Thursday, August 17, 2017

Understanding Charlottesville


The events of the last 5 days have been some of the most extraordinary in recent times. It all started Saturday. American Nazis gathered in Charlottesville, Virginia to protest the decision taken by the city to remove its statue of Confederate general Robert E. Lee. Anti-racist groups descended on the planned site of the white supremacist demonstration in counter-protest. Some minor violence ensued—scuffles involving pushing, shoving, elbowing, etc. were reported.

At 1:42 p.m. a speeding car slammed into the counter-protestors, killing 32-year old activist Heather Heyer and injuring 19 others. That is when the event went from being just another story about the removal of Confederate monuments to a raging debate over race, history, and American values that has consumed the nation and brought the Trump administration to another point of crisis.

Every man, woman, and child in the civilized world knows of Trump’s statements equating the aims and actions of the Nazis with those who protested against them. The story continues to dominate headlines in every newspaper on the planet. But Trump’s position on this matter sheds no light on what led to violence and murder in Charlottesville. Getting at what caused the tragedy can only be done by examining the circumstances surrounding it—that is, to hone in on the terroristic rage that killed a young woman exercising her constitutional right to non-violent protest you must understand Charlottesville as a flashpoint in a much larger social conflict.

Why must you understand Charlottesville? Why is it worth paying attention to the debate that it has set off and taking a position in it? Why should you care at all about Confederate monuments?

A social atmosphere is developing in America the like of which has not been seen since the 1960s. Specific lines are being drawn on the issue of race, and people are being forced to stand on one side or the other. It is becoming increasingly difficult to make and sustain vague, generalized, sentimental statements on these matters. To utter commonplace, catch-all phrases such as “not everything is about race” or “talking about race only leads to more division” will no longer do. Nor will changing the subject when the solution that you know is right happens to be the one proposed by your ideological opponents.

One of the lines of cleavage highlighted by Charlottesville is the battle over Confederate symbols. At the center of the debate over whether these symbols ought to be removed from public lands and other entities lays one question: is it right to go on with the veneration of the Confederate cause?

Here is it necessary to inject a bit of history.

The Confederate cause was not the mere preservation of slavery in the South; it was the extension of it throughout North America. Secession was driven by men who rejected the compromises that had been made on slavery and insisted on its spread without restriction to the new territories.

The Charlottesville incident offers a good example of the fundamentals involved in this debate. Robert E. Lee was in no way an obvious villain. He was no Simon Legree, the archetype of the cruel, depraved, rapacious slave owner popularized in Harriet Beecher Stowe’s Uncle Tom’s Cabin. Lee thought slavery an abomination and secession unconstitutional. By all accounts he was the most courteous, generous, and punctilious spirit in the whole of Virginia. And I do not doubt the historical reports that he wrestled for some days with the decision on which side to join. But that doesn’t change the fact that he and others who thought like him and were in their way perfect gentlemen led armies which aimed to keep alive a system of subjugation, torture, rape, and unceasing brutalization. That is the principle in contention: are you for honoring this cause or are you against it?

American Nazis answer in the affirmative. They would have all Jews exterminated and all people of color degraded, enslaved, and murdered at will by whites. The Confederacy and what it stood for was a kind of golden age from their point of view, and they see the removal of a statue celebrating one of that short-lived nation’s heroes as an affront to all they hold dear.

It is worth neither my effort nor your time to demonstrate the barbaric absurdities of this belief. It is better to turn our attention to the more troubling fact that non-violent, non-racist mainstream conservatives also protest the removal of Confederate tributes. Such persons do not defend the purpose and values of the Confederacy directly, and I doubt that most of them would want a return to slavery. But they create a space for racism to be trafficked through the backdoor rather than up front and over the counter. They do it, I suspect, out of a feeling that if leftists are for it they must be against it. And this has led them into some pretty remarkable and rather stupid ways of reasoning.

Some avoid answering the question are you for or against honoring the Confederate cause by raising the specter of removing all statues of prominent Americans involved in slavery. But there is a world of difference between honoring the American Founders who owned slaves and honoring Confederate politicians and generals who fought the deadliest war in American history for the sole purpose of increasing the political strength of and expanding the geographic space controlled by Slave Power.

Another way they have avoided the question is to talk of Southern heritage. But no serious argument can be made for putting Confederate monuments and battle flags at the center of Southern culture. The American South has much to be proud of. In literature, language, and music, it has produced the most American originals. Jazz, blues, gospel, country-western, rock and roll—all have their roots there. From Edgar Allan Poe to Richard Wright, the South has been the birthplace or home of some of the country’s greatest literary luminaries. The Confederate cause and the leaders associated with it are best left as subjects of history, not objects of veneration and public symbols of honor and moral rectitude.

To remain a sane and thoughtful person in this time of organized confusion and madness requires an intellectual commitment to the gathering of facts and the carrying out of honest analysis. You must be willing to examine your own beliefs and assumptions and you must beware of the range of tricks and conjurations that aim to spur indignation rather than reason. To come to a sound conclusion in debates such as the one instigated by Charlottesville you should do your utmost to discern the central question in contention. Do not allow yourself to be distracted by false naivety, ahistorical claims, misdirection, obscurity through tedium, and other rhetorical booby-traps designed to disrupt clear thinking.

It is important to understand Charlottesville—intelligently, fairly, and honestly.

Article from: TSB Magazine | Dating and Lifestyle Advice for Men, by Christopher Reid

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What to Bear in mind about Senior Courting Expertise

As societal individuals, everyone has the direct have to have for companionship. Which is why, even the widowed plus the divorced types still uncover the approach to place another partner in their lives. And most of all, as one particular real truth that clings for the common scenarios today, even married individuals nevertheless find the urge to search for new companionship. Now the problem has been used up from the relationship expert services which have popularized on the web as a result of time. And now, there is the extensive availability in the attributes from the so-known as senior dating providers.

The senior relationship companies give good results out similar to another courting solutions methods. Senior or aged persons who will be nevertheless sole has located this service probably the most excellent means of spotting the spouse that they so desired in their lives. For being singles for rather some time, there are these situations when seniors come across it awkward to go on with person relationship. Thus, to solve this crisis, 1 can opt for the golf club dating or group dating. Slowly and gradually but absolutely could be the way on how singles can control their personal associations.

