expressing itself whether you want it to or not.

The Good Person Program Always Turns Bad

Famed psychiatrist Carl Jung is often quoted saying, “I’d rather be whole than good.”

Individuals integrating their darker parts know about their “less-than-good” tendencies. They have a choice in how they respond to their environment. Those who perceive themselves to be purely “good people,” lack this choice. They often behave poorly while believing they act in the highest good.

When you ignore the feelings of hatred, for example, it often expresses itself without your awareness. You might shame someone with a quick glance of disapproval. Or, you might reject someone by avoiding eye contact. It may be subtle, but on a subconscious level, the recipient will feel the emotional message.

If you acknowledge and welcome the emotion of hatred, you can release it. Then, you can communicate with love or neutrality. If you ignore or deny the emotion, the feeling will express itself through you.

Trying to be a good person at all times is the surest route to depression and anxiety. Why? Because when we repress parts of what we are, those parts find ways to hijack our psyche. What we resist, grows stronger.

When You Free Yourself from This Belief System, This Will Happen

In letting go of the idea that you have to be a good person, you liberate yourself. Now, you can acknowledge and integrate all different aspects of yourself you previously denied. Doing so frees up a tremendous amount of creative energy you can direct towards your interests and dreams.

It can also heal your body, for the majority of our illnesses are caused by repressed emotions. Traditional Chinese Medicine and ancient Taoist practices like Qigong are built on this understanding. A few Western medical pioneers like Dr. John Sarno, author of The Mindbody Prescription, demonstrate this too.

Also, when you free yourself of this belief, your capacity to accept and forgive others will increase. As you observe your unconscious motivations, you’ll be more understanding of the behaviors of others.

The Good Person Litmus Test

The goal, as I see it, is total acceptance of yourself as you are.

In my process, I’ve found the “good person” programming to be formidable. As an only child, I was often praised, usually without merit. When I peer past all the false ideas of pure goodness, I often encounter resistance. But through continual self-reflection on my motives and behavior, I begin to see a less flattering, but more accurate reality.

To evaluate if you’re running the “good person” program, consider these questions:

1. Are you aware of the negative emotions that arise throughout the day?
2. Do you believe it’s wrong to feel hatred towards the people you love?
3. When you witness “poor behavior” in others (dishonesty, judgment, self-deception), to you acknowledge those same impulses within yourself?
4. Are you aware of frequent feelings of envy and jealousy (if you haven’t worked through them yet)?
5. Do you see yourself as a good person without accepting the darker parts of your personality?

Be honest. This is between you and you.

How to Dismantle the Good Person Program

First, realize that “I’m a good person,” is just a belief. Evaluate for yourself if this idea serves you.  

Second, if you determine this idea doesn’t serve you, let it go. It’s just an idea, a program someone gave you. It means nothing.

Third, consider installing a new belief, like, I am a whole being. I accept myself, including the darker parts. Accept that we are complex beings with opposing tensions within us. It’s okay to hate your children at times; it doesn’t mean you don’t also love them.

As Jungian Robert Johnson writes in his classic He:

“It seems that it is the purpose of evolution now to replace an image of perfection with the concept of completeness or wholeness. Perfection suggests something all pure, with no blemishes, dark spots, or questionable areas. Wholeness includes the darkness but combines it with the light elements into a totality more real and whole than any ideal.”

Fourth, watch your emotions and thoughts throughout the day, especially your the interaction with others.

To assist you with this process, mindfulness meditation is helpful. It will give you space between you and your unconscious impulses and feelings.

Shadow work exercises allow you to get to know and befriend your darker parts.

If you’re a dreamer, can you imagine a world where everyone owns his or her inner demons?  How much family tension would instantly unravel? What would happen to the divorce rate? Would there be war?

When someone asked Jung if World War III was inevitable, he said, “Such a war could only be avoided if a sufficient number of individuals could hold the opposites together within themselves.”

Article from: Relationships & Love – Psych Central, by Scott Jeffrey

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by Cate Storymoon

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How To Become A 21st Century Autodidact

Go to college! Get an education!

The above sentiments are commonly found in company with one another. In the present age, pursuing a university degree is bound up with the enrichment of mind. We have taken a curious turn in the last half century. The increasing access and availability of post-secondary schooling has made going through it a necessary condition of being considered educated. The meritocracy that we are constantly told about has little to do with merit in the sense of intellectual ability. It is instead a byword for those who have attained a four-year college degree.

The autodidact—the self-educated man—is no longer held in the esteem he once was. He has little prospect of advancing in business, government, or the professions. For a society that holds Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglass as heroes, as almost saint-like figures, we maintain a very strange attitude to the method of education largely responsible for making them what they became.

Why is the autodidact out of favor? The short answer is numbers. Society is big, its population huge. Organizations have too many people to choose from, so they must somehow narrow the field.

A college degree shows that a person is reliable enough to complete basic tasks and has the perseverance to see an undertaking through. Those who graduate from one of the higher ranking schools are viewed as being able to do these things to an even greater degree.

In reality, this is not necessarily the case. In my own experience—as someone who has gone to a supposedly elite school—the only things that those who have gone through such a system share are ambition, drive, confidence, and skill in networking. The development of intellect—the power and quality of mind that allows one to think, speak, and write clearly, coherently, and logically—is not a guaranteed result of graduating from a university.

It is nevertheless futile to resist the conditions and circumstances of modern society. That is why I believe a modification of what it means to be an autodidact is necessary.

You should pursue a four-year degree. You must possess this paper if you are to get anywhere in the world. Think of it as a union card, a way of showing the powers that be that you belong to the club.

When it comes to a genuine improvement of mind, only your initiative will do. Going to college is an opportunity to throw yourself into ideas, debate, and conversation. You must view lectures and reading lists as so many scattered elements of a foundation that will constitute your true education.

Self-education is the only true education. Wide and constant reading of books, the sorting and analysis of ideas, and the testing and evaluation of arguments, both yours and those put forward by others, is the only real path to a well-formed mind.

What does all this mean in practical terms?

