Can Relationship Councelling Save Your Relationship?

If you have come to a point where you are unable top resolve conflict in your relationship after exploring other avenues then a sensible solution may be save relationship counseling. By seeking advice from a professional relationship counselor who is trained in conflict resolution techniques it is more than likely possible to find the right answers to your problems. Relationship counselors are also called psychotherapists and marriage counselors but their job is the same in save relationship counseling to help couples reach mutually beneficial solutions to any conflicts and issues they are experiencing that are hurting the relationship.

Investigating the avenue of save marriage counseling is the right way to resolve these conflicts, improve your relationship bonds and rebuild your relationship to the levels it was on before. Although many couples that seek save relationship counseling think that the counselor solves the problems, they are actually wrong. Their goal is to teach you how to find the solutions yourself in methods you may not have considered on your own. Save relationship counseling has helped millions of couples all over the world rescue their relationships even after they thought they were doomed to go their separate ways. A professional well trained counselor will show couples how to avoid conflicts and emotional problems that may be damaging in relationships and save the floundering relationship as a result.

When you and your partner have agreed that the only solution to saving the relationship is through save relationship counseling then it is important to both choose a professional counselor that you mutually agree on. Before approaching any relationship counselor it is useful to do a background check on them and find out costs for their sessions. Some professional counselors offer an initial free assessment session. This first session will give you an idea of the costs, duration of sessions and what they consist of in save relationship counseling. This counseling will help you as a couple in finding the answers to many issues that you and your partner may be struggling with in your relationship, as well as give you guidelines on the best ways to confront them.

Save relationship counseling is normally a last resort after being found that the problems cannot be solved through other methods. Relationship counselors are trained to help you as couples resolve these conflicts with kindness and sympathy. Save relationship counseling can help couples to improve their communication skills and you may be surprised at the brutal honesty that is exposed in sessions. Both partners are offered a chance to openly express their feelings and voice problematic issues so that an investigation can be done and a solution found.

Sometimes people feel more comfortable attending save relationship counseling in group workshops, rather than one on one session. This allows couples to also understand that the problem facing them is not one that is unique and a solution can be found if the correct advice is followed. Through offering couples counseling allows open interactions to help partners also discover where they can improve on their relationships and also to find anger management and other therapies that can lead to a better quality of life.

Are you desperate to get back with your ex? The Magic of Making Up will give you the help you sorely need to win back an ex. The Magic of Making Up can jump-start your chances of saving your relationship and of getting your ex back.

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10 Signs You Are With A Woman Who Is Emotionally Unavailable

Raise your hands if you too came here just to confirm whether your girlfriend has the following traits or not. Don’t give me that sheepish look dude, bros don’t need words to understand each other. At times there are moments when even our mothers start doubting our friendship and think that we were only a step away from becoming a couple. Well, let’s save that conversation for some other time and discuss a global concern that even scientists can’t f**king figure out – women. But, trust me if there is anything harder than rocket science or women, it has to be being in love with a woman who is emotionally shut. 

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Are you still blaming yourself for that ‘fancy-candlelight-dinner-with-a-ring-inside-a-champagne-glass’ proposal gone wrong? Well, if you f**ked up, that’s another story, but if she rejected you on the grounds of being unable to love you, because of some reason that’s hard to digest, she is probably carrying emotional baggage. Even if she shows interest in you later, calling you a nice guy, take it as a red flag because chances are it might not last long. However, don’t feel bad because exceptions are always there and you can be an epitome of that section. So, just to be doubly sure, here are some signs to identify where your girlfriend or date is emotionally unavailable or not.  

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1. She Is Least Interested In Knowing About You

You might have been in a relationship for months now, but if she still doesn’t acknowledge you in front of her friends or family, boy you are heading nowhere. Further, she wouldn’t be too keen to know about you either. Although, chances of this situation are very bleak, it’s not that it doesn’t happen.

2. She Is Very ‘Casual’ About Relationships

There is no denying the fact that we men are criticized for having a casual approach towards things. But, when it comes to relationship, ladies, we are damn serious. But with her, things will be the opposite, her actions will be very casual and unpredictable. There will be days when she will have sex with you and then the next day, disappear suddenly and not talk to you for a couple of days in a stretch. Casual sex becomes the only thing left to be mooched off the relationship. 

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3. Bro, You’re A Rebound 

Guys, it’s no rocket science. If a relationship lasted for a really long time, then getting out of that zone after a breakup will take some time too. And we all know that when someone gets into a relationship immediately after a breakup, it’s possibly a rebound. Hint: She would spend more time cribbing about her ex than having areal conversation with you. 

4. She Will Be Available Only At Her Convenience

Are you always the one who walks that extra mile to make things work? Congratulations, you’ve got your answer. While she would expect you to be there 24*7 for her, when you need her, she will be unavailable, just like her emotions. Terms like ‘adjustment’ or ‘time’ would probably not make it to her dictionary while she is dating you. 

© ThonkstockPhotos

5. They Crave Attention All The Time

She knows how to pamper you and insult you at the same time. Such women are for real. Every time you need anything from her, she will reward you as ‘The Best Boyfriend In The World’. But, the moment work is done, she will shun you and pretend that she can’t do anything for you. Further, because of their growing jealousy they will often try to separate you from your friends. But folks, don’t fall for it, remember the code “Bros before hoes”. 

6. They Are Highly Commitment Phobic 

For them ‘Commitment’ will be the word they dread the most. Even if you jokingly mention that you want to take things to another level, it will scare the hell out of them. Soon after, they will start finding reasons, making excuses or setting agendas for you to follow. In short, she will try to control you.  

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7. They Make You Feel Blessed To Have Them 

Have you ever had anxiety or insecurity of not being good enough for your girl? Do you often doubt yourself and trust your girl’s words blindly, when she says that you should thank your stars for having met her or consider yourself lucky. Has she ever (boastfully) counted the number of guys she has dated before you? You’re doomed. In fact, it will be your insecurities and the noted flaws that will be used against you at the time of breaking up. 

8. She Will Try To Replicate The Agony On You 

Being emotionally unavailable is not a fancy concept. You might feel that the points noted above are superficial and exaggerated, but the baggage of a past relationship is way too real. At times, situations like broken or bitter family relations, troubled childhood or abusive past relationship, compel a person to block herself emotionally. And because of this bottled up anger, she would often try to hurt you expecting you to go through all that in the name of love. 

© ThinkstockPhotos

9. They Love To Take You Out On Guilt Trip 

Accepting your mistake to pacify the situation once or twice is fine, but if you are the one who always apologises, even when it’s not your fault; you know where this conversation is heading. She would always make you feel guilty and find thousands of flaws in you and you will always be the one asking for forgiveness.  