Senior relationship services be sure which you get the associate which you specify in your profile. They match your taste and normal with people subscribers in their data banks. It is important that you simply make mention with the form of human being that you want to own like a partner or as being a date.

The senior singles really should locate an environment friendly way on how they are able to comfortably meet up with associates. Being a worthy recommendation to you, it matters that you very first develop a sure relationship or friendship with an individual. You may do that by means of chatting, sending emails to someone from the reverse sexual acts, speaking over the phone, and also the likes. It likewise pays away from to get to understand the mannerisms of an individual specially through conversations. You need to also give good results out within the chance of the personal meet up. Recall that your work would only prove helpful once you get the person to agree to go out and commit time to acquire to learn you as well.

Senior dating providers are at periods provided by many internet internet websites totally free. Senior citizens like you may surf these totally free web-sites and get your lucky stars performing for you personally. The next will be the points that you just would must acquire notice of when partaking in the senior relationship services.

Collect as a lot information as you can. Be sure that there would not be issues that may make issues complicated for yourself in the stop.

When you understand that what you happen to be accessing is a cost-free courting services web site, then be mindful in dealing using the prompts which involve your personal facts and most in particular that which asks to your credit card details. It could be a single fraudulent site that you might be coping with.

If you are lucky sufficient, you might possibility upon your soul mate via the senior courting expert services. It is likewise possible that you just may perhaps find a person who is certainly an excellent conversationalist to although absent your spare time.

Senior relationship providers are to choose from to suit your necessities. This might be the possibility which you’re plainly right after for. That which you need to have can be a trustworthy computer and internet connection. Quickly browse for free internet sites and benefit from the possibility that happens your way.

Sometimes being single can be weary. Have you considered using a free phone chat line numbers or online dating? We’ll you should, because 1 in 5 Re

Sometimes being single can be weary. Have you considered using a free phone chat line numbers or online dating? We’ll you should, because 1 in 5 Relationships Start Online! For a FREE phone chat line trail, visit http://ift.tt/2wd8hcs

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Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Signs Of A Rebound Relationship – How Do You Know?

Breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend can be a very heart wrenching experience. Just like a lot of people who have just been dealt with a breakup, you are probably not sure what you can do next. Well, this can be understood. Regardless of who initiated the breakup, a breakup is a huge blow to many ladies and gentlemen. One day, you can be happily chatting to your lover. Tomorrow, girlfriend or boyfriend makes a decision to bid you farewell.

Anyone who has ever been through a separation will without a doubt understand this experience. In the article that follows, you will learn a few tips that will hopefully help you in getting your ex back. Read on to find out more! If you reading this article, you are probably wondering if your ex is involved in a rebound relationship. You are probably wondering what the signs of a rebound relationship are.

Well, let us first have a quick explanation of what a rebound relationship really is. To put it in a layman’s term, a rebound relationship is simply a new relationship that is started just after a break up.
Usually, a rebound relationship is unstable and will end shortly after. Let us look at some signs of a rebound relationship.

As mentioned above, a rebound relationship is a new relationship started just after a break up. Therefore, if your ex is already in a new relationship, just shortly after breaking up with you, then there is a very high possibility that your ex is simply having a rebound relationship. The next sign of a rebound relationship is that your ex may seem to be spending quite a lot of time with his or her new partner. This is usually a psychological factor. Your ex is feeling loss after the break up and is trying to make up for that loss by having a new partner.

It may also be that your ex is trying to let everyone know that he/she is okay with the break up, even though that may not be the truth. Maybe, your ex just want to have a companion. If you suspect that your ex is in a rebound relationship, chances are the relationship will not last. This means you may still stand a chance to get back together with your ex once the rebound relationship has ended.

Getting your ex back is usually not an easy assignment. And when you feel emotionally devastated, it can be very easy for you to make mistakes that are likely to drive your ex partner further away. However, if you really feel that this relationship is worth getting back, then do not give up so fast. Although getting an ex back is not easy, it is not impossible either.

You may worry about committing mistakes. Well, certain common mistakes can be easily avoided once you are aware of them. Anyway, I hope you have learned some useful tips in the article that will help you in getting your ex back.

Signs Of A Rebound Relationship?

Are you making these common mistakes? Watch a 9 minute video that shows you what these mistakes are so that you will not make them again. You will also learn how to salvage the situation if it is already too late and you have already made those mistakes.

Signs Of A Rebound Relationship

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Laws, Sausages, and Healthy Marriages

One sweltering afternoon, a dear friend of mine and his wife were having a heated argument. Their temperaments, much like the temperature, rose well beyond their comfort so they decided to pause their fight and “cool off” on their porch. The much-needed quiet accompanied a gentle breeze and gave my friend the freedom to think clearly. In his refreshed state he began to chuckle.

“What are you laughing at?” his wife queried.

“I get it honey” he replied between chortles.

“You get nothing” she retorted.

“No, no, honey, I get it. You expose me. When I’m sad, when I’m angry, when I’m hurt, you expose me for who I am. And because you expose me, you are my growth.”

As a psychologist I have often joked with the couples I work with that you never want to see how three things are made: laws, sausages, and healthy marriages. Marriage is the process of being exposed for who we really are. It is the slow peeling of the masks we believe make us attractive leaving us with the blemishes, scabs, and scars from living. What distinguishes a healthy marriage from an unhealthy marriage is the couples’ ability to experience the pain of being exposed and see it as a path to sincere intimacy.

All too often, growth in marriage is marred by the pain of exposure. Being exposed in front of a partner, just like being graded in front of a class, is a position of acute vulnerability. In marriage, we may have to admit that we feel like a failure, that we are insufficient, or that we intentionally hurt our partner. Some marriages are unable to experience growth because couples are unwilling to endure the pain of exposure and be honest with who they are. This creates a relational context where spouses get sneaking suspicions about each other and try to expose their partner to confirm their perceived hypocrisy. The exposed individual senses this threat and often covers the perceived flaw with dramatics, lies, or resentment to ensure their hypocrisy remains in the dark. The pain of exposure prevents us from admitting who we really are, stunting and neutering our capacity for intimate relationships. 

