Interoffice Relationships Good Or Bad

There are often situations where people find that they are attracted to someone at work. This is not something that can be helped. We do not determine who we are going to be attracted to or fall in love with. However, there are certain things that need to be kept in mind and considered before entering into a relationship with a co-worker.

The first thing that you need to do is find out what your companies policy is on dating among co-workers. Read your employee manual and see what it says. If you cannot find information there, you may need to go to a supervisor for information. The only problem with this is that the person is going to wonder why you are asking. If interoffice relationships are forbidden, you could be putting yourself into a bad situation before you have ever done anything. You will be under the microscope just for asking. So, if you can find the information any other way, it is best to avoid going to higher ups.

As we cannot control our feelings and desires, there is really no way to avoid falling for a co-worker if that is what is meant to be. However, there are often risks and complications involved. You could end up losing your job once the relationship is out in the open. You could also have problems with other co-workers who may not approve of the relationship. Your boss could start treating you differently due to the fact that you are involved in a relationship within the office. There are numerous possible consequences of pursuing a relationship at work.

Talk with the person that you are interested in to determine what the best way to deal with the situation is. If you are both attracted to each other, you need to decide how to tell people. You will also want to discuss how you will handle any problems that arise. If there is a rule about not dating, you need to decide if the relationship is worth losing your job over. In some cases one person could switch to a different office or department. At other times, one person may need to quit their job in order to have their love and happiness. There are many possibilities and you both need to know how to deal with them before they come up.

Do not try to hide the relationship if you both decide it is what you want. You will often find that honesty is the best policy. If you are open and upfront with everyone from the beginning, you are more likely to get a more favorable response. If you try to hide it, then when it is found out, there could be much worse ramifications of your behavior and denial. Everyone needs to be made aware as soon as the relationship has begun. Tell your boss how you plan to deal with the relationship and the possible problems.

No matter what you do, it is important to avoid letting your relationship interfere with your work. This is the most common reason for a relationship to be frowned upon at work. It is also likely to result in negative repercussions. Keep work and personal life separate from each other at all costs.

Do You Know The Dating Principles

Dating is something that is personal and individual. There are no set rules or circumstances in dating. Every person is different and every date is different. There are some guidelines and basic ideals that will help you when you are stepping out into the dating world. .
You need to be able to have a conversation with people. If you are not able to talk to someone, you are not going to be able to go on successful dates. You need to be able to have basic conversations. This is not to say that you have to be able to pour out your heart and soul to a date. You just need to be able to have a basic conversation and keep someone’s interest and attention in you.
Honesty is another very important part of dating. If you are not able to be honest with yourself and with those that you come in contact with, you are not going to get anywhere. You will immediately set yourself up for failure if you are dishonest. Being honest with you is just as important as being honest with others.
You need to know exactly what you want out of things and what you are looking for in a date. If you have false hopes or unrealistic ideas, you are not going to get anywhere. You are setting yourself up for failure before you even start. Look within yourself and decide what it is that you want before you start looking for someone to date.
Be particular about where you go to look for people to date. Bars and nightclubs are bad places to meet people. Most often people in these places are under the influence of alcohol. They are impaired and not capable of entering into a relationship or even a simple date.
You could set up a date with someone and then they could have forgotten it by the next morning. Or, you could become intoxicated and make poor decisions. This can lead to a wide variety of problems. It is best to avoid these situations at all costs. If you do go to a bar or a nightclub, it should not be for the purpose of looking for a date or trying to start a relationship.
When you are starting to date, it is important to take things slowly. You do not want to rush into something and end up ruining a wonderful thing. Take your time and really get to know the person that you are spending time with.
Do not push to advance your relationship or push for more. You will both know when the time is right. You will be able to discuss your thoughts and feelings and you will both communicate and talk about when to move to the next level of your relationship. If you are both happy and things are going well, there is no reason to move faster than you are comfortable with. If the relationship is good, then neither of you is going anywhere and you will both still be there no matter what.
As you can see the dating principals are a matter of common sense and treating people the same way you want to be treated.

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Dating After Divorce - Something Your Need To Know

Dating After Divorce Can Be Easy Or Difficult.  Many people have a difficult time getting back into the dating world after they have been divorced.

It is very possible to have a successful relationship after a divorce. Watch the video for more details.

Deciding To Live Together

When you have been dating someone for awhile and decide that you are ready to live together there are things that have to be considered. You need to carefully plan and figure out all of the details. If not, you are both setting yourselves up for disaster and lots of problems. A decision to begin a live in relationship is one that cannot be taken lightly. It is a big decision and one that will affect every aspect of the lives of both parties.

If you have decided that you want to begin a live in relationship with another person, you need to spend time together talking about your decision. If you are not both on the same page and both wanting to live together, the relationship will never work. You will find that you have more problems than you ever anticipated. Your relationship will begin to deteriorate and fall apart. Fighting and arguing ensues and soon you are both parting ways.

The key to a successful relationship is communication. You have to be able to talk to each other and work through things. Most often problems can be resolved simply by talking. You can also prevent problems by taking the time to communicate and understand each other. It is very simple to find out how a person feels about the relationship and the possibility of beginning a live in relationship.

Before entering into a live in situation with another person, there are some important factors to keep in mind. Most often people that make a decision to live together have been dating for an extended period of time. They have gotten to know each other very well. They both have an understanding of what they want out of the relationship. They are committed to a long term relationship with each other. They both want to be together and have gotten close enough to where they are ready to take that next step and move forward in their relationship.

After a decision has been made to live together, there are other factors that come into play. You need to decide which person will be moving or if both people are. This can be a tricky situation in itself. The decision is sometimes dependent on current housing situations and other factors. Perhaps one partner owns their home or has more room. There could be children involved in the decision. If you have children, chances are that you do not necessarily want to uproot them and move them to a new home. This can impact your decision.

No matter what the situation is, know exactly what you want going in. Do not make a decision in haste. Take the time to process everything and consider all aspects. Think about the long term consequences of your decision. Is the person that you are considering living with someone that you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with? If not, you need to reconsider your decision and not rush to move in.

Best Personal Ad Tips

Best Personal Ad Tips: The Best Way to Advertise One's Self

In business, no company can exist without the help of an advertisement. It's their way of making their products known to people with less effort on hard selling.

In the other areas like online dating, advertisements are also needed in order to make somebody known to other singles in the dating circle. This can be achieved through personal advertisements.

Using personal ads, better known as personal profiles, people from different places have greater chances of meeting other people with whom they are compatible.