It means discerning the basic categories of thought and drawing up a reading list consisting of the best that has ever been written in them. Literature, history, philosophy, science, and politics—no matter your major, find out the ancient and modern classics in each of these categories and start reading them.

This is of course a life-long project. It cannot end once you’ve completed your degree. Committing yourself to an open-ended project of reading and learning about the world after you have finished your college degree will make you a 21st century autodidact.

Article from: TSB Magazine | Dating and Lifestyle Advice for Men, by Christopher Reid

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Q&A with J: “What Are the 7 Erogenous Zones?”

This was such an intriguing reader question, I just had to answer it.

Hey there  I have a question and thought since you’re so knowledgeable you could help. There’s a friends episode where Monica teaches chandler about the 7 basic erogenous zones. If you haven’t seen it just google. My question is….what are those 7 zones?!

When Friends aired, I was a fan. Unfortunately, the series got more PG-13-ish the longer it ran, so I fell off watching after a while. But I definitely remember the characters. Here’s the clip this reader refers to (and this is not a video you want your kids to watch with you):

Monica’s statement that “everybody knows the basic erogenous zones” is obviously overstated. Even the two other people in the scene didn’t know exactly what Monica was talking about.

But what are these seven erogenous zones? Wouldn’t it be nice to know?

And so the internet has pondered this question. Not only can you Google for this video, you can run a search for “Monica’s 7 erogenous zones” and several articles and chats will appear with people conjecturing which areas of the female body are the most erotic.

Ultimately, we don’t know what Monica was talking about. Because this was just a bit — a comedy bit. Maybe the writers in the room had seven places in mind, but I doubt it. Having written a few stories myself, I know that sometimes hints are more effective than complete explanations. This is an example, because this scene got people wondering what Monica sketched on that pad and talking about this episode with others. More buzz about the episode = more people watching = higher ratings.

But from all the research I’ve done about sexual arousal, and reading through some of the interesting posts on these erogenous zones, I’m willing to take my own stab at where most wives like to be touched and stimulated.

1. Hands. Do you remember the spark you felt the first time you and your husband held hands? That cozy feeling of your softer hand in his rougher one, the way his fingers intertwined with yours, and how your palms seemed extra-sensitive to his touch? So what if a bunch of years have passed — touching hands is still sexy. I’m putting them in the erogenous zone category.

Because in addition to holding hands, he can gently stroke your palms, give you a hand massage, suck on your fingers. Those are all very sensual activities, and you might want to point out that your hands are one way to your heart. Or, to get his attention, you could always say they’re a great pit stop on the way to “seven.”

2. Lips. Our lips are quite sensitive. The skin of our lips have fewer cellular layers (3-5) than face skin (up to 16 layers), and many sensory receptors are concentrated there. Moreover, when you get close enough to kiss, you also get a whiff of your beloved’s pheromones, which can kick your desire into gear.

I’ve written about the importance of kissing several times, but here’s one post to get you thinking about this erogenous zone: You’re Not Kissing Enough

3. Neck. I’d like to provide scientific data on why touching and kissing the neck is so sexy. But honestly, this one is based on hearing from so many women that they like it. And frankly, it’s part of many book and movie romance scenes, and if this practice didn’t appeal to women, it wouldn’t be.

One theory is that the neck is both sensitive to touch, but also a rather private area. After all, whom do you let touch your neck? So exposing it to your beloved feels both vulnerable and arousing. Now some wives are too ticklish there, but plenty of gals enjoy a husband working his way up or down her neck with his lips.

4. Breasts. How you like them handled depends on you, but most wives enjoy being aroused through their breasts. You might enjoy your whole breast being held, massaged, or squeezed, or you might prefer total concentration on your nipples. Wives vary in sensitivity, so let your husband know what you enjoy.

It might change as stimulation increases, meaning you want him to start gently but desire greater pressure as you get more and more turned on. But very few women don’t enjoy something in this area. (Breastfeeding moms, you get a pass on this one if it bothers you right now.) Our breasts are pretty erogenous.

5. Vulva. Vulva is a catch-all term for the external female genitalia. It includes your vaginal lips (labia), clitoris, vaginal opening, and more. I’m going to remove clitoris from this list, because it deserves its own section. But the other parts are sensitive to varying degrees and can be aroused with manual or oral contact. In particular, the labia and vaginal opening are sensitive.

Your husband probably doesn’t understand that you’d like him to spend a little more time here, getting your engine revving and your juices flowing. It’s all so close to the part he really wants to be in that the vulva can get short shrift at times. Ask him to massage or lick your labia, tease your vaginal opening, and generally explore down there for what feels good.

6. Vagina. I suspect most husbands think this is Erogenous Zone #1. And it’s certainly in the running. When you’re highly aroused, having your husband penetrate your vagina is an incredibly satisfying feeling. Even before then, many wives enjoy digital penetration (his finger inside) to get them going.

God uniquely created vagina to receive your husband’s penis, and you can experience many amazing sensations there, using various positions and angles. He might even make contact with your Skene’s glands or G-spot. It’s a wonderfully erogenous area, and nothing feels quite like intercourse.

7. Clitoris. After some consideration, however, I decided this was “seven.” Because if you want to have an orgasm, you need direct or indirect stimulation of your clitoris. You can get indirect stimulation through intercourse, but intercourse isn’t guaranteed to produce that orgasm. Direct contact is an easier way to achieve climax.

But it has to be the right kind of stimulation. As Monica said, some guys hit the early zones, then “go to seven and set up camp.” Yet it’s unlikely to feel good if your husband kisses you a couple of times, then starts in on your clitoris. Stimulation there is going to feel much better when your lubrication is sufficient and your clitoris begins to swell. Guide your husband to give this erogenous zone the attention it desires and enjoys.

Are those really the seven erogenous zones?

No. They’re my suggestions. My online research proposed several other possibilities: scalp and hair, ears and ear lobes, stomach, buttocks, behind the knees, feet and toes.

Which should remind us that God created us differently. I give a lot of how-to tips here on my blog, but you have to try things out and see what gets you — and your husband — going. Your seven erogenous zones may not be the same seven erogenous zones as other women.