Because this is a human process, it gets more complex. Not only are we petrified of being exposed for who we really are, but we simultaneously crave to be exposed for who we are. The only thing we want more than keeping ourselves safe from exposure is being exposed to someone who we know truly loves us. This push for intimacy and pull from exposure creates an odd push/pull within our marriages. We want to be reliant on our partners, but desperately to want them to see us as sufficient. We yearn for intimacy, but fear being vulnerable. This swirling of desire and fear further inflames the inherent pain of being exposed, blurring our ability to create closeness. 

Life in marriage, then, begins when we are able to endure the pain of being exposed and transform it into personal and relational growth. Unlike promises found in countless relationship articles, intimacy in marriage cannot be achieved by simply applying six rules or doing 11 things that other healthy marriages do. Rather, closeness in marriage occurs as we are exposed and learn how to love ourselves and our spouses in our exposure. This process, like writing a song, is inherently unique and cannot be predicted or premeditated. I cannot learn to love myself by applying someone else’s marriage rule any more than I can learn math by using someone else’s calculator. I have to do the work to solve the intimate mystery that is myself and my partner so that we can both be fully alive. A healthy marriage is more like embarking upon a great expedition than going on a guided tour, it only begins once we venture into the unknown.

While frustrating, the unknown-ness of this paradigm draws out the most profound aspect of marriage: in loving ourselves and our spouses in our exposure we create more of us. The more I am able to love myself in being vulnerable before my wife, the more I am able to be myself. Healthy marriages are not defined by the couples’ ability to exist peacefully or follow a list of rules, but by the depth in which they are able to discover and experience themselves. When our vulnerability is met with love, we become more of who we are. A healthy marriage, then, is an ongoing revelation of the intimate riddle of personhood. 

Suddenly, our pain in marriage is no longer an impingement of personhood but the chiseling away of our insincerity. Each fight and every joy is a unique opportunity for us to become more of ourselves. In pledging our lives to one another, we create the opportunity for us to be exposed, and thus to become. Yet, we often allow the fleeting pain of embarrassment prevent us from embracing our exposure and becoming ourselves. The sad reality of marriage is that it is so, so short. For every marriage, the best case scenario is that we die first, that we can grow intimate over years and not have to endure the pain of missing our spouse. We have, at best, 40 years to uncover our personhood, 40 years to solve the mystery of intimacy.

Because marriage is a process of being exposed, of being revealed for who we truly are, it is one of the most profound prospects for self-discovery. Much too often the pain of exposure blurs our self-perception preventing honesty, and subsequently, intimacy. This leads couples to be bored in their marriages, claiming to be too busy or too tired to actually engage with one another, all the while screaming for an enlivening connection. Couples, in the midst of their push for intimacy and pull from being exposed, never seem to realize that their marriage will only last a short while, that the unique pain their spouse causes creates an equally unique opportunity for self-discovery. Unlike laws or sausages, the messiness of marriage is worth enduring because our lives together are so, so short. Legal declarations will endure but the opportunity for me to be me is limited by my breath. Long after I’m dead people will enjoy savory sausages, but I may only have today to look at my wife and say, “You are my growth.”  


Article from: Relationships & Love – Psych Central, by Matt Varnell, PhD

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Monday, August 14, 2017

4 Useful Baby Boomer Dating Tips

For those baby boomers, which are divorced or separated from their spouses, it is a difficult decision to start dating again after a long gap of several years. Although they may find it to be a nerve-racking experience, the very fact that we humans are constantly craving for companionship forces them to take the forward step towards dating. With a desire of starting a new life, they take the plunge into the exciting sea of dating options. Here are a set of 4 useful baby boomer dating tips; using which, a baby boomer can find a compatible partner with whom they can reestablish a long term relationship.

1. The most important of all baby boomer dating tips is to register with a reliable and trustworthy online dating service. You can browse through the profile of several registered members and get in touch with the person of your choice. The dating service can be used by such baby boomers who find it difficult to return to the romantic world of dating. Through membership in these forums, they get to meet interested, like-minded individuals, who are also hungry for companionship. Registration is an easy process and all you need to do is to post a profile of yours, along with your recent pictures. You need to clearly mention the kind of companion you are looking for so that interested people with matching profiles can get back in touch with you.

2. Since old age brings with it, its unique set of health problems and emotional disturbances, one must be wary of making a life long commitment to his partner. The most important and significant of all the baby boomer dating tips is that before making a commitment, be open to your partner about your health condition; especially if you are suffering from a major life threatening disease.

3. There are exclusive baby boomer dating tips for those individuals who are not comfortable with one-to-one dating. Such shy individuals can opt for group dating clubs instead, and go out together as a group and get to mix with a large group of like minded people. They can do activities together such as gardening, cooking, fishing, pottery, painting, or any other such light activities and during the process, get to know each other better. Group dating is considered ideal for baby boomers and is very popular these days. Here, the partners get to interact through the group and slowly make friends with each other at their own pace. Depending on the comfort levels of both the partners, the friendship can later on be nurtured to bloom into a beautiful lifelong relationship.

4. Of all the baby boomer dating tips, another very important and crucial tip is to consider your safety. Certain locations of the world are very notorious in the sense that the dating baby boomers and seniors fall prey to con artists who post as if they are lonely and on a lookout for companions. They hook and convince you to make a lifelong commitment, all the time keeping a close watch on your property. All that these greedy women want is your money and not your companionship. So, before you move closely with any partner, you must check out her credentials and look for hints of their ulterior motive. This is perhaps the mot important of all the baby boomer dating tips because it has a direct impact on your safety and well-being. A life without a companion is better than a life in slavery of a young woman, who has taken complete control over your finances. So, stay on guard and conduct a background check (crime history) on your prospective partner for your own safety.

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Divorce: The Middle Ground

I find a lot of Christians fall into one of two extremes on divorce: 1) It’s always sin, never allowed, or 2) It’s sad but often unavoidable and not really a big deal.

The first camp is far more vocal. I know leaders of major ministries who say the Bible makes no allowances for divorce, and they can explain away the clear biblical passages to the contrary. One even goes so far as to say if one or both people have remarried it’s God’s will for them to divorce their new spouse (to whom they are not really married) and remarry each other.