The main function of personal ads is to present an individual's personality to other people in order to find a suitable match.

Unlike copy ads, personal ads are not difficult to write. However, it still requires skilful writing and description in order to gain positive results. Therefore, for people who wish to know some tips on how to write personal ads, here's a list that may be used as a guide.

1. Get reader attention through good headlines.

Just like in copy ads, headlines are important in personal ads. This is because headlines are responsible in catching your reader's attention.

If the headline fails to attract somebody to read one's personal ad, chances are, the rest of the personal ad will not be read.

Therefore, it's best to create personal ads with headlines that can grab attention.  A catchy title can entice the other person to read the ad.

2. It's best to be honest when describing yourself and your personality.

Describing yourself is a critical step in developing a personal ad. In fact, because of so much interest on getting a date online, some people tend to exaggerate on their personality description, which comes across as phony.

The rule of thumb in order to get positive results on personal ads is that people should always be honest. In this way, there will be a consistency.

3. Pictures can really make a difference. So, it would be better to place a picture on the personal ad for some visual purposes.

The bottom line is that, like copy ads, personal ads entail careful combination of words, pictures, and values like honesty. If a person is able to incorporate all of these in his or her personal ad, chances are, he or she will get positive results.

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Age Differences In Dating

Some people are attracted to members of the opposite sex that have a significant age difference from them. They may prefer dating someone that is younger or older. This is often a matter of personal preference and there are many reasons that people choose these relationships. It is dependent on the individual person and their life.

In most cases, women are attracted to older men. This may be due to the fact that women mature at a younger age than men. In order for women to date a guy that is as mature as they are, they have to resort to older men. For some women, younger men that are less mature are not an issue.

They enjoy having a relationship with them and it all works out fine for both people. However, for some women having a mate that is less mature is almost like having a child. They do not want to have to mother their partner. They want the compatibility and the even keel. Again, this is all a matter of personal preference.

Men also have attractions and relationships with females that are a different age than them. Again, the reasons are just as diversified. They may seek an older or younger woman depending on their preference. They may also look for someone that is around the same age.

Some men that are less mature like to find a woman that is closer to their maturity level. In this situation, they would most often date a woman that is younger than them. This would help them to feel that they are fulfilling their role as the man of the relationship.

It is hard to present yourself as a strong man and as being capable of caring for your mate in a relationship, if you are not mature enough to fulfill this role. However, there are also some men that seek older women to have a relationship with. They want the mothering type of relationship and they want to be able to act a little less mature and be taken care of themselves.

For some people age has no influence on them at all. They date people based on their attraction or traits that they are looking for. They are compatible with a person and want to spend time with them. There are times that they will not even know how old the person that they are talking with is for awhile. They are not worried about age. There is no factoring of age to consider.

These people are sometimes the happiest and in some cases have the best relationships. This is due to the fact that they are not into trivial things and they are really looking for personality and internal traits. They are not worried about looks, age, or other trivial factors.

Every person is different. You may have to date people of different ages to determine what is best for you. If you are new to the dating scene, it is especially important to determine what works best for you. This is important to determine before you try to get involved in a serious relationship. If not, you are setting yourself up for failure and misery.





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What It’s Like To Travel Across The World For A First Date

What It’s Like To Travel Across The World For A First Date

Once upon a time, not so very long ago, I did something a little crazy. On one hand, this story may evoke admiration amongst the adventurous romantics of the world. On the other hand, it may call my sanity into question.

But here’s the thing: While my 20s and free passes for reckless behavior quickly slip away, I justify my choices by asking myself a simple question. What good is life without spontaneity and irrational, emotion-fueled decisions?

Meeting people online these days is pretty standard. We are a Facebooking, Tindering, Couch-surfing generation, after all. While I’ve done some strange things in my life, including but not limited to going on my fair share of internet-generated dates and moving across the world, I never imagined that Instagram would be the platform to launch an international whirlwind of a romance.

Here’s how it all started:
I was on an island in Thailand, the stunning Southeast Asian country that tempted me away from home for two years. I was in the middle of a beach scene worthy of a desktop screensaver. Despite this actually being my reality, I was shamefully glued to my phone. It was then, bikini-clad and epitomizing iPhone addiction, that a hot, seemingly well-traveled guy started to follow me on Instagram.
Now, perusing through an Instagram profile offers a lot of information about a person. In five minutes, those squares told me everything I needed to know.
I could clearly see he was good-looking, he’d been to numerous places around the world, he liked dogs, he worked out, he had an active social life, there were no recurring females to indicate that he was taken and he was close with his family (quite a mama’s boy by the looks of it.)

I followed back. He responded by liking a few pictures and commenting on my latest post. Feeling particularly bold, I decided to send a direct message: “So you’re adorable, how’d ya find me?” Turned out, in one of my #travel liking sprees, I’d liked one of his pictures. Our conversation quickly escalated into exchanging Facebook information and striking up conversation there. Thank you, social media.
David* was an English dreamboat bouncing between London, England and Marbella, Spain. Unapologetically intrigued by one another, we started talking incessantly, whenever our waking hours coincided. Something just clicked; I didn’t think twice about what to say and everything flowed effortlessly.

David had been to Thailand several times, and we had a lot in common. In addition to texting, we started exchanging short video clips, and I’d die a little bit inside every time I heard his ridiculously charming accent. Things accelerated quickly, and suddenly meeting each other was on the table.

I’d conveniently orchestrated a week off between jobs, and he didn’t have the typical 9 to 5. So who should go where? When David told me he was going to Spain during my week off, suddenly I knew I was, too.
We scheduled a FaceTime date to discuss our impulsive idea more seriously. Never had someone been more on my page; never had someone considered the outlandish things I considered.

We didn’t hesitate at all, which is the only way something crazy like this ever actually comes to fruition. I sent my first direct message on June 20. By June 25 I had a flight. By July 5 I had traveled nearly 19 hours and was toting a suitcase around Malaga Airport, nervously looking for this stranger that I would meet in person for the very first time.

With only five full days to spend in Spain, it would be a quick trip, considering the distance. The days spent together were not without their flaws (those English accents can be really hard to understand sometimes!), but we spent our days as this (no pun intended) insta-couple.

We had a romantic date night; we spent a lazy afternoon on the beach kissing and singing old ’90s hits from my iPod; we enjoyed homemade family dinners; we climbed a mountain and took risqué pictures at the top; we swam through a beautiful gorge; we took a boat to Old Town Marbella; we went on photo adventures and we explored swanky Puerto Banus and its nightlife.