And, to confuse things even more, your seven erogenous zones could change! Because our bodies change throughout life. What felt good before you had kids might not feel as good after, or what felt good when your body was 25 years old might not feel the same when you’re 52 years old.

So here’s my advice: Treat your whole body as a potential erogenous zone. Yes, you’ll immediately be able to knock certain locations out of the running (“You want to kiss my armpit? I don’t think so!”), but you might be surprised to discover what turns you on.

Also, what turns your husband on. Maybe licking the skin behind his ear drives him utterly wild. Or he adores you squeezing his bum.

That’s the beauty of sex in marriage — you have time and a safe space to explore. Take your time and enjoy the discovery of all the erogenous zones you can find!
Article from: Hot, Holy & Humorous, by J

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When Your Best Friend Ignores You: The Why and the Ways to Fix It

If your BFF has suddenly turned cold and distant, you need to find out why. So, here’s what to do when your best friend ignores you.

A best friend is hard to find. That’s why you’ve put so much time and effort into maintaining your friendships. You and your best friend have weathered the roughest storms. From bad breakups and family disasters, to hysterical late night rants. Your best friend is the one person you could have fun waiting in a two-hour line with. It is for all of these reasons that it becomes especially hurtful when your best friend ignores you.

Going ignored by someone who’s supposed to have your back feels like a whole new level of betrayal, especially if you have no idea what you’ve done wrong.

Feelings lost about your BFF’s sudden cold shoulder? Here’s what to do when your best friend ignores you, and all of your emails, texts, phone calls, and not-so-subtle afternoon pop-ins.

The 4 G’s to finding out why… when your best friend ignores you

Any good detective knows that the first step to deciphering why your best friend is suddenly flying under the radar with you is to find out what’s wrong. This becomes increasingly difficult when they won’t respond to any of your texts or calls.

Luckily for you, it isn’t going to be that hard to figure out. When your best friend ignores you, it often has to do with the “4 G’s.” [Read: What to do when your relationship ends without warning]

#1 Guilt. If your best friend isn’t talking to you anymore, they could be suffering from a guilty conscience. Think back: when did they first start acting strangely toward you? Was it after you asked your best bro to drive your girlfriend home? If so, who’s to say a little hanky-panky wasn’t had in the car? He may be ducking you to avoid revealing a bad deed.

Your best friend may like your mate, have cheated with your mate, might be lying to you about something important, or is in some way keeping something from you that is causing them to harbor a guilty conscience. In that case, it’s best to ask around and see if your mutual friends know what might be up.

#2 Growing up. Best friends for life! Right? Wrong! Sometimes besties just grow up and grow apart. Maybe you’re married with kids, and your BFF is still living the single life. They may feel like they have nothing in common with you anymore. [Read: 14 signs your best friend isn’t your best friend anymore]

You may have different goals or understandings of things. In the end, friends break up for much the same reasons relationships do: jealousy, disagreements about fundamental ideas, lack of respect, and boredom.

Growing apart is natural, especially if you have been friends since you were very young. Puberty, high school, college years, and the endless pursuit of love tend to bond us to our BFFs.

It seems to be when we accomplish our goals of meeting our forever-mate and getting an ideal job that our friendship seems to take a hit. After all, there is no more need for guidance, company from loneliness, or confirmation of a life direction. [Read: Are you losing a friend or are you two just drifting away?]

#3 Getting laid. The facts are sad but true: we usually drop our friends when we get into serious relationships. Getting laid usually outweighs hanging out on your friend’s couch. Sorry. The treatment is hardly fair, but baby, that’s life. Don’t act like you’ve never done it!

If your friend is in a new relationship and starts ignoring you, just roll your eyes and continue on with life. Odds are they’ll come back around once the puppy-love phase settles down, or when the relationship ends.

If it continues on longer than a month, it could be that they’re significant other isn’t comfortable with your friendship. This possibility increases tenfold if you are her ex, professed a crush on them at some point in time, or are the opposite sex/could be attracted to them. [Read: How to make new friends as an adult – 15 ways to do it right]

#4 Going through trials. Your friend may be ignoring you in lieu of a much bigger problem they’re having. Don’t think this couldn’t be true just because your BFF normally shared everything with you.

So, when your best friend ignores you, it may be a sign that they’re going through an enormous trial and they don’t know how to reach out. Or maybe they’re not ready to talk about it yet.

Your BFF may be going through a monumental trial such dealing with a serious illness, caring for a sick family member, a death in the family, loss of employment, divorce, issues with sexual identity, or issues with their children. The list goes on and on. [Read: How to meet new people – 16 exciting ways to find a new crowd]

What to do when your Best Friend ignores you

Now that you know the potential reasons why your best friend isn’t talking to you, it’s time to start taking action. If you want to salvage the best friendship you’ve ever had, then we suggest these foolproof ideas:

#1 Talk it out. This is hard to do when your best friend is, well, ignoring you. But, try your best to get into contact with your BFF with a clear message: I want to understand what’s wrong. Try and find them on Skype, Facebook, Instagram, text, email, or by phone.

But whatever you do, don’t try every option. This will make you look like a stalker psychopath – not something you want your, already annoyed, BFF to deal with. [Read: 18 insightful reasons why you don’t have any friends]

#2 Set things right… AKA… apologize. One giant reason your friend might be ducking you is because they’re mad at you. Look back and try to identify what you might have done to put them off of your friendship.

Did you confess your love for them? Tell them a harsh truth? Say something you didn’t mean? Tell them you don’t like their mate? Any of these actions may warrant an angry or confused best friend. The best thing to do is to apologize and assure your friend you’ll give them the space they need.

#3 Be a better friend. How good of a friend are you? A couple years back, you once thought of your best friend as the PB to your jelly, but… how much of that still stands? It could be your friendship isn’t as give and take as you might have thought.