The other camp is far less likely to write or speak about their beliefs, but push come to shove they are just as able to explain to you why the Bible doesn’t mean what it seems to clearly say about divorce.

Divorce: The Middle Ground

You can probably tell by how I have described the two camps that I’m not in either one. My reason for this is simple, I think the Bible means what it says, and I see both allowances for divorce and a call for us to do all we can to avoid it.

My understanding is sexual sin breaks the marriage covenant and a divorce at that point is just paperwork recognising what has already happened*. In the case of divorce due to sexual sin, we are told the wronged individual is free to remarry.

I also see scriptural support for divorce in the case of abandonment. The issue of remarriage on this one is not clear. Many suggest divorce is allowed for abuse or addiction. Abuse is such an ugly thing it would have gotten a man killed by her father and brothers in the old testament. Addiction is a fairly new thing as it was difficult to be a full on drunk for much of history unless you were independently wealthy. I think both of these fall under abandonment, but again remarriage is unclear.

Actually, remarriage is the big issue. While we know God hates divorce, we’re never told doing it’s sin. What we are told is that it’s wrong to remarry when we don’t have a biblically valid reason for the divorce. As I read it, folks who had no valid reason to divorce are to stay single or get back with their spouse. I know that’s not a popular stance, and I’m sure plenty of folks reading this are remarried in such a situation. Fortunately, this is not the unforgivable sin, and God’s grace is just as real here as elsewhere.

*All of that said, having a biblically valid reason for divorce doesn’t mean you should divorce. God is all about reconciliation, and if there is any reasonable hope I think God wants us to work for that. Having the right to do it doesn’t mean it’s right to do it!

When we reject God’s allowance for divorce, we create a situation that can foster a great deal of sin. Adultery, abuse, and addiction become something a spouse is forced to tolerate because it’s wrong for them to divorce. On the other hand, when we’re too soft on divorce we encourage folks who could have a good marriage to throw in the towel. We also lower the bar for marriage because everyone knows they can leave and try again if it doesn’t work out. When people who should not be married to each other get married, divorce is very likely.

Let’s work to find what God wants, regardless of how we feel about it, and regardless of who it might offend. Then let’s live that out and encourage others to do likewise.

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Article from: The Generous Husband, by The Generous Husband

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Life Begins at 50

They say life begins at 40. It might come as a long shot, but the same can also be said even if you’ve reached the golden age of 50. One of the wrong beliefs that people have when they’ve reached the half-century mark is that it can be impossible to find a mate. But the truth is when it comes to love, age never matters! Anyone can still or even again find love. Yes that’s right, even singles over 50 counts.

It’s all about where you look. And for anyone looking for a mate, Life Begins is the best website for you. This dating site specifically caters to those singles over 50 who have lost their love or are in the process of starting to search for one. With all the clutter at work and the attention that you have given to your kids, you may not have time for yourself. This website gives you the best place to get acquainted with people who are in the same situation as you are and who are also looking for that special partner.

Life Begins gives you a plethora of options to choose from. The great thing about it is that you can join for free! You can create your own account and you can be specific with your searches. Singles over 50 will also enjoy trying to make their accounts as enticing as ever. It won’t be all about looks anymore. Some of the accounts that you will find can have the quirkiest and most entertaining testimonials about one’s self, making for an interactive experience like no other! And to top it all off, you’ll be sure to see a lot of mates that are willing to get acquainted with you. So don’t waste your time with useless blind dates. When you’re over 50, life has to be a little bit more spontaneous. Life begins at 50, after all.

Denis Bailey – United Kingdom based Search Engine Optimisation Article Specialist

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Sunday, August 13, 2017

Having an Open Relationship

Are you ready to have an open relationship?

Do know what it will ask of you emotionally to have an open relationship?

In many open relationships the first relationship is the primary and other relationships evolves around it.

Family feelings

For many couple who have an open relationship does not feel threaten because they hold on to a family life where none of their friends or family may know about their sexual life.

The other people who are lovers most of the time in an open relationship do not live with the couple.

Who are you pleasing

Having an open relationship is not for everyone because not many people believe it is good for the couple.

Not everyone thinks that it is morally good.

Who are you pleasing when you decide to have an open relationship yourself, your partner or your family tradition?

Emotionally comfortable

If you do not feel that you will be jealous seeing your partner with another person and that you will be emotionally comfortable then your chance of success in an open relationship is higher than most people.

Secondary relationships which are relationships outside of the marriage sometimes are not so clear although you may have rules or agreements because people have conflicts and their emotions cannot be control about who to fall in love with.

Demand

Having an open relationship may demand from you to be more flexible and open to different people’s vibrations and needs which may not be the same as yours.

It may ask of you to do thing that you never did, it may ask of you to hold back on your emotions and not allow yourself to get too involve in case you fall in love with another.

It may ask of you to get along and work as a team and not the primary person in the relationship.

Rules

For some people who get into an open relationship create rules meaning they will go as a couple only and they may agree to have one couple at a time or more than one.

They may also agree to no contact outside the agreed place they meet as a couple.

Others agree to have an open relationship as a single person and agree to not talk about their other relationships outside of the home.
Their partners may know about the other relationships and they both agree to have rules so that things are clear.

Feeling secure

If feeling secure in a relationship is your number one priority then an open relationship maybe too confronting for you if sharing your partner is difficult for you.

Freedom is important

If freedom is important to you and commitment to one person may make you feel tie down then having an open relationship you may consider much easier.

Your life style

There are many different types of open relationship and some may not fit with your beliefs and your life style knowing yourself and your need can give you more insights to what is best for you.

Part of your needs can be the feeling of honesty, the desire for privacy or not sharing with a group and to have your partners share the same thinking.

Conclusion : Having an open relationship as a life style is not for everyone and there are many things to considered before entering into this way of living.

The author grants full reprint rights to this article. You may reprint and electronically distribute this article so long as its contents remain unchanged, and the author’s byline remains in place. Francis is the owner of http://ift.tt/2rTQx3Z if you want more information on free relationship advice in your life you can find at:http://ift.tt/2wGVP1Q

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How to Make a Girl Come: A Woman’s Open and Honest Confession

Unfortunately, there are far too many men who just don’t know the way around a woman in bed. This is how to make a girl come and feel satisfied.