It was like I’d walked onto the set of “The Bachelor,” but better. I had the exotic dates, the sexy man and thankfully, zero other women to beat off with a stick. As quickly as I’d arrived, it was time to head back to Bangkok. We set no expectations for what was to follow. Both of us were realistic enough to be content with the possibility that our time together might be nothing more than a crazy adventure.
While the internet has undoubtedly made the world a smaller place than ever, England and Thailand were still a considerable distance apart. The stars could not have aligned better to orchestrate our first meeting, but they kind of scattered across the sky after that.

David and I haven’t had the chance to see each other again, but we still talk to this day, over a year later.

Although we’ve both moved on, I consider him a close friend. We share our work and dating woes as well as our travel plans, the one thread and common interest that particularly connects us. Our moment may have passed, but I’m so glad to have had the adventure, and to have met someone else like me out there, someone willing to follow their heart and take a chance, even if it sounds like the craziest thing in the world.
In my book, it’s stories like these that make life worth living, and I plan on writing many more.


What It’s Like To Travel Across The World For A First Date

Via : Dating – Elite Daily by Lauren Carey


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How I Knew It Was Time To Leave Someone I Didn’t Want To

It’s easy to leave someone when they’ve driven to your house with all your stuff and ask to break up. It’s way harder though, to look them in the face and say you agree and believe it.
All of my family and some of my friends will just be finding out that I broke up with my boyfriend as they read this. I didn’t want to make calls and hear the disappointment in their voices, that’s not the response I need. What held the relationship together for a while was the expectation that we were together and should stay together.
This is not what a relationship is about. Staying true to yourself means you should constantly be changing yourself. Just because you’ve dressed a certain way your whole life doesn’t mean you can’t completely change your style one day if it feels right, and the same goes for your relationship.
A lot of friends I told have said, “I’m sorry.” Why not “congratulations?” If I’m getting out of a bad situation, so why is it assumed breaking up is a bad thing? Sympathy should feel more supportive than pity. I would have preferred a “I am here for you, how are you doing?” After all, no one died; I simply made a life decision.
I dated my now ex for over three years. We met in college and moved into the city separately to pursue our careers and each other. After we decided in person to break up, I sheepishly yet nostalgically said, “we had fun.” He responded, “we had something.”
Our relationship went most notably south last summer when I wanted a break from him. I felt like I wasn’t getting the attention, respect and mental stimulation that I deserved, and began to feel disappointed. I was 24 and afraid I made a life choice too quickly at 21. I’ve seen people settle around me, and I didn’t want to feel disappointed in a relationship for the rest of my life.
Instead of directly telling him how I felt, I started telling friends how I felt, and even convinced myself that I was starting to like someone else who was totally not right for me. My ex and I had a trip planned to go overseas with his family, so I decided that would be the make or break for me. That time, it ended up saving us.
The trip made everything clear to me, and my worries about commitment melted away — or so I told myself. I look back and realize how skewed it can be to evaluate your relationship in a family environment. You are surrounded by the dynamic you wish to create one day yourself, and everything appears a little easier. You see yourself in the family portrait and the familiarity feels comforting.
According to my Facebook feed, more people who stay where they grew up, or in another small town, tend to rush into marriage, whereas people who independently move to big cities wait longer. I think that’s really telling of people’s mind sets and priorities. Will you make do with what you have for the sake of love and family, or will you continue to grow through different experiences?
Months after our trip, my ex found text messages from the time I wanted to leave him, and he wanted to leave me that day. I begged him not to, and somehow got him to stay with me. For the next year I’d try to make it up to my bitter boyfriend.
I found myself taking pictures with him and saying he didn’t look happy to be with me and I’d try to take another. I began to realize the only time I was hearing I love you was in response to when I said it. He was just going through the motions and I was trying to make do.
When he left me officially, the last thing he said was, “let me know if you ever need anything.” I felt relieved I didn’t have to depend on that empty promise anymore.
Just like it takes two people to put effort into a relationship, it takes two to decide its fate. I was putting everything in his court, swearing to stay devoted. But eventually, I stopped listening to how I felt. Our relationship became all about gaining his trust back, when I never stopped to think if I even wanted it all back.
I realized he’d been gone for a long time, and I had been dating myself for a while. I asked myself why I was still in the relationship. If I was the only one trying to make me happy, shouldn’t I just be single?
I finally saw a therapist, and when I explained to her that I was a serial dater, hopping from one long-term boyfriend to another and always overly optimistic about my relationships, she told me it sounded more like I have co-dependency issues.
I’m 25, and the longest I’ve gone without being in a serious relationships is two months since freshman year of high school. I have never been on my own, and it’s exciting and scary at the same time.
With this built up bitterness, we both suffered a lot of emotional abuse. It’s a weird place to fall between both the victim and the villain. For a split second, sometimes I’ll think I could have done something to save our relationship.
But then I remember I don’t miss him; I miss the memory of him.
Loving someone who’s moved on is like being nostalgic for the house you grew up in, but all your family has since moved out. You can try to visit, but you’ll never be let back in. It will never be as warm and inviting as your home once was. And more likely than not, you’re probably going to get yelled at for walking on someone else’s lawn.
When he asked to break up and I said I wanted that too, at first I didn’t believe myself. But now I am grateful I did; what’s worse than not being in a relationship is being in half a relationship.
Thinking of three things helped me get me through the breakup. One is all the relationships I will now be able to invest more time and effort in. Many nights I’d skip out hanging out with my friends because I’d be having movie night or a family dinner with my boyfriend. Now I’m closer with some of my friends than I ever have been.
The second thing that gets me through is what I believe I deserve. I believe I deserve someone who supports me, who surprises me and who will love me for everything that I am.
The third thing is I also don’t need someone to tell me I’m beautiful and that I’m loved. I need to be able to tell myself that. For a while I was putting into a relationship what I so desperately needed out of it. Putting forth effort and compassion in a relationship just so you can receive it is a waste of time, and that’s why I decided to date myself.
I’m not speaking as a recovered person; I am still very much learning how to not become dependent. But I think it’s important to realize that being with someone isn’t necessary.
If you can date yourself you’ll never be lonely.

 by Kelley Lord  from
How I Knew It Was Time To Leave Someone I Didn’t Want To

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How to Handle Being “Just Friends”

One of the biggest myths in dating – and one I can’t stand – is the idea that men and women can’t be just friends. In its own way, it’s perversely fascinating because it’s very much a Straight People Problem. The idea that sex will inevitably come between two people doesn’t seem to be an issue when it’s two gay men or two gay women… and then of course, the idea that bi and pansexual people can’t be friends with anyone. But put a straight man and woman together and the general assumption is that somehow sex will inevitably rear its head and make platonic intimacy impossible.