10. She Has The ‘Emotional’ Card Up Her Sleeves  

This is the deadliest sign of all the ones mentioned here. When you see that your relationship is heading nowhere, and a breakup seems to be the best option, but even that is not possible. The moment you will wish to end things with her, she will charm you into staying for some more time. She will make you believe that there is still some hope left in your relationship. And you will, as expected, fall for the trick.

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So folks, if your girlfriend does not fall under this category, go and give her a big hug right now. 

Article from: RELATIONSHIPS, by MensXP Team

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Marriage Problems Are Meant To Be

An excerpt from Naked Marriage.

The problem with romantic comedies is that they romanticize too much.

“You complete me” is a fantastic movie moment in Jerry Maguire, but it’s reel-life, not real life.

So many married people buy into the lie, “Once I find The One, I’ll be complete.” Then one, three, ten, or twenty years later, they realize that the void they thought their spouse would fill is empty, and perhaps it had never really been filled in the first place. They suddenly think, “This isn’t working,” but they’re not sure what “this” is or how to get it working again. It’s a frustrating, maddening, defeating place to be. People become disappointed and depressed because they believed the myth that another person was the missing jigsaw piece in the puzzle of their lives.

Those who believe a spouse will complete them are very close to thinking that a spouse will be their primary source of happiness. After all, if he really loves me, a person might think, won’t he seek after my happiness within the relationship? That’s all well and good until what one person wants doesn’t make the other person happy—or vice versa. What should one spouse do if his or her actions fail to make the other spouse happy? Does that mean the love is gone?

If you’re looking for happiness, don’t look to marriage. Married people who’ve ever had a conflict with their spouses—in other words, all of them—already know this. Still, spouses tend to look to each other to be the salve to their own emotional wounds. Husbands and wives want their spouses to fill their empty places—holes that were never meant to be filled by anything other than God in the first place.

Yes, all of us seek completion, but when we look to our spouses for that, we’re asking them to do the impossible.

Now, you would likely never verbalize these feelings, but as the cliché so rightly says, actions speak louder than words.

How you treat your spouse (including what you say to them and what you say about them) truly reveals whether or not you’re looking to him or her as the main source of your happiness. But happiness can only come from within. Relying on another person for your happiness is like riding an emotional roller coaster when you’d only signed up for the merry-go-round.

Even if you’ve been guilty of relying on your spouse as the answer to your weaknesses (and we’ve all been guilty of that), you eventually realize that marriage doesn’t fix your flaws. In fact, your spouse reveals your flaws like the clearest mirror in the world. They strip away the fig leaves you’ve been tightly clinging to for so long. For the most part, you and your spouse don’t do this intentionally or vindictively. Reflecting each other—good qualities and bad– is simply a natural byproduct of living within an intimate, committed relationship where two people spend more time with each other than anyone else. It’s almost as if the problems we experience in marriage are meant to be.

In fact, let me boldly declare it: Marital problems are meant to be. I believe God expressly created and mandated the institution of marriage so that such a relationship could mature us into better humans. Like an artist finds a statue within a block of marble by chiseling piece-by-piece, so too does marital conflict help reveal our true selves—already complete, yet hidden beneath years and years of history.

The question you may be asking yourself now is, “If I can’t ultimately find what I’m looking for within my marriage, what am I supposed to do?”

Well, if I can be blunt, you need to grow up and get naked.

How exactly do you do that?

Pick up a copy of Naked Marriage.

The post Marriage Problems Are Meant To Be appeared first on Simple Marriage.

Article from: Simple Marriage, by Corey

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How To Socialize As A Non-Believing Couple

One of the most irritating things about people of faith is their presumption. They assume that nearly everyone they encounter believes as they do. While in conversation with a religious next door neighbor or colleague at work, where they go to church will always come up. If you tell them of some difficulty you’re trying to overcome in your life, they will inevitably say that they will pray for you. The higher up in the company you go the more devoted Christians you will meet. The more upscale the neighborhood that you and your partner decide to move into the larger the number of Christian families you will encounter.

As you accumulate wealth and property you will find it necessary to deal with people who put religion at the center of their life. Highly religious people occupy a great many senior positions in government and industry. If you have ascended through the ranks quickly, you will find that you have been thrust into a world quite different from the secular humanist one that you and your partner are used to.

You cannot afford to alienate and offend everyone. You will need to socialize with people of faith; you will be expected to both entertain and be entertained. Dinners, parties, and other gatherings help develop bonds of trust that are actually useful for improving how you work with your colleagues.

Even the most devout among your work colleagues and neighbors will not go around talking about Jesus day and night. That tends to be a habit of fanatics, most of whom are ignorant and crass. If you are in a high-end profession, your peers will be educated. They will, in varying degrees, be able to carry on perfectly decent conversations on non-religious topics. The subject of faith will nevertheless come up from time to time, and you and your partner will be put on the spot. How should you respond?

The easiest way of getting through such conversations is to say nothing. No one can accuse me of being soft on religion. But my tendency is to remain silent when someone says “God bless you” or “I’ll pray for you”. There is a time and place for arguing over religion. A nice, quiet dinner in which everyone is laughing and enjoying themselves is not one of them. There is no sense ruining the party with an aggressive response to such comments no matter how much they may annoy you.

If you are asked whether you go to church—or, as the question is most likely to be put, what church you go to—be honest and tell the assembled crowd that the two of you are atheists. You may want to soften this a bit by simply saying that neither of you goes to church. Most people will get the hint and not press the matter any further—again, in the name of keeping the atmosphere positive. One or two individuals may decide to offend you by questioning your ability to make moral decisions without the help of divine supervision. You will be well within your rights at that point to go on the offense yourself. However, if you are determined to keep in with your colleagues, you can say something to the effect of feeling comfortable about your position. This often leads the more tolerant and sensible people in the party to move the conversation along.

As a couple, you will also be expected to have your religious colleagues over to your house for dinner. You should do all that you can to make them feel welcome. Some of them may not drink alcohol, so you should have a range of non-alcoholic refreshments ready. I am strictly against saying a prayer before meals in my house. Again, the more liberal-minded individuals will recognize that holding hands for prayer is not an appropriate thing to do in the home of a non-believer. The bull-headed types will insist on having their way. The best response is to encourage them to say a quick prayer quietly on their own while everyone else starts in on the food.

Article from: TSB Magazine | Dating and Lifestyle Advice for Men, by Christopher Reid

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Senior Dating – Is Senior Online Dating For You

Senior dating has given a new lease of life for millions of senior citizens worldwide who are looking for love and friendship. It’s easy to make new friends and meet love interests online, all you need is a home computer and an internet connection. Once you have both of these you have the potential of communicating with eligible singles from all of the world.

The first thing you need to do is select a senior online dating service. There are many of these available to you so you will have to do a bit of research to find one that offers you a good opportunity of meeting someone online. The first step will be to find a senior dating web site that offers you a free trial.