It may be harsh, but it’s the truth. Not enough men know how to make a girl come. They may think they do, but more often than not, the women are just helping themselves out. Or faking it. I know that sounds bad but it’s not exactly that guy’s fault.

Women are very complicated. And on top of that, we’re also fairly quiet about what we truly need in bed. All of this means we’re really just shooting ourselves in the foot when it comes to how often we can orgasm. But if guys were more aware of what women truly need in order to come, it might be a bit easier.

Why you always need to communicate in the bedroom

I’m sure you’ve heard by now how important communication is in a relationship but what about how crucial it is for your sex life? It’s extremely important to tell your partner what you want and need in bed for a lot of reasons.

First of all, all healthy relationships need a healthy sex life. Sex is an important way of connecting and bonding with your partner. If you’re not feeling fully satisfied, it could result in resentment and harmful feelings toward your partner. So open up and start talking about what you like and need in bed. [Read: How to effectively communicate in your relationship]

How to make a girl orgasm and keep her satisfied in bed

If you know how to make a girl come in bed, she’s going to be hooked. But I’ll admit, it won’t be all that easy. You have to practice and figure out what your woman likes specifically before you can make her come every time. But if you need some general help, I’ll fill you in on the most common things girls need in bed in order to finish.

#1 Relax her. The most important thing men need to know about how to make a girl come is that she needs to be relaxed. She can’t be tense and stressed. Guys can get off regardless, usually, but women are much different.

Since a huge part of the woman orgasm is mental, she can’t be focusing on the things that are stressing her out. So you need to get her to a nice, relaxed state first. Give her a massage, do the chores that are making her stressed, and do what you can to make sure she’s at ease. [Read: How to give a relaxing and sensual massage]

#2 Get her to trust you. Since the female orgasm is mental, like I already mentioned, she needs to be able to fully trust the person who’s making her come. If she thinks you’re hiding something or if she just doesn’t trust you in general, it’ll be harder for her to get off. So focus on showing her how committed you are and it’ll be easier for her.

#3 Use your fingers. AKA, don’t skip foreplay. You can’t go straight from making out to slipping yourself in her. It won’t work that way. After making out with her, start using your fingers on her. She needs to be stimulated internally and externally before she can be ready to come. [Read: How to finger a girl and make her orgasm]

#4 You can never go wrong with oral. In order to learn how to make a girl come, you need to learn to LOVE oral. Most women can’t actually get off through g-spot stimulation and reply on clit stimulation to get off. And the best way to do that is through oral.

You’ll have to practice this a lot in order to learn what she likes and needs. Many women need different amounts of pressure and focus on certain areas in order to get there. Take your time and remember what she responds to best.

#5 Ask her what she wants. This is a really easy way to learn how to make a girl come. Just ask her what she wants. Some girls still may be too shy to talk but if you ask, she’ll be more likely to tell you. The next time you’re getting busy, just ask her what she wants you to do.

#6 Listen to what she wants. After she’s been clear about what she wants, you actually need to do those things. If she says she needs oral, then do it. If she says she needs certain positions, then do them. Don’t ignore what she needs most because she won’t get off and she’ll be annoyed you didn’t listen. [Read: 10 ways to be a better listener in your relationship]

#7 Pay attention to her body language. A woman’s body language gives away everything. She might not be able to tell you what she needs, but her body will. Focus on her breathing, the sounds she’s making, and the way her body responds to your touch. You’ll learn pretty quickly what she likes and what doesn’t do much if you’re paying attention.

#8 Last longer. Sorry, not sorry. This is essential. Women take far longer to reach orgasm than men do. It’s just anatomy. But men need to learn how to hold off from coming until their woman does. Either that or they need to know how to finish her off afterward.

You can prolong your orgasm easily if you just pull out and go down on her for a minute or so until you’ve relaxed. You can also masturbate the day you know you’ll be getting some and practice lasting longer and longer each time. [Read: 20 ways to easily last longer during sex]

#9 Try new things. Don’t go for the same moves you always do. If your girl isn’t finishing with them, then why repeat them. It’s important for the both of you to try new things in the bedroom because you never know what you’ll both like.

You could do something that she didn’t even know she would like. So switch it up and try some new moves every now and then.

#10 Show her that you’re enjoying yourself. I know it might take a while to learn how to make a girl come, but it should be a fun experience. Show her that. She needs to know that you love trying to get her off and you especially love when she actually comes. This will help her relax and not feel so selfish when it’s taking her a while.

#11 Focus on the clit. Clit stimulation is major for learning how to make a girl come. Many can’t get off from penetration so they need you to give their clit some focus. You can do this while you’re in her by using your hand on her as you’re going at it. Make sure to adjust your speed and pressure until she’s responding positively. [Read: 10 sexy ways to please her clit and leave her satisfied]

#12 Find her g-spot. It’s there. All women have one. You just have to locate it and then find the positions that work best to hit it. Generally speaking, the women’s g-spot is on the front wall of her vagina a few inches in. However, you can’t always feel it if it’s not stimulated. Fingering and turning her on a ton will help you find it.

#13 Don’t forget the rest of her body. Her genitals are not the only places that can turn her on. Her breasts and nipples can play a huge part in getting her off. Focus on sucking, squeezing, and even biting them. So long as it seems like she likes it, it’s fair game.

[Read: How to satisfy a woman in bed and make sex amazing]

I know how difficult it can be to learn how to make a girl come. But once you do, you’ll realize that it’s all about getting to know her needs and paying attention to what works best.

The post How to Make a Girl Come: A Woman’s Open and Honest Confession is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
Article from: LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships, by Bella Pope

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How to Know if Someone Misses You: 17 Ways You Know They Do

If you really miss someone, it’s nice to know they miss you too. Here are 17 ways for how to know if someone misses you too.

Missing someone feels very painful. It’s also a lonely experience. When you miss someone, it takes a toll both physically and emotionally. You may either go off your food or turn to junk food to comfort you. You find it difficult to concentrate on anything other than thinking about them. You find yourself crying all the time. If you understand how to know if someone misses you, it provides a small shred of comfort, knowing they feel it too.