“Oh come on, how is that NOT a one-way ticket to Boner Town?”

As tempting as it is to just make jokes and quote When Harry Met Sally, the idea that men and women can’t be just friends is actually shockingly toxic to men. Men already have a hard enough time fostering emotionally intimate friendships with other men; when we also accept that platonic intimacy with women can’t exist, we isolate ourselves even further. As a result: we find ourselves even lonelier than before, even when we’re surrounded by friends and familes.
As part of an ongoing series on helping men be more emotionally intelligent, we’re going to pick apart some of the barriers to cross-gender platonic intimacy and talk about how to learn to be able to be just friends with women… and how this can make us better, healthier men.

Believing the Worst About Ourselves (And Acting Accordingly)

The problems with men and women trying to be just friends is actually surprisingly complicated… for men. Women have much less of an issue of compartmentalizing attraction from intimacy. In fact, a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, suggested that while women were capable of keeping things platonic, men tended to have a harder time with the idea. But far from being a case of biology being destiny, this is a confluence of issues for men ranging from ideas surrounding male sexuality, to gender relations and emotional intelligence.
And one of the biggest issues when it comes to the idea that men and women can’t be just friends is that it’s predicated on men believing the worst about themselves.
One of the oldest and hoariest tropes surrounding male sexuality is that all men are inherently horny beasts and are powerless before our penises. Because our sex drives are so all-encompassing, we are unable to compartmentalize sex from every other aspect of our lives. In fact, our lives are focused around getting our penises into as many holes as possible over the course of our lifetime. This, of course, means that no matter what our conscious minds might wish to believe, ultimately our cocks have the final say in just about everything in our lives.

“Sorry I was trying to listen to your plan for my financial future but… booooooobs….”

This is part and parcel of some of the bizarre contradictions surrounding toxic masculine ideals – that being a man means being at the mercy of our id. We can’t relate to women as individuals or as anything other than potential fuck-holes because we’re too immature to be able to control ourselves. By default, any interaction with someone of the opposite sex¹ that we’re not related to is prelude to our trying to sleep with them. Of course, not only does this mean that not only can we not trust women, but we can’t trust men either. After all, if men are powerless before their penises and can ultimately only interact with women as a prelude to sex, it means that the men in your life are all waiting to betray you. By definition, every man you spend time with is simply waiting for the opportunity to bang your girlfriend or wife and will do so as soon as your back is turned. In fact, the JSPR study validates this: men were as likely to desire to date their “taken” female friends as their single ones.
Now to be sure, there are people who will talk about things like “bro code” keeping their friends from crossing those lines, and perhaps they even believe it to an extent. But at its core, believing that men and women only interact on a sexual level only serves to isolate men further; sex keeps men from being genuine with women and by extension, in competition with all other men. Who, then, can guys turn to for their emotional health? They’ve cut themselves off from all forms of social support, unable to trust anybody beyond the most surface level.
And while we’re talking about an inability to trust…

Friends Under False Pretenses

This idea that sex gets in the way of all cross-gender friendships leads to, among other things, women being unable trust men. One of the issues brought up in the JSPR study and related follow-up is the number of men who treat a cross-gender friendship as an opportunity for sex or a romantic relationship. For many men, being “friends” with a woman is simply the pretext to hang around in order to get into their pants.

“It’s taken me ten years to get here. Just a little while longer…”

This behavior serves to further isolate men, not just from friendships but potentially from romantic or sexual relationships as well. Because so many women have been betrayed like this, they’re naturally more guarded and less trusting of guys, even ones who have legitimate intentions. While not every guy does this² , the fact that almost every woman has a story of someone who was pretending to be her friend in order to get laid means that they’re left having to assume ulterior motives.
However, the idea that sex and friendship are mutually incompatible is also part of what leads to men thinking of friendship as a consolation prize for sex – devaluing both sex and friendship at the same time. It treats the offer of a legitimate emotional connection as a sort of “fuck you, you’re not good enough for me,” rather than someone³ trying to show that yes, they do value having you in their lives. This belief is, in no small part, part of how men are taught to believe that The Friend Zone is something that’s done to them – a cruel trick, or a way to keep men dancing in attendance to satisfy a woman’s emotional needs until a “real” man comes along.
Hell, for some, the idea that women would offer friendship is inherently insulting.
This is the trap in treating male/female friendship as “just friends” – the implication is that being a friend is inherently lesser in terms of intimacy or importance in another’s life if sex is not involved.
Except sexual attraction and friendship aren’t and don’t need to be mutually exclusive…

The False Dichotomy of Sex and Friendship

The generally accepted meme – as codified by When Harry Met Sally is that men can’t be friends with women they’re attracted to because sex inevitably gets in the way.
The part that goes unmentioned is how sex and sexual attraction get in the way. After all, if you’re dating somebody, you presumably have an emotional connection as well; it’s difficult to keep up a relationship with someone you can’t stand. Sex, somehow, doesn’t get in the way of friendship in that context. Is it because women don’t trust someone who’s attracted to them? Or perhaps because a man who’s attracted to a woman can’t act honestly around her as he tries to get her into bed? Then the problem isn’t sex, it’s the lying. Is it because the man will automatically attempt to court and bed her and this will drive them apart? Then the problem isn’t sex, it’s the behavior, making it a boundary issue. Is it because sex would “ruin” the friendship? Then the problem isn’t sex, it’s the two individuals involved and how they relate to sex. Is it because a man doesn’t or won’t respect someone who lets him sleep with her? Then the problem is that he’s an asshole.
(Notice how the issue is the man’s behavior? That’s in no small part because we as a culture seem to accept that it’s the man’s view of the relationship that decides whether it’s platonic or romantic…)
At its core, the idea that sex and friendship are mutually exclusive seems to come down to two issues. The first is that the two can’t exist simultaneously; the fact that you’re sexually attracted to someone means that what you feel isn’t friendship. The second is that attraction must be fulfilled, that an erection is a call to action.
In the former, part of the problem seems to revolve around our concepts of love and desire. We tend to only believe in two kinds of love: the sexless love for family and the love we reserve for our partners. Because we may not be interested in dating our friends, it means that by default, that love must be sexless. If sexual desire is involved then it can’t be friendship. At the same time however, we’re perfectly capable of being sexually attracted to people we don’t like; hell, sometimes we’re attracted to people we actively loathe. If sex can exist independently of wanting to date or marry someone (or even liking them) then it can’t contradict friendship.
In the latter, the problem is the idea that attraction is something that must be pursued and that the pursuit somehow conflicts with being friends. The problem here is the assumption that attraction is automatically the only impulse we can’t control. We all have impulses and ideas that we don’t act on, all the damn time. After all, if we responded to every stray emotion or thought we had,  I-35 would look like something out of George Miller’s wet dream.