With your free trial you’ll be able to test the service out first so you can see just what it offers you. If any service wants you to pay anything before you can use it, or ask for any payment details before you can use it then leave the web site as soon as possible. There are plenty of senior internet dating services that allow you to use them without paying or giving them any information about yourself.

Once you have found a service that you feel will give you a good chance of meeting someone you can create your free account then start browsing the profiles. What you’ll be looking for at first is how many senior singles you have living in your area, and how many of these singles have their photo attached to their profile. The more singles you find with a photo on their profile the more chance you have of interacting. Singles who post their photo are more serious about meeting someone, and you’ll have a better chance of a response from them.

If you want more singles to contact you then you’ll also need to put your photo on your profile. Singles with a photo on their senior personal ad get up to 20 times more messages sent to them. The reasons for this are: No one is going to contact someone who won’t show their face; senior singles can choose to only have profiles with photos in their search results so profiles without photos don’t hardly ever get seen.

You’ll only need to upgrade your membership when you want to start sending emails. Sending emails is what you’ll need to do to show other singles that you’re serious about some online interaction. You can personalize your message so you’ll get a better chance of a reply.

Once you’ve started your senior online dating you’ll soon start getting on with it. It might seem a bit daunting at first, but everyone was in your position once, and you just have to remember that everyone is a member of an online dating service because they want to be contacted.

So have fun and completely enjoy yourself. You could even feel eighteen again.

For more information on safe and secure senior online dating services you can visit Senior Friendfinder review

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Way Back Wednesday – Honest to Goodness

(Originally posted April 15, 2014.)

Tell the truth.

I know we all see ourselves as basically truthful, but really there are all kinds of ways that error or deceit creep in.

♥ We don’t always get all the facts accurately (sometimes this can’t be helped).
♥ We don’t share all the facts.
♥ We emphasize some facts and down play others.
♥ We don’t share anything at all.
♥ We delay sharing and maybe don’t even get around to it.
♥ We gently color the way we share.
♥ We make the truth sound funny instead of being honest about how serious it is.
♥ We get too busy with other things so we don’t have time to talk.

Please understand I’m not calling any of us pathological liars. We’re just human and who in their right mind enjoys hard subjects and conflict.

The problem is, being truthful is a part of building trust and intimacy. These are pretty significant building blocks in a marriage.

No, it won’t always be easy. Be sure to pick a good time for the both of you and speak the truth in love.

So be brave and tell the truth. You can do it.

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.  Ephesians 4:25  ESV

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♥ Prayer Prompt: Ask God to nudge you when you fudge the truth.

♥ This Month’s Marriage Challenge: Be present in conversation with your husband. Pay attention and listen well.

♥ The Forgiven Wife: Remember Whose Daughter You Are Claim your place as God’s daughter. He delights in healing our hearts.

♥ Of the Hearth: 8 Practical Ways to Show Respect to Your Husband Practical ways to demonstrate respect for your man.

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Dating Advice Resources Online

Online dating websites are everywhere nowadays, it seems like no matter where you look they are flooding the page! Sites like True, Match, eHarmony, are constantly raiding our pages with ads! There actually is a valid reason behind this though. Dating online, or rather finding a mate online has become one of the biggest things to do or at least try over the last 8 years or so. And it’s very likely that if you do go to sites like True or Match that you will actually find someone to date or even get married to eventually. I’m a total cheese ball, I love romance, I love love, I love being with that perfect person! I’ll admit it I have tried True as well as a few others!

But what if you are new to dating? Or what if you are just completely lost when it comes to men or women? Well a good thing to do would be to find the nearest “dating advice” site as soon as humanly possible! Some people don’t date because of other reasons, but if you really are confused about the opposite sex and that’s why your not dating? Think of all the incredible things you are missing out on! Plus, going on a date is a very good way to finally get your friends to stop nagging you about how you never go out and spend too much time at home, cuddled up on the couch with Fluffy your Bichon Frise watching movies on Lifetime! Oh, you know who you are!

These dating advice sites are really cool because they really do give you advice on everything and anything you might want to know about the opposite sex. Here are a few things these dating advice pros might go over with you on blogs, videos, pod casts, etc:

– Things to do and not do on your first date

– Good hygiene practices

– Tips for setting up conversations

– Finding a girl/guy

– Daily Tips

These sites are not the same as dating sites. They simply offer you easy tips on things like how to get a date, what to do on a date, or better yet what to do after the date is over. What’s polite? What’s aggressive? Do girls like guys that are macho or sensitive? Well all you need to know and more is available on these sites in a very convenient, organized manner! If your looking for sites that have dating advice, go online and look for things like Dating Advice. This should find you plenty of sites that are willing to help you out with your current dating dilemma!

This author is a huge fan of Dating Advice

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Relationship Coach Example of How One Partner Can Help Both

If your partner is distant, cold, and rejecting, how could working on the relationship by yourself possibly make a difference? In this real life example from a relationship coach, we can see one way it could.

Many people have either wounds from the past that continue to hurt or they have areas of their life that are screaming for attention. It could be a history of abuse, a need for friends, financial problems, career concerns, or any number of things.

When we find a partner while we still have such problems, it does help us to feel better. It’s like having someone carry you while you have a thorn in your shoe. As long as your partner takes you to where you want to go and is constantly available for you, then all is well. But, if you have to stand on your own two feet–even for a little while, the pain becomes unbearable. Susan (not her real name) had just such a problem.

Susan had a history of social problems since Junior High School. She was never able to make close friends. She had had a couple of friends for a while, but those relationships had gone badly. When Susan met Erik, she believed that her loneliness was over. She thought that she and Erik would always be together. Whenever they were together, Susan no longer felt that loneliness that she had for many years. She felt loved and important.

After a while, though, Susan and Erik started having problems. Erik would sometimes like to do things with his friends without Susan. At those times, Susan would feel it was “unfair” because she had no friends of her own. She also felt that Erik was abandoning her. She saw his desire to spend time with his friends as an undeserved rejection of her. It made her angry and resentful. Yet, she was also afraid of losing Erik because then she would have no one.

Erik was also becoming resentful. He cared about Susan, but didn’t want to give up the fun that he had with his friends. He was also feeling like Susan was demanding that he spend more and more time with her. Their relationship was not fun anymore. This made him withdraw from Susan. Susan experienced the withdrawal as more rejection and became even more demanding. Erik, then felt like withdrawing more. Even when he was with Susan, he didn’t feel the same affection for her that he once did.

Even after Erik and Susan broke up, Susan continued to blame Erik and was angry with him long after he had moved on to someone else. She told herself that Erik had used her–at first only pretending to be interested in her and then later dumping her for his friends and for another woman.

Susan had had two chances to have a great relationship with Erik. The first was before they began their relationship. If Susan had worked with a relationship coach or counselor and learned to make friends, then she would not have been needy when she became involved with Erik. She wouldn’t have felt desperate or rejected when he spent time with his friends. Erik would not have felt like he was being pressured to take care of her needs at his expense.