Of course, there may be many reasons that make you miss someone. It could be they moved far away. Or you were in a relationship and now you are not. But one comforting thing is knowing they also miss you too.

How to know if someone is missing you

If the other person feels the same way, then often you can make amends and find a way to get together again. On the other hand, if you are sure they are not missing you, it is time to move on.

So, how do you know if someone misses you? Here are 17 signs that make it pretty clear.

#1 You’re still friends on social media. If someone hated your guts, they would just remove you from all their social media channels, right? If they aren’t doing that, it’s probably because they want to keep track of you. They keep looking at your pictures and still have that connection with you so they can try to get in touch if they want to, and you can with them too.

Of course, if they tell you they must remove you from social media because it hurts too much looking at you and your past together, this could well be a sign too. [Read: Does my ex want me back? How to decode their deepest desires]

#2 They haven’t found someone to replace you. Someone ready to move on from you would be out there in the world seeking a replacement! If they haven’t found anyone else, it’s probably because they still pine after you and hope you’ll reconnect.

#3 They call you and text you *particularly late at night*. Late night calls and texts usually mean one thing. They’re wasted. The first thing they want to do is speak to you again. If they were out having a great time and not thinking about you at all they wouldn’t bother trying to call or leaving you messages. If they do, it’s because you are on their mind. Alcohol gave them the courage to get in touch. [Read: 15 subtle signs your ex wants you back but won’t admit it]

#4 Post lots about their new social life on social media so they know you’ll see. Okay, so here they are almost certainly trying to make you sit up and take notice of them. People work in mysterious ways sometimes. If they seemingly always have an amazing time with lots of people you’ve never seen or heard of before, they’re trying to make you jealous.

#5 They disparage you or your new partner. If they make snide comments about you or a new partner, they clearly still hurt and miss you. They lash out to try and make you feel as bad as they do.

#6 They try to reminisce loads about the past. Are they always talking about “the good old days” or try to get you to remember the good times you had? It’s because they miss you loads and wish they could get back to that place and time.

#7 They post pictures of themselves at your favorite spots. They clearly are taking a trip down memory lane, thinking about all the fun you had together. By posting it for all to see, they try to get you to remember too.

#8 They always seem to be “bumping” into you. Do you casually bump into them an unusual number of times? If they know the places you are likely to be and are always there, it’s probably in the hopes they will be able to see you.

#9 You get notes or letters. Do they write you cute love letters? Or even poems? This is a pretty sure-fire sign that they miss you and pretty desperately want to get you back in their life!

#10 They don’t give your stuff back. Did you exchange lots of gifts over the years or perhaps you left your favorite t-shirt at their house? If they always make excuses not to give it back to you, it’s probably because they snuggle up in bed with it every night! [Read: 15 reasons why your ex still texts you and stays in touch]

#11 You see pictures of them wearing that t-shirt/necklace/sweater you gave them. They’re clearly showing you they still think about you. If every single picture you see of them, or every time you see them face to face they still wear something you gave them, it’s clear they miss you lots.

#12 They always try to meet up. Are they always coming up with great reasons why the two of you need to meet up? Do they get more creative, weird, and nonsensical as time goes by? This person obviously yearns for you bad, but doesn’t want to let you know directly in case you don’t feel the same way.

#13 Their friends and relatives are still nice to you. They have clearly told their nearest and dearest they miss you greatly. So, everyone that loves them is doing their best to be nice to you, to try and win you back!

#14 Your pictures are still all over their social media. If your face is still all over their social media accounts, or they repost or share memories of the two of you together, it’s clear they think about you loads and would love to see you again.

#15 They try to get info from your friends. Are they aways trying to get sneaky intel from your friends about what you are up to, who you have been hanging out with, and whether or not you possibly miss them too?

If your friends mention your ex always pesters them for information, or even subtly ask about you, it’s because they miss you loads. They’re looking for ways to get back together.

#16 They still hang out with your mom/dad/sister. Were they super close to your family? Are they finding it hard to let go? If you come home from work and they’re sharing a cheese sandwich with your mom, it might be because they love her. More likely, it’s because they love you!  [Read: 10 signs you should definitely get back with your ex]

#17  When they tell you. The most obviously sign that someone misses you? They tell you, of course! More often than not people won’t play games, they tell you straight up, and then the ball is in your court as to whether you are going to do anything about that or not!

[Read: 10 things to do when your ex wants you back: Is it what you want?]

So, there you have it, 17 signs that definitely help you how to know if someone is missing you too! Now, it’s up to you about what to do.

The post How to Know if Someone Misses You: 17 Ways You Know They Do is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Article from: LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships, by Bethany Cadman

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Does She Share Your Vision?


Big tits, great lips, a great ass, a warm and wonderful smile—your girl seems to have it all. That is why you flirted with her, chatted her up, and took her out. She is beautiful in appearance and mind-blowing in bed. But is that enough? Is she really the woman that you need at this stage in your life?

If you are man who has reached the top in your profession, or is nearly there, everything you do and everyone who shares your company will be scrutinized and judged by your peers and the jealous minions below who are waiting for you to make one false step so that they can take your place.

Having a gorgeous woman as a girlfriend or partner is not without its advantages. Your colleagues—most of whom are probably men—will welcome a sexually appealing woman in their presence. And if your girl is a more than adequate hostess, then you will be able to carry off with some success the mandatory entertainment that all powerful men must offer.

If she has some education and a middle class upbringing, she will know how to execute such tasks without difficulty. The more pressing issue is does she share your vision?

There is a world of difference between how you get on in public and the relationship and values you share in private. If you are a man of energy and vigor, if you are filled with ambitions beyond even what you have already achieved, you must have a partner who shares your aspirations. Let me be clear. It is not enough for her merely to support you in your endeavors; she must know what role she will have as the woman by your side—as your lover, partner, and friend.