“Meanwhile, commuters are advised to avoid the 35/290 interchange due to heavy War Boy activity as drivers are looking to die historic on the Fury Road.”

Part of being a grown-ass adult is learning how to handle our feelings. The fact that we’re attracted to somebody doesn’t necessarily require that we’re going to pursue it. For that matter it doesn’t even need to be brought up. It’s entirely possible to be just friends with someone without telling them that oh, by the way, you want to see them naked. It’s possible to let attraction just be, rather than making it somebody else’s issue. In fact, that refusal to not pursue it and treat every woman as a potential sex partner gets in the way of men’s emotional health.

The Emotional Benefits To Being Just Friends

While it’s difficult to talk about the benefits to being friends with someone without making friendship sound mercenary, pursuing a platonic friendship with women has benefits overall. Developing, accepting and maintaining a platonic friendship with women helps men learn to grow, socially and emotionally.
For example: one of the interesting findings of the JSPR study was that men tended to regularly overestimate their female friends’ interest in them.

“Oh yeah. She wants me. Just gagging for it.”

To a certain extent, it’s understandable that some men might confuse platonic affection for attraction. Women, in general, tend to be more emotionally and physically demonstrative with their friends, being more willing to open up, share secrets and generally show appreciation for their friends. Men, on the other hand, are socialized to be more closed off and keep things inside. When any demonstration of affection or intimacy is rare or unusual, it’s not surprising that guys may confuse something as simple as a friendly hug as a neon sign reading “She wants the D”. Being just friends can, among other things, help men learn to differentiate between signs of friendliness vs. signs of sexual interest and attraction. By being exposed to more forms of intimacy and affection – beyond the assumption that all cross-gender interactions are inherently sexual – it’s possible to learn to be both more demonstrative and able to accept that affection.
Having more female friends can help you improve your social calibration. Understanding women, listening to them – really listening to them, instead of trying to explain their own lived experiences to them – can help you learn how to relate better to others. By paying attention and listening to what women have to say, you’ll start to learn. Even learning to recognize how the way you say something can come across as patronizing or insulting when you don’t mean it to can help improve your ability to read social situations and respond.
But outside of practical issues, being friends with women is healthier for men, emotionally. As I mentioned earlier: men have issues with social isolation and emotional intimacy. Because of fears of being perceived as gay or unmanly, we tend to hold back from opening up to our male friends. As a result: we tend to make our partners our sole source of emotional support. That is a tremendous burden for any one person. Having female friends who are just friends gives you a broader base of support – and gives them more support when they need it as well.
Just to be clear: I’m not saying that platonic female friends are there to teach you how to emotion better. It’s on you to learn how to do this yourself, especially by following examples, not to expect others to do the work for you. And yes,  you should also seek out more emotionally intimate relationships with men too – I’ll cover this in a future article.

How To Be Just Friends With Someone You’re Attracted To

So with all of this in mind: how do you navigate the issue of attraction to someone you’re just friends with?
For starters: relax about it. Attraction to a friend is understandable, even common. After all, you wouldn’t be friends with them if you weren’t compatible and if you didn’t think they were awesome, would you? The key is to not let the feeling throw you or make you panic. The fact that you’re attracted to somebody is inherently neutral. It doesn’t say anything about your friendship to them. It doesn’t mean you need to do anything about it. It just is. It may seem like the best thing you can do is force it away; this is actually a mistake. Trying to stuff an emotion or feeling down the memory hole just makes it even more present in your mind. Ever try to not think of something? For example: try to not picture Estelle Getty dressed as a fox at a bondage club.

And now that you’ve done that, please take this adorable kitten as a mental palate cleanser.

Instead of trying to force it away, just let it be. Don’t dwell on it but don’t avoid it. Acknowledge it to yourself and move on. You will have enough stuff going on in your life that other things will occupy your mind as long as you aren’t making your attraction a big deal.
The other thing you should do is behave normally. Your crush is your business, not your friend’s. Bringing your feelings front and center as part of your friendship is forcing your friend to deal with something that’s not their responsibility. As Captain Awkward puts it: part of being just friends with someone you’re attracted to means setting some self-boundaries. Flirting with them (if you don’t already have a flirty friendship), denigrating her relationships with people who aren’t you, making joking-but-not-really comments about the two of you as a couple, or doing things like the too-long-and-now-it’s-awkward full-body hug are all ways of making your issue theirs. 
Should you mention it? Well, that depends on a couple of issues. If they’re dating someone else or otherwise have a monogamous commitment, then no, you should not. It’s not fair to put them in the position to have to turn you down and risk hurting your feelings. Have they been giving you signals that they might want to be more than friends? Are you capable of not taking rejection personally and letting the matter drop if she turns you down without it curdling your friendship? Then it might be possible to carefully broach the topic. If you don’t want to take the risk… then no. Keep it to yourself and allow things to progress on their own.
Women make amazing, valuable friends, when people don’t let issues of sex or romance complicate things needlessly. Handling an inconvenient attraction to a friend, or being just friends with someone you’re attracted to are part of developing your emotional intelligence. Not obsessing about your feelings not only lets you continue to enjoy your friendship, but it also leaves you open for when you meet someone who is right for you, romantically.

1. again: gay and bi men and women don’t seem to have this issue… heteronormativity, y’all!
2. #notallmen indeed
3. presuming that they’re being genuine and not giving the reflexive, socially conditioned “soften the blow” response

The post How to Handle Being “Just Friends” appeared first on Paging Dr. NerdLove.