Susan had another chance to make her relationship with Erik better during her relationship with him. Susan had considered counseling, but because Erik would not also go, she gave up on it. She thought, how could Erik learn the error of his ways if he didn’t attend counseling? Had she had relationship coaching she would have learned more about balancing her social needs by making some friends of her own. Even if Erik were at fault, having friends of her own would surely have made her less dependent and resentful. Erik also, would not have felt like withdrawing. Working on herself, Susan could have created a better relationship with Erik.

There were of course, things that Erik could have done to help the relationship. But, by taking no responsibility for her relationship problems, Susan also became responsible for their breakup. After Erik left her, she soon found another man whom she repeated the same pattern with.

Regardless of the cause of a relationship problem, positive change only needs to begin with one person. Realizing that and working with a relationship coach, you can have a major turnaround in your relationship. If you are waiting for your partner to go to counseling or to make a change, aren’t you also the one who is keeping the relationship stuck? If there is anything that you could do to help your relationship, isn’t it time to do it?

Jack Ito PhD is a licensed psychologist and relationship coach. For 14 years he has helped more than 1000 men and women to have better relationships.
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Relationship Killers: Anger and Resentment

Anger hurts. It’s a reaction to not getting what we want or need. Anger escalates to rage when we feel assaulted or threatened. It could be physical, emotional, or abstract, such as an attack on our reputation. When we react disproportionately to our present circumstance, it’s because we’re really reacting to something in our past event — often from childhood.

Codependents have problems with anger. They have a lot of it for good reason, and they don’t know how to express it effectively. They’re frequently in relationships with people who contribute less that they do, who break promises and commitments, violate their boundaries, or disappointment or betray them. They may feel trapped, burdened with relationships woes, responsibility for children, or with financial troubles. Many don’t see a way out yet still love their partner or feel too guilty to leave.

Codependency Causes Anger and Resentment

Codependent symptoms of denial, dependency, lack of boundaries, and dysfunctional communication produce anger. Denial prevents us from accepting reality and recognizing our feelings and needs. Dependency on others spawns attempts to control them to feel better, rather than to initiate effective action. But when other people don’t do what we want, we feel angry, victimized, unappreciated or uncared for, and powerless — unable to be agents of change for ourselves. Dependency also leads to fear of a confrontation. We prefer to not “rock the boat” and jeopardize the relationship. With poor boundaries and communication skills, we don’t express our needs and feeling, or do so ineffectively. Hence, we’re unable to protect ourselves or get what we want and need. In sum, we become angry and resentful, because we:

1. Expect other people to make us happy, and they don’t.
2. Agree to things we don’t want to.
3. Have undisclosed expectations of other people.
4. Fear confrontation.
5. Deny or devalue our needs and thus don’t get them met.
6. Try to control people and things, over which we have no authority.
7. Ask for things in nonassertive, counterproductive ways; i.e., hinting, blaming, nagging, accusing.
8. Don’t set boundaries to stop abuse or behavior we don’t want.
9. Deny reality, and therefore,
   Trust and rely on people proven to be untrustworthy and unreliable.
   Want people to meet our needs who have shown that they won’t or can’t.
   Despite the facts and repeated disappointments, maintain hope and try to change others.
   Stay in relationships although we continue to be disappointed or abused.

Mismanaging Anger

When we can’t manage anger, it can overwhelm us. How we react is influenced by our innate temperament and early family environment. Thus, different people react differently. Codependents don’t know how to handle their anger. Some explode, criticize, blame, or say hurtful things they later regret. Others hold it in and say nothing in. They please or withdraw to avoid conflict, but stockpile resentments. Yet anger always finds a way. Codependency can lead to being passive-aggressive, where anger comes out indirectly with sarcasm, grumpiness, irritability, silence, or through behavior, such as cold looks, slamming doors, forgetting, withholding, being late, even cheating.

If we’re in denial of our anger, we don’t allow ourselves to feel it or even mentally acknowledge it. We may not realize we’re angry for days, weeks, years after an event. All of these difficulties with anger are due to poor role models growing up. Learning to manage anger should be taught in childhood, but our parents lacked skills to handle their own anger maturely, and therefore were unable to pass them on. If one or both parents are aggressive or passive, we would copy one or the other parent. If we’re taught not to raise our voice, told not to feel angry, or were scolded for expressing it, we learned to suppress it. Some of us fear we’ll turn into the aggressive parent we grew up with. Many people believe it’s not Christian, nice, or spiritual to be angry and they feel guilty when they are.

The truth is that anger is a normal, healthy reaction when our needs aren’t met, our boundaries are violated, or our trust is broken. Anger has to move. It’s a powerful energy that requires expression and sometimes action to correct a wrong. It needn’t be loud or hurtful. Most codependents are afraid their anger will hurt or even destroy someone they love. Not necessarily so. Correctly handled, it can improve a relationship.

Anger and Depression

Sometimes anger hurts us most of all. Mark Twain wrote, “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Anger can contribute to ill health and chronic illness. Stressful emotions wear down the body’s immune and nervous systems and its ability to repair and replenish itself. Stress-related symptoms include heart disease (high blood pressure, heart attacks and stroke, digestive and sleep disorders, headaches, muscle tension and pain, obesity, ulcers, rheumatoid arthritis, TMJ, and chronic fatigue syndrome.

Unexpressed anger breeds resentment or gets turned against ourselves. It’s been said that depression is anger turned inward. Examples are guilt and shame, forms of self-hatred that when excessive, lead to depression.

Expressing Anger Effectively

Managing our anger is essential to success in work and relationships. The first step is acknowledging it and recognizing how it manifests in our body. Identify the physical signs of anger, usually tension and/or heat. Slow your breath and bring it into your belly to calm you. Take time out to cool-off.

Repeating gripes or arguments in our mind is a sign of resentment or “re-sent” anger. Admitting we’re angry, followed by acceptance, prepares us for a constructive response. Anger may signal deeper feelings or hidden pain, unmet needs, or that action is required. Sometimes, resentment is fueled by unresolved guilt. To overcome guilt and self-blame, see Freedom from Guilt and Blame – Finding Self-Forgiveness.

Understanding our reaction to anger includes discovering our beliefs and attitudes about it and what have influenced their formation. Next, we should examine and identify what triggers our anger. If we frequently over-react and view others’ actions as hurtful, it’s a sign of shaky self-worth. When we raise our self-esteem and heal internalized shame, we won’t over-react, but are able to respond to anger in a productive and assertive manner. To learn assertiveness skills, read the examples in How to Speak Your Mind: Become Assertive and Set Limits, and write out scripts and practice the role plays in How to Be Assertive.

In the heat of anger, we may overlook our contribution to the event or that we owe an apology. Acknowledging our part can help us learn and improve our relationships.
Finally, forgiveness doesn’t mean we condone or accept bad behavior. It means that we’ve let go of our anger and resentment. Praying for the other person can help us find forgiveness. Read “The Challenge of Forgiveness.”