Maybe you often say thoughtless or offensive things. Maybe your friend finds you judgmental.  As humans, we always need to self-examine ourselves and refine our personalities to be the best we can be. That includes when dealing with our BFF. [Read: Am I a narcissist? 10 straight questions that reveal the narcissist in you]

#4 Take a break. Just like in romantic relationships, sometimes friends just need space. Your friend may be stressed or annoyed and just wants to be alone at the moment. They may just want to hang out with other people.

Or, as mentioned before, they may have a new boyfriend/girlfriend that’s occupying their time. Either way, sometimes it’s best to just accept the random cold shoulder and wait for your friend to cool off and come back around.

#5 Examine the friendship. If your friend has been ignoring you for a while, you may want to take a step back and examine how great your friendship actually was. Sure, you had fun together and you’ve been friends for a long time, but was everything still running smoothly?

If you felt drained after hanging out, don’t like who you are when you’re around them, or feel like there is an imbalance in the ‘give and take’ aspect of your friendship, then this friendly breakup may be long overdue. [Read: How self-respect affects you and your relationship]

#6 Forget them. Usually, when your best friend ignores you, the most common reactions usually go like this: You try to contact them. You complain/guilt trip about how you never see them anymore. You get upset. You resign to your broken friendship and let it go.

If you’ve tried reaching out, apologizing, and offering your support to your friend and they still seem to be ducking you – it might be time to end this friendship. You deserve more than someone who is going to throw years of friendship down the gutter.

So put your social face on, because it’s time to go out and meet someone new.

[Read: How to get your best friend back – 11 calm steps to win them back]

It can be hard when your best friend ignores you. Try as best you can to right any wrongs that have occurred between the two of you. Be the listening ear you always have been and support your friend through any trials they’re facing. Hopefully, you’ll be back to late-night drunk calls in no time. If not? C’est la vie.

The post When Your Best Friend Ignores You: The Why and the Ways to Fix It is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Article from: LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships, by Minot Little

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Internet Services Make Senior Singles Dating Amusing And Interesting

They say you are only as old as you feel, and maybe that is why there are so many mature men and women finding new friends and love with senior singles dating. The new millennium has made just about everything we used to do a lot easier and more exciting, particularly if it involves the internet! The technological advances made possible with a computer and internet connection have made daily activities like banking, shopping and even chatting and meeting senior singles online easy and fun to do.

Everybody using online dating services have their own motives why they pick the internet to find that special someone, and older men and women are no different. Today almost everyone has a computer at home and it just makes good sense to search senior personals, and online sites for meeting senior singles. For the older man or woman who is reentering the dating world once more, many of them may find it hard or difficult to go though those old fashioned dating rituals and using a senior dating service removes a lot of the face to face dating problems for those who may be a bit shy, or don’t do the typical first date meet up well.

Rich senior men and women may want to take advantage of a dating service that performs pre-screening, and handles the match making, so they can feel sure that the individuals they meet are not just doing so for financial gain or other reasons. One of the main reasons that so many people including senior men and women use online dating agencies is because of personal fears and uncertainty, and having a service that can help them make the dating environment more relaxed and comfortable is well worth the service fee they pay.

Senior personals are like online social classifieds, there is surely something for everyone who uses them, from finding new people to chat with online, exploring new and interesting things to do with new friends, even those searching for a romantic connection, and everything in between. Some senior men and women may just start chatting with someone they met, only to find they have become attracted to that new person, making it easier to move ahead to a more romantic relationship.

Everyone wants somebody to care about, and who on the other hand cares about them, and at times those more usual dating and meeting rituals just don’t work, and that is why even seniors are finding true love and happiness online.

If you want to meet seniors online then you should learn more about senior online dating

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Codependency is Based on Fake Facts

Codependency is based on a lie. Its symptoms develop to cope with the deep, but false and painful belief — that “I’m not worthy of love and respect.” In the chart to the left, core symptoms of codependency are in red, but nearly all the symptoms revolve around shame – the shame that accompanies rejection. This entire system operates beneath our awareness, and until we know it and feel it, we’re caught in its grip.

Symptoms of Codependency

The Symptoms of codependency are both caused by shame, as explained in Conquering Shame and Codependency. or are defenses to feeling shame are both caused by shame or are defenses to feeling shame Most codependents grow up feeling ashamed of their real feelings, wants, and/or needs. As adults they deny, devalue, and/or don’t express them to avoid their shame. Some people can’t identify them at all. Instead, they willingly put those of others first and experience anxiety, depression, obsessions and addictive behavior. Later, they feel anger and resentment or hurt and uncared about. Especially during courtship, they accommodate and please in order to be loved by someone and not feel the pain of a breakup. Once married, there’s often disappointment when the relationship feels unequal.

Shame is a feeling that leads to self-destructive thoughts and negative self-evaluations, which produces low self-esteem. Self-esteem isn’t so much a feeling, but how we think about ourselves. When we have toxic shame and make a mistake, whether real or imagined, our feelings of guilt are exaggerated and irrational due to underlying shame. If we don’t believe we’re worthy of love, we must control what we show to others. We don’t communicate what we feel, or express our needs and wants. Instead, we have hidden expectations, and manipulate, hint, or become passive-aggressive. We hide who we are. Authenticity is compromised, and communication becomes dysfunctional. If we can’t be real, intimacy suffers. Initially, there may be wonderful romance, but eventually it becomes ritualized; sharing and closeness that first brought them together become infrequent, because they conceal anything that might upset the status quo for fear of feeling rejected or judged.

Still, “shame anxiety” — the fear of being judge or rejected — haunts codependents. To cope and to get what they need and want, they attempt to manipulate and control others. This becomes a necessity if we’re dependent on someone loving us or just staying with us in order to feel okay about ourselves or just to feel safe. Being alone for some people triggers feelings of shame, fear, and loneliness, while others manage fine on their own, but become very reactive or lose themselves in relationships. This is their dependency. When our mood and happiness depend on someone else’s and our self-esteem depends on their acceptance, we need to manage others’ feelings and behavior. People-pleasing and giving are ways to avoid that, as are creating drama, threats, and demands.