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Why You Have No Argument If You Bring Up Something From Your Partner’s Past

Everyone wants to find that perfect someone. That someone with an unblemished past.
Although this seems great in theory, the truth of the matter is we all have a past. Many of us have done things we’re not necessarily proud of, but that’s a part of the human element and growing up. The decisions we made in our pasts are a part of who we are today, but those decisions don’t have to reflect the people we are today.
Our pasts are something we can’t change. So why, when it comes to relationships or dating, do we tend to dwell on our partners’ pasts?
Because we are afraid of what the world may think. I know, because I’ve worried about it myself.
I remember one incident a few years ago when I just started dating this woman I really liked. I told a friend about her, and my friend knew of her but didn’t know her personally. He made a remark about a sexual experience he heard she had with someone we both knew before I ever met her. I remember being embarrassed about this when I really shouldn’t have been.
Once I learned this information about her, I began taking her less seriously. We continued to date, but I became less consistent and less responsive. She eventually stopped talking to me because she felt she deserved to be treated better, which she definitely did.
We all deserve to be treated with the utmost respect by whomever we are dating, regardless of our past. The worst part of it was I liked everything else about her, but I cared too much about what other people may have thought.
Looking back, it seems silly that I sabotaged a good thing because of something she did before she was even aware of my existence. Fortunately, I’m older and wiser now. Now, I try to make an assessment of a woman’s character based off her personality and qualities versus her past. I do my best not to judge whomever I am dating’s past as I’d appreciate the same sentiment from her.
The main part of our partners’ pasts that we tend to judge are their sexual histories. Unfortunately, women tend to be scrutinized way more regarding this part of their pasts.
Sadly, we still live in a sexist world (Although, it’s progressing.) where a woman who’s been with multiple guys is seen as “tainted” and a guy who’s been with multiple women is labeled a stud or a player. The truth is that neither person is “bad,” but that’s a whole different discussion.
We should leave our partners’ pasts in the past because they’re things about them we will never be able to change, no matter how much we dwell on them. When you dwell on something you can’t change, it causes resentment and brings negativity into your life.
If you let this resentment build up for too long, things will eventually fall apart. You can end up losing the right person for you over a stupid matter of pride. If someone is perfect for you, why does it matter what anybody else thinks? Don’t let your pride and insecurities get in the way of you being happy. You control your own happiness; other people’s opinions should have no bearing. 
Also, those decisions he or she made helped mold him or her into the person you like today. So even if you were able to change his or her past, this person wouldn’t have grown into the same person you currently care for.
Lastly, I just want to note that when I refer to your partner’s past, I mean his or her past before dating you. If this person has done something unforgiving while with you, that’s a completely different story and something you probably shouldn’t stand for, however, I understand each situation is different. 

Source:  from Elite Daily by Eric Santos 

How To Get Out Of The ‘Talking Stage’ With Your Crush

How To Get Out Of The ‘Talking Stage’ With Your Crush

Meeting someone that you’re attracted to is always exciting. Novelty, in general, is exciting. And when novelty brings about the possibility of romance, we get especially excited.
The problem, however, is that not all of us are especially good at letting the person we fancy know that we’re interested.
It’s completely normal to be nervous about how to get your crush to like you. In fact, if you’re not nervous about that, then you probably don’t have the right chemistry to begin with. So if your hands are clammy and your stomach is in knots, take that as a good sign.

In general, crushes are interesting — the concept of a crush, I mean. I feel like the older you get, the less likely you are to have crushes. Then again, as someone who works remotely, I don’t have the same work experiences most people do. You guys have work crushes, right? I think that’s a thing. They seem to happen in shows and movies.
Or maybe you’re crushing on that barista at your local coffee shop. Or on the server at your favorite restaurant. Or on your favorite server at a restaurant you don’t especially like, but you go there just to see him or her. The relationship that you two have is one that most people only remember experiencing during adolescence.

The older you get, the more your dating habits — if you can call them that — change. Sure, some people date, but most (in my experience) do it for the sex. Which is why I find the idea of having a crush so fascinating. When you’re crushing, your goal isn’t to rip the other person’s clothes off. To be sure, the idea has certainly crossed your mind.

When you have a crush on someone, you are basing your interest on romance. This is incredibly interesting, because at such an early stage, you really don’t know the person. You feel like you two have a connection — like you were meant for each other. Only romantics crush, and when we crush, we tend to let our imaginations run wild — well past the line that separates reality and fantasy.

This is why crushes come and go so often — they aren’t based on something that is real; not yet, anyhow. However, what it does do is set the stage for a potentially beautiful relationship. Which is why I believe having crushes is actually good for the soul.

The problem, as I mentioned, is that people who have crushes usually don’t have it in them to make a move. We crush from a distance.
But if you want crushing to turn into loving, something needs to be done. You can’t hope that something happens on its own, because it won’t. Life doesn’t work that way. So how do you get out of the dreaded talking stage? You know, that lover’s purgatory that both comforts us and scares us? You grow a pair.

To get out of the talking stage, you have to let the person know that you’re interested, no matter how scary that may be. The truth is, the feelings may not be reciprocated. This person may not share your feelings. But that doesn’t matter; the fact is that you’ll never know until you know.
Life really is too short to not make a move on opportunities. So ask this person out on a date. Don’t beat around the bush; just do it. Worried about making a fool of yourself? Don’t be. Making a fool out of yourself for someone will probably only increase your chances of making your way into their heart.

What’s the worst that could happen? He or she turns you down? And then what? You think he or she will laugh behind your back? Tell everyone what a fool you are? Well, if that’s the kind of person he or she is, then you are a fool for having been interested in the first place.
But that almost certainly won’t happen. I have faith that you’re not an idiot and that you can tell the difference between a good person and a rotten apple. If that’s the case, then the worst that can happen is that you find out that your feelings aren’t being reciprocated. Then you can decide whether or not you want to spend time trying to convince this person that you’re worth loving (sometimes it is worth the trouble), or if you want to shift your focus onto the horizon and look out for someone else to love.

Whatever ends up happening, you make PROGRESS. You move through the natural stages of a relationship. And that’s what you’re after, isn’t it? You don’t always get what you want in life. Sometimes the thing or person you want most isn’t an option. When that’s the case, you need to look at your other options and keep moving. But in order to make any progress at all, you need to take a leap of faith and try your luck. If you don’t, you’ll only regret it. If you do, on the other hand, you may just win the lottery.

How To Get Out Of The ‘Talking Stage’ With Your Crush

Source from: http://elitedaily.com/dating/how-to-get-your-crush-to-like-you/1410433/


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3 Ways to Know You're Ready to Have Sex With Someone New

3 Ways to Know You're Ready to Have Sex With Someone New

Throw away the books of rules, and stop asking others for advice. It's time to learn how to turn toward yourself for the answers, as you are your own best dating and mating guide. 