Working with a counselor is an effective way to learn to manage anger and communicate it effectively.

©Darlene Lancer 2017

Article from: Relationships & Love – Psych Central, by Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT

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How Long Should You Date Around (After You’ve Met Someone You Like)

Wise Readers: 

How long should a woman continue dating around—or at least being open to meeting new partners—after meeting someone she likes? Tune into my NEW PODCAST/VIDEO with Single In Stilettos!

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Your Life—Not The Lives Of Others

One of the worse illusions perpetrated by social media is that everyone is living a great life—except you. Posts announcing engagements, job promotions, and book contracts; selfies depicting exotic vacations, great parties, and joyful nights out; other pictures portraying loving couples, healthy children, and smiling, happy people everywhere. We are bombarded by these images day and night. Even at parties close friends and perfect strangers go on and on about the wonderful lives they lead.

I have come to think that a great deal of social interaction—virtual and otherwise—consists of mini-competitions in self-boosterism.

Most of what you see and hear about successes and achievements is not entirely accurate. You probably know this already, but you remain silent out of good manners. You don’t want to be known as a “hater”.

Your quiet skepticism does not rid you of the irritating feeling that everyone in your social circle has it better than you: better jobs, more popularity, better relationships, more sex—more of everything that you and the people you know see as valuable.

Don’t give into the feeling. Live your life, not the lives of others.

It seems like common sense. Being comfortable and confident in the path that you have taken toward success, living with the choices you’ve made as far as your profession and relationships, seems as though it is the easiest and most natural thing a person can do.

However, this is not the case. We covet. Envy and jealousy are our instinctive responses to the good fortune of the people around us. Indeed, our nature as humans is so perverse that the closer the friend or family member the greater the jealousy when we hear of their good fortune.

There is no use denying it. You know you have all felt it. All that is left is to acknowledge the feeling for what it is, and the best means of preventing it from overwhelming you is to put things into perspective.

First, announced achievements are rarely as life-changing or life-defining as they are made out to be. For example, I hear all the time about old friends who have gotten salaried positions in academia. This is usually followed by word that they have signed a book contract. It would be perfectly natural for me as a freelance writer whose only published novel, Tea with Maureen, has not sold well to envy such success. But then it occurs to me. The universities they have attached themselves to are rather obscure; they’ve still not even written a book, and by the time they do so I would have published 3; and they are forced to meet the demands of what amounts to an office job, whereas I remain free in how I organize my day.

And this brings me to my second point. Although your desire for money and material comfort is as great as anyone else’s, you know that there are different means of reaching such ends. It is also the case that you value other things besides security. I, for example, could never go back to an office job. I am therefore willing to make less money in order to have more freedom and flexibility in how I organize my life.

The bottom line is that you should not believe that the life you lead is inferior to the lives of others. It isn’t. You must pursue your aims and purposes; you must make the most out of your situation and circumstances.

Article from: TSB Magazine | Dating and Lifestyle Advice for Men, by Christopher Reid

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How to Tell When a Guy Is Jealous: 25 Hints He Just Can’t Hide

That green-eyed monster might be bringing out the monster in your guy! These 25 tips help you decipher how to tell when a guy is jealous.

Not that I am a Jonas fan, but that Nick Jonas song about jealousy always makes me smirk. When he talks about “puffing up his chest,” I get it. We have all seen a guy go all puffy. That is only one way for how to tell when a guy is jealous. But there are signs and clues you might be missing that your guy feels insecure about your feelings.

Jealousy is that little green-eyed monster that makes us do things we normally wouldn’t. But, it doesn’t always come across in a predictable manner, especially with men.

How to tell when a guy is jealous – 25 signs that screams “I am jealous”

Often, guys are not completely in touch with their own feelings. Not really knowing how they feel themselves, their behaviors come across as odd. Sending you mixed signals.

Like a guy punching your arm on recess to show he likes you, sometimes his jealousy doesn’t look much like being jealous. These are some behaviors that send you questioning his love for you, but they say “I love you.” Confused? Men are very confusing creatures.

#1 He won’t talk to you or ignores you. If he is jealous you’d think he’d try to sweet talk or charm you. But, that isn’t always the case. A threatened or insecure guy might try to manipulate you by playing hard to get or by getting your attention by giving you the silent treatment.

If he isn’t talking to you and you haven’t done anything, it might just be his insecurity. [Read: Jealous boyfriend? How to make him not-so-jealous anymore]

#2 He is overly sweet and charming. If your avoidant and non-affectionate guy suddenly can’t keep his hands off you and sweet talk you enough, then he could be afraid to lose you.

Either he sees something in a secret admirer you don’t, or he realizes he can’t take you for granted. The turning on the charm tactic makes you fall head over heels in love with him again.

#3 He suddenly stops texting. Another form of letting you know he isn’t exactly happy with you is to just turn you off through not texting. If your major form of communication is via cell phone and he acts MIA, then he might be trying to send you a very subtle message. He doesn’t like the way you’ve carried on or he’s afraid of your attraction to someone besides him.

#4 He acts all tough when he really isn’t a tough guy. That whole “puff” out your chest thing comes out in him. Like a cock ready for a cockfight, he walks around looking at guys in the room like “you want a piece of me?” when he really isn’t equipped with the kind of toughness to give anyone a piece of him *unless he doesn’t want it returned*.

If your meek man suddenly behaves right out of the World Fighting Federation, it is definitely safe to assume he feels threatened. [Read: 14 things you say or do that emasculates your man]

#5 He is trying to one up and show off. If he throws cash around the bar, offering a drink to everyone, or insisting on paying the tab, then he feels threatened by another guy. Guys think money or “titles” gives them power.

A list of accomplishments, a show of what he knows, or pretending to have an endless bank account, are all ways that signal he is jealous. [Read: 10 unassuming signs that you’re dating a jerk]

#6 He flirts with someone else, which is not his style. It might seem like he is interested in someone else when he is trying to make you as jealous as he feels.

If he flirts with another girl or acts charming, then don’t be afraid that he’s moving on. He may just be trying to show you what you’d miss if you didn’t choose him.

#7 He is uncharacteristically blowing up your phone. If he acts all jealous and tries to get your attention all the time and that isn’t his style, then he worries if he doesn’t, someone else will. Not giving you a moment’s peace, he tries to stay in the forefront of your mind. [Confession: I’m a boyfriend who’s too clingy and needy]

#8 He makes excuses to stop by. Constantly forgetting something or needing to pick things up, if he suddenly has a magnet to your home day and night, then he might be worried you are cheating.

Like playing Magnum, P.I., he keeps tabs on your house and your whereabouts to make sure no one takes his spot.