If our well-being and self-esteem depend on someone else, it makes sense to think a lot about his or her motives, intentions, feelings, and behavior in order to feel secure. This accounts for codependents’ focus on and obsession about loved ones. Caretaking others is another form of control. If someone is dependent on me and needs me, then s/he won’t reject or leave me. Also, if I’m the one giving and helping someone else, then I don’t have to be vulnerable. My partner can be vulnerable, “Underdog,” while I can feel strong, “Top dog,” as and his or her protector, helper, or confidant. Such an imbalanced relationship breeds anger and resentment by both partners.

Many codependents are perfectionists. In their mind, they must be perfect, because the alternative is that they will “look bad” in some way or feel like a failure. Mistakes or flaws create great discomfort due to shame arising within. They may feel anxious, angry or driven to fix something, when really they’re attempting to fix their own inner, unconscious, sense of inadequacy. They live with the “tyranny of the should’s” fed by shame anxiety and perfectionism. Making mistakes, being human, feeling ordinary, are not acceptable; these are experienced as shame.

Recovery from Codependency

Learning new behavior, such as learning to be assertive, go a long way to raise self-esteem and build autonomy (rather than dependency). These steps can empower you and give you a greater sense of control and happiness in your life. (See my books and webinars on building self-esteem and learning to be assertive.) Changing lifelong habits isn’t easy or quick. It requires real courage and the support of a therapist or experienced sponsor in a 12-Step group to do the recommended work the Twelve Steps. However, for enduring recovery, we must truly undo the lie that envelops us. Confronting and healing the core issue of shame are required for lasting change and to prevent relapse into unhealthy relationships. Start by working the steps in Conquering Shame and Codependency. Ideally, begin therapy with a trained, licensed psychotherapist.

©Darlene Lancer 2017

Article from: Relationships & Love – Psych Central, by Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT

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Relationship Coach Recommends These 10 Steps to Keep Your Relationship Healthy

There are two times that people put the most effort into a relationship–at the beginning, and at the end. At the beginning, we want so much to spend time together that we will make time to do whatever it takes. At the end of a relationship, we spend a lot of effort just to keep ourselves together while our relationship is falling apart. Many people learn too late that the most important time to work on a relationship is . . . every day. Because, while choosing a good partner is essential, just committing to someone does not ensure years of happiness.

To continue to reap the rewards of a great relationship, there is a continual amount of work that must be done. Just as a farmer cannot sow his seeds and sit back until they mature, so it is that we cannot expect an initial commitment to carry us to a great relationship.

Following these 10 steps will help to keep your relationship healthy and thriving:

1. Give and take–Couples who have been married 50 years or more say that the number one reason their marriages have survived is “give and take.” There are times that our needs must be met, but there are also times when we need to sacrifice for the sake of our partner (and our relationship).

2. Dating–Dating is not just for meeting people. It is the number one ingredient in keeping a marriage fun. The more children there are in a relationship, the greater the need for dating. Dating can be defined as doing something enjoyable with your partner, outside the home, without the kids. One time a week is minimal for most couples.

3. Love is given–Love needs to be demonstrated in ways that are perceived as loving by our partner. Just to feel like we love our partner is not enough to keep their love tank full. For some, loving is receiving gifts or favors; for others physical touch or sex; and for others it is doing activities together. Just because we like something doesn’t mean our partner does. Love must be given in a way that it can be received.

4. Trust is earned–Without trust there can be no intimacy in a relationship. Trust, unlike love, is not given but can only be earned. We earn our partner’s trust by following through on our commitments and consistently behaving in a way that is good for our relationship.

5. Communicate honestly–Lack of honest communication indicates lack of trust or insecurity. Either is detrimental to a relationship. To be honest with each other means that there must be a freedom to express ideas that your partner does not like and does not have to like. When we agree that listening does not necessitate agreement, it is easier to be open and honest with each other.

6. Use the power of visualization–We can only achieve what we can conceive. The way you think about your partner and your future together will impact the way you feel and behave toward each other. Negative images must lead to corrective action or be replaced with positive ones. Positive thinking about your partner puts a gleam in your eye which is apparent to your partner.

7. Make your needs known–Eliminate all complaining by changing your complaints to requests. Requests risk rejection, but complaints guarantee it. Do you really want your spouse to stop watching TV or are you really wanting your spouse to sit and talk with you? Ask your spouse to sit and talk with you rather than complaining about his or her TV viewing.

8. Agree–Rather than listening for the part of what your partner is saying that you disagree with and then debating about it, listen for what your partner is saying that you agree with. Sometimes partners feel like you are looking for something to pick at because you only comment when you disagree. Frequent agreement will make the disagreements more tolerable.

9. Go the extra step–The little bit extra that we do for any job or relationship makes all the difference both in early dating and in maintaining the relationship. Make your spouse’s lunch? Include a little love note. Greet your spouse with a kiss? Kiss his or her neck too. Whatever you do, think about how you can add just a little more to make it special.

10. Make a relationship plan–Living from day to day without any goals for the future leads to routine, stagnation, boredom, or burnout. When you and your partner are working on goals together, you share something that the rest of the world doesn’t have. And that creates a special world for the two of you.

Just as it’s easier to change your car oil than to replace the transmission, so it is easier to work on your relationship before problems occur. Being in love has never been enough to maintain a long term relationship. Doing what it takes to have a good long term relationship, however, will increase your feelings of love. Working one on one with a relationship coach will give you more specific ways to address issues important to your relationship. Success can happen if you make it happen.

Jack Ito PhD is a licensed psychologist and relationship coach. For 14 years he has helped more than 1000 men and women to have better relationships.
Start working on your relationship with the Relationship Coach newsletter and a Free Relationship Planning Guide. Visit the Relationship Coach Blog for daily relationship advice.

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Want more love? Send better signals

Wise Readers,

A package arrived—one I’d long awaited, the latest edition of the book that totally changed my love life, from the evolutionary scientist whose work I most admire and respect.

The book is The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating, and the author is Dr. David Buss.  The Washington Post called the first edition “a drop-dead shocker,” and it still is.  Here’s my review:

Want more love? Send better signals.

It’s universal: to find and keep love, we must give signals our desired gender of partner is looking for. Fortunately, those signals look remarkably similar the world over and can be learned. Unfortunately, if you’re relying on advice and info from media, friends, culture, and family, you’re probably being taught and told to do stuff that actually gets in the way of effective signal-sending—hurting rather than helping your chances.

But science has come to the rescue. For instance, have you been taught to think men and women are just alike, genitals aside? Or that any differences we have must be based on upbringing and culture? Be prepared to be buried under reams of examples from science showing otherwise. Yes, we’re equally intelligent and talented, and we mostly want the same things. But where there are differences in mating desires, these distinctions are worldwide, large, and hugely important, for anyone looking for love. Our thoughts evolved right along with our physical features, and men and women have evolved startlingly distinct psychologies when it comes to mating.

When it comes to understanding the mating mind, Dr. David Buss’ The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating is must-read stuff. The first edition was rated a “drop-dead shocker” by the Washington Post Book World, with good reason: it will forever change the way you view men, women, what we want and need from one another—and why.

Article from: Love Science-relationship advice, by

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How to Ask Someone Out: 16 Flirty Moves for Strangers and Friends

Asking someone out for the first time can be nerve wracking. These 16 flirty ideas will wow your crush when trying to figure out how to ask someone out.

If you are thinking about how to ask someone out, you want to prepare a little. Just running up to someone and shouting “WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?!?” into their face is unlikely to get you the desired response.

People like to feel special. They want to feel secure, and they appreciate it when someone makes them feel desired and wanted. Do all of this when you’re asking someone out and they are much more likely to say yes.

Of course, it’s always a good idea to have a plan in mind of what to do if they say yes or no. If you get the response you hope for, try to keep it casual and make sure you set it up so you’ve got their number or plan arrangements then and there.

Similarly, if they say no, try to be cool. Don’t get annoyed or burst into tears. Everyone gets rejected from time to time, just remember that there are plenty more fish in the sea.

Believe in yourself—whatever the answer

Before you go for it, try to keep calm. While you might have had a crush for what feels like forever, and built up the courage to do it, just remember that asking someone out on a date should be a casual thing. You aren’t asking them for a limb or to marry you. Try to keep things in perspective. Acting cool, calm, and collected shows your confidence—and that itself is really attractive.

Believe in yourself too! Visualizing them saying yes or imagining the two of you having a great time on your first date helps. If you feel shaky, timid, or uncertain, this comes across and has a negative effect.

How to ask someone out – 16 fun and flirty ways

When you are ready to go for it, make sure you are clear and specific. It can be easy to beat around the bush or ask them in a way that you can pretend that’s not really what you were doing if they say no. That’s really just the coward’s way out!

If you are too vague, it makes your potential date feel nervous. Also, they might say yes without knowing what they are really saying yes to, only to then decline the offer later when they find out. Learn how to ask someone out the right way, and save yourself the disappointment—make it clear that it’s a date, and that it will be just the two of you.

Now that you feel confident and ready, just what are the best ways to ask someone out? Here are 16 great ideas bound to go down well!

#1 Write them a note. If you want to be cute, why not ask them out by passing them a handwritten note? This could be on the back of a napkin in a coffee shop or passed to them via friends. It takes it back to an old school, classroom kind of vibe and is sure to charm them right away. [Read: How to ask a friend out without risking the friendship]

#2 Smile at them. There is nothing quite as lovely as someone giving you a huge smile. If you are not feeling confident about asking someone out, why not see if you catch their eye and then deliver them a fantastic, beaming smile.

If you do this and they smile right back at you, you know you are onto something and should consider biting the bullet and going up to them to ask them on a proper date.

#3 Buy them a drink. Again, if you want to use tried and tested methods, then offering to buy someone a drink or having a drink sent over is a great way to initiate the conversation that leads to you asking someone on a date. If the person you are interested in is interested too, they’ll no doubt thank you or invite you to join them. [Read: How to approach women – 15 tips you absolutely need to know]

#4 Pay for their coffee. Coffee shops are a great place to hang out, but do you know how to ask someone out, out of the blue? For starters, if you spot a cute guy or girl in line at a coffee store, why not offer to pay for their coffee?

This way you get talking to them, and you’ve already bought them their very first gift! They’ll know you are interested right away, and if they feel the same way, they’ll no doubt accept.

#5 Send them a text. If you feel particularly nervous about asking this person out, then you don’t always have to do it face to face. It can be scary if you aren’t sure whether that person will say yes or not, and the horrible pause where you might get rejected is sometimes too much to bear!

This is understandable. If you aren’t sure and you’ve got their number take all the pressure off by coming up with a cute and funny text to send them instead! *Warning: It doesn’t make the waiting any easier though!* [Read: Texting your crush: A step-by-step guide to doing it right]

#6 Send them a letter. Want to know how to ask someone out the old-fashioned way? Be super cute and send them a letter to ask them out! This one takes a bit more effort and is a little cheesy, but if you think the person you are asking would find it really romantic, then you’ll be in their good books right away!

#7 Buy them flowers. Everyone loves to feel special. A lovely bunch of bright blooms brings cheer to anyone’s day. Buying or sending them flowers makes them feel special and flattered—you are more likely to get that big fat yes!

#8 Surprise them. Show up somewhere they wouldn’t expect to see you *in a non-stalker way, obviously* and surprise them by asking them on a date then and there!

#9 Plan a whole day. Make sure you know how much effort you put into it and how much you like them by asking them to come on a whole special date day with you. Have an excellent plan in place that is sure to impress them if they ask for more details! [Read: Top 50 amazing first date ideas to wow your date]

#10 Ask the person where they are from. Another simple ice-breaker that helps you out if you are about to ask out a total stranger. Casual conversation starters are sometimes the best way to get the vibes on whether a person has reciprocal feelings, so if you worry about rejection this might be the way to go. [Read: Approach anxiety – 16 effortless ways to conquer it in a few days]

#11 Ask the person what they are reading. Like that cute girl sitting and reading on a bench? Ask her to tell you about the book she is reading. Another easy way to get the conversation going.

#12 Compliment what the person is wearing. Everyone likes to be flattered and feel beautiful so giving your potential date a fabulous compliment immediately makes them feel special, and way more likely to say yes.

#13 Find something in common with them. People are more likely to say yes to dates that they think they will enjoy. Try to find out what you have in common with the person you hope to date before you ask them out. This way you plan and suggest something that you know they’ll be interested in. [Read: How to start a conversation with a crush and woo them]

#14 Find out their favorite food or restaurant. Find out what they like to eat and either suggest that you take them to their favorite restaurant or cook them a home-cooked meal full of all their most loved dishes!

#15 Ask them for the time. Wondering how to ask someone out when you bump into them on a street? Ask them for the time. It just gets the conversation started, and if they look like they aren’t interested, then you haven’t put yourself out there too much. It’s a win-win! If you get a smile and their body language is positive, then you simply take it from there. [Read: How to be flirty while maintaining class and poise]

#16 Write them a song. If you are musically inclined, why not write them a cute and funny song about why you like them? Perhaps not everyone’s cup of tea, but it is sure to utterly charm some people!

[Read: 15 ways to tell if someone likes you without asking them]

So there you have it, now that you know how to ask someone out, be it a friend or a total stranger, which move will you pick?!

The post How to Ask Someone Out: 16 Flirty Moves for Strangers and Friends is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
Article from: LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships, by Bethany Cadman

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Benefits With Friendship—Why It Is Worth Pursuing

You have no doubt heard the old cliché “friends with benefits” many times. There is another kind of experience that is just as convenient and satisfying: benefits with friendship. The two situations are quite different.

The former refers to meeting a girl that you like to hang out with. You both date other people but never each other. Either gradually or suddenly, you end up in bed together. Afterward, you take the decision to keep the friendship intact and remain open to booty calls whenever the both of you happen to be single.

The latter, benefits with friendship, is the reverse of this. The sex comes first. A strong, undeniable, irrepressible attraction rises up between you. You pursue a vigorous sexual affair that is accompanied by a deep and lasting friendship. This relationship—let’s call it BWF for short—involves carrying on with a girl who you can tell anything to, who you know you can trust and confide in.

I can personally attest to the value of BWF. The girl I had one with was the sister of a colleague of mine. I was in the Navy at the time, temporarily based in Newport for training. My colleague was in the same class and we became friends. One weekend he invited me to Boston, where his sister and brother shared an apartment. It was not, to my knowledge, an attempt to hook me up with her. However, things took a turn on their own when his sister and I met.

It was a mutual feeling of instant attraction. What we had was neither love nor infatuation, but a permeating sense of familiarity and closeness, an implicit understanding that we would have one another without the need for wooing or game playing.

That night, the brothers went off to some concert, I think, and we went out to dinner. I do not recall having ever had so much fun on a date. We talked about everything—especially politics, as we both held strong liberal views. She later told me that she had a date that night but cancelled it when she met me.

Nothing physical happened after dinner. A week later she came to visit me in Newport, and that is when we unleashed on each other. This rather delightful BWF continued through the summer. One of the best things about it was the lack of expectations. She knew that I would be leaving to take up a post overseas after I finished my training and she made no effort to get me to commit. We thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company without strain or awkwardness. Not only was the sex great but so was the companionship—both were excellent in equal measure. The woman in question is now married with children, but we remain good friends.

If you can find it, or if it happens to you, pursuing a BWF is well worth your while. It combines the two things that every man needs: a hot lover and a great buddy.
Article from: TSB Magazine | Dating and Lifestyle Advice for Men, by Christopher Reid

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Seniors Singles Men and Women Looking for Online Dates

Seniors are defined as people who are over 50 years old. In recent years, there are many senior singles looking for online dates. Senior dating services provide the way to help senior single men and women to find each other online. Senior singles have a chance to meet with each other. It is a great tool for senior single people to meet. Some seniors have children and some seniors have even grandchildren. Some of seniors live with their children and some live by themselves. The main reason why they are looking for a relationship is because they need to be loved list youngsters. There is no difference between senior people and young people in terms of love. All single people need to love and to be loved.

Senior singles usually look for a long term companion. Seniors do not find a short term relationship. They do not look just for sex, but for love. Senior single men and women are stronger in terms of love. They have longer years of experience in life to live and to love somebody. They have more life experience than younger people. Senior singles do not like to go to a bar or a nightclub to seek dates. These places are not appropriate for senior single people. Most of youngsters are at these places. Online senior dating services are the best places for senior single men and women to find love and romance. Within a few minutes, you can view million of senior singles online. You then can start contacting and chatting with all senior single people you like.

Some senior singles just look for a senior friendship. That depends on each person’s conception. Senior dating sites offer the means to seek for a partner, pen pal, friends, soul mates, and others. The answer for single senior men and women is online senior dating service. Thousands of relationships and even marriage are generated from these senior dating websites. There are some free senior dating sites that help senior singles to seek their dates online without paying any fee. The only thing to ask you is that you need to know how to create a personal ad. You need to know how to type. You need to have a computer. That’s all you need to look for a single senior woman or man at online senior dating services.

Looking for senior single women and men online is common and easy. There are thousands of local senior singles looking for a long term companion. Online senior dating is the great way to find senior single people. However, senior single people should not let their last relationship to harm you any more. You have to move on with your new life. Do not be afraid that your age will distract other senior singles. There are always senior singles that are around your age. Age is just a number. Love is waiting for you. Your other half is waiting for you online. Join these free senior dating websites to find your dream mate today.

Seeking seniors singles at free online dating sites with fishing dating senior singles USA and plenty of fish UK waiting Please visit us to find senior single women and men today without paying any fee

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Great Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas for Her That Last Forever

Bouquets are gorgeous, but how long do they last?

These great Valentine’s Day gift ideas for her are all about longevity – just like your love. Check them out!

This Valentine’s Day, we recommend you attempt to do something different.

You’ve likely given gifts of flowers before, and maybe candy. But those are soon gone, and it can be a little sad seeing wilted flowers.

Instead, try to give a gift that can go the distance.

Great Valentine’s Day gifts for her can go beyond the classic chocolate and flowers, but where did those even come from?

Where did the tradition of flowers start as a Valentine’s Day gift?

There have been many cultures that have used flowers during mid-winter rites. Specifically, they were often used to symbolize fertility and love.

The origins of Valentine’s Day are a bit murkier.

In one legend, a young Roman priest named Valentine was put to death on February 14. His alleged crime? Secretly marrying couples after the Emperor decreed single men made better soldiers.

While in jail, as the story goes, he fell in the love with his jailor’s daughter. His final letter to her may have been signed “From Your Valentine”.

One confirmed fact is that Valentine was granted sainthood in the 5th century, and he eventually becomes one of Europe’s most popular saints.

(St.) Valentine’s Day is still an incredibly popular, but sometimes stressful, holiday. So if you’re looking for great Valentine’s Day gift ideas for her that will go the distance but aren’t stressful to obtain or make, here’s your list.

Great Valentine’s Day Gifts for Her Can be Special and Easy

No matter what the lady in your life is into, these great Valentine’s Day gifts for her will make this year one to remember.

We definitely like Eternity Roses as a romantic gift that will go the distance….

While a bouquet of roses will fade quickly after Valentine’s Day, you can actually give her one that won’t.

This preserved 24 karat gold-dipped real rose will be beautiful forever, just like she will. They look impressive and are made from a natural single rose. The manufacturer also has glazed red single roses in which look quite stunning in a nice leather presentation box.

Plan it out

A romantic date or trip can be fun, but it takes a little planning, though all the fun goes out the window if you struggle with planning.

Whether it’s a trip around the world, or just across town, it should be enjoyable for both of you.

Here are some tips from The Eternity Rose  that will help you to plan and enjoy Valentine’s Day.

Frame it

Think of all the reasons you love her.

Pick your favorite, and create an 8×10 print. Grab a pretty frame, and you’re almost done. She can hang it on the wall, so she’ll see it every day.

Make it a frame with a stand, so she has the option to put it on her desk at work, too.

Sometimes great Valentine’s Day gift ideas for her are the simplest.

Grab your Scrabble board

If you’re less artistic, but still want a custom message, grab your Scrabble board.

Pick tiles out to arrange your partner’s name, crossed with yours.

A deeper frame will allow room for the tiles and makes a fun 3D and romantic gift.

Light up the night

Candles are pretty, romantic, and come in a range of colors and scents.

Take it to the next level and carve your sweetie’s initials into it.

It’s easier than carving up a tree and better for the environment.

Follow this simple tutorial to make a unique gift for her.

Set it on music

Knowing the things your loved one loves is part of being in a relationship.

What’s the song she sings most often? The one you hear her humming under her breath when she’s happy?

Write down the lyrics of that tune and make her a personalized lyrics plate.

She can enjoy her favorite meal and her favorite song at the same time (it’s even dishwasher safe).

Twelve months, twelve reasons

If your spouse prefers a physical calendar to the one on her phone, make her one she’ll love.

Grab her favorite photos and create a wall calendar.

Match each photo to the month it was taken. Add a caption that shares your favorite thing about the photo or memory.

Now it’s not just a calendar, it’s a romantic gift she’ll see year-round.

Grow your love, and some plants, too

If your partner has a green thumb, why not give her something she’d enjoy all year?

Grab a pretty basket and fill it with packets of her favorite kinds of flower seeds.

If you don’t have a flower bed, throw in a few cute pots she can use.

Every time the flowers bloom she’ll think of your thoughtful gift.

In the garden

If you do have a yard or garden, make a few unique stepping stones to guide her way.

Use items like shells from a trip you took to the beach, or glass stones in her favorite colors.

This will take a little extra prep time to allow them to set, but these instructions make it a snap.

Map your love

Think of three places that you’ve been together that have been romantic and fun.

This is an especially good gift if it happens to be around your first anniversary, too, which is paper.

Grab a map and a red marker. Draw a heart around each place.

Depending on how well-traveled you’ve been, you may have to trim your map down a bit.

Find a frame that fits (your local craft store can help with a custom one, too).

She can look at this unique gift, a map of your love, every day of the year.

For the handyman

If you’re good with tools, consider making the frames for the ideas above instead.

Or, has her book collection overflowed the shelf and onto the floor? Build her a new bookcase.

Does she have kitchen gadgets or spices that don’t have a permanent home? Build a small rack that matches her kitchen.

If you’re good at more intricate design, a jewelry box or necklace tree might be just the perfect romantic gift.

Get your paintbrush out

Is there a room that you know needs a fresh coat of paint? It’s probably the same one she thinks needs it, too.

If you know she’ll be out of town, surprise her by doing the chore you both likely hate.

Or, if a surprise doesn’t work, give her a certificate that says you’ll paint a room of her choice.

For the aspiring writer

If writing is your thing, why not write your love story?

Use some parchment paper, and a calligraphy pen or marker. Describe how you met and how things have grown between you.

Leave a few blank pages at the end and mark the first one, “The future”.

Punch two holes (top corner, bottom corner) and bind it with a pretty ribbon.

Next year, you can go back and fill in another page.

Conclusion

Give her a romantic gift that will be hers all year long, not just for a few days.

Like these great Valentine’s Day ideas for her or have other ideas we should include? Share your thoughts!

Dr. Carissa Coulston is a Clinical Psychologist with over 30 research publications in high standard medical and psychiatric peer-reviewed journals. She has experience in managing a wide range of problems within the Psychology spectrum from common everyday issues such as stress and anxiety, to more chronic and severe mental health conditions.

Carissa writes a regular blog on relationship management and helps people deal with various problems they face in relationships, offering advice on how to resolve difficult situations, strategies to cope with and move past painful and disappointing experiences, and tips on how to improve the overall quality of relationships to achieve happiness and fulfillment.

Article from: Engaged Marriage, by Dustin

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