Read more...

Article from  www.psychologytoday.com

It’s Not You, It’s Them: 6 Ways To Tell If You’re Dating a Narcissist

So you met someone.
This person is everything you ever wanted: charming, passionate and exciting.
But there’s still something missing. You just can’t put your finger on it.
Maybe it’s that he or she literally will not stop talking about how amazing he or she is.
Hate to break it to you, but you might be dating a narcissist.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder involves “arrogant behavior, a lack of empathy for other people and a need for admiration, all of which must be consistently evident at work and in relationships.”
Narcissists come across as extremely cocky and don’t understand how everyone isn’t obsessed with them.
Sound familiar? Look out for these signs:

1. Enough about you. Let’s talk about me.

Narcissists are constantly talking about themselves. They will gladly seize any opportunity to brag about their own accomplishments and put others down.
Oh, you had a great day? Don’t care. Let’s talk about mine.

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2. I am good-looking and generous.

Most narcissists are extremely romantic and charming. They are like the sleazy car dealers who somehow get you to pay full price for that used Toyota.
Does your partner woo you with grand romantic gestures? There could be a dark side to the flowers, chocolate and expensive gifts.
The narcissist doesn’t care how these things make you feel. He or she just wants you to love them.
The narcissists know if they impress you enough, you’ll be stuck. Once you are under their spell, it is so hard to escape.

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3. Let’s just keep it casual.

Getting serious with a narcissist is next to impossible.
He or she constantly makes false promises like, “I’m just really busy right now,” or the real winner, “I’m just so afraid you’ll hurt me.”
If you feel like your love interest is never ready to lock it down, it’s time to go.

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4. I throw temper tantrums when I don’t get my way.

If you don’t text narcissists back right away, they freak out.
If you go somewhere with your friends, they cry.
Narcissists have meltdowns similar to toddlers’. If they do not get their way, you will know it.
There is usually a spin to their tantrums. If you went out with your friends, they aren’t freaking out because of jealousy or insecurity.
No, it’s because they love you so much and want to see you.
Ever had one of those fights where you end up apologizing for something that didn’t even happen? Narcissists love those.

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5. I deserve the best.

Bring your partner to a restaurant and watch how he or she treats the staff.
If he or she is extremely rude and dismissive, this is a huge red flag. Narcissists believe they are above everyone, deserve the best treatment and should be catered to always.

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6. All my exes are crazy.

If they tell you all their exes are “crazy,” pack your bags.
Narcissists tend to report that all of their relationships ended because of the other person. This is due to their inability to accept blame and feel remorse.
The only common denominator in these relationships is them.

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Dating a narcissist is complicated. They are extremely skilled at reeling people in and getting them to stay there.
Your relationship may start to feel like a rollercoaster of amazing and absolutely terrible days.
This is how the narcissists trap you. You become entirely dependent on them to bring you out of the hole they buried you in.
This cycle may also cause you to second guess all of your decisions, as you’re afraid of upsetting the narcissist sleeping next to you at night.
Spotting these patterns early is extremely beneficial. If you ever feel like you aren’t being appreciated or respected in a relationship, it’s time to conduct a cost-benefit analysis.
Relationships are supposed to make you better.
The real test? Share this article and see who texts you saying, “Oh my god! I can’t believe you think I’m a narcissist.”

It’s Not You, It’s Them: 6 Ways To Tell If You’re Dating a Narcissist

Source: Elite Daily » Dating

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What is a collar stay?

Your shirt will thank you for using a collar stay

Improve your shirt game with a sneaky little piece of metal. A collar stay, also known as a collar tab, goes inside your shirt collar to keep it in position. Inserted at the corners of your dress shirt collar, collar stays weigh down the collar, creating a crisper look.

Why you should wear a collar stay

A flat, sharp collar point makes you look more sophisticated. While ironing your collar points is always a good idea, it is often not quite enough to avoid the dishevelled look. A collar stay gives a more professional and put-together impression than letting your collar points flap around.

When you should wear a collar stay

Not every shirt can accommodate a collar stay. This is because the collar stay is supposed to be inserted into pockets, which need to be inbuilt. Only quality dress shirts will possess collar stay pockets. Cheaper dress shirts usually scrimp on including the pocket, and while you could sew one on, it would probably end up looking worse than it did before.

Take this constraint on collar stays as a hint on when to wear them. If it is not an occasion where you are required to dress incredibly well, then it is unnecessary to wear a collar stay. You would look sharper with a collar stay keeping your collar intact for a formal event or a job interview, but it is not necessary for everyday use.

Purchasing a collar stay

The good news is that you may not even need to buy a collar stay, as it may be inbuilt into your dress shirt. The bad news is that inbuilt collar stays are often of inferior quality to their sold-separately brethren. An inbuilt collar stay is usually a small piece of plastic sewn in to your dress shirt collar. You do not remove this, even for washing.

If you are purchasing a separate collar stay, you have two options: metal or plastic. Metal collar stays can be pricey, but are worth the extra investment. There are a few different options for collar stays; like cufflinks, they are sometimes customised and made from precious metals. As nobody except you will see your collar stay, I recommend steering clear of gold or anything too ostentatious, when plain stainless steel will do the trick. If you are looking to save some money but still look decent, plastic collar stays are also an option. Plastic collar stays are disposable and incredibly cheap. While they will not work quite as well as a metal collar stay, they are still far superior to no collar stay at all.

Collar stays come in a variety of lengths, to accommodate different collar sizes. When purchasing your collar stay, bring your shirt instore so the shop assistants can fit your shirt with the correct size and style. A specialty shop or haberdashery store will have a large range and will be able to advise you on which collar stay is best for your shirt.

TSB Magazine | Dating and Lifestyle Advice for Men

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What She’s Really Thinking After A One Night Stand

What She’s Really Thinking After A One Night Stand

Every man knows of the awkwardness that exists after a one night stand—especially if it was fueled by alcohol. All of the wit and charm and momentum of the previous night are gone. Just hours before—in the shadows of the evening and in the exhilaration and haze created by the insuperable number of cocktails and beer you downed—she was the sexiest being on the planet. Her tight skirt, high heels, and burgeoning cleavage promised fleshly delights that were irresistible. She laughed at your jokes, held your hand, and fondled you as much as you fondled her. You turned on the charm, and she graciously received it. You danced, grinded, and made out. She insisted on going to your place for the evening. And once there, you gave yourselves over to the passions you had been building all night.