#9 He starts spying on you, your phone, and your social media. Not just stopping by your house, watching your social media sites, or stalking what you do while he is not around, indicates he thinks you step out on him. [Read: Dating rules: 10 unfair but totally relevant rules we all have to live by]

#10 He just leaves you somewhere. If you’re out with him and you turn around, and he suddenly left you there without a word, rethink how you treated him. Or consider if you treated some other man with some TLC. Sometimes a guy gets pissed and just walks off without a word to wake you up to how you made him feel.

#11 He gets cold and aloof and refuses to engage when out. If he begins to pout like a two-year-old when you are out for the night and can’t be brought out of his mood, he might just be trying to ruin your time because he fears something or someone might be more fun than him.

Don’t foster it by continuing to give into his immature behavior. If you aren’t flirting or doing anything wrong, let him sit and sulk! Eventually, he’ll get over it. If you let in, you let in forever.

#12 He wants to leave like RIGHT now! The music might suck and the venue not fantastic, but if y’all still manage to have a good time and he suddenly insists that it is time to go when you start talking to other people, especially other men. That screams “I am insecure and want to get you out of here before you find something better.”

#13 He wants to end the relationship for no reason at all. Sometimes a guy feels as if he doesn’t deserve you and makes him continually feel on edge. Those feelings of never being good enough leave him pushing you away. A self-fulfilling prophecy, he breaks up with you before he gets hurt by you. [Read: Passive aggressive men: How to help them quit playing games]

#14 Guys night becomes every night. Playing hard to get becomes his M.O. Never wanting to be without you suddenly becomes never wanting to be with you. It isn’t that he isn’t interested in you, he is afraid you might not be that into him.

Another tactic to prevent himself from being hurt, putting the guys ahead of you feels like he doesn’t like you anymore. It might be the exact opposite.

#15 When you ask him what is wrong, he says “nothing.” If he acts strangely but won’t say what is wrong, then it is probably because he won’t admit that he is jealous or insecure about losing you.

If he continues to say nothing, let it go and let him figure it out. It isn’t your duty to pry his feelings out of him.

#16 When you mention a particular guy, his face changes and goes blank. You can tell that there is one particular guy that, when mentioned, seems to send him into a far-away zone or shut down. He is probably jealous of whoever you talk about.

#17 He seemingly can’t be bothered with you, but when you say you made other plans he gets all hurt. He wants to prove that he shouldn’t be jealous because you choose him. When you decide to do something other than hanging out with him, his sullen mood signals he’s probably jealous.

#18 He gives your friends the Spanish Inquisition. Worried about what you have been doing, or even who you have hung out with, he questions your friends relentlessly to see what you have been up to. [Read: 17 big signs of a jealous and possessive boyfriend]

#19 He follows you around or does “drive-bys.” If you catch him just showing up places he wasn’t invited to or doing drive-bys and he doesn’t live nearby, then chances are good he’s jealous and checking up on you.

#20 He stands way too close for comfort. If he acts more like your bodyguard than your boyfriend, he is insecure and wants to make sure he is the only guy to get close to you.

#21 He gets friends and family involved in your situation. When threatened with losing you, he gets your friends and family involved to question them or to get them on his side. That is covert jealousy and a way to control you through who you associate and talk to.

#22 He starts to question your every move. When “how was your day?” turns into “where were you today?” and “who were you with?” that is a sign that he distrusts what you have been up to. AKA, he is jealous. [Read: 17 relationship red flags that most people ignore]

#23 He puts a GPS on you or rigs your mobile devices to know where you are. Yep, there are apps he can install on your mobile device to find out where you are at. If your mobile is glitchy and he seems to know more than he should about your whereabouts, you might want to do a system’s check.

#24 He tries to put you down to tank your self-esteem, so you will stick around. Calling you names is something you haven’t experienced before, but suddenly he tries to tank your self-esteem. That means he is probably jealous and wants to make sure you think no one wants you but him. [Read: 16 abusive relationship signs of a devious lover]

#25 He pushes you away to sabotage the relationship. A systematic takedown, he ignores you, shuts you out, goes out with the guys, and stops answering your calls. Sure, your first thought is that he isn’t into you. He just might be more into you than you think and just too scared that you aren’t that into him.

[Read: How to reassure and win over a super jealous lover]

Of course, there are going to be times when you are both going to be jealous; it is human. But, getting him out of his jealous mode might be as simple as saying “I love you, babe.” If he has any signs above, you’ll know how to tell when a guy is jealous.

The post How to Tell When a Guy Is Jealous: 25 Hints He Just Can’t Hide is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Article from: LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships, by Julie Keating

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Becoming Part Of the Community of Senior Personals

Going back to the dating scene for seniors has never gotten easier than senior personals. If you are part of the community of the older generation, it might be a great problem to go out and be with others. Unlike individuals belonging to the younger generation, you are not anticipated to go bar hopping and hitting on whomever you like as it is too farfetched and preposterous. As we grow old, our worlds are starting to get smaller everyday and this comprises our way of socializing. We are from time to time at the back seat of all while everyone else is enjoying the limelight.

However, with senior personals you can widen and broaden your world back and gain that public scene you have ever sought as much as you can get. There are ways for you to be able to do this and on-line is only one of those. The internet has long lists of personals where you can find the individual you are searching for along with the possibility of compatibility. If you sign up for this method, you might realize that the one perfectly matched for you is one of those on the lists.

If you are searching for people far more than just a friend then they will notice that your goals are such. But, it is a different thing to be out looking for new love because you need to reflect on a lot of other things. However, your most advantage while looking online is that you can get to meet new people from across places. Dating nowadays has changed quite differently from when it was lots of years ago. The traditional dating dynamics has been changed into something faster paced principally attributed to the advent of technology and evolving science.

But, the question remains. How will you deal with all the interest you will inevitably be getting if you are not attracted in it at all? Do you have some special preparation to take this online dating scene into a more serious stage in your life? Do you want to have a joyful and meaningful marriage and dedication out of this online rapport? If you are interested in somebody who is living far away from you, are you prepared to go through the lengths of moving to their new area or compromise on a neutral ground?

So, now you have determined that one way to achieve those senior personals is to go online and find senior singles that are free. You can go chat with them in any way you can and begin hitting off the gas pedal of the rapport field.

You never have to be uncomfortable about going through this scene because the population of people doing the same is growing each day.

The advantage you can get is that you will be completely in control of the circumstances by restricting yourself to someone who have almost the identical likes and dislikes or at least have established a middle ground called compromise. You are already mature to take things earnestly or not seriously as needed be. As long as you are ready and spiritually prepared, nothing could go wrong.

If you are really serious and want to meet seniors online I do suggest you take some time to read resources about senior online dating

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10 Steps That Can Rescue the Relationship

Sometimes saving a relationship is a challenge. It requires hard work, time and the cooperation of both people to rescue the relationship. Are you and your mate fighting constantly? If you want to save your relationship, how can you do this? You already have! By seeking to rescue the relationship, you have taken the first steps: admitting your marital conflicts.

There are 10 steps that can help rescue the relationship. By following them, you and your mate will be on the right track to intimacy and love once more.

Step One – When a relationship begins to fail or has been falling apart for some time, most couples start throwing fighting words that hurt. When a relationship gets to this point, you have to remember there are no winners. One person will have to face up to the whole issue and stop the fighting from ensuing.

Step Two – Remember that a relationship is a work in progress by both people. One person does not decide for the other and vice versa. If there is a breakdown, then both parties are at fault. To rescue the relationship, couples have to look at themselves to figure out what created the problems in the first place. Couples will have to ask themselves what is most important in the relationship and if it is worth saving.

Step Three – One person in the relationship needs to take control of the situation. This doesn’t mean you are in control of your partner, just the situation itself.

Step Four – Be the better person by apologizing and walking away. By diffusing the situation, you can walk away with a clearer head. You do not always have to have the final say.

Step Five – If you really want to rescue the relationship, you need to find another place, a neutral ground, to have some quality time together. A good time to do this is when you are taking a vacation. By spending this time together away from all the memories of hurt and pain, you can find what was once important… your relationship.

Step Six – Most often times when persons in a relationship have an affair with someone outside of it, this causes a greater rift. By the constant arguing that occurs along with it, the person cheating is often drawn closer to his or her lover.

Step Seven – What you least expect to work when you are trying to rescue the relationship is space. Should things be extremely bad between the two of you, spending a few days away from each other tends to work too.

Step Eight – Utilize relationship counseling if things are so bad you cannot move forward. If you are fighting constantly, this is a necessary to move forward together.

Step Nine – Sometimes doing a trial separation is needed. Some couples have discovered that doing something like this ends up saving what they have. It also tends to make their relationship stronger.

Step Ten – Remember that how you act is important than the words you would say. This is also the time to make promises and follow through with them.

Teecee Go writes articles focusing on helping people save their marriage and anyone treasure relationship dearer. You can find helpful information on Save Relationship at BreakupCures.com

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Her Sexuality Is Hidden Literally and Figuratively

Have you noticed your sexual bits are out front and clearly visible, while hers are not? I mean yeah, her breasts are all out there, but her genitals are pretty well hidden even when she’s naked. You can only get a good look if she shows herself to you.

What is true of the physical here is also true of the emotional. Your sexuality is all out there, hers is not. You’re ready at the drop of a hat blouse, she needs far more. When you’re aroused it’s very obvious, while her arousal is hidden.

I think God did this to help us understand the differences in male and female sexuality. If we assume her mental sexuality works very much like her physical we will find sex easier. This is especially true when it comes to getting her to open herself up to you. Just as she was shy about spreading her legs and giving you a long look early on, so too was she shy about showing you the mental and emotional aspects of her sexuality. Nagging might get her to begrudgingly show her body, but it won’t get her to reveal the emotional and mental parts of sex you really want to explore with her.

If you’ve ever been too fast or pushy with her sexuality (and that is probably all of us) please ask her to forgive you for. Even if it was a long time ago, telling her you get it and you’re sorry will make her feel better.

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Dating Advice During My Teen Years

So, I sought the advice of my father. He told me that there were norms that were followed about dating during his teenage years. In his generation, girls were modest, sweet things and easy to please. They laugh at your corny jokes. You’re a gentleman with good intentions if you open the door for them, or pay the dinner bill. I could not comprehend him, but I realized that dating now is more complex than during his time.

I learned that through the years, it is still the same, one can’t get enough dating advice. Everyone’s dream is to find the perfect partner, but this is not going to happen. However, there are various means to find your soulmate. You can do this by getting help from a dating coach who will give you the dating advice that you need for a reasonable fee. It is worth it if they answer all your questions on dating.

There are many available professional dating coaches on dating/personal online. Can these dating coaches help you, find a partner for you. Take it from me, they did for me. I have the love of my life now through the online dating site. I met my love via the Internet and it was a match made in heaven. As I said earlier, don’t look for the perfect one, but the right one, one who would match your needs.

We chatted and emailed each other online for at least a month before we met each other. We found out that we were truthful to each other, so we know what to expect from one another. If it happened to me, it can also happen to you.

Dating coaches online is effective. Right from the very beginning when you avail yourself of the dating advice online, know what you want. Is it a long time relationship, a casual or discreet one or someone for amusement? What do you want, looks or character? There are many dating sites to choose from. Get the one that will satisfy your needs.

Even single parents are helped by some dating sites online. Believe me, what really matters is that whatever dating advice you get from the dating coach, honesty is the best posture to take for yourself or for the one you are looking for so that you will not be disappointed in one another.

Dating is something which takes time to develop between two individuals, so get advice and put in the needed work to find that someone special.

Chris Jensen is a contributing author and editor of Jetfly Blog. For more related articles and reviews visit Jetfly Marriage & Dating Blog now. Also, for the Best up-to-date related Online Products, check out Jetfly Dating Books Shop for Todays Current Online Deals.

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Learn To Be Apart Together

The following is an excerpt from Naked Marriage.

Remember what your spouse was like when you first met?

Remember how you would look forward to meeting him or her for a date at the end of a long week, back when the two of you were both so busy that the date was the only time you were able to see each other?

Remember how purposeful you were with that time?

Remember when your spouse’s ideas, thoughts, emotions, and reactions surprised and delighted you?

Remember when you were attracted to your spouse precisely because of the unique and different way he or she looked at the world?

Over time and in an effort “to become one,” one spouse (or both) makes deeply personal sacrifices in order to keep the peace of the household, assuming that that’s what their spouse desires. But in that sacrifice, a spouse gives up far more than just a hobby, a friend, or a passion. That person loses an important part of his identity. When that happens, a vacuum forms, and whatever highly defining characteristics are near that vacuum get sucked in. Consequently, a person can quickly find himself being defined by his spouse more than his own unique selfhood.

This is why it’s foundationally important to marriage that both partners seek differentiation.

In other words, both partners need to learn to live apart together.

Great marriages are the result of two mature grownups with full, satisfying lives who cooperate with each other to get their needs met. In this kind of lovingly independent relationship, each partner complements — but doesn’t complete — the other. When you approach your relationship with this attitude, you’ll begin to enjoy a marriage where you feel closer together — for the right reasons — and far more attracted to each other.

It’s sexy when your spouse can live life independently of you.

Consider the neediest person you’ve ever known. For this illustration, don’t consider your spouse, even though it may be true. What are your feelings toward this person? Are you excited about them and remember fond memories, or is it something different? I suspect it’s something different because no one wants to be with someone they feel tremendous pressure to “fix” or “keep healthy.”

We often have enough to worry about for ourselves. When I’m around needy people, I don’t feel needed; I feel trapped. And that’s a terrible way to describe a marriage. A mature, loving relationship should lighten your load, not add to your burden.

In order to create this kind of independent relationship, partners have to hold onto their own lives as the relationship evolves. This is often the point in my counseling sessions where one or both spouses push back: “Are you telling me that we’re supposed to live separate lives?” I always hear incredulity in their voices. And I can always see greater incredulity in their eyes when I reply, “Exactly.”

They tend to disbelieve me—or think I’m making some kind of dry joke—because they have often only heard otherwise. Religious and cultural traditions regarding marriage are strong and long-standing, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re right. Often, they’re not the healthiest ways to look at marriage, especially when it concerns the dance of individuality and togetherness that a thriving marriage requires.

Living apart together relies on self-care, not self-centeredness.

Each spouse should continue living an interesting and fulfilling life beyond the intimate relationship with their spouse.

Don’t misconstrue that statement: it doesn’t mean seeking sexual or emotional fulfillment outside of the marriage. Rather, that means that a mature married couple can take responsibility for getting their respective needs met from both their spouse and from other sources (self, friends, family, work, religion, etc.).

Essentially, a spouse looking to defuse a fused relationship should go back to doing what they enjoyed doing before they met their spouse. Of course, there are boundaries, but regaining a person’s selfhood in light of his relationship is an integral part of breaking an unhealthy fused relationship. It’s also very life-giving to the partners who have felt suffocated by the marriage.

Pick up your copy of Naked Marriage here.

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How To Avoid Hypocrisy

I find it nearly impossible nowadays to go more than two weeks without touching on some matter related to politics. Politics has always been a product of culture; but until recently the former has been mundane and boring enough to remain separate from our entertainment and spectacle driven popular culture.

That has all changed, and it didn’t start with Donald Trump. In fact, Trump’s rise is merely the latest sign that politics has become a pop culture phenomenon and therefore deserves the attention of every man.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote an article describing the prevalence of bullshit in the public sphere and why it matters. This week, I want to deal with another poison coursing through the veins of our society: hypocrisy.

Strictly speaking hypocrisy is not, as is commonly believed, saying one thing and doing another; it is rather saying one thing at one time and something quite different at another time. Hypocrisy consists of making contradictory statements; it is pretending to believe something you don’t really believe. With the unmitigated rage that exists on the left and right, the hatred, suspicion, and contempt that two sides have for each other, there is plenty of opportunity for people to compromise themselves by becoming hypocrites.

Hypocrisy is most often called for and sanctioned on the left. Left-wing intellectuals are usually the ones who call for people in their own camp to be dishonest about the way they feel.

The latest example of this rather disgusting practice concerns the widespread contempt that leftists have for Trump voters and supporters. “This is wrong”, says the pansy, weak-kneed left-wing writer, “lefties ought not to say that the people who voted for a man who now intends to strip them of the health care services and benefits that so many of them need are moronic and immoral. They ought to be nice to the Trump supporter, they ought to try to understand why they voted the way they did, they ought to show sympathy for them, etc.”

The latter line of thinking is not new. There has been a lot of talk about trying to understand Trump supporters. I have my own views as to why he got the number of votes he did. But such speculation is really beside the point. If you believe, as many leftists do, that Trump’s mendacious, abusive, and racist nature was on a scale that made him unsuitable for high office, then no amount of sympathy for the plight of his supporters could possibly change your conviction that it was stupid and immoral to vote for him.

Now I usually don’t go in for calling people I disagree with names or thinking that those who don’t see the world as I do are less intelligent than I am. In this instance, however, I sympathize with much of what my fellow leftists feel. In any case, no one should be conscripted into saying the exact opposite of why they feel. Trying to paint over real differences of opinion and feeling, especially when they are this intense and extreme, never works out in the end.

And all the talk of civility and winning over the other side with nice words is utter nonsense. Civility is a convention and social custom; it requires common sensibility and feeling. It cannot come about through mere whim and fancy; it can only be brought into being by the tendency of everyone in a particular group to be fastidious, controlled, and temperate in expression and action. We are far from having anything near this in our politics.

The call to be nice to the other side also rings hollow. It is usually predicated on the assumption that being nice will somehow get them on your side. To this I can only say that anyone who makes a political choice based on what their opponents say about them is not a rational and reliable person. As little time as possible should be spent on courting their support.

The plain fact is that politics in America is in a wretched and degraded state. There is probably little that can be done about it at the moment. But that is no reason for you to become a hypocrite. To avoid this you must spot the many clever ways that writers and other commentators have of getting you to say what you don’t believe. It is an intense and emotional time; it is okay for you to be intense and emotional.

Article from: TSB Magazine | Dating and Lifestyle Advice for Men, by Christopher Reid

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This Girlandamprsquos Thank You Note To Her Single Father Will Remind You Of All The Little Things Your Dad Has Done For You

While the world believes it takes a mother to bring up children, there’s an entire sect of single men struggling to earn respect as able guardians. Because of course, ‘men don’t make good parents.’ A daughter has written a heartwarming letter to her single father, thanking him for being the perfect dad he was to her and it’s making people realize how important it is to appreciate our parents. The letter ends with a beautifully written thank you note that will remind you of all the little things your parents have done for you! Here’s the full letter  that was originally posted on Love What Matters.

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“Today at Meijer, I walked up to select my shaving cream and overheard a mother talking to her daughter about shaving her legs. It was her first time shopping for razors, and her mom was explaining what kind of razor she needed, how to shave her legs, etc. I felt that little punch in the gut that I normally feel when I see a mom and daughter doing mom and daughter things. I can’t help it. You’d think after 14 years without mine, seeing someone with their mom wouldn’t make me sad or jealous, but it just does. This time, however, I couldn’t help but giggle. I was transported back to a similar moment I shared with my Dad. I’ll never forget the look on my dad’s face when I told him I wanted to shave my legs. It was the summer after mom died and some of the girls I went to summer camp with started teasing me about my hairy legs. I remember coming up to dad and being so embarrassed to ask him for help, but man, did he handle it like a champ! For a moment he put his head down; and then he turned the TV off, took me into the bathroom, gave me a new blade on his razor, gave me his shaving cream, and taught me how to shave my legs.

Single dads don’t get the credit they deserve; especially mine and all dads who are left playing both roles. There was never a time in my childhood where I truly thought I was missing out on anything. My dad was so good at fulfilling both roles and making sure my childhood was as normal as possible; that there was never a time I thought Life or God had screwed me over. My dad handled everything: periods, shaving, broken hearts, catty girlfriends–you name it and my dad took it like a champ.

Dad, I know I haven’t said it enough, so here’s a big public THANK YOU for never, ever, ever being too much of a man to be my mom. Thank you for never being too embarrassed to do the girl stuff you had to do, thank you for never making it embarrassing for me to ask you for help. Growing up without a mom is obviously something no one ever wants, but growing up with you was the best. I love you, Dad!”

Article from: RELATIONSHIPS, by MensXP Team

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