Perhaps the best model of what I’m talking about is Claire Underwood from the hit television series House of Cards. The wife of President Frank Underwood is no shrinking violet; she is no meek and humble wife who walks silently behind her husband. She is as hungry for power and as aggressive in the pursuit of it as he is. This is the kind of woman—though Claire Underwood herself is perhaps on the extreme side of things—that you want as you continue to climb.

And you should be under no illusion: you will need one woman. The image of the playboy powerbroker is more fantasy than reality. You can only attain your goals if you concentrate your energies and attention; and it is impossible to do so if you’re frittering away your time chasing every no-account skirt all over the city. Doing so is perfectly fine and natural when you are young, inexperienced, and relatively junior. But once you’ve gotten within striking distance of all that you have worked hard to get it is better to leave womanizing in the past.

As hard as it may be to admit, the girl you’re dating now may be all wrong for the next phase of your life. She may be, in a manner of speaking, a relic of your more irresponsible years. It may be time to let her go and look for someone who is right for what you must do next.

Successful men need women who are comfortable in the presence of power—financial, material, and intellectual power. They need a woman who will take an active part in advancing their careers and protecting them against sneaks, traitors, and haters. If you can sense that your time has come and that your rise to the top is inevitable, it is time to settle on a woman who is ready to accompany you as an equal.
Article from: TSB Magazine | Dating and Lifestyle Advice for Men, by Christopher Reid

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Best Subscription Services For Couples

Like the best things in life, most meal kit delivery services — Blue Apron, Green Chef, etc — are tailored for people in relationships. This is an injustice only to single people. Couples, however, benefit from a world that caters to their mutual affection and commitment. For them, there are not just meal kit delivery services, but a plethora of subscription boxes they may choose from. And al…

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12 Things She's Not Telling You But Wants You To Know Anyway


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Discover Your Hidden Super Power


I’ll be honest –

Many times as husbands, we can be wimps.

In fact, if you’re like me, there are times when you can play the wimpy, victim role very well.

This is a classic Nice Guy trait.

You hear it in what we say to ourselves and others:

“It’s just not fair.”
“How come she always gets her way?”
“If they would just …”

The Nice Guy paradigm begins in childhood as a survival mechanism. In order to get their love and attention needs met they develop this belief; “If I’m good and do what’s right, I’ll be loved, get my needs met, and have a problem free life.“

The problem with childhood survival mechanisms, we carry them forward into adulthood and expect them to work like they did when we were children.

We all do this to some degree, but they seldom work as intended.

The Nice Guy however, carries with him the belief that he can create a problem free and smooth life.

The truth is, this is an impossibility.

Life is chaotic.

Life is struggle.

Life is filled with things beyond our control.

But the Nice Guy believes otherwise. He is convinced that if he does everything right, everything will go right in his life.

The Nice Guy reacts to the fear of an out of control world by seeking to control everything around him, thus eliminating the fear (at least in his mind).

And if you’re honest with yourself, you do this too.

To move beyond fear and seeking to control everything around you, you must reclaim your personal power.

This is the state of mind that is confident you can handle whatever life throws your way. It’s the ability to face the fear of a situation in life and do it anyway.

The first step to reclaiming personal power involves surrendering.

Ironically, the most important aspect of reclaiming personal power is surrender – letting go of what you can’t change and changing what you can – and once again, this begins and ends with you.

I’ve worked with many married clients who’ve felt stuck in their marriage and under the power of their spouse. They didn’t want out of the marriage, only to feel unstuck.

When they realized that they alone are responsible for their life and then lived according to their own integrity and values, they began reclaiming their personal power and changing their life. And due to the nature of systems, when they changed, their marriage changed – mostly for the better.

Steve (name changed obviously due to confidentiality) is a good example of this process. When he came to therapy, he wanted to “fix” his spouse because she was moody, depressed, and had almost no interest in sex. As the process unfolded, Steve began to acknowledge and own up to his role in the marriage. He also realized that he had almost no outside interests and no male friends.

All of his attention was focused on his wife and her “issues.”

Steve wanted the magic key that would help his wife feel better, thus increasing the likelihood that she’d then meet some of his needs. He also lived in tremendous fear that his wife would leave him if he didn’t take care of her.

He was in a major quandary.

The answer to his dilemma was discovered when began to no longer work to change his wife and focused on changing himself.

He began to realize that he could not control his wife and her moods or interests, but he could control his.

When Steve began to live more in line with his core values and integrity and less in fear of his wife’s reactions and feelings, a tremendous shift occurred in their marriage. He found that he has less disappointments and frustrations with his wife and began seeing her as a “gift” in his life. At the same time, his wife began to step up and address her frustrations in her own life and sought help for her depressed moods.

This process involved a great deal of fear and anxiety for both Steve and his wife, but they faced the fear and moved forward knowing they could handle whatever may happen.

Perhaps you’re in a similar situation or you’ve noticed that you’re a Nice Guy (or Pleaser) and want to change.

If so, the Husband Mastermind Groups are beginning again in January. Click here to learn more.

Source: No More Mr. Nice Guy, Dr. Robert Glover
(photo source)

The post Discover Your Hidden Super Power appeared first on Simple Marriage.
Article from: Simple Marriage, by Corey

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Saturday, August 12, 2017

Unplug This Holiday And Plug Into Marriage

unplug

There are many things of which a wise man might wish to be ignorant.~Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you are like me, you spent a good deal of your day with your computer on, Gmail (or whatever email service you use) running in the background, several browser screens going throughout the day, as well as a few other programs thrown in for good measure. To top it off your phone is placed right next to your laptop.

Yet, even with all this “work” open, I can waste a day with the best of them. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that I will also have music playing and/or the TV on as well.

I am thoroughly immersed in noise and distraction. And most of this noise is negative and overblown. Don’t believe me, watch your local news and tell me what you see.

With 2017 right around the corner, what if you went on an information fast? Try unplugging from most of the “noise” sources and spend more time with family, friends, or outside. 

What I am proposing is an information diet.

This starts with employing some selective ignorance.

When you take more charge of your personal life and your family life, you don’t need to know as much about what others are doing. You can become more concerned about what you are doing. This produces action.

Many times my wife and I have had the discussion about not enjoying a particular season or phase of life. What breaks us free from this gloominess is action. Creating an intentional life and relationship requires massive action.

If you are interested in producing more action as you design your relationship and unplug from the cyber-connected information world, here are a few suggestions:

  1. Take an inventory of the information and noise sources you consume each day. Rate them each as necessary, irrelevant to your goals, negative, or beyond your concern. Be honest. I will bet that much of the information you consume is in the latter three categories.
  2. The next step is to unplug from all but the necessary. Focus on consuming only the information important for you and your family’s goals each day.
  3. Then pull the plug on these sources everyday at a set time, say 7 PM, in order to spend time with your spouse and family. This includes business and personal emails, phone calls, time wasting TV shows, etc. Let voicemail do its job. Save your correspondence until the next day, then take a focused hour and get it all done.

With the time you will free up by unplugging, do something together. Go to bed early, talk, play legos with your kids. Trust me, the information you may miss when you unplug isn’t that important anyway. If there is something that is truly an emergency, you’ll hear about it. But the time you spend with your family and marriage is worth it. It will produce more action, which will generate more energy, which will allow more freedom to design the relationship and family you desire.

When it comes to information, less truly is more. In 2017, my challenge to you is to focus on what matters.

The post Unplug This Holiday And Plug Into Marriage appeared first on Simple Marriage.

Article from: Simple Marriage, by Corey

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Do You Underestimate Yourself?


Conventional thinking would have us believe that the problem suggested by the title does not exist. If anything, there seems to be a superabundance of people overestimating themselves. From Trump on down, we live in an age that encourages and rewards boastful, arrogant, shamelessly self-promoting louts who believe they can do any job or take on any task without the slightest bit of preparation, study, or experience.

Trump of course is an extreme case; but you have no doubt encountered the kind of person I’m talking about in your everyday life. He is the man who, hungry for advancement and more money, exaggerates his ability to do a job, and having blustered his way into it fails miserably—leaving in his wake chaos, confusion, frustration, and more work for everyone else.

However, the opposite danger also exists. In the field of psychology, the Dunning-Kruger Effect consists of a cognitive bias in which people of low ability suffer from an illusory belief in their cognitive superiority. In the various tests that have been done to prove the soundness and validity of this hypothesis it was found that people whose abilities are actually superior underestimated themselves.

The more educated you are the more aware you are of how much you don’t know. This can lead to a tendency to shy away from tasks, jobs, and challenges that are unfamiliar to you, or that you do not feel completely mastered in. But this is exactly the wrong attitude to take.

When I was a naval officer, I recognized almost immediately the benefit I had gained from my four years of study at the U.S. Naval Academy. Junior naval officers are shuttled from one job to another with very little training and experience in the departments they are assigned to. Sometimes they are sent to month-long training courses to fill a specific billet. But when they arrive to the ship they find that circumstances have changed and they are told to run a completely different division or department.

This happened to me a few times. I had to master the inner workings of the division that was put in my charge quickly; not so much to run the day-to-day operations, which was done by the senior enlisted, as to keep my immediate superiors updated on what my people were doing and how it fit into the ship’s overall mission.

Two lessons from this experience can be applied more generally. First, if you are in the same field or practice and have the opportunity to work in an area that differs from yours in a slight or moderate way, then you should go for it. My years of schooling gave me a few advantages as a junior officer, moving from job to job. They instilled in me considerable skill in problem solving and some knowledge of how warships and the naval service in general worked.

The other thing you ought to keep in mind is that your role may require that you only master the principles of the work you will be involved in. This is especially true of management and supervisory positions. Unless the job requires highly specialized knowledge, learning the aims, processes, problems, difficulties, interconnections, and main practices of the work is usually sufficient to function as head of the group that carries it out.

The bottom line is that you should be on guard against underestimating yourself. Your education and experience count for more than you might think. You should not shy away from tough assignments because you have not mastered every detail of what they might include.

Article from: TSB Magazine | Dating and Lifestyle Advice for Men, by Christopher Reid

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Friday, August 11, 2017

Here's Why You Should Definitely Date A Girl Who Loves Animals

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5 Rules For Over 50s Dating For Over 50s Singles

The over 50s dating for over 50s singles experience can be both gratifying and pleasurable. Following these five simple rules will help you in your journey to find the perfect mate.

Rule #1 – Mindset is the key to over 50s dating. Dating as an over 50s single is totally different than when you dated in your 20s or 30s and may have been looking to be successful. This time the dating scene requires a different approach, it’s different than any other type of dating.

Rule#2 – We all have families therefore we all have baggage. Most over 50s singles have been in long term relationships, often marriages, many with children and that means baggage. If you think you don’t have any baggage you haven’t looked hard enough. It is okay to have baggage, as long as when you start dating you leave it at the curb. There will be plenty of time to unpack it later.

Rule#3 – Your ex doesn’t belong on your first or second date. What I mean is… don’t discuss your ex on the first few dates, it’s a no win situation and will create a huge chill in the air. Go out on a few dates, get to know each other, reinforce all your great qualities. Then if you end up dating more long-term the topic will and should come up. You’ll need to take it real slow and start with the small baggage first. If you’re getting to much pleasure when taking about your ex, then pay attention to Rule # 4.

Rule#4 – Before jumping back into dating right away, take some time to ponder where you have been and where you are going. As one of the over 50s singles, this can be a great time to pursue the second or third phase of your life and get it right this time. So take an honest look at the past and learn how you can improve yourself. Take a look at the self help or even therapy options. It may be hard, but be clear about what you want, it will be easier than trying to change your partner… we all know that never works.

Rule #5 – Fun, Fun, Fun! Even though we tend to become serious as we enter the world of over 50s dating, it’s important to lighten up and have fun. As your focus shifts to finding your soul mate, you can probably still remember what it was like to date in your 20’s. Back then the intent was to find someone to be with the rest of your life, have a family and create a wonderful career. As one of the over 50s singles, you now have the chance to loosen up and begin to pursue the activities, interests and hobbies that you enjoy.

The Author Will Hemle, personally reviews Dating for over 50s sites. He has personal knowledge of over 50 singles dating, being one of the dating over fifty seniors he speaks of. He has helped many Over 50s Singles to become a dating online senior and find their true mate. Click here to get your Free Personality Profile. Over 50s Singles

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