Now, it’s morning. You open your eyes, and all you see is a strange woman in your bed. But that is merely a first reaction. After a while, as she continues to sleep, you begin to recall that there was something about this girl—something besides the possibility of getting laid that drew you to her. A twinge of panic kicks in when she wakes up and sees you; and for a moment, she experiences her own sense of fear and disorientation.

Perhaps there could be something between you, if you can both just get through the morning. To do so, it is important to have an insight into what she’s thinking.

Her first worry is that you are now looking at her naked and without make-up. This didn’t matter when she was screwing your brains out. But now you get to see everything in the cold light of day. Indeed, if she is a curvy girl or a bit chubby her obsessing over her body may make her reticent to get out of bed. She may also have a natural shyness about being naked in front of strangers. One way to allay these concerns is to have a robe on standby. Be sure to cover up yourself, so that she feels more comfortable.

“Did he think I was bad in bed?” This is another thing she’s worrying about. You were both drunk, so neither of you were at your best. Perhaps you came to fast. Perhaps she was a bit clumsy in giving you head. But in the end, the alcohol and the desire took over and you ended up simply banging against each other—without skill, intensity, or any real attempt to prolong pleasure. Nevertheless, if you want to see her again, you should give her some re-assuring words about her performance. Next time, when you’re both sober, it’ll be better.

You may have forgotten her name, and she yours. This has happened to me a couple of times, and it is a difficult one to get out of gracefully. If you notice that she doesn’t call you by name, it means you’re both in the same boat. Take the lead. Relieve the tension by admitting that you’ve forgotten her name. She will then admit the same and you can have a laugh about it. If she remembers your name but you’ve forgotten hers, you’ve just got to bite the bullet and fess up. She’ll probably forgive you the oversight.

She will wonder whether you intend to make breakfast. This is an individual call. I think making breakfast is a nice and polite thing to do. It takes an incredible amount of courage for a woman to go home with a guy she’s just met. The least you can do is feed her. The only exceptions to this rule are guys who are bad conversationalist. If you are not the kind of man who can talk extemporaneously with a stranger, then you should either call her taxi or offer to give her a ride home; for transportation will be the other thing she’s thinking about.

Her nerves will also be on edge because of concerns about STDs and pregnancy. If you used a condom—and you should definitely use one—then you’re fine. However, she will still worry about it. This is instinctual in women, since they have the most to lose from both.

The last things she’ll be thinking about as she’s heading out the door are: “should I give him a kiss?” and “will he call me?” You should kiss her when she wakes up and be as flirtatious and playful with her as you can while she’s still at your place. If you are into her, then you should go out of your way to make her feel at ease around you. If you have called her a taxi, walk her out to it and kiss her before she gets in.

As for the first phone call, the amount of plotting and scheming and other forms of mental effort wasted on this question is ridiculous. Just call her the next day. It means absolutely nothing other than that you like her and want to see her again. And that’s all she’ll take it to mean.

TSB Magazine | Dating and Lifestyle Advice for Men

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[Video] Is Texting The New Normal For Dating?

[Video] Is Texting The New Normal For Dating?

Here’s the latest video from the series I created with Three Day Rule. It’s called “Is Texting The New Normal For Dating?”

Texting is fast, easy, convenient, and it’s certainly not going anywhere – but is it the best medium for communicating in a relationship?

In today’s video we talk about why calling has become modern chivalry, and how you can damage your relationships by relying on virtual communication.

The post [Video] Is Texting The New Normal For Dating? appeared first on Dating Coach - Evan Marc Katz | Understand Men. Find Love..

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Dating Etiquette

Dating Etiquette

When you go on a date there are certain things and
ways you should behave. Of course you want the person
to get to know you so you shouldn't try and be someone
that you are not.

When you go out on a date you should look and dress
nice. This will show the other person you care about
your appearance but you also care about what they
think about you. If you don't care about what the
other person thinks then you probably shouldn't be
going out on a date with them.

Depending on the person you are taking out you should
also remember to open the car doors and all doors for
your date.

If the woman you are going out with is a feminist,
then let her open the doors and do things for herself
or it will bother her. She also will want to pay for
her own meal.

If you are not going on a date with an independent
woman who is a feminist then you should open the
doors, be on time when you pick her up, and be
prepared to pay for the entire date.

Don't take your date somewhere you cannot afford and
never find yourself asking your date for money to
cover the bill.

Dating etiquette also includes not making the other
person feel as if they are on an interview. It is
common for people on a date to ask many questions and
they just want to get to know the other person.

However, don't make them feel as if they are on an
interview or you might scare them off. Be sure to
create a comfortable atmosphere.

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Age Differences In Dating

Age Differences In Dating

Some people are attracted to members of the opposite sex that have a significant age difference from them. They may prefer dating someone that is younger or older. This is often a matter of personal preference and there are many reasons that people choose these relationships. It is dependent on the individual person and their life.

In most cases, women are attracted to older men. This may be due to the fact that women mature at a younger age than men. In order for women to date a guy that is as mature as they are, they have to resort to older men. For some women, younger men that are less mature are not an issue.

They enjoy having a relationship with them and it all works out fine for both people. However, for some women having a mate that is less mature is almost like having a child. They do not want to have to mother their partner. They want the compatibility and the even keel. Again, this is all a matter of personal preference.

Men also have attractions and relationships with females that are a different age than them. Again, the reasons are just as diversified. They may seek an older or younger woman depending on their preference. They may also look for someone that is around the same age.

Some men that are less mature like to find a woman that is closer to their maturity level. In this situation, they would most often date a woman that is younger than them. This would help them to feel that they are fulfilling their role as the man of the relationship.

It is hard to present yourself as a strong man and as being capable of caring for your mate in a relationship, if you are not mature enough to fulfill this role. However, there are also some men that seek older women to have a relationship with. They want the mothering type of relationship and they want to be able to act a little less mature and be taken care of themselves.

For some people age has no influence on them at all. They date people based on their attraction or traits that they are looking for. They are compatible with a person and want to spend time with them. There are times that they will not even know how old the person that they are talking with is for awhile. They are not worried about age. There is no factoring of age to consider.

These people are sometimes the happiest and in some cases have the best relationships. This is due to the fact that they are not into trivial things and they are really looking for personality and internal traits. They are not worried about looks, age, or other trivial factors.

Every person is different. You may have to date people of different ages to determine what is best for you. If you are new to the dating scene, it is especially important to determine what works best for you. This is important to determine before you try to get involved in a serious relationship. If not, you are setting yourself up for failure and